Toxic (4 page)

I didn’t want that. I loved my job. I was a people-pleaser and loved to see the pure joy that came over a customer's face when I helped fulfil their wishes and dreams. However, I could see his point; I didn’t want to be worried about losing my job every day either, but I did want to help pay for my share of the bills.

I sighed and lowered my head back to his chest.

“I know. Can we just eat and forget about the horrible day I had?” I asked. While I had completely forgotten about the day while on our walk, the worry and fear had now started to creep back, but not nearly with the same intensity as before.

“Absolutely. Anything you need, Precious,” John said, planting a kiss on my cheek before leading me to the kitchen by the hand so I could watch him finish the dinner he’d been making for us.

Chapter Four

~John~

I hated seeing Alix panic and it was still bothering me days later as I sat in my office waiting for my next appointment to show up. Things had not gotten any better at her job. No one had given a reason or explanation as to why they were all jumping ship so fast; I was beginning to think I knew what was going on, but kept my thoughts to myself until I had more proof.

Alix wouldn’t want to be a stay-at-home anything. I knew that, but part of me wished she would do just that. To know that she was waiting on me every day when I got home turned me on like crazy. While we lived the D/s life all the time, it’d be nothing like knowing I could take over that much more of her life. Was it controlling and over-the-top? Probably, but I couldn’t help it when it came to Alix. She was everything to me even before she was mine.

One day I would have to tell her everything about myself, but I wanted to put that off as long as I could because I doubted it would go over well. I didn’t want to hurt our still-developing relationship. Not when we were still recovering from my psycho ex.

April knocked on my cracked office door before sticking her head in.

“Sir, your next appointment is here,” she said in her sugary-sweet voice. The girl looked like she was no more than eighteen, but since I employed her, I knew she was twenty-four.

“Thank you, April.” I nodded once and pushed out of my chair. Straightening my jacket, I walked to the door and greeted my next client.

Sadly, it was another woman who had been sexually abused. I saw quite a few women who were trying to get over their past so that they would be able to have a normal sexual relationship, whether they had someone already or were simply thinking about the future. It was the hardest part of my job.

I actually enjoyed helping couples seek out and live their deepest, darkest desires. It fed my dominant side in a way nothing else did. Knowing that I was in control of the situation. That I was the one who’d orchestrated the whole thing. It was heady and gave me a high that was glorious.

Helping emotionally scarred people heal was a challenge I loved as well, though. Everyone was different. Their situations and their feelings about it could never be anticipated. It kept me on my toes and forced me to focus on something outside of my life, my needs, my desires. And it together it all kept me grounded and whole.

The relationship I had with Alix was only the cherry on top. I had started to get burned out before she came along and sparked a new light into my life.

After an hour of trying to help my crying patient, I was happy to have a few minutes break to breathe. It was emotionally draining on me no matter how many people I helped, no matter how many times brutal and cruel situations were rehashed.

April poked her head through the door.

“John, your next patient called and will be a few minutes late,” she informed me.

“Thanks,” I said. Since I had more time than anticipated, I picked up my phone and dialed Alix to check in on her.

“Hello?” she answered, sounding out of breath.

“Hi, Precious.” I smiled and relaxed just hearing her voice.

“Oh, John,” she cried.

I heard rustling on the other end of the phone and sat up straighter in my chair. Something was wrong.

“I just met with one of my new contacts and they want me to throw them a swinger party. I’ve never…” She trailed off and I could hear her gasping, as if she was crying but trying to hide it.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. Those were certainly not the type of parties the hotel put together.

“This morning my first new client asked me if they could bring in a Saint Andrew’s cross for their party. What is going on?” she wept.

“I have no idea. It’s all so strange,” I answered, tapping my fingers on my desktop, trying to hold back my anger on her behalf.

“I don’t understand why I’m losing respectable clients and having new people come in thinking we throw such parties. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, but management will not be happy to hear that word is spreading that these are the types of parties the hotel does.”

I sighed. It wasn’t that the parties were bad exactly, but a high-class hotel getting a rep for dirty parties would lose all their high-paying clients who didn’t want to be associated with such activities.

“We will figure it out. I have a patient who will be arriving soon, but then I have my lunch break and I’ll come see you, okay? Just breathe, Precious,” I tried to reassure her.

“Okay. Okay,” she breathed, then took a much deeper and slower breath. “I’m just really freaking out right now.”

“I know, Precious. Just hold it together. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Then she ended the call.

I glanced at the clock and hoped I had a few more minutes for another call.

***

Turned out my client ended up not being able to make it at all, which was fine by me because I’d needed longer than I’d thought I would for my call and it allowed me to get to Alix sooner.

As soon as I walked into her office, she jumped at me and latched her arms around my neck as she cried into my chest.

Running my hand up and down her back, I spoke soft, calming words to her until she got her tears under control. Finally, I pulled back and nudged her chin up with a finger so she’d look at me.

“It’ll be okay. Just remember that I’m here for you no matter what,” I said, running a hand through her hair. An idea sprang into my head and I released her to shut her office door before facing her. I moved so I was facing the window out of her office and her back was to it as she followed me. “Lift up your shirt.”

She hesitated only a moment before pulling up her silk shirt and revealing her smooth stomach to me. I could see worry in her eyes as I reached around her for the pen container on her desk. Grabbing a Sharpie, I dropped to my knees in front of her before uncapping it.

Carefully I wrote the words “Property of John O’Roarke” over the creamy expanse of her abdomen in large black letters. I recapped the marker and placed a kiss on her skin, then stood. After dropping the pen back on her desk, I cupped her face in both my hands and locked gazes with her.

“Anytime you start to stress out about this nonsense, remember what is written here,” I said, splaying a hand over my words. “You are mine. No one else matters. Just me and you, Precious.”

“Yes, sir,” she breathed as she looked down at the words, then placed a hand over mine. “That helps.”

“Good. Now how about we go get some lunch?” I pulled her shirt back down hiding the black marks on her skin.

She took a few deep breaths with her eyes closed before opening them and revealing the more confident woman I had come to know.

“Sounds perfect.” She smiled.

Once she’d retrieved her purse, Alix looped her arm through mine and I escorted her out of the hotel, all the unnecessary stress was left behind, at least for a while.

That afternoon when I returned to work I couldn’t help but keep going through the conversation I’d had on the phone that morning before seeing Alix. I’d called Mariah and told her that her antics weren’t appreciated and weren’t going unnoticed. As I’d expected, she’d denied doing anything, but I didn’t believe her. It wasn’t like her to let go without a fight and although she’d tried to get Alix to leave me and failed, I knew she likely wasn’t done causing hell.

I wished I could go back and never have met the woman, but I couldn’t. All I could do was be as supportive of Alix as I could and pray that it would end soon.

Thankfully, I was booked solid and would have other problems to keep my mind busy for the rest of the day.

When I got home that night, Alix had beaten me. She was sitting on the couch staring at a blank television set.

“Precious?” I asked, setting my keys and wallet on the side table as I toed off my shoes.

“Yes?” she asked, shaking her head.

“Why are you just sitting here?” I sat next to her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“It shouldn’t be such a big deal, but I’ve never felt like someone was so directly targeting me before. It’s unnerving and scary,” she said into my neck.

I wanted to tell her the more she thought about it the more it took over her thoughts, her life, but I knew it wouldn’t help since she was strung so tightly already.

“We’ll figure out who it is and make it stop. I promise. I’m working on figuring out who would do such a thing.” If she hadn’t figured Mariah out as the person behind it, I didn’t want to be the one to put the idea in her head. “In the meantime, go to the bedroom and strip.”

“John…” She trailed off.

I could tell she wasn’t in the mood tonight, but it would help. After working all day I was just as ready for bed as she was, but a little play would help relax her so she’d be able to sleep.

“Precious,” I said with a sterner tone.

She sighed and pushed off the couch before trudging down the hallway.

I followed close on her heels and stood in the doorway to watch as she swiftly dropped her clothes into the pile of dry cleaning before climbing onto the bed. Once she was resting on her back, I stepped into the room. Running my hand over the words over her abdomen, I asked, “How did it feel having these words on you all day?”

“Good, sir,” she answered, closing her eyes.

“Did you like being so clearly marked as mine where others couldn’t see? Did it turn you on to know they couldn’t see something so boldly written on you?” I asked, tracing the letters with my finger-tips. “What do you think they’d say if they knew it was there?”

“I loved it. It gave me a sense of calm that even your pearls can’t give me. I liked that they couldn’t see it. It was personal and sexy, just like what we have between us.” She gasped and writhed on the sheets as my fingers dipped between her thighs to drag over her pussy lips.

“I want to watch you play with yourself,” I said, stepping back from the bed.

She groaned at the loss of contact, but didn’t hesitate to replace my fingers with her own. She didn’t take her time and go slowly, but pushed two fingers deep before sliding them back out. Not wasting time at all, she plunged her fingers in again so hard her breasts jiggled. Soon her whole body was nearly sliding up and down the bed with how fast she was fucking herself.

As her breathing sped up and her muscles started to tense, I grabbed her wrist, making her stop.

“No. I didn’t say you could come,” I told her with a smile.

She groaned and bucked her hips into the air in frustration.

After a minute I released her. I threaded our fingers together and plunged two of my own in along with hers.

Alix cried out and arched against the bed.

“Yes. Please, more,” she begged. Bending her legs, she planted her feet on the bed to get more leverage to ride our joined fingers.

I brought her to the edge again before pulling her hand away.

“Damn it!” she shouted and slapped a hand against the mattress.

I flipped her over in a second and slapped her ass hard with my palm before rolling her back over.

“Don’t swear or yell at me or I’ll make it worse,” I said, soothing a hand up her stomach to cup a breast. I let each finger slide over her pert nipple before pinching it between my fingers. “Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed to gasp between sucking air into her lungs.

“Start again,” I demanded.

She moved her hand back to her pussy and slowly pushed her fingers in and out.

“Did I say you could slow down? You are the one who started fast and hard, keep that pace.” I tweaked her nipple for emphasis.

Groaning, she sped up and I stepped back to watch her push herself to the edge.

She’d caught onto the game I was playing and was trying to make it easier on herself. Which was exactly why I forced her to make it harder – it was what she expected from me. It was my job as her dom to push her.

I let her bring herself to the tip, almost to orgasm before stopping her. Over and over again. Each time she got more and more frustrated to be kept from falling over into bliss.

“Again,” I told her finally. Before she could touch herself, I added, “You have thirty seconds to get off or you’ll have to go all night without it.”

It took her twenty-two seconds.

“John!” she wailed as she thrashed on the bed, endorphins ricocheting through her body.

I stripped before climbing between her thighs and sinking into her still-spasming pussy. Her warmth surrounded me and nearly made me come. As much as orgasm denial was hard for her, it turned me on so much I nearly got off from it. Add in her soaking-wet heat squeezing me tight and I was there, but I fought to hold it off.

“Yes! You feel so good,” Alix moaned, wrapping her legs around me, pulling me deeper into her.

“Yeah? You like that big cock stretching you? Sliding into while you’re still coming?” I lowered myself to my elbows so I could grab handfuls of her hair as I fucked her into the mattress.