Toxic (Addiction #1) (22 page)

She opened the bus door without knocking and walked in. There was no one in the first half of the bus and it was extremely quiet which put her on high alert.
 

All the cabinets were open, drawers were pulled out and there were some cups and napkins that were tossed about on the counter. Ignoring the mess, Maisy cautiously walked to the back of the bus, checking all the bunks for any sign of Rook, but didn’t see anything.
 

She didn’t hear the strum of his guitar like she normally did when she headed to the back of the tour bus that belonged to Shattered Souls, which was unnerving. The door to the back room was cracked open so she slowly opened it the rest of the way.
 

When she entered the room, she didn’t see Rook. He wasn’t on the bed or in the room at all. Where the hell was he? She turned to leave when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure in the corner of the room, sitting on the floor.
 

Rook had his arms resting on his bent knees and his head was resting on his arms with a bottle of Jack Daniels dangling from his fingertips. Startled because she wasn’t expecting to see him there, she calmed the rapid beat of her heart and walked toward him. She sat on the floor and lifted his head up so she could look him in the eyes.
 

His piercing blue eyes were lacking any kind of emotion. They were dead. He looked at her and lifted the dangling bottle to his lips without losing eye contact. Before he could take a swig, she grabbed the bottle from his hand and set it down behind her.
 

“Don’t,” she said to him. “Don’t you dare lose yourself in a bottle of alcohol. You’re better than that.”

“No I’m not.” His voice came out scratchy. “That bottle is the only good thing about me.”

“That’s not true. You hide behind that bottle because you’re too much of a chicken shit to face your own fears.”

“Like you fucking know anything.” He wiped his face with his hands. “I put myself out there for you this morning and what do you do? Go and kiss some other guy right in front of me.”

“First of all, I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me…”

“Technicalities…”

“Second of all,” she cut him off, “You didn’t give me a chance to think it over. You put a lot out there and I needed to make sure I was ready. Instead of walking away, walking away from me, you should have stuck around, but instead you turn to the one thing you should stay away from.”

“Hey, Jack and I have gone through some tough times together. It’s the only thing I can depend on. It’s always there for me.”

“That’s a sorry excuse. You’re better than that and don’t you dare tell me you’re not. You’re just too lazy to try.”

“Whatever. Is there a point to you taking away my booze?”

Maisy sat back on her heels and looked at Rook. This was it, she could either choose to walk away and not have to deal with his mood swings, his ability to specialize in being a dick and his snide remarks, or she could dive in full force, with her heart and soul attached. She could try to be with him, help him, and soothe the ache in her heart that was ever-so-present when she was away from him.
 

She got up and took the bottle that he was drinking over to the sink that was in the main area. She didn’t have to look back to know that he followed her because she could feel him near her. She turned the bottle upside down and dumped all the contents down the drain. She then rummaged through the cabinets and did the same thing with the rest of the bottles that were on the bus.
 

Rook was leaning against the side of the wall when she turned around to look at him. He wasn’t mad, he looked…almost relieved.
 

She looked around the bus and then said, “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?”
 

“Don’t bullshit me, Rook. Where’s your stash? I know it’s here somewhere.”

“What do you think, you’re my mom?”

Maisy got up in his face, as close as she could get since he was taller than her, and poked his chest while she spoke.
 

“You want to be with me? You want me to belong to you? Then you’re sure as hell going to belong to me too, but you’re going to be sober. I refuse to live on the drug-induced emotional roller coaster you’ve been living on, so hand the stash over or I will walk out of this bus and never let you touch me again.”

Maisy was shaking to her core but she refused to show him. If he didn’t hand over his stash of drugs, she didn’t know what she was going to do. She would be heartbroken if he chose drugs over her.
 

Her confidence wavered as he stood there and stared at her, not making a move to retrieve his stash. He was going to deny her, she could feel it. He was going shut her out of his life. She was starting to regret her decision and thought about pleading with him to be with her. She was seconds away from doing just that when he turned around and headed to the back room.
 

He came back with a brown bag and handed it over to her.
 

“It’s all there.”
 

Maisy’s heart pounded through her chest as she realized the gesture Rook was handing her. He was giving up the only comfort he knew to be with her. He was trying to change so they could be together. Maisy knew it was going to be hard, but she was willing to try if it meant her soul was going to be at ease.
 

Maisy flushed the contents of the bag down the toilet, knowing the bus driver would have fun pumping it from the bus later, but she didn’t care. She wanted to get rid of it forever. When she went back into the living room area, she looked at Rook who was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.
 

She walked over to him and untwined his arms that were tightly encasing his chest. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her in close so their chests were touching.
 

“Thank you,” she whispered.
 

He tilted her chin up so she was looking at those beautiful blue eyes. “No, thank you.” He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her in. She melted into his arms as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. He felt so incredibly right.
 

“Thank you so much.” He kissed the top of her head. “I need you, Maisy. I need you so damn much.”

“I need you too, Rook.”

She tilted her chin up and kissed him along his jaw. He lowered his head so she could have access to his lips. They gently kissed each other while holding on to one another as if they would disappear if they didn’t. His lips moved up and down hers and lightly pecked away all the anxiety that was roaring through her stomach.
 

She was going to work damn hard to make this work with him because she knew if it didn’t work out, there was no way she would be able to be with anyone else. Rook was it for her, even if she was setting herself up for failure. Even if she knew in the back of her head that there was no possible way that they would be able to have a normal relationship or avoid heartbreak. It was bound to happen, the question was, when would it happen?
 

Chapter 11

“Thank you for coming tonight!” Rook shouted into the mic, as they ended their last song for the night. It was his first-ever concert performed completely sober. Damn, if he didn’t feel good. He felt like he was on a raging high but is was purely from adrenaline. The screams from the crowd, the way the music vibrated through his body and the looks he got from Maisy from the side of the stage made him feel like he could accomplish anything that came his way.
 

He’d been sober for a week and it had been one of the best weeks of his life, not because his mind was clear enough to actually think for a second, but because he had Maisy at his side. They spent as much time as possible together, but always went their separate ways at night. Rook wasn’t happy about it, but Maisy insisted, saying they needed to spend time with their respective bands as well, but Rook was going to be putting an end to that nonsense. He gave Maisy a week to run the relationship the way she wanted, but he was taking over now. He refused to spend more time away from her than he already had.
 

Cruz backed off the obnoxious flirting with Maisy, which was good because Rook really didn’t feel like ripping his best friend’s dick off. Not that he was opposed to it, he just didn’t feel like acting on his threats. The one thing that still bothered Rook was the fact that Cruz still felt like it was ok to kiss Maisy when he saw her. Maisy told Rook it was purely friendship, but Rook didn’t care. He wanted the unnecessary affection to end. Maisy was his.
 

Rook bent down and touched screaming fans hands, signed some of their memorabilia and even bent down to take a picture with a few. Several girls pushed pieces of paper into his hand that had their numbers written all over them. Typical maneuver, Rook was used to it and never acted on the numbers. He stuffed them in his pocket and walked off the stage while patting his bandmates on the backs.
 

There was something to be said about performing while sober. He had never felt so alive before in his life, well except when he had Maisy in his arms. Did he have cravings for his previous vices? Hell yeah, but were they stronger than the cravings he had for Maisy? Not even close. Maisy was a much bigger addiction than drugs and alcohol and he had no intention of trying to quit the habit.
 

Looking around back stage, he didn’t see Maisy like he usually did, waiting for him to leap into his arms and plant her sweet, intoxicating kisses all over his face. So instead of looking for her, he went straight to his dressing room to take a quick shower before they got back on the tour bus. Rook hoped to God Maisy was not already on her tour bus, asleep. Well, if she was, then he would be crashing her bunk, he didn’t care what she said. Nights without Maisy were ending now.
 

Rook tore off his clothes and headed into the shower. He thought about Maisy and where she was, what she was wearing and if she was thinking about him. The thought of her got him excited. They still had yet to seal the deal; if it was any other woman, she would have been kicked to the curb within hours, but he knew Maisy had a rough intimate background thanks to her ass hat of a father. So, Rook decided to take it slow with her; she was worth it, but that meant he was carrying around a nice case of blue balls and unmanaged stiffies.
 

He looked down at his crotch and groaned as it surged to the sky. He needed release and badly. Normally, he would have his security detail let back a groupie to take care of his situation, but that was no longer an option so instead, for the first time in an extremely long time, he grabbed some soap, wrapped his hand around his dick and started pumping as visions of Maisy flew through his head.
 

His spare hand leaned against the tile of the wall as he bent over, trying to ease the tension that was built up in his body. Rook thought about Maisy’s sweet kisses, the way she touched his chest innocently and the way she looked in all her concert clothes. Quinn loved showing off Maisy’s legs and Rook would be forever grateful to Quinn for that.
 

His balls started to tighten and his release built up at the base of his cock to the point of no return. Fuck, he was going to explode.
 

“Rook?” Maisy’s voice trailed through the door.
 

Rook tried to pull away from his dick but it was too late, he couldn’t stop even if the president just walked in the room. He was a goner.
 

He groaned as he released himself all over the tile wall. He pumped his hand until every last drop was gone. He didn’t need to look up to know Maisy was in the bathroom, he could feel her gaze boring a hole through him. He felt like a total ass for relieving himself, but he couldn’t take the pent up tension any longer; he needed some sort of release.
 

Feeling like a complete dick, he turned off the shower, grabbed the towel that was right next to the door and wrapped it around his waist. He exited the shower and was greeted by Maisy who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest, looking pissed.
 

He didn’t know what to say. How do you start a conversation with, “Hey, so you just heard me come all over the bathroom wall. What did you think?” So instead he took another towel and dried his hair.
 

“You have a good time?”

Rook blew out a frustrated breath. “Maisy, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why you’re mad at me. I didn’t want to pressure you into sex, so I have to get release somehow. You have to understand that.”

Maisy walked toward him, anger still etching her eyes. She lifted her hand up to him and opened it, revealing multiple pieces of papers with numbers written all over them.
 

“Why didn’t you make a call if your girlfriend wasn’t doing it for you?”

Shit.

He always emptied his pockets before he took off his jeans since a piece of left over gum was left in his pants one time and ruined his favorite pair. He was in such a hurry to get showered and get to Maisy that he just left the contents from his pockets on his coffee table, not even thinking they would be out in the open for anyone to see, especially Maisy.