Tracie Peterson (11 page)

Chapter 14

G
arrett’s mood was black and stormy. He stood beside his horse, Alder, using firm brush strokes to rid the animal’s coat of clay and mud which had accumulated during their ride. It was the last day of September, and instead of giving routine orders to ready Piñon Canyon for the winter, Garrett was trapped twelve miles away at the mission David and Jenny Monroe had established for the Pueblos.

Alder sensed his master’s mood and stood as still as stone. Garrett finished currying his horse, and after knocking most of the mud from his boots, he made his way to David and Jenny’s house. The sky started to pour rain as Garrett entered the kitchen. Warmth hit his face in a welcome wave. The smell of tortillas and meat made him recognize how hungry he was.

“Garrett Lucas, you get in here and change those clothes!” Jenny Monroe demanded. Garrett smiled. Jenny was Garrett’s junior by at least two or three years, but at times she seemed years older.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Garrett drawled lazily and tipped his Stetson.

“Hurry up. Supper will be on shortly.” It was all the encouragement Garrett needed.

An hour later, Garrett pushed away from the crude wood table and patted his stomach. “Good grub, Jenny!” he declared, and several little voices mimicked him.

“Good grub!”

Jenny Monroe looked down the twelve-foot table into the grateful brown eyes of the orphans she cared for.

“Go on with all of you,” she said and stood to clear the table. She turned loving eyes to her husband of five years.

“David, why don’t you and Garrett take yourselves to the sitting room, and I’ll have Mary and Anna get these kids to bed.” Seven little moans echoed down the length of the table, but the children who were old enough to take care of themselves got up from the table and raced upstairs. The older girls, Mary and Anna, tenderly cared for the youngest three.

“Come along, Garrett,” David Monroe called. Garrett rose slowly from the table. He was tired and stiff from bringing down strays from the upper ranges.

The sitting room was warm and inviting. Garrett sat down in front of the fire, appreciating its warmth. He watched David Monroe put more wood on the fire. Garrett longed to hear of news from Piñon Canyon, but he waited patiently for David to sit.

“I suppose you’d like to hear the latest,” David said, joining Garrett in a chair by the fire.

“You know I would. It was all I could do to wait through dinner. How’s Maggie?” Garrett asked anxiously.

“I have a letter. Would you like to read it?” David asked, pulling the envelope from his pocket. Garrett nearly leaped from the chair to take the precious paper from his friend. He scanned the pages with intense interest. At one point David thought he saw tears in Garrett’s eyes, but just as quickly his eyes dried.

“She’s accepted the past. That’s good,” Garrett said absently. “And she’s accepted Jesus as her Savior. That’s even better!” Joy surged through Garrett’s heart. Maggie was working through the past with her father, and soon, very soon, he could return to the ranch and marry her.

“David, this is wonderful news! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

David Monroe chuckled. “Easy, Garrett. There’s still a long way to go.”

“I know all that, but it’s a huge step forward. I mean, if you’d seen her these last few months. She’s skin and bones, and the dangerous way she rode the gelding made me want to give up at least a thousand times.”

“I told you it wasn’t wise to spy on her,” David reminded.

“I know, but I couldn’t help it. I just had to feel close to her. I’ve loved her for so long.”

David nodded. “I know what you mean. It was a good thing Jenny lived in the same town as the Bible college I attended. I would have gone mad without her.”

“Then you understand,” Garrett whispered. “David, sometimes, I’m not sure what to make of it. At first I thought it was a silly infatuation. But as I listened to the letters from her grandmother, I drank in every word about Maggie and couldn’t wait to meet her,” Garrett paused, remembering his anticipation of their first meeting.

“When I finally stood outside her house in Potwin, I wasn’t sure I could play my part. I’d already told Jason how I felt, and he couldn’t have been happier. But I knew I’d need to convince Maggie, and I wasn’t sure I could. Boy, the prayer that went into that one!”

David smiled. “I always believed God was setting you up for something special, Garrett.”

“He sure was. When I realized that Maggie was falling for me, I started to panic. There was the matter of her father, and I was even more troubled by the wall she’d built to shut out God. She couldn’t see God’s love for her. That’s why this letter offers the best possible news. Maggie has learned she can count on God.”

The two men barely heard the rustling of Jenny’s skirts as she brought coffee into the sitting room.

“Here we are,” she said in her soft, gentle voice. Garrett had heard that voice comfort heartbroken children and soothe the worried heart of her husband. Jenny Monroe’s every action reflected her Savior.

“Thank you, Jenny,” Garrett said as he took the offered cup. “David just showed me the letter. Isn’t it great news?”

“It certainly is, Garrett. Just what we’ve prayed for. We must continue to pray, however. You know how hard this time will be.” Jenny spoke with authority. Garrett wondered if something in her past gave her special insight.

“I reckon it will be at that,” Garrett replied. Truth was, he hadn’t considered anything past the contents of the letter.

“I think it would be a good time to drop a note of encouragement, Garrett,” David interjected.

“Oh, yes,” Jenny agreed, sitting next to her husband. They exchanged a look of tenderness which made Garrett’s heart ache.

“You think so?” Garrett asked hopefully. He’d wanted to write Maggie every day, but at the advice of David and Jenny, he’d given Maggie the opportunity to make the right choices on her own.

“Definitely,” David began. “She’ll need to know you still care, and she’ll need to know you’ve been praying for her—you’re still praying for her. Maybe,” David added, remembering something Garrett had said earlier, “maybe you should let her know you’ve never been far away, that you’ve been watching over her.”

“I think that’d be nice, Garrett,” Jenny said. “I know a woman’s heart likes to hear things like that. Share some encouraging Scripture too. She’ll need the Word as she learns to walk in faith.”

Garrett got to his feet, nearly spilling his coffee. “I’ll do it right now. Do you suppose Lupe could deliver it tomorrow?”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to,” David said enthusiastically. “I’ve got some papers to send to Jason anyway, so the trip will be necessary for both of us.”

Jenny placed her hand upon her husband’s cheek. “Why don’t we leave Garrett to his letter? I would love an evening stroll.” The love shone clear in her eyes, and David wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I’d like that too,” he agreed. “If you’ll excuse us,” David said, rising to his feet. “We have a walk to take.”

Garrett watched as they left the room. David and Jenny Monroe shared a deep, abiding love. Garrett dreamed of a love like that with Maggie, and the news he’d just received finally made it possible.

Later that night, after pouring his heart onto three pages of David’s personal stationery, Garrett lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. “How much longer, Lord?” he wondered aloud. “How much longer until I can go home?”

He thought about the words he’d written. He’d wanted to explain everything he felt. He kept remembering how Maggie had told him she wouldn’t wait for him. How would she feel now that she’d made peace with God and her father?

Long into the night, Garrett tossed and turned. His sleep was fitful, and more
than once he woke up drenched in sweat. Morning couldn’t come too soon.

❧

Back at Piñon Canyon, Maggie awoke to the warmth of fall sunshine. She stretched slowly and purposefully like a sleek mountain puma.

For a moment, Maggie listened to the morning sounds of the ranch. She smiled at the smell of hot coffee and bacon. Maria was preparing breakfast. After months of near starvation, Maggie felt like making up for lost time.

Quickly, she threw back the covers and went to her vanity. She poured cool water from the pitcher and washed the sleep from her face. Carmalita hadn’t arrived to help her dress, but Maggie didn’t mind. She went to the wardrobe and pulled out a dusty rose day dress. Just as Maggie was securing the last few buttons, Carmalita knocked and entered the room.

“Señorita Maggie, you should have called for me,” Carmalita said, rushing to help Maggie.

“Nonsense. I’m not an invalid, even if I’ve acted like a sick cow for the last few months.” Carmalita looked shocked, and Maggie gave a little laugh.
“I’m sorry, Carmalita. I’m really not loco, as Maria would call it. I’ve final
ly found peace.”

Carmalita began to brush Maggie’s thick, auburn hair as Maggie continued to explain. “These past months, I died a little each day, wondering if my harsh words had driven away the man I hoped to marry. I hated myself for hurting my father and for being so ungrateful. But you know, Carmalita,” Maggie said, pausing to put her thoughts in just the right words. “The worst part was my alienation from God.”

“What do you mean?” Carmalita questioned.

Maggie took hold of Carmalita’s hands. “Carmalita, two days ago I gave my heart to Jesus. I’m at peace with God, and now I can truly begin to live.”

Carmalita smiled shyly, but with understanding. “That is good, Señorita Maggie. I, too, am a Christian.”

“You are!” Maggie exclaimed with positive delight. “How wonderful. We can help each other.”

Carmalita seemed happy with the change in her mistress. She finished Maggie’s hair quickly and went to tidy up the room.

Maggie whirled in front of the mirror, suddenly very interested in how she looked. The rose colored dress hugged her slim figure, and the gored skirt swept out from her hips and flowed to the floor. The wine trim on the bodice and sleeves made her hair look a deeper, coppery color. Satisfied with her appearance, Maggie joined her father for breakfast.

“My, you’re up early, aren’t you?” Jason said as Maggie took her place at the table. “And don’t you look pretty.”

“Thank you, Father.”

Maria placed platters of fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, and ham on the table. Maggie helped herself to generous portions of everything.

“What would you like to do today?” Maggie asked her father between bites.

“I’m afraid I’m not up to a great deal.” Jason gave a series of hoarse coughs which left him breathless.

“What if we enjoy each other’s company here in the house? You can tell me more stories about the years we’ve missed, and I can tell you some of mine.” Maggie tried to hide her concern for her father, but it was evident by the furrow of her brow.

“You mustn’t worry, Maggie. I don’t fear death. I have found peace with God and with my beloved daughter. I can go home to heaven with a peace I’d only dreamed possible.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk about dying, Father. It seems like asking for trouble.” Maggie sounded tense and curt. She hated her father referring to his death. She wasn’t ready to let go of him.

“Maggie, you can’t pretend something isn’t going to happen just because you don’t like the idea,” Jason sighed. “I wish I could stay to see you married and with children of your own. I’d like to watch you and Garrett take over the running of this ranch. But I only asked God to let me live long enough for us to put our differences aside. He’s given me that and more. I’d say anything else is added blessings.”

“But, Father.” Maggie started to protest, but Jason waved his hand.

“Don’t blame God or resent His timing. Promise me, Maggie. Promise me you won’t allow my death to cause bitterness in your heart.”

Maggie looked at her father for a moment. His faded blue eyes were sunk deep into his face. There was a grayish pallor to his skin and frailty to his movements.

“How can I promise a thing like that? I don’t want to lose you. It seems like I just found you, and now you’ll be taken from me.” Maggie said thoughtfully.

“You must trust God, Maggie. In His infinite wisdom, He will work all things together for good. Would you have me stay and suffer like this?”

“No, Father. Never! I didn’t mean—”

“I know you never meant it that way,” Jason said, taking hold of Maggie’s hand. “But you must consider my viewpoint. I’m tired of the weakness, the lack of air, the coughing. It pains me to remember the man I used to be and to see the man I’ve become.”

Her father was right, Maggie realized. It was pure selfishness to want her father to continue living. And for what? Her pleasure? Her need?

“Forgive me, Father. I want the very best for you, and I promise I won’t hate God for whatever the best may be. If it means losing you soon, and I pray it doesn’t, then I will accept His will. In the meantime, I want to enjoy every moment.” Maggie gave her father’s hand a squeeze.

“Good. You have no way of knowing the contentment that gives me.”

Maggie smiled and felt at peace. She finally had the father she’d longed for, and with him came the security of belonging.

Chapter 15

B
efore Garrett’s letter could be delivered by Lupe, another letter arrived at Piñon Canyon. With it came the news that Sophia Intissar had passed away.

Devastated, Maggie sat in front of the fireplace, watching the dying embers of a late morning fire. Her heart ached and her throat felt painfully tight. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come.

Maggie couldn’t forget the anguished look on her father’s face when he’d read the news. Her father had collapsed on the nearest chair and cried bitter, pain-filled tears. When her father’s emotions had sent him into paroxysms of coughing, Maggie had called for Miguel to help him to bed. Medication had finally brought her father the relief of sleep.

Several hours had passed, and Maggie couldn’t believe how quiet the house had grown. Usually the muffled sounds of Maria singing in the kitchen or Carmalita talking excitedly about her upcoming wedding to Miguel filled the house.

Maggie lifted the letter again. It had been penned more than a week earlier by Lillie Johnston Philips. Lillie had always loved Sophia as her own grandmother. She told Maggie that Sophia had died peacefully in her sleep. Lillie, nearly four months a bride, had helped her parents arrange for the burial services, despite the fact she had discovered she was in a family way.

Maggie smiled at Lillie’s reference to the new life she carried. One life ended and another began. And in her father’s bedroom, still another life hung in the balance.

Maggie noted that her grandmother had been buried the same day she and her father had resolved their differences. Perhaps her grandmother had sensed an end to the painful past and knew she could go to heaven unhampered by regrets and worries. Maggie smiled at the thought of her grandmother walking the streets of heaven and enjoying the company of many old friends.

“Heavenly Father,” Maggie prayed. “I thank You for the years I shared with Grandmother. I’ll miss her very much, but I know she’s safe and happy, and for now, that seems enough. Please be with Father. He isn’t strong enough to bear much more, and I’m not ready to let go of him. Help me to prepare for his passing, and please don’t let him suffer. In Jesus’ name, amen.” When she finished praying, Maggie felt a great peace that gave her the strength to go on.

Later that afternoon, another letter was placed in Maggie’s hands. Even though she had never seen Garrett’s handwriting before, she knew the letter was from him. Retreating to the privacy of her bedroom, she tore open the envelope. Her heart beat faster as she read his greeting.

My beloved Maggie,

A tremendous burden has been lifted. I was just told of your reconciliation with Jason, and your acceptance of Jesus as Savior. I want to shout for joy. I know how you have struggled with God over the years. I know it was never easy to see God as the loving Father He is. Now, however, I desire more than ever to share my life with you and grow together in the love He has given us.

The letter continued, and Maggie drank in each word. Every sentence was exactly what she’d longed to hear. She read Garrett’s words of love and pledges of lifelong devotion. How it thrilled her to see each cherished promise and know without doubt that he loved her. Maggie’s one disappoint
ment was Garrett didn’t give a specific time when he would return. She fold
ed the letter and tucked it into her skirt pocket to read again later.

Even though it was the beginning of October and the afternoons no longer held the intense heat of summer, Maggie had grown accustomed to siesta. After checking on her father, she decided to stretch out and take a nap.

Nearly two hours later, Carmalita urgently woke Maggie.

“Maggie, Maggie! Come quickly. Your father is very ill.” The fear in Carmalita’s voice left Maggie shaken. She ran after Carmalita to where Jason Intissar lay vomiting blood.

“Carmalita, what are we going to do?” Maggie cried. She held her father’s bony shoulders steady as another spell of coughing began.

“We can send Miguel for the doctor,” Carmalita offered.

“Then do it, and tell him to go quickly!” Maggie exclaimed. “And Carmalita. . .”

“Sí?” Carmalita answered, pausing in the doorway.

“You’d better get a couple of ranch hands—men my father is fond of. I’m going to need help until Miguel and the doctor get here.”

“Right away,” Carmalita replied and quickly left the room.

Maggie turned her attention back to her father. “Father, is the cough passing?”

“I think so. Let me lay back on the pillows.” Jason’s voice was barely audible.

Maggie eased her father back. Her father seemed oblivious to any comfort the new position offered. He strained for each breath, and Maggie fought the urge to run from the room.

To get her mind off her father’s ragged breathing, Maggie began clean
ing up the area around his bed. Carmalita returned and took over the clean
ing, urging Maggie to care for her father.

Maggie sat stroking her father’s balding head. She dipped a cloth in cool water and began to wipe away blood stains from his face.

“We came as quick as we could, Ma’am.”

Maggie looked up to find the compassionate eyes of Bill, her father’s trusted foreman. Behind him stood a young man she’d never met.

“This here is Mack’s little brother, Rob,” Bill explained. Maggie offered a brief smile to the shy, sandy-haired young man.

“Thank you both for coming. Father’s been taken by quite a bad spell this time. I sent Miguel for the doctor, but I know I’ll need help with him before they return,” she whispered. Her father’s labored breathing became even louder, and Maggie could barely concentrate on what she was saying.

“No problem, Ma’am. I’d give my life for Mr. Jason. He’s been a right good boss and friend,” Bill said, lowering his eyes to the dusty hem of his jeans. Rob remained silent.

“Bill, I think Father would rest better if we could prop him up. I can’t lift him, but if you and Rob could help me, we might get the job done.”

“Sure thing, Miss Maggie.” Bill’s voice held the devoted enthusiasm Maggie needed to hear. Together, the three worked to ease Jason into a more comfortable position.

The hours wore on, and Maggie felt encouraged as her father’s breathing became less ragged. She dozed in a chair, and only when the clock chimed midnight did she agree to turn in.

Maggie started to slip into bed fully clothed. There seemed little sense in undressing. What if her father grew suddenly worse? Carmalita would hear nothing of it.

“No one will care if you appear at your father’s bedside in your robe. But you need your rest,” Carmalita said, taking charge of Maggie as if she were a child.

“But,” Maggie started to protest.

“You’ll sleep much better in your nightgown, and you’ll need all your strength.” Carmalita finished pulling Maggie’s blood-stained dress over her head and replaced it with a fresh cotton nightgown.

“I’ll have Bill wake me if your father wakes up or gets any worse.” Carmalita said, blowing out the candle. Maggie wanted to argue, but her mind wouldn’t make sense of the situation. Reluctantly, she fell back against her pillow and slept.

The first crimson rays of the late fall sun were peeking over the mountaintops when Maggie woke with a start. Remembering her father, she threw back the covers, pulled on her robe, and raced down the hallway.

When she opened the door, Maggie was surprised to find Dr. Avery leaning over her father. He looked up as Maggie entered the room.

“Good morning, Miss Intissar,” he said in his deep, rumbling voice. “I’ve been here for about an hour.”

“I wanted to check. . . I mean, how is he?” Maggie asked in a nervous whisper.

“He’s sleeping. I’ve given him morphine,” Dr. Avery informed her.

“Morphine? What’s that?” Maggie asked. Finding her courage, she drew closer to her father’s bed.

“It’s a drug that will take your father’s pain away and help him to sleep. Your father is a very sick man, Miss Intissar, but of course you know this.”

“Yes, I do. I want the truth, though. Is he going to die? I mean right away, today?” Maggie’s voice betrayed the pain of her heart.

“I can’t be certain, but I don’t look for him to leave this bed again,” Dr. Avery said with finality. Maggie’s knees weakened. Her face turned ashen as the meaning of the doctor’s words sank in.

“I’m sorry, Miss Intissar,” the doctor said, helping Maggie to a chair. “You must be strong. You’ll not be any good to him this way.”

“I know,” Maggie whispered. “But it seems so unfair. I just found him, and now I will lose him once more.” Dr. Avery turned back to his medical bag.

“I am going to leave enough morphine powder so you can give it to him regularly. He won’t be in his right mind while on the medicine, but he won’t hurt either,” the doctor explained matter-of-factly. “Should I instruct Maria about the dosing?”

“Please, that would be best,” Maggie said, recognizing that she herself wouldn’t remember any instructions.

“I’ll be leaving, then. There’s nothing more I can do. I’ve been with your father through the thick and thin of this illness. We both knew it would come
to this. I must tell you, Miss Intissar, your father has faced his illness brave
ly, always insisting on the truth no matter how bad the news. He’s been a good friend, and I will miss him sorely when he’s gone.” Dr. Avery’s rock solid voice broke.

Tears fell unbidden down Maggie’s cheeks. What a beautiful memorial to the man who lay dying. “Thank you, Dr. Avery. Thank you for being his friend, and thank you for coming to care for him once more. I’ll let you know when it’s over.” Maggie got to her feet. “Forgive me for not walking with you to the kitchen, but I want to stay with my father.”

“I understand, Miss Intissar,” Dr. Avery said, turning to leave. “If it’s any comfort,” he added, “your father won’t know what’s happening. He won’t feel the pain, and he won’t strain to breathe.”

Maggie gently stroked her father’s icy hand. “Thank you. Thank you
so much.”