Trent (Redemption Romance Book 4) (15 page)

"Trent?" Amber's voice was hesitant - worried. I was sure I looked crazed, but there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about that. It was hard enough to tell her about some of my failings, but to have her delve in, to try and analyze me, to have her look deeper into it all, I couldn't do it, not now. Not now that I brought my dad to her doorstep, now that I put her in danger from the man who'd abused my mom and sister for years.

"I need a minute - yeah?" Maybe she was right all those months ago. Maybe she was better off without me. I caused her pain, possibly the greatest pain of her life. I didn't know how she could even stand to look at me now, let alone love me.

"Okay, be careful." She said, sadness and worry evident in her voice. I didn't look at her, didn't allow myself to. I knew that I'd stop myself, that I would take her into my arms. that I'd love her and promise her everything, just to remove that look from her face. I needed, this time, needed the space to breathe.

Pulling into one of my secured parking spaces at my condo, I climbed out of the truck and thoughtlessly made it to the front door. Out of habit, I'd grabbed the stack of mail waiting for me and dumped it on the table in the entry way.

My blood had turned cold, my heart stilled in my chest. All feeling had fled, and I moved through the empty space without seeing anything. When I bought it, I had a pretty short leave, so Mom had come in and had it furnished and decorated it for me. It was nice. A tasteful and masculine space where I had always felt comforted before. My place was free of clutter. There were no feminine accouterments, all dark blues, beige, and warm wood tones. There was nothing of Amber here, nothing to remind me of her since she only stayed there a few nights over all the time we dated.

Standing in front of the stocked bar, I looked at the bottles of amber liquid and remembered the last time I got seriously drunk. I called Gavin that night to drive my ass home. That was the night I admitted my feelings for Amber, the night I shared so much of my pain with my best friend.

He already knew. I couldn't keep it from him, Gavin was not a stupid man by any means. He had known that I had feelings for Amber, even knew that I had dated her. Thankfully, he hadn't known everything and still didn't.

With arms resting on the gleaming, polished marble top, I lowered my head and closed my eyes. I just left Amber. While I was in the process of escaping her house, of running from her, the way I promised I would never do, I left her, scared and alone - vulnerable.

She was terrible with the security system, which she blamed me for.

"The codes are too long," she'd said, "This system is ridiculous," her voice rang in my ears, remembering her irritation at the seven and eight digit codes. She was right, it was ridiculous, but her safety had been my biggest concern. My father was a smart man, and he knew me too well. I had worried that he would be able to figure out whatever codes I came up with, just by sheer coincidence.

I just left her - my sweetness, my Amber, the love of my life. I left her alone and exposed. I wondered if she would remember to set the alarm. No calls had come through to me, so she hadn't set it off, which was something.

I'd just left her. Left her. Left.

The press of a damp nose and furry chin onto my cheek roused me from the shocked stupor I'd been existing in since watching Trent walk out. The house was dark and something was beeping from the direction of my bedroom. Out of habit, I glanced at the clock on the cable box, but it was dark.

"Damnit!" Jumping up and down on one foot. I reached down and cradled my stubbed toe, squeezing it, like that would help. Snowball ran over and brushed himself against my leg and sent me falling backward. Bracing myself, I cushioned the fall but twisted my wrist on the way down.

Since it was impossible to hold my right toe and left hand, I decided to figure out how to push forward. The beeping sound was intensifying, and it was really annoying.

Of course, my phone had just enough battery life to allow me to read the "Alarm System Power Failure" message flashing in red on my screen and emitting the annoying noise. Disabling the app, I switched over to the text screen, taking note that it was just past midnight.

Mom was a light sleeper and would hear the text notification, but it wouldn't wake Dad.

Amber: Coming over, power is out here. Don't worry.

Not even three minutes later, she replied:

Mom: Ok - be safe.

After grabbing my purse, keys and mostly dead phone, I scooped Snowball up into my arms and slid into flip flops then headed out.

Preparing to turn away from my street, I glanced back in the rearview and noticed something strange. Instead of heading directly to my parents' I circled the block to confirm - my house appeared to be the only one without power.

Initially, I thought that it had come back on, but no, my house was completely dark, no light anywhere, where all the other houses had some kind of light showing through the dark night.

Not wanting to think too long about that, I cranked up
Stained
on my stereo, tossed my phone into my open bag and worked hard to bury the emotion threatening to cripple me as Snowball curled up on the center console next to me. He was able to read my moods anytime I was upset, he stayed right with me - always.

Trent had left me - my power was out, my alarm disabled - and Trent had left me.

I sat alone for hours after he slammed my front door closed behind his rapidly departing back. I was waiting for him to return and knowing he wouldn't. I asked too much, had probed too deep. He shut me down, shut me out, closed me off from his deepest feelings of guilt and pain.

Trent took everything onto his shoulders. Everything, was his fault, his responsibility and it seemed he'd been that way a long time. I understood that, to an extent. I had felt it important to make him see that the shit that happened in the war, whatever his dad had done, none of it was his fault. He'd internalized all that, but he didn't want me there, not in that deep.

Shaking myself out of my sad thoughts, knowing I needed to appear pulled together for my mother, I hit the button on my steering wheel to change over to Nickelback's, "Rockstar" and pressed down on the pedal.

The thirty-minute drive to my parents' stunningly beautiful home only took twenty, thanks to the lack of traffic and my speed. As my headlights illuminated the front of the house, I noticed the light in the living room was on. I knew that my mom was waiting up for me.

"Amber, sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked in her overly worried tone.

"I'm fine mom, just lost power and the alarm was beeping, which woke me up." I hoped that she wouldn't see any more than fatigue in my eyes.

Taking Snowball from my arms, she snuggled him close as she would a grandbaby, a grandbaby I'd never be able to give her and led me to my old room.

My childhood bedroom had been redecorated since I last lived there. The once pink walls were now a soft yellow. The white lace canopy bed had been replaced with a beautiful mahogany sleigh bed covered by a soft blue duvet decorated with the smallest yellow daisies. The high ceiling, wide windows, and beautiful wood floor were perfectly clean, polished and inviting.

After hugging Mom and promising that all was well, she left me to sleep. Snowball pressed tightly to my side as I lay in the darkness and waited for peace to come. Sadly, it didn't.

Wondering where Trent had gone, what he was doing, if he would come back caused the tears I had been fighting to come back and flood my eyes. As they began to fall, I felt a rough little tongue bathing my arm, trying to bring me comfort.

Keeping my sobs silent was more difficult than it should have been, but each time I began to calm another image, a thought would pop into my head, and the tears would fall again.

As the soft rays of morning began to shine through the cracks in the plantation shutters, I made my way into the adjoining bathroom and showered.

Thankfully, in my haste to leave, I grabbed my favorite lavender wrap dress and silver sandals. I needed something beautiful today. I took special care with my hair and makeup, putting on my bravest face, only showing the world what they wanted to see. I was a happy-go-lucky woman without a care in the world.

Snowball in hand, I walked down the stairs knowing that my mother would already be up and ready for her day. Finding her perfectly primped in the kitchen was no surprise.

"Good morning, darling, sleep well?"

"Hey mom, can you keep Snow for me today?"

She agreed and took the squirming ball of fluff from my hands. As any grandma would, she kept spare supplies for him in the laundry room. I heard her talking to him as the box of food was poured into his bowl.

"Why are you up so early?"

"I'm going to go to the store early, I've got a lot to do today," I lied. I was going to work, but I didn't have all that much to do. I knew I could work on paperwork for a while and wanted to move around a couple of displays before the store opened.

Indulgence was Aurora's baby, her brainchild, but as a silent partner, it was my responsibility too. Today, I would use the store to forget my own problems. It was a challenge, but I forced my thoughts away from Trent every time he entered my mind - which was every minute or so. Getting busy would help.

"Hey, early bird, what are you doing here already?" Gillian asked from behind the coffee counter at Cafe Fantasia.

"Lots to do, how are you?"

Since the shop was busy with the morning rush, we exchanged quick pleasantries. Gillian promised that she would be down later. Something had happened in the past few days, and she needed to talk.

Smiling, as I walked back to the store, coffee and muffin in hand, was like second-nature to me. I was the queen of covering pain with a smile.

Working through receipts and receivables for the first hour, I set aside some information on a new line from one of the designers we loved.

Indulgence specialized in mid-high end pieces from somewhat obscure designers. We carried clothes that a multitude of women could wear, quality pieces that had great lines and perfect fit. I loved, to help women feel beautiful. Nothing in our store could easily be found in one of the big box stores around the area. Our clothes were beautifully unique.

Grabbing a couple of armfuls from the back, some stock that had just come in, I walked out front and began to rearrange the racks. Just as I picked up a display of fashion necklaces, a loud pounding came from the back door.

"Shit," I gasped as the shelf slipped from my hand. Thankfully, when it hit the ground, nothing broke, but necklaces were in a tangled heap between my feet.

"Amber!" The pounding on the door started up again.

"Amber, please!" I heard shouted again.

Jesus, the neighbors, were going to be terrified at this rate.

Scooping up the mess, I plopped it all on the front counter and walked hesitantly to the stockroom. Though I knew who it was, I peered through the peephole. Staring at him through the small, distorted circle, my breath caught at the sight of him.

Placing a hand on the door, I watched as he rested his head against the steel. It was so like the night I'd locked him out and sent him away, I had to fight the tears again.

Turning the lock, I pulled the door open and looked at him in the clear light of morning. He looked like total shit. His blonde hair was mussed, the skin under his eyes dark, his clothes were rumpled. He looked like he hadn't slept. The black button-down shirt he wore was haphazardly tucked into dark washed jeans over his black boots. His jeans were unusually wrinkled, and one leg seemed to be half tucked into the back of his boot. Trent's black leather belt, which usually held his service weapon and badge was circled around his waist, but missing half the loops.

I rarely saw him so unkempt. His eyes were wild, searching my face and scanning my body frantically, looking for what? I wasn't sure.

"Thank God, thank God, I found you." Lunging forward, he grabbed my shoulders and tugged me hard into his chest, pulling me so quickly I lost balance and collided with him. His hands were everywhere, holding me tight, pressing my face into him, running over my arms and back. His movements were manic.

Trying to step back, to look at him, I struggled against him. Though feeling him again, after a long and arduous night was magnificent, I wasn't about to brush the previous night under the rug so quickly. I worried that the walls he threw up would keep him away from me, that he wouldn't want to come back, but here he was, holding me once again. Could I accept him back with no explanation? I knew what I did, or rather, what he was upset about. The thing was, I hadn't done anything wrong. I cared about him and wanted him to be free of his unrealistic guilt. Was that so bad?

Finally, able to gain enough space, I tilted my head up and looked into his sorrowful blue eyes. Those eyes that were so often full of love, humor and joy were now dull, the mischievous twinkle was absent.

"What's wrong?" Total confusion had taken over. He hadn't called me. Suddenly I remembered that my phone had been on low battery the night before, and I hadn't plugged it in. When I allowed myself to think about it, I assumed that he hadn't called.

"Your house, you weren't, and your phone, you didn't, and no one knew where you were."

Trying to make sense of his rambling, I tried to explain, "My power went out, and I think my phone is dead."

"I know, but you were gone, and I couldn't get ahold of you, I thought something happened, that-"

"I went to my parents' house." My explanation was short and clipped. I felt the anger and maybe even a little resentment rise up in my stomach. This was a man who wanted everything from me, down to the smallest detail of my life but wasn't able to even let me talk to him about my concerns for him.

Letting out a relieved sigh, he leaned down bringing his mouth inches from mine and peered deep into my eyes.

"Amber, I fucked up last night, I made a huge mistake, I'm sorry. Please, can I kiss you?"

"What did you do?" If he was with another woman, though I couldn't imagine him doing that, we'd be over. That was one thing I could never abide by, and never had.

"I left you at home, alone. I was so defensive, so stupid. Please, sweetness, let me kiss you. Please, let me make it up to you."

My heart melted instantly as the anger I had been feeling only seconds before drained out of my body. His pleading and heartfelt words were all I needed to forgive him. I for one understood needing time.

Straining my lips to his, I touched his mouth gently, and as I began to separate from him, he pulled me close and took my mouth. The kiss was ravaging, pleading and desperate and seemed like it would never end. It lasted so long, was so mind boggling that we didn't break apart until a loud masculine voice was heard behind Trent.

"Well, son, this is interesting."

Trent's entire body stiffened against me, and a low growl erupted from his throat. A hand on each of my shoulders once again, he made sure I was steady, then spun to face the older man I'd seen at my front door.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course. When I didn't find you at Amber's house, or at the sheriff's office, I thought I'd check here." The sinister grin on his smarmy mouth was off. After what Trent had told me the night before, I could see the underlying evil in the man's dark green eyes. Joseph Harris was tall, but not even close to Trent's six-five, he was pretty fit, though age and probably over indulgence had thickened his middle and age lines were visible on his face. Joseph's hair was strawberry blonde, mixed liberally with white. From the pictures I'd seen of Trent's sister Natalie, she seemed to take after their father more than Trent did. Joseph was attractive on the surface, but underneath it all, I sensed an ugly, darkness.

"You need to stay away from Amber, don't ever come near her again. Not her house, her work, far away." I moved to the side and could see the deep scowl on Trent's handsome face. I saw anger there, a resentment I hadn't ever witnessed before. Trent's usually laid back and jovial manner was long gone, replaced by a fierce defender.

"Come on son, no need to act like that. Introduce me to your little lady here." Joseph's demeanor was unusually pleasant, overly friendly for the situation. His huge smile didn't brighten his face or lighten his eyes as Trent's did, the man was clearly as fake as they came.