Trial by Fire (18 page)

Lachlan met him there, not saying a word that might push him over the edge. The man just took the keys from Holden’s hand and steered him toward the passenger side.

He climbed up into the truck, just about as numb as could be.

Lachlan put one hand on his leg for a moment, then started up the truck to take him home to Chloe.

That’s what he needed. Home.

They parked by his kitchen door, and Lachlan came around to let him out, then grabbed him and held on, hugging him hard.

Holden began to sob—for Crazy, for Addie, for Landon, and for his own cracked heart. He thought he might die himself, the pain was so bad, but Lachlan held him up, solid and steady as a rock.

No bad storm could last, and this one didn’t either. He wiped his eyes and stepped back, nodding. “Thank you.”

“No worries. It’s been a long damned week.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Come in?”
Please?

“Sure, Lofty.” Lachlan took his hand, fingers twining with his, sharing strength.

The smell of enchiladas and salsa and homemade tortillas hit him, and it was like coming home—which was handy, given that this was his house, his land. Still, it felt so good to hear Maria singing “Volver” in the kitchen, then pushing into “El Rey.”

He smiled and headed in to start hot water for Lachlan. He didn’t have a kettle like Momma did, but he could boil the fuck out of a tea bag with the best of them.

Maria came to hug him the moment she saw him. “He rests now,
sí
? I make
té
for Mr. Lachlan.”

“Aw, thanks, Maria. I appreciate it.” Lachlan gave Maria a gentle hug when she turned to him. “You’re a star.”

“Your sister, she was good. You are too.”

Yeah. Holden looked around. “Dez abandon you?”

Maria smiled. “He is asleep in the den with Chloe.”

“Ah. Sweet.” He grabbed his coffee and sat. “Everything went real good, Mama. He’s been put to rest with the family.”

Christian and the others would have to forgive him for not staying to be social.

“Are they all at the big house?” she asked, and he nodded.

“You should go and see everyone. They’re all worried about you. I got it under control here.”

She came over, patted his shoulder, her expression fond and warm. “My
lobo solitario
.”

“Ah, it ain’t that. I’m just wore.” He’d been rode hard, and he wasn’t even sure he’d been put away yet, wet or not.

“All of the food is ready. Just take it out of the oven and serve it. Here is your tea, Mr. Lachlan. I will be back at five.” Maria took off her apron and waved on her way out the door.

“She’s a force of nature.” Lachlan looked a little stunned.

“Yeah. She was our nanny, and I’m pretty sure she’s Momma’s best friend.”

“With her on my team, I could rule the world.” Lachlan chuckled and took a sip of tea. “Hey, this is good.”

“Rock on.” He looked at the stove—the beans were waiting, the tortillas, but he wasn’t hungry. “Thanks for staying last night. I don’t usually tear it up like that.”

Of course, he didn’t usually fall in love with his brother’s wife’s kin from the other side of the world and bury his godfather either.

“You needed me.” Lachlan watched him, blue eyes unreadable.

He could feel his cheeks heat, and he wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was embarrassment or shame. “It was a bad night.”

God, what did he say? If he asked how long Lachlan was intending to stay, was that going to push the man away faster? Should he want that? For it to be fast, like tugging off a Band-Aid? Was it okay to want to pretend a couple more days that this was going to be something, that he wasn’t going to be looking into a long road of missing Lachlan? Shit. Maybe he needed to go out and ride, round up his mustangs and watch them for a couple of hours, see if the lead male had culled the females and made that little buckskin start his own herd.

Lachlan turned his mug round and round. “I know it’s been a hell of a thing, and if you need me to wait I can, but I got something I need to say.”

“Go for it.” Band-Aid ripping it was. Holden was a cowboy. He could take it.

“Well, first off, I won’t let anyone take Chloe from you. You’re her dad now, and she needs you.” Lachlan met his gaze head-on now, and there was something in that expression, something that caught Holden and held tight.

“I am. I know folks might not understand, but she ain’t never going to remember them. They trusted me to raise her up, and I’ll be her daddy ’til the end of time.”

Lachlan nodded, moving two steps closer. “I thought a lot about what you said, Holden, and I think you were right.”

“About what?” He’d talked more in the last couple three days….

“We could do this. Together. God knows I’m no bargain. You see what happens when people hear my family is involved, and I gave up my personal security years ago….”

“I don’t… I don’t understand. What changed, honey?” Holden spread his hands, trying to make sense of it all.

“I wasn’t saying no the other day. I was just overwhelmed.” Lachlan reached out to touch his arm. “Adelaide told me what to do, though, and I’m ready to listen.”

“She’s a good woman. She loved him, you know, but Landon? Landon would have stolen the world to give it to her. He saw her and knew it was right.”

“She said he was magic. That this place was too. I think she was dead-on.” Lachlan finally pulled him close, chest against his. “As mad as it is, I want to try.”

A thousand thoughts zipped through his head, so fast and fleeting he couldn’t have snatched them if he’d tried. He wanted… well, he’d done said what he wanted, hadn’t he?

He wanted Lachlan. He wanted to believe.

The knock on the kitchen door surprised him, but nowhere near as much as the sight of Lachlan’s folks standing there, staring at them through the door.

Fuck a duck sideways.

They weren’t never going to get a chance, were they?

LACHLAN
bit back a vicious curse. Jesus fucking Christ, why did the oldies have such amazing timing? They had bloody radar.

He stepped back, letting Holden decide whether to let them in.

Holden chuckled softly, the sound wry. “Hopefully there’s still tea enough for them. Come on in, y’all.”

“Thank you.” His dad ushered Mum in, hand under her elbow. “We’re so sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you. There’s food if y’all want it.”

His parents kept looking at him, vaguely shocked and disturbed. Lachlan just stared back this time. He would do what Ades couldn’t. He wasn’t running, he was making a dead set stand.

“We promised your parents we’d stop there and eat. We came to speak with you, Holden.”

Lachlan grunted. “Why?” he asked before Holden could even blink.

“I still want to discuss options with him.” Mum sounded like she was about to cry. “I won’t lose track of her like we did Adelaide.”

Holden sighed, but he sounded sad more than impatient. “Why don’t y’all sit? Maria made tea.”

Lachlan gritted his teeth, but he could see Holden was being polite. Still, he intended to make a few things clear right off. “He’s her legal guardian, Mum. No custody discussions.”

“We just want….”

Holden shook his head. “This isn’t about what we want. What we want is for Addie and Landon to be sitting here, happy and whole, but that ain’t happening. What they wanted was for me to raise Chloe, so I intend to do it. No six months away from me, no private schools. She’ll grow up a kid—horses and dance lessons and cheerleading and rodeos.”

“But—”

“No.” Lachlan slapped his hand on the table. “That’s enough. Adelaide left, and do you know why?” He stared down his parents, knowing they meant well, but that they had no other frame of reference but the one they’d worked with all their lives. “She hated having security. She hated never being alone, never being allowed to do a bloody thing without every moment being weighed and measured. I won’t do that to my baby girl.”

“You don’t understand, Lachlan! You don’t understand how you have to protect your children! You know what it’s like out there!” They were yelling and going on, but what he saw was Holden, looking at him. Staring at him.

Holden had heard him.

His dad drew a deep breath. “Now, Son, I’m telling you—”

“You don’t tell me!” Lachlan roared, jumping to his feet, his chair clattering. “I’m the head of this family and this corporation, damn it, and we’re gonna start doing this my way.”

He hated the hurt that slid over his mum’s and dad’s faces, but they’d get over it when they understood Chloe would be in Oz half the year, at least. With him and Holden.

“So, what? You’re going to run away and join the circus like your sister? You see where that ended her.” Dad’s cheeks blazed, his lips tight. “You believe that you two can, what? Be some rodeo pride outfit?”

“You daft buggers woke the baby.” Dez came in with Chloe, popped her into Holden’s arms.

“Dez!” His mum went pale, then flushed bright red. She did hate when their dirty laundry got aired out in front of other people. “Tell him! You’re his security detail, lad. We have a certain obligation to keep Chloe safe.”

Dez shook his head, crossing his arms across his barrel chest. “Not my job, Mother McCoughey.”

“Pardon me?”

“Don’t misunderstand, I’ll come when he calls, but I’m not interested in following his arse around the universe while he learns to be a daddy.”

Lachlan almost burst out laughing, but he held it back, because he knew he was winning this war. “What Holden and I do is our business, really. You can approve or not, but know this. When we’re at the station with Chloe, you’ll be polite, or you’ll stay somewhere else.” The ultimatum had to hurt, but so be it.

“That’s our home!” Dad’s eyes went so wide he looked like a cartoon.

“Y’all. Y’all, please. Can’t you just trust that I ain’t going to disappear—either with your son or your grandgirl? For fuck’s sake, I always answer my damn phone if I have signal.”

Lachlan gave Holden a grateful smile, one meant for him alone. Then he reached for his mum’s hand.

“I love you both. So much. I really do. But I have a chance at something here I’m not willing to give up in the name of responsibility or propriety or whatever. I hope you can give this a chance.”

“I want to be a part of her life!” Mum said, tears forming.

“Oh, Granny, you are.” Holden laughed, and the sound made Chloe jump and flail. “You are. I won’t deny her y’all. She loves you already. I just cain’t do without her. Maybe when she’s a teenager….”

Dad snorted. “Don’t even think it. I raised two of those, and I’m an old man, now.”

“See? You only want her when it’s fun.” Lachlan winked at Mum. “She’s going to be in Oz half the year, at least. Now, I reckon this Christmas you’ll have to come here, as much as this family has been through, but we’ll trade off.” He had grand plans all of a sudden, and such joy in the wake of all the sorrow.

Holden shot him a shocked look, and he knew, he knew they had things to discuss, but he also believed that this was right.

Dad nodded slowly. “As long as you’re willing to let us be a part of it, Son. This is a bit of a shock, you’ll have to allow.”

“Bah. You’ve known he was queer for years and years,” Dez said. “You’ll survive.”

Lachlan couldn’t fight his laugh for anything, not even when Mum gasped in sheer horror. He needed the laughter to relieve the stress built up inside him or he’d stroke out, and what good would that do anyone?

None, because he’d just come out, agreed to raise a child with another man, and had basically agreed to live in the States half time.

Stroking out now seemed anticlimactic.

His dad lifted Mum out of her chair. “Thanks for the tea, Holden. I think we’ll go see your parents and eat something. Let all this sink in. Son.” Dad nodded.

“I’ll come by Ades’s house later and we’ll talk,” Lachlan agreed.

“Tell Miss Chloe good-bye, huh?” Holden stood and they both took a kiss.

His mum was crying when she left, but Lachlan could only feel so bad about that.

“You want something, man?” Holden was asking Dez. “Enchiladas? Beans? Tortilla?”

“I’ll take a plate, sure. I imagine you two have a lot to talk about, so I can get it takeaway.” Dez met Lachlan’s eyes, the look serious, sure. “You and me, we have things to discuss too.”

Shit. That sounded ominous, but Dez was the oldest friend he still had. He could handle it. “Tomorrow, then?”

“Me and the stubborn one will be here—9:00 a.m. okay?”

“Sure, mate.” Stubborn? Ryan, maybe. They had something going on. “See you then.”

Dez nodded, then loaded a plate of food up. “Call if you need me. I’ll be at Ades’s house.”

“I think we can manage.” In fact, he intended to go one better than manage.

Holden grabbed two plates, handed him one. Once Dez left them, they filled their plates, Lachlan following Holden’s lead because he wasn’t at all sure what everything was.

Chloe was in her little bouncy seat thing, watching them and chewing on her fist. It was domestic and quiet and… odd.

“I’m sorry the folks did that today of all days,” he finally said, and it felt strange, apologizing for his folks. He guessed that was what happened when a man became a couple.

Holden shrugged, staring at his plate. “So you meant it? I mean, this isn’t a… whim?”

“I meant it.” Lachlan sat at the table once more, waiting for Holden’s butt to touch down. “I know what I want, Holden.”

“Yeah?” God, Holden was a beautiful son of a bitch, dark and fine, those eyes like holes burnt in a blanket, they were so big in his face right now.

“I was—” Hell, he’d been crazed with all the demands, all the confusion. “I let everything else get to me, but I knew when you asked that I wanted to say yes.”

“I shouldn’t have put you on the spot. I panicked—not about wanting you, but about… everything.”

He could see that. They’d been through a trial by fire. By a bunch of them.

In a row.

“My oldies will do that to a man.” There was so much Holden needed to know. “It won’t be all hearts and roses. We go to Oz the first time, there will probably be cameras and news stories and more than a few slurs.”