Trial By Fire (Schooled in Magic Book 7) (25 page)

“Oh,” Caleb said. “Emily...?”

Emily turned to face him, feeling her heartbeat suddenly starting to race.

“I had a good time today,” Caleb said. He seemed to be looking anywhere, but at her. “Did you?”

“I did,” Emily said. She blinked in surprise. He was suddenly very close. “I...”

Caleb took her in his arms and kissed her. For a long moment, Emily was too stunned to move. Jade had kissed her, but it had been different.
Caleb
was different. His lips felt warm, yet demanding; his arms felt strong and firm.

It felt good. She felt as if she trusted him, maybe that she wanted to go further...

And then she panicked. Shoving his arms away, she turned and ran.

C
ALEB CALLED HER NAME, BUT SHE
ignored him as she tore through deserted corridors, unsure if she was running from him or her own treacherous feelings. She had
liked
the kiss; she had
wanted
the kiss...and yet, the mere thought of kissing Caleb frightened her. She wanted to go back, to apologize, to have him kiss her again, but she also wanted to flee to her room and hide. Her mother had warned her, time and time again, never to trust her feelings. Emily hadn’t understood what she’d meant until now.

It wasn’t normal. She
knew
it wasn’t normal. But she was torn between wanting to embrace her feelings and throwing them out of her body and soul. She
liked
Caleb; he was smart, funny and caring, not aggressive or unpleasant. And yet, men could change in the wink of an eye. No doubt her mother had loved her new husband until he’d shown his true colors...

She came to a halt and stumbled against the wall, clinging to the dark stone for strength. The school seemed to be humming, a dull throbbing running through the wards that seemed...
off
, somehow, but it was hard to focus when her mind was so confused. She wanted Caleb, yet she didn’t trust herself to maintain control...and part of her just wanted to surrender to the wellspring of feeling within her. It was a nightmare...

But Imaiqah has had dozens of boyfriends
, her own thoughts mocked her.
How does she do it
?

“Emily?”

She looked up to see Frieda staring at her, alarm written over the younger girl’s face. It took everything Emily had to straighten up, to draw on reserves of strength she didn’t know she possessed, just so she could let go of the wall. The corridor seemed to spin around her - for a moment, she was convinced she’d been hexed in the back - and then straightened out. Frieda ran forward, caught her arm and stared into her eyes.

“Emily,” she asked. “What happened?”

“Caleb kissed me,” Emily said, numbly.

Frieda stared at her. “Caleb kissed you and...what did he do?”

It slowly dawned on Emily that Frieda thought Caleb had done something utterly unforgivable. She’d grown up in the mountains; she’d have known, from a very early age, both the facts of life and how unpleasant life could become if the wrong person took a fancy to you. Without magic, the youngest daughter of a family that was already too large would be lucky if she wasn’t sold to the highest bidder, who might well be a pimp at the nearest brothel. Or the lord’s youngest son, seeking a mistress...

“He kissed me,” Emily repeated. Frieda looked doubtful. “He kissed me and I liked it.”

Frieda looked at her as if she’d started speaking in tongues. “He kissed you and you
liked
it?”

There was something in her voice, something wrong. But Emily barely noticed.

“Yes,” Emily said. She twisted until she was leaning against the wall. “I
liked
it.”

“Emily,” Frieda said. She sounded...
upset
. “You liked it?”

Emily stared at her. Were they talking about different things?

“Yes, I did,” she said. “I just...feel strange.”

Frieda let out a strangled sound, then turned and ran. Emily stared after her, completely confused. She knew why she’d run from Caleb, but why had Frieda run from
her
? Had the thought of Emily kissing someone - anyone - shocked her? Or...

“It isn’t nice for a Fourth Year to bully a Second Year,” an all-too-familiar voice said. Emily slowly turned to look as Master Grey emerged from the shadows. She’d been so upset that she hadn’t even known she’d run past his office. “Detention, Lady Emily. Go get that tacky ballroom gown off, and report to Lady Barb. I’m sure she will have something unpleasant for you to do.”

Emily clenched her fists, feeling a wave of cold fury that threatened to break through what was left of her control. Master Grey was smirking slightly, his eyes flickering over her; she had to grit her teeth to keep from saying something she knew would get her into even worse trouble. Caleb had kissed her, Frieda had run from her...and she still had to remain calm, to put her stress on the back burner. The charitable part of her mind noted that it was a lesson she needed to learn, but the rest of her found it hard to care. She’d never had to cope with her own body betraying her...

But that’s not true
, her own thoughts countered.
Your body changed without your consent
.

“Go,” Master Grey ordered. “Unless, of course, you want to serve your detention with me, personally?”

“No, thank you,” Emily ground out. Lady Barb would probably have some mind-numbing task for her to do, something that would keep her from having to think. “I’ll go to Lady Barb.”

She forced herself to walk away slowly, despite the growing urge to run. Master Grey’s gaze bored into her as she walked, sending chills down her spine. By the time she had walked around the corner and up a flight of stairs, sweat was running down her back. The sensation that someone was preparing to stick a knife in her back was almost overpowering. She walked past a young boy who was tapping his ear with his finger, probably as the result of a curse, then towards the entrance to the dorms. Thankfully, it was unguarded; everyone was either at Dragon’s Den or watching the match. She opened the door to her room and stepped inside, feeling her control start to snap as the door closed behind her. And then she saw Alassa, working at her desk.

“You’re back early,” Alassa said. She looked up. “What happened?”

Emily glanced in the mirror. Her eyes were wide and staring, her dress was disheveled and her hair had fallen out of its ponytail. No
wonder
Frieda had thought the worst, part of her mind noted. She looked far too much like someone who had been through hell.

“Caleb kissed me, I liked it so I ran and then Frieda ran from me,” Emily said. She sat down on the bed, feeling her body start to shake. “And then Master Grey gave me detention.”

Alassa rose to her feet and paced over to sit beside her. “Start from the beginning,” she said, “and go on to the end.”

“You sound like Lady Barb,” Emily said. “I...”

“I should
call
Lady Barb,” Alassa said. “What happened?”

Emily stumbled through the whole story, careful to explain that it had been
she
- not Caleb - who’d messed up her dress. Alassa listened, shaking her head in dismay, as Emily explained what Frieda had done and her own complete lack of comprehension. Master Grey seemed to be very much a secondary concern.

“That could have gone better,” Alassa said. She met Emily’s eyes. “You
do
realize that Frieda has a monumental crush on you?”

“Pardon?”

“Frieda has a crush on you,” Alassa repeated, patiently. “You’re her heroine. I think she’s probably had a crush on you since Mountaintop.”

Emily stared at her. “But why...?”

“You saved her from having to slave at Mountaintop, without learning any proper magic,” Alassa pointed out, dryly. “You took her to Cockatrice and gave her a home. You treat her as a friend and an equal rather than an inferior or a servant. Why
shouldn’t
she nurse a crush on you?”

Emily closed her eyes in pain. Frieda had wanted to spend time with her, lots of time with her. They’d gone walking, practiced magic, played games...she’d even shown hints of jealousy when Emily had spent time with Caleb. In hindsight, it was all too clear. She’d toyed with Frieda’s feelings without ever realizing what she’d done. And...

“I should go see her,” Emily said, rising. “I...”

“Sit down,” Alassa said. She tugged Emily back onto the bed. “Right now, neither of you are in any fit state for a chat. Give her time to come to terms with you not thinking of her in that manner,
then
you can talk.”

“She could have told me,” Emily muttered.

Alassa snorted. “And are
you
good at talking about your feelings?”

Emily flushed. “Point taken,” she said. “When did
you
become the mature one?”

“I’m sure you asked me that before,” Alassa teased lightly, although her smile didn’t touch her eyes. “When I have a fight with Jade, I’m sure I can rely on you to calm me down and tell me I’m being an idiot.”

“Maybe,” Emily said. “What if
he’s
being the idiot?”

“Then you can tell me that and we’ll both feel better,” Alassa said, briskly. “Now; what are you going to do about Caleb?”

“I don’t know,” Emily said. A thought struck her. “What do you think he’s doing?”

“Probably wondering if someone pranked him by sticking girl-repellent on his lips,” Alassa said, unkindly. Emily glowered at her. “Or if he forgot to brush his teeth and his breath was so smelly you fled in terror. Or if he accidentally cast a revulsion charm and you now can’t bear the sight of him. Or...”

“I left him down in the courtyard,” Emily said. “I should go see...”

“If he’s still there?” Alassa finished. She shook her head. “He’s probably talking to one of his male friends about how unpredictable girls are.”

Emily sighed. “I messed this up, didn’t I?”

“Now you know why the aristocracy prefers to arrange marriages for its children,” Alassa said. “There’s less room for emotions to get in the way of cold calculation.”

“You chose Jade,” Emily said. She looked at her friend. “How did you feel when he kissed you for the first time?”

“Excited and scared,” Alassa admitted. “How did
you
feel when Caleb kissed you?”

“Excited and scared,” Emily said. The memory taunted her. “But you didn’t run.”

“No,” Alassa agreed. “I didn’t.”

She patted Emily’s back, awkwardly. “Why did you run?”

“I liked it,” Emily said. “I wanted to go further. Much further. And the thought was unbearable, so I ran.”

“I’m not sure that makes any kind of sense,” Alassa said.

Emily rested her head in her hands. “I’m an idiot,” she said. “Now I have two people mad at me.”

“I don’t think Caleb’s the sort of person to get mad just because you ran after he kissed you,” Alassa said. “If I’d thought he wasn’t a nice person, I would have said something
before
you became involved with him. So would Imaiqah. On the other hand, you probably owe him an explanation.”

“I don’t know what to tell him,” Emily confessed. “What do I say?”

“The truth is probably the best option,” Alassa said. She stood, then knelt in front of Emily, forcing her to look down. “Do you want to kiss him again?”

“Yes...no...I don’t know,” Emily said. “I...”

“I spent ages working up the courage to kiss Jade,” Alassa said. “It wasn’t easy.”

“It wouldn’t have been,” Emily mused. Alassa had to remain a virgin until her wedding night, even though there was no logical reason for it in a world where contraceptive potions and fatherhood spells were common. If her reputation was tarnished, she would - at the very least - have to face a humiliating physical exam to prove she was still a virgin. “Did you want to go further?”

Alassa colored. “Oh yes,” she said. “
Much
further.”

Emily shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said, although she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. “I need to go find him and apologize.”

“I thought you said you had detention,” Alassa said. “Master Grey is pushing you hard, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Emily muttered. She stood, then unhooked the dress and allowed it to fall to the floor. There were a handful of bruises on her body from her last session with Master Grey, all fading slowly into her pale skin. “Let me wash, then I’ll go find Lady Barb.”

“Leave the dress,” Alassa advised. “It can be washed and then you can wear it again, if you like.”

Emily shrugged as she stepped into the bathroom. She wanted to spend longer in the shower, but she knew that Master Grey would have made a point of logging her detention as soon as he returned to his office. Lady Barb wouldn’t be too pleased if she was late, even though she hadn’t been given a specific time. At the very least, she should have gone to the office and requested a time to return to carry out the detention. Her cheeks burned at the injustice of it all as she washed herself down, then used a spell to dry herself. Pulling on a gown, she returned to her bed and found a new set of robes. There was probably no point in donning another dress.

“Good luck,” Alassa said, once Emily was dressed. “And if you
do
see Caleb, or Frieda, be honest with them.”

“I will,” Emily said. She’d be passing the Second Year bedrooms on her way to Lady Barb’s office. If Frieda was there, she could have a little chat with the younger girl, even though Alassa had advised against it. “Or at least I’ll do my best.”

Alassa eyed her doubtfully, then shrugged. “I know what will cheer you up,” she added. “We’ll have a midnight feast on the battlements again.”

Emily blinked. “Aren’t you supposed to be the Dorm Monitor?”

“I’ll speak to myself very severely afterwards,” Alassa said. She grinned. “Don’t you remember the last time we sneaked out and had a feast?”

Emily rolled her eyes. Whoever had written stories about the joys of midnight feasts in boarding schools had clearly never been to a boarding school, let alone enjoyed a midnight feast. It had been fun, she had to admit, but it had also left her far too tired the following morning. And there was the ever-present risk of being caught and punished for being out of bounds after Lights Out. Maybe it
was
a tradition, but it wasn’t one she really intended to uphold.