Trial by Heart (Trial Series Book 4) (18 page)

“It’s working,” I whisper, a little panicked at the thought.  

What started as natural, if uncannily powerful, attraction between us becomes something else as I transform one last time. The sense of being home in Ben’s arms becomes richer, deeper, until I wonder how I ever considered anyone else when a connection this incredible awaited me.

I was always meant to be here, with Ben. The primal acknowledgement is strong enough to scare me and also to crush what remains of my doubt and fear when it comes to letting him in. Ben holds me securely as the final transformation shreds me from the inside out. It’s less than pain but more than discomfort – and happening so fast, I struggle to stay connected to reality and not pass out during the most critical point of my life.

“Farewell.” Erish’s voice is faint.

Ripping myself out of my senses, I twist away from Ben far enough to see the shadow figure.

He’s no longer solid. The shadow becomes transparent and starts to disintegrate around the edges. He dissolves before my eyes. Within seconds, he’s completely gone.

Shuddering beneath the sensations within me, I blink rapidly and wipe my eyes to ensure I’m seeing this right.

The beep of Ben’s watch might as well be a blaring foghorn.

“Time’s up,” Ben whispers.

I glance at the sky. The shadow over the moon has begun to shift again, away from the center.

Erish is gone.

The leaders of the Community breathe a collective sigh, and I cling to Ben, not trusting myself to know if it’s really over.

“Ow,” I mutter and double over. The last of the transformation magic is working its way through my system. I close my eyes and let it, breathing in the scents of those around me. Ben, Tristan, Nathan, Jason …

Myca’s not here.

Confused, I shift away from Ben’s touch and scour the backyard for the vampire prince.

“He’s gone,” Ben says.

“Gone. You mean dead?”

“Yes, Leslie.”

I reach for him, unable to balance the outside world assaulting my newfound werewolf senses and my inner turmoil. He takes my hand.

“He didn’t suffer,” Tristan says and kneels beside us. “I felt him go.”

I can’t speak. Tristan’s words don’t really help me accept Myca’s death as necessary. I understand the reasoning behind it, and I understand it was his choice. Neither of these things will prevent me from weeping for the next few months whenever I think of him.

“It’s over, Leslie.” Ben draws me into his body. He rests his face at the nape of my neck and breathes deeply.

I melt, shaking and overwhelmed. The mating bond between us is stronger than any I’ve experienced to date. It’s gentle, deep and peaceful, as if I could fall asleep right here in his arms despite my horrible night and know I’m safe. I’m waiting for my inner wolf to rear her stubborn head, but this feels more natural, less like being possessed by a werewolf. There’s no separation between my instincts and my primal self this time. We’re one, and we’re intimately bound to the mate I never thought I’d have.

“Are you sure?” I ask and stare toward the ground, waiting for my second shadow to reappear. “He’s really gone?”

“Yes.”

I hug him hard, barely daring to believe the Kingmaker Curse has been destroyed with me still alive.

“Can you stand?” Ben asks.

I nod. He shifts to help me to my feet. I refuse to release him completely, unprepared to deal with the onslaught of sensations from the city when my wolfy senses are already maxed out.

The clan leaders remain, and I glance over them then up at Ben. Their attention is on the werewolf alpha, as if they’re waiting for him to declare the curse gone and dismiss them. His stance is one of casual protectiveness, and he nods to one of the leaders, who steps forward and approaches me.

“Congratulations, Leslie,” the zombie leader says and offers a hand.

I have no idea how to respond and shake his hand in silence. Another leader steps forward, then another, each offering a couple or few words as he or she shakes my hand and then leaves. It’s an awkward, subdued affair, but I also know the importance behind it. They’re acknowledging the breaking of the curse.

When the last is gone, I watch her leave and then turn to Ben. “That was really weird.” I shake my head.

His half-smile tells me there’s a lot more going on than I understand, as usual.

“Talk.” I poke him.

“Just a guarantee none of them decides to ensure the curse is gone by trying to kill you,” he replies.

“So … you threatened them?”

“Didn’t have to.”

Sometimes, Ben scares me a little. His intensity is one thing, but it’s his self-confidence that often floors me. He knows exactly who he is, what he can do, and that no one on the planet will ever get in his way.

It’s a total turn on, when I’m not freaked out by it.

“I saved you from the villain,” I tell him, struggling to lift the tension of the night. I want to collapse and sob for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to do it here. “And you didn’t even have to wear a dress.”

“Dress?” Nathan repeats. “Not going to ask.”

Ben chuckles. “Out, Nate.”

His brother obeys without a blink, and the others follow him, including Tristan.

“Does everyone do what you say?” I ask, awed by the effortless wielding of power by the quiet pack leader.

Ben gives another half-smile. “Alpha.”

“That shit won’t fly with me. You know that, right?” I warn him.

“I’m counting on it.” His gaze is intent and desire glows in its depths.

A different kind of fire flares to life inside me and just as quickly dies when I face the burning row house. The sound of a siren, still five miles out, is loud enough for me to pick up with my new senses.

“We can run together tonight,” Ben says. “It’ll help you.”

The memory of how liberating it is to become a wolf, to lose myself in my senses and to sprint wildly through the forest, stirs a deep ache inside me. Tonight, I desperately need the freedom from being me and the insanity of my world.

“I’d like that,” I reply.

We sink into somber silence. I watch my life, my world, my only home, burn. Ben wraps an arm around me and stays at my side.

I know this is for the best, but a small part of me mourns the destruction of my clan. Twenty generations of Kingmaker’s, trapped by a curse they couldn’t fight, ends tonight in flames. None of them had the chance I did.

None of them had Ben.

Turning away from the fire destroying my past, I gaze up at the man who is my future, unable to understand how he could spend a hundred years planning for this moment and risk everything for a stranger and a clan the entire Community despised.

He is, by far, the most incredible man I’ve ever known. I’m glad my father got to meet him, however brief the encounter, and only wish my mother could have, too. I don’t deserve him, but I will thank the heavens every second we’re together for the rest of our lives. His strong features and silvery eyes will be the first thing I see every morning and the last before I go to bed for the rest of my life – and I can’t imagine a life more beautiful. As hard as the past four weeks have been, and as much of a challenge it’ll be to find my place in the Community, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than standing here with Ben.

Admiration and gratitude can’t describe what I feel for him.

“Let’s go home,” I whisper.

He nods and turns away, guiding me towards the alley running behind the row houses.  

With a final look over my shoulder, I wrap both my arms around his muscular torso and breathe in his scent before rubbing my cheek against the soft material of his sweater with a sigh.

Epilogue

One year later

I can’t honestly say the past year has been easy. The first few months were a mix of euphoria and mourning, of steamy nights with Ben and quiet days working through my emotions. Negotiating the feelings left over from the trial experience was horrible, and I couldn’t have done it without Ben to steady me on the days when I wanted to break things. Handling my heartache has been trickier. I can get over the lies Erish, the Book of Secrets and even my father told me, but the pain of losing someone …

It’s impossible to heal fully from the deaths of my father and Myca or to forget what I felt for them. The best I can do is to remember them and focus on the positive impact they had on me and everyone else. Because of their sacrifices, the infertility problems afflicting the Community disappeared within three months of the curse breaking. A rash of pregnancies took the supernaturals by absolute surprise. In fact, so many couples conceived, the leaders had to convene a summit to discuss the shortage of medical clinics and birth control practices, because it had been too long since anyone had needed to prevent pregnancies. Everyone simply forgot how
not
to get pregnant.

I swear I must’ve laughed for a week when Ben told me this, partially out of sheer joy at the confirmation the curse was broken. But mainly, I found it hysterical to imagine the stoic, grave clan leaders sitting in a stuffy boardroom somewhere, uncomfortably discussing basic sex education.

I also somehow retained my angelic healing magic, which came in handy for about two months. I was able to keep my promise to Tristan and save every fae baby born from the night when Erish disappeared until the curse gradually wore off and my help was no longer required to ensure the infants survived. Once threatened with extinction, the Community as a whole is rebounding and growing after two thousand years of living in fear.

However, the greatest gift my father and Myca left me is before my eyes
.

Seated at a picnic table behind our home, I smile as I watch Ben’s siblings and extended family play sports and talk during the monthly picnic Ben hosts. The cheerful werewolves are even happier than when I first met them, and so am I. I have a huge family, a home, and a possessive husband who fucks me like every day is our first and last together. He also lets me boss him around, even though he seems to run the rest of the world and was unanimously nominated the Community leader at the first election held several months ago.

Although I don’t think my heart will ever completely recover from the trials, I’m grateful for an incredible life filled with everything I didn’t know was missing.

Spotting me on the sidelines, Nate trots towards the picnic table and sits beside me.

“Did you tell him?” he asks.

At one point, I feared being around him would be awkward, given our history. But, as always, Ben knew better. When someone is right for you, it makes you want everyone else to be as happy as you are. There’s no room for awkwardness.

I’m smiling broadly, until Nate’s question registers.

“What? How do you know?” I demand and twist to face him.

“I was talking to Tristan, and he said you came by the medical facility. When I asked why, he –”

“Oh, my god! He was supposed to keep it a secret!”

“Tristan’s like a brother, which means –”

“– no secrets among family.” I roll my eyes. It’s another stupid werewolf reasoning, one I’ve had to get used to. For most of my life, I was accustomed to being alone and viewed other people knowing my business as intrusive. Wolves are pack minded by nature and share almost everything, even secrets. It’s not possible to keep something quiet for long, if I tell anyone other than Ben. Wolves want to know because they care, not because they’re planning something. It’s taken me a while to warm to the idea the rest of the world isn’t out to get me.

“Why didn’t you go to our clinic?” Nate presses.

“Is it your business?” I snap.

He grins.

“Hey, did you tell Ben yet?” Jason asks me, joining us.

Nate laughs loudly.

“Damn dogs,” I mutter. “You mean you all know and he doesn’t?”

“No one’s
told
him,” Jason replies.

I narrow my eyes at him. He’s smiling.

“We don’t have to. He can smell the change in hormones,” Nate explains. “You don’t have to say a word.”

I’m generally at peace with my werewolf senses after a long adjustment period. I can control them better, thanks to Ben’s guidance, and am rarely ever overwhelmed anymore. But I guess there’s no controlling my fucking hormones and how they give me away.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I say, disappointed. “Do I have a puppy or a human?”

They both laugh, Jason until he’s crying.

The only non-native werewolf, I don’t know everything about werewolf society yet, which is an endless source of entertainment to my family.

“Fuck you both,” I say icily and stand from the table.

I head inside, where Ben is on the phone with one of the other clan leaders, probably talking business. He wasn’t joking about rarely getting a break. I’ve had to lure him away from his office more than once a month.

He holds out his hand.

I go to him eagerly, my heart and hormones singing in a way they only ever have for him. Ben wraps me in his embrace and holds me against his muscular frame, continuing to talk in his low, suede voice. I trace my fingertips along the scar on his forearm I discovered during one of our first nights together. I’ve explored every inch of him – and ache to do it again, whenever I see him. When he touches me …

It’s the very definition of heaven and hell existing in the same place at once. I lean into him, and peace and ecstasy fill me with a dizzying flash of energy. At the same time, I’ve never been able to get enough of him, no matter how we exhaust ourselves making love every night and the long weekends where we don’t leave our bed. I smell like him already from our quickie before the family arrived. Lust, desire, passion … there’s no good word for the intensity of yearning and inhuman craving I experience nightly in his arms.

With him, I need more. Always.

Pawing at him impatiently, I rub my face against his chest and loosen my tight control on my senses, until I’m intoxicated by the roughness of his voice, the spiciness of his scent, the heat of his frame. Only then am I remotely soothed but in no way satisfied.