Authors: Kirsten Smith
Trinkets (21 page)
Mutual ComprehensionMy dad is on the phone
when I walk past his office,
but he hangs up
and calls out to me,
Today’s your last class, isn’t it?
I back up and nod yes.
Can I drive you?
he asks.
Sure
, I say.
He gets up and strides over to me.
I have no idea what’s coming
until he puts an arm around me and says,
From where I stand, you’re doing everything right.
I’m not exactly sure what that means.
Maybe one day I’ll figure it out
or maybe I won’t;
he is a fifty-year-old man, after all,
and I’m a sixteen-year-old girl,
so we’re not exactly built for mutual comprehension.
He hugs me close
and it’s a little awkward,
so he lets go abruptly
and walks back to his desk.
I say bye
and we smile at each other for a second,
two people who were always tied
together by one person,
who, try as she might,
just couldn’t seem to stay.
Gift
When I walk into Shoplifters Anonymous,
Moe’s already sitting in the back,
hoodie up around her head,
boots splayed out in front of her.
When she sees me,
she looks up like an owl
peeking out,
big dark eyes
that could either cut you
or warm you
and right now it’s somewhere in between.
The Final Share
Tabitha arrives five minutes late for class,
but still in time to see Gina give her testimonial
complete with iPhone photos
of every relative she’s ever met
and every pet she’s ever owned
and every feeling she’s ever had
because apparently her life has been so changed
by group therapy
that she needs to share
extra hard today.
She finally stops
and Shawn asks if anyone has anything else to say.
Moe stands up
and Tabitha and I look at each other, surprised.
Before Moe starts to talk,
Shawn asks her if she can take off her hoodie, please.
She does and her hair spills out;
it’s no longer cherry red but kind of a sandy blond.
It looks like a natural color if
I had any idea what her natural color might be.
A few months ago
I was walking out of the supermarket
and the sensor went off and
I saw this little old lady stealing a pack of bologna
and a pair of rubber gloves,
but they grabbed me instead of her.
I told them I didn’t take anything,
but they didn’t believe me.
They couldn’t find anything on me,
but I figured the old lady had it worse than I did,
so why make a fuss?
I needed a distraction from waiting in my room
for a boy who doesn’t show up
or hanging out with people who will probably get me into actual trouble,
so I came here
and figured I’d come once or twice,
but then I met some people….
She looks over at Tabitha and me.
… And I decided maybe there were
other reasons to stay.
Shawn runs up and hugs her
and everyone claps and thanks her for sharing.
and Gina decides now would be a good time to cry.
Moe sits down really abruptly
and looks over at Tabitha and me and mouths,
Can we go to the Roxy now?
MAY 6After Shawn signed our forms saying we’d successfully completed Shoplifters Anonymous, we went to eat Quentin Tarantunas to celebrate. I teased Elodie about going to Spring Fling with my brother and she blushed. It was obvious she’s totally in love with him. I don’t understand love. It makes zero sense. Friendships are a little easier I guess. Maybe it helps if you meet in a totally weird support group for people who are trying to “fill the hole inside,” to quote Shawn.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next. There are still three weeks of junior year left, then one more year of high school, and then we graduate and grow up and go to college and get married and have babies and live out the rest of our lives, but as long as we keep eating Quentin Tarantunas together, it seems like a pretty good start.
Now WhatAfter we eat, this is normally the part
where we all split up
and go steal stuff
and meet to compare the spoils.
But it doesn’t seem right now.
That must be why Tabitha says,
Moe inspired me to try something different,
so I think I’m gonna try that for a while.
We walk to the MAX together
and hop aboard,
heading to buy stuff for real this time,
with some very appreciated Nordie’s gift certificates.
Our bags aren’t going to end up full of loot,
but when you’ve scored as much as we’ve scored,
taking more seems like overkill.
THE PHONE CALLWhen I walk in, my mom tells me Brady called. He’s been sending me texts for the past few days. I’ve been ignoring them.
“I don’t want to talk to him,” I say.
“Sometimes it’s better to have a difficult conversation than to avoid one,” she says. Did I mention she started going to therapy last week?
“Fine.” I take the phone out of her hand and dial.
“Hey, babe,” Brady answers. On the first ring, no less.
“Sorry I kicked you,” I blurt out. He may not be the greatest guy on planet Earth, but I’ll sleep easier knowing I haven’t stooped to his level.
He chuckles. “Yeah, well, maybe I deserved it.”
“Why do you keep calling me?” I ask, itching to be done with the call.
“I want us to go together tomorrow night,” he says.
“What?” Is he seriously saying this?
“Spring Fling. Let’s do it. We planned it and so I think we should still go.”
“What about Taryn? You’re dating her now.”
“Not officially. She’s a little too fucked up for me.” Nice. I can only imagine the things he’s said about
me
to Taryn. “Are you still there?” he asks.
“Yeah, but…” I pause a second and really think it through before adding, “I’m not going anywhere with you. Ever.” I hear him inhale sharply, sucking air through his perfect mouth. With that, I hang up.
Downstairs, I find my mom sitting in the kitchen, peeling an orange.
“How’d it go?” she asks.
“He said we should go to the Fling together.”
“And…?” She pours herself a glass of Pellegrino and adds a little juice from the orange to it.
“I said no.”
“Well, you don’t have to go with a date, do you? You can go with your friends.”
I shrug. We sit there for a second. Then I say, “I told him I didn’t want to see him again.”
“Okay, okay,” she says. After a minute she adds, “I did too.”
“You told Brady that?”
“No, not Brady.”
“Who?” I’m confused.
“Your dad. I told him I wanted to separate. Jeffrey’s filing the divorce papers on Monday.”
I sit there, too shocked to even speak.
“I thought for a long time he was the love of my life.” She looks down at her hands, ashamed.
“Well, he was, right?” I ask softly.
“Not really. You are.” She smiles at me, trying not to cry. I try not to cry too, but then I tell myself at a certain point, it’s okay if you do.
MAY 7Aunt B and Marc and I were in the middle of dinner when the doorbell rang. It was Noah. He said, “Can I talk to your aunt, please?” My aunt came out, and he said without even looking at me, “Hey, Ms. Danner, I was wondering if I could take Maureen to the Spring Fling, if that’s okay with you?” My aunt was like, “If you’re not proposing marriage, then I think it’s fine if you just ask her yourself.” He looked at me and I was just kind of standing there and he said, “Well?” I shrugged yes and he said something about picking me up on Saturday at seven. When I walked him to the door, I said, “Are you sure you can be seen in public with me?” and hadn’t he been talking about going with Kayla Lee? He said he didn’t have anything in common with her, not that she was a bad person or anything, but the other day in Geometry 2 he saw two girls who he would have
never guessed in a million years hung out together and it made him realize you never know who your friends could be. Then Marc walked by and whistled at us and I think Noah got embarrassed and I told Marc to shut the hell up before I punched him and Noah kissed me really fast on the cheek and left. I ran to my room and that’s where I’m writing this now.