Authors: Trice Hickman
“Yes, Ms. Brown and I talked. She has the gift, and she's going to watch over Gary for us.”
“This is pretty amazing. Each time when I think I can't be surprised I'm proven wrong.”
Alexandria smiled. “But it's all good. And in this case, it's great.”
When they entered Gary's room, walking hand in hand, the young boy looked up and smiled so wide that it made both Alexandria and PJ smile back.
“Miss Aliiii!” Gary said with a happy grin. He maneuvered his small body so he could sit up in his bed. “I knew you would come and see me.”
Alexandria leaned over Gary's bed and gave him a kiss on his cheek, which made him grin even harder. She wanted to snap her fingers and make Gary all better, but she knew that time, good medical care, and lots of prayer were the only cures. “Of course I came to see you. How's my little man doing?” she said with a smile.
“I'm good. I ate a Popsicle!”
“You did? What flavor?”
“Red.”
Alexandria laughed. “Sweetie, red is a color, remember?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot. It was cherry.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed your cherry Popsicle. Are you ready for a bedtime story?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Gary said with excitement. “I like it when you read me bedtime stories, Miss Ali.”
PJ pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and leaned over Gary's bed. “Before you two get all wrapped up in story land, I need to check you out, okay, big guy?” he said, looking at Gary.
PJ examined Gary as Alexandria sat patiently, looking into PJ's face for any signs of decline or improvement in Gary's condition. This was always one of the toughest parts of her visits. Alexandria wished she could take away his pain, but she knew being there and loving him would have to suffice for now.
“You're doing just fine,” PJ said. Then he looked over at Alexandria. “Everything's gonna be all right.”
He'd just repeated the very words that Grandma Allene had told her this afternoon, and it quieted the last remnants of Alexandria's worries. She was grateful that signs of blessings were all around her, especially given what she knew her family was going to encounter on their trip to Nedine next week.
Less than ten minutes later, Alexandria had only read through half the storybook when Gary drifted off to sleep. She reached over and placed her hand on his, which she was glad felt warm to the touch. She closed her eyes to say a quick prayer, but then gasped when she received a vision she hadn't seen coming. A calm knowing flooded her body, and she felt at ease. She looked down at Gary and smiled. “Good night, my sweet baby.”
PJ walked over to where Alexandria stood and looked into her eyes. She nodded, answering his question before he could ask it. They had discussed in great length the fact that they wanted children, and unlike some soon-to-be newlyweds, they wanted to start their family right away. Given PJ's profession and his love for children, coupled with Alexandria's nurturing instincts, they were excited about having kids. They'd also discussed the very real possibility of including Gary in their family plan.
“I guess we better set up a meeting with the hospital social worker and child services so we can start the adoption process,” PJ said.
Alexandria nodded. “We're going to be newlyweds and parents all at once.”
“I'm fine with that, but are you sure it's what you want?”
“I'm as sure about making Gary our son as I am about becoming your wife.”
They stood over Gary's bed for a few more moments before they left his room, walking hand in hand, looking forward to the bold new life that awaited them.
“I
can't believe I'm going through this crazy drama again. And the third time around at that,” Victoria whispered to herself as she scooped strawberry ice cream out of the container and into the two bowls in front of her. She spread a dollop of fresh, homemade whipped cream atop each dessert, trying with all her might to remain relaxed for the conversation she was about to have with her husband.
Once again, she and Ted were going to have to discuss the one person who had always been a nagging splinter that they couldn't seem to remove from their marriageâParker Brightwood. But now a new problem that was surely going to add fuel to the already flickering flame had slowly crept upâthe surprising and frustrating disappearance of their sex life. Victoria knew she had to approach it with just as much sensitivity and care as the subject of her former lover.
Although Victoria and Ted were in their senior years, they were both active and healthy, and had still enjoyed a robust, and even adventurous sex lifeâthat is, until a year ago, right around the time that Alexandria and PJ had reunited and started dating. From that moment right up to today, Victoria's and Ted's bedroom activities had gone from a little, to less, to nothing at all. Victoria didn't expect to keep up the activity they'd both enjoyed in their younger days, but she also didn't want to go without sex completely.
She had tried to gently talk to Ted about the state of their love life two months ago while they were lying in bed one night. She'd lit a scented candle, removed her silk nightgown, cuddled next to him, and whispered her desires into his ear.
“V, I'm really tired. I had a long day,” had been Ted's response.
Victoria pulled away and tried to keep her composure. “What's wrong?”
“I just told you, I'm tired.”
“You don't look at me the way you used to. Are you not attracted to me anymore?” She looked down at the empty left side of her chest where her breast had once been before cancer and a mastectomy had claimed it.
Ted pulled her close to him. “V, you know I think you're the most beautiful, sexy woman on earth. Of course I'm still attracted to you.”
“Then why don't you want to make love to me anymore? It's been months. We don't hug. We don't kiss. Nothing.”
Ted let out a sigh. “I've been under a tremendous amount of pressure with the company, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I retire in a few years has taken a lot more planning than I'd initially thought it would.”
“Worry about that later,” Victoria said softly, “but take care of me, and us, in the here and now.”
Ted kissed the top of her head. “I love you, V.”
“Are you having an affair?”
Ted shook his head and looked her in the eye. “No, V. Did you hear a word I just said?”
Victoria trusted Ted, but she also knew that his actions over the last six months were out of character and unlike the man she'd been married to for nearly three decades. Ted was the consummate professional and had always taken care of business, planning and strategizing down to the tiniest of details when it came to ViaTech, the telecommunications company he owned and had grown into an international force. He was already grooming their son, Christian, to step into an executive position at ViaTech once he graduated with his MBA from Columbia in two years.
She understood his drive, and that his many work-related pressures could affect his libido. But she also wanted to make it clear that she was ready for their drought to end.
She'd tried to arouse him, only to be disappointed, and she knew she had to get to the bottom of what was wrong. “Do you think we need to go see someone about this, or get you some medication?”
“Medication? I'm fine. I don't have any problems.”
“Clearly that's not true. You haven't touched me since frost was on the ground.”
“V, let's talk about this later.” Ted leaned over and turned off the light on his nightstand, making it clear that the conversation was over.
“I can't believe you just turned off the light and dismissed me.”
He sighed. “I'm not dismissing you. I'm just tired.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I love you, V. I'm still attracted to you, and like I said, there's no one else. You're the only woman who'll ever share my bed and my life.” He kissed her good-night before turning over and falling asleep.
Victoria hadn't so much as mentioned her concerns or frustrations about their pitiful sex life since that night about two months ago. Running her business, volunteering with selected charities, co-chairing an upcoming breast cancer walk, and helping to plan Alexandria's and PJ's wedding had kept her busy from sunup to sundown, but one month from now many of her distractions, particularly her daughter's wedding, would be lifted, and she'd be back to square one with an itch that needed to be scratched. She had no intention of continuing down a road that was creating distance between them.
“Here you go,” Victoria said as she walked into the den with two bowls of ice cream.
“Thanks, V.” Ted smiled like a kid who'd just been given his favorite treat.
Victoria sat down beside him and smiled back. She looked at Ted and was glad that after all the years they'd been together she still found him sexy, fun, and interesting. And best of all, her love and appreciation for him had deepened as each year rolled by into the next.
She studied him closely, admiring the fact that he'd aged well and looked much younger than his driver's license stated. He was tall and still in good enough shape to jog four miles a day. His good looks were now well seasoned like those of a vintage Hollywood heartthrob. His thick salt-and-pepper hair was still surprisingly full, and Victoria loved running her fingers through it. Thanks to the olive undertones he'd inherited from his half-black mother, his skin looked tanned and robust, and his ocean-blue eyes, compliments of his white father, were still beautifully hypnotic with just a few lines around the edges.
“This is the finishing touch to that delicious dinner you cooked.” Ted savored another spoonful of ice cream. “I'll have to jog an extra mile in the morning.”
Victoria wanted to follow up on his last statement by telling him that the extra mile she wanted him to tackle was in their bedroom, but before she approached that subject she knew she had to handle another delicate matter first. “Parker called me today and . . .”
“Why?” Ted interrupted before she could finish her sentence.
She could see that he was already defensive. “He wanted to check and make sure it was okay to invite more guests to the reception.”
Ted looked at her but didn't say a word. She could swear he'd just rolled his eyes, yet another thing that was very unlike him. “But that's not the reason I mentioned his call. I told you because he's coming to town next week.”
Ted's jaw tightened. He swallowed his ice cream and clanked his spoon against the bowl. “What's the occasion? Are we involved, or is he coming specifically to see you?”
“No, not really. He'll be here on business and he wants to know the costs for the rehearsal dinner.”
“What does the cost of the rehearsal dinner have to do with him?”
Victoria blinked, realizing how far removed Ted was from the planning process. “Honey, he's paying for it. So I guess he has a right to want to talk over how much he's forking out.”
Ted shook his head. “He doesn't give a damn about cost. He's just trying to find excuses to see you.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because he's come to town several times over the last six months, and from what I understand, even though PJ's been living here for several years, Parker never traveled to see him the way he does now.”
Victoria raised her eyebrow. “And how do you know that?”
“Because I asked Alexandria.” Ted was looking directly into her eyes, as though he knew that she knew what he'd just said was true. “I find it strangely coincidental,” he continued, “and very suspicious that he has a sudden interest in being here so often.”
Victoria wasn't surprised that Parker's frequent visits to Atlanta had not been lost on Ted. But until now she'd had no idea that he suspected Parker might be seeing her when he came to town. From past experience and mistakes, she knew she had to nip this in the bud. “Twenty years ago you had every reason to question and doubt me. I'll give you that. But as I sit here now, in this present time and space, fully and completely in love and devoted to you, and only you, I can assure you that whatever reason Parker has for coming to Atlanta, it's absolutely no concern of mine.”
“But his reason for coming is because of you, Victoria.”
Whenever Ted referred to her by her given name instead of V, the pet name he'd started calling her when they were dating, she knew he was angry. “I haven't done a thing to encourage his visits. When he comes to town I don't even see him, I just hear about it from Alexandria, like you apparently have.”
Ted set his ice cream on the coffee table in front of him, leaned back into the couch, and crossed his arms at his chest. “We need to talk.”
“Good. I agree.”
“I've held a lot inside and it's really eating at me.”
“I can see that.”
“I'm happy for Alexandria, and I've grown to think of PJ as a son. He's a fine young man of great character and integrity. We couldn't ask for a better mate for our daughter if we went out and picked him ourselves. I believe he'll be a good husband to her, and for that I'm grateful. But as you already know, I have a problem with his father. The fact that you two have a history doesn't bother me.” Ted unfolded his arms and looked directly into Victoria's eyes. “But the fact that you still have feelings for him does.”
Victoria bit her bottom lip, a move she made whenever she was nervous, anxious, frustrated, or perplexed. Right now she was all of those things. But it wasn't because there was truth in Ted's words. She was fully aware of the extent of her feelings for Parker. He still owned a small piece of her heart, and she knew he most likely always would. But she also knew it wasn't the part that mattered. It wasn't the part that made her jump for joy, feel full inside, and want to go to the end of the earth and back just to hold on to it. Ted owned that part, and no one could ever take his place.
Victoria knew that her and Ted's love was tested and true. It had held up in sickness and in health when cancer had reared its ugly head. It had survived for better or worse when she'd found out that Ted had discovered his mother was half-black and had hidden that fact from her. There were dozens of other examples of their love that flashed through her mind. They'd shared hurt and pain, but they'd also celebrated joy and happiness, and Victoria knew that no matter what type of lingering attraction she had for Parker, she would never again risk her marriage in order to reach back for a distant memory.
She returned Ted's stare and cleared her throat before she spoke. “I can't control how you feel, but I can control my actions. Everything that I say and do demonstrates my love for you and my commitment to our marriage and our family. After all these years together you should be able to trust in that.”
“I love you, so I guess I'll just have to,” Ted told her.
“What do you mean, you guess?”
Ted let out a deep breath. “I don't trust him, and I don't want the two of you to ever be alone together.”
Victoria couldn't believe her ears. “We've been through too much and survived too many storms to have a squabble over an ex who I made a mistake with a lifetime ago. For our sake and for the happiness of Alexandria and PJ, please let this go.”
“Promise me that you won't be alone with him.”
Victoria stared into Ted's eyes and could see that he was resolute. She didn't like making promises because, just like life, she knew they were subject to change without notice, depending upon the situation. But she loved Ted with all her heart and she wanted to make peace of things, so she gave in. “Okay, I won't be alone with him.”
“Thank you, V.”
“You don't have to thank me. Even though there's no cause for concern, I'll do whatever it takes to ease your mind and make you feel more comfortable.”
Ted nodded, then picked up his spoon and polished off the rest of his half-melted ice cream.
Later that night, as Victoria lay next to Ted in their king-size bed, she looked over at him and then up at the ceiling. He was fast asleep, but she was wide awake, thinking about the conversation they'd had. She'd decided not to broach the subject of her frustration with their sex life because the topic of Parker Brightwood had been enough conflict to deal with in one night. But she knew they were going to have to tackle the growing issue at some point.
Victoria reached over and turned off the light on her nightstand, hoping and praying that for once in her life, her gut feelingâthat although Ted had said nothing was wrong, there was a mountain of troubles he was keeping from her that made her situation with Parker look like child's playâwas wrong.