True Beginnings (2 page)

Chapter 2 HIM

I smile. I can see Lucy waiting on the sidewalk outside her building. I'm early. My smile falters though when I see that Tracy is waiting with her.

Tracy is what I call a 'bad influence.' Lucy admitted that her own Mom believes Tracy contributes to her having a more foulmouth than she should. And I've seen for myself how Lucy behaves more boldly around this friend. It's why she was cursing the other night. Hopefully, Lucy is broken of that habit. I grin, if not, she'll be a very sorry little girl again in the future.

Jeff opens the door for Lucy and she gets in. Tracy leans in before the door is closed. "So I'll see you guys tomorrow at 7:00. Don't forget the wine!" She slams the car door before Jeff can move in her way. Lucy doesn't look at me. She looks everywhere but at me.

I let her squirm a little longer. She fidgets with her purse, taking out a mirror and pretending to check her makeup. I can tell she's already reapplied before waiting for me. She adds more powder anyway.

"What was that about?" I put my hand on Lucy's knee. She kicks her leg up in response, but doesn't laugh at my ticklish squeeze.

"Um...I forgot..." she darts looks at me, then at Jeff in the front seat, then back at me, "...to mention that I made plans for us to do a movie night tomorrow..." more darting, and she swallows, "...at Tracy's."

I've been texting her all day. She said her friends and co-workers hadn't noticed anything. She was fine. She didn't say anything about this until now.

"Ask me."

Her head whips sideways to face me; she holds her makeup in the air in front of her face. I smile at the look of shock and shame on her.

"I..." She stops, lowering her makeup and hands to her lap. I see a cloud of emotions fight over control of her face. She turns her face to mine, "...I made plans for us..." She tries to say this with a strong voice, but she squeaks at the end. It's more a plea than a statement. I raise an eyebrow in response. She lowers her eyes.

"Oh...?" I smile as she lowers her chin slightly as I drip sarcasm into this simple accusation. "Is that how you
ask
me, Lucy?" I've been nervous about her facing her friends and co-workers all day. How she'd react if they commented on anything. If she'd be able to withstand outside influences in how our relationship is developing. It's why I left a mark on her that is so visible...I need to know that she's mine...no matter what anybody says to her.

I've been hopeful in her text responses, but now is the real test. I need to push her, again. I need to put her in her place and keep her there. I allow myself a small smile while her eyes are still lowered.

I wait for her to finally raise her eyes to me, her chin still lowered, "Can we go to Tracy's tomorrow night, Max?" She asks in such a sweet little voice.

"You don't have the
right
to decide what
you
do, what
we
do, anymore. I expect you not to make plans again, Lucy. You get my permission first. Do you understand me?" I continue my hard look at her, ignoring her question for a moment. Taking this golden opportunity to drive home the message that she's no longer in control of herself, her life.

She shrinks into the seat more, fidgeting her fingers together in her dress, looking furtively at Jeff to see if he can hear us. "Yes, Sir...I won't," her answer is tiny.

"Good." I continue staring at her for another moment. Her cheeks are a blooming with the heat of her embarrassment, her eyes a bright blue and wide, and her tits heave nicely in the form-fitting dress. I'm proud of her for not asking me for an answer. "We can go tomorrow."

She's so tightly wound, that she jumps into my arms and kisses me at the release of her tension, "Thank you, Max!"

"You just better be on your best behavior!" She squeezes me more and promises to be.

Chapter 2 HER

I'm nervous. I keep checking myself in the mirror. My makeup has stayed on well, but then again, I've reapplied three times today. Max finally tells me to put the mirror away.

I would rather be heading home for an early night with Max, than out to dinner with his friends. Today has been exhausting. But I know better than to make this suggestion to him. He would definitely not be happy with me questioning his plans. And he did just agree to go to Tracy's tomorrow...but that might just be even more stress for me.

We arrive at the restaurant and I smile to myself while I wait for Jeff to open my door...pet-peeve avoided. I don't know who all is going to be here tonight. I imagine that it will be the friends that I've met of his, Dan and Becca, Mike and Stephie. I like all of them. Stephie was rude at first, but now she's sweet to me. Mike is a goof ball and makes me laugh a lot...something I could use tonight. And Dan acts like an older brother to Max, with Becca acting like a mother hen to the whole group, so both were welcoming to me from the start.

Max is waiting for me on the sidewalk. His tall, dark looks excite me. In a white shirt over light linen pants, his strong muscles and lean body are on display nicely. He looks so perfectly casual, yet carries himself like he's in a full suit. Two women walking into the restaurant try to catch his eye, but he only looks at me as I walk to him. He kisses my cheek and presses me to his side, "Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight?" I blush. He says he loves this about me, how easily I blush and show my emotions.

"Only a few times..." My smile feels great; I relax a little more, sending much needed relief to my knotted stomach.

"My brother's going to love you." He is already opening the door, before this sinks in.

"Your brother's here?!" He doesn't answer, just continues to lead me inside. The lobby area is full of people waiting for tables already. We head towards the large bar in the back. Max stops, though, to look at his phone.

"Sorry, baby, I have to take this. Wait for me in the bar." He turns to head back outside to hear better.

I hesitate, in a limbo of emotions. The knot is back in my stomach. I know that I have to walk into the bar. Max told me to wait for him there. If I don't, he'll be upset with me. But I'm scared to walk in there and meet his brother without him.

I stay still for a moment longer, calming myself with what I do know already about his brother. Jake, 32, three years younger than Max, lives in Old Town with his girlfriend, can't remember her name. Jake didn't follow the path set by their Dad, he didn't become a lawyer like Max did, he didn't join the family firm like Max did. He also didn't take the brunt of the abuse from their Mom when they were younger, because Max protected him as much as he could. The abuse stopped when Ron married their Mom and adopted them both.

I take a deep breath. Better head in.

I see Dan before anyone else. He's almost the same height as Max and stands out in a crowd. I make my way towards him and he waves as he sees me. "Where's Max?"

"He's right outside. Had to take a call first." I look around. I only see Becca and Stephie sitting at the bar.  Phew.

"Here. I got an extra one since it's happy hour prices. I thought Mike would be here by now." Stephie hands me a glass from in front of her. It's gin and tonic, not my favorite. But I could really use a drink about now. I take a big gulp before thanking her.

"How's your gallery opening going?" Becca takes a gulp of her drink too before answering me.

"Great! I think I've got a place lined up in River North. It's this cool loft gallery that hosts up-and-coming exhibits along with their rotating regular pieces. It's one of my favorites for finding hidden gems for my clients. I just hope another art broker thinks my art is a hidden gem now for someone else!"

"You'll do great! You do great at everything!" Stephie shakes her shoulder and I nod in support.

Dan adds, "I think she's underpricing herself...but she's the expert!"

Becca slaps his stomach, but is smiling, "Thank you, supportive husband!"

I realize that I've downed almost all the drink and start to put it on the bar to avoid drinking the rest. Max puts his hand on my shoulder and I turn towards him in a quick startled motion. Dan is the first to greet him, though, "Hey, the conquering hero has arrived! Congrats on closing that deal today with Hoffman! That place is going to be great for the LPE Group!"

"Thanks!" He takes Dan's outstretched hand and shakes it. Then he takes the drink from my hand and I can tell he's upset. At first I can't tell if it's at me or from his call. His look darkens and by the strange electrical pulse that runs from my stomach down to my pussy, I know it's me. I'm just not sure what it is that I've done to upset him. My stomach knots more watching him, watch me.

He glances down at the drink now in his hand and finishes it. Leaning over me to put it on the bar. He gets the attention of the bartender and orders two glasses of wine for us.

I try to lighten his mood, kissing his cheek as he leans over me, "You didn't tell me...Congrats, Max." He works for his Dad at the firm, but he mostly works for himself, as a silent partner and attorney for the Lincoln Park Entertainment Group, one of the largest owner/management groups of restaurants and bars in the city. He doesn't really talk business with me, though. He doesn't even ask about my job.

Max ignores me and answers Dan instead, "You're just happy because it means I'm always going to be able to get us a table at one of your favorite bars in town!" Max is laughing, but the dark look hasn't left his eyes. He keeps flicking them at me.

"You wound me, friend!" Dan is clapping his back though and everyone's laughing. I join in, but only for a second.

The bartender hands our wine to Max. He hands me one, but doesn't let go. He leans over my side, "That's strike one, little girl." I swallow and feel my face turning red. He didn't whisper it, just said it in his usual deep voice. I glance around to see if anyone heard him. He nods at me and lets me take the glass. He must be upset that I had that drink before he arrived. It's his biggest pet-peeve so far. He always orders everything for me. It's been this way since we met, and I've never challenged him on it.

It's one of the strangest parts of our relationship. From the beginning, Max has been more attentive than any other guy I've dated. He notices everything, keeps an eye on me at all times when we're together, and always does little things to show me how special I am to him. But his attentiveness also means he has a lot of these pet-peeves. A long list of things he does or doesn't want me to do.  I don't have to guess how to make him happy. He tells, shows me.

And I have surprised myself with how much I like it this way. He's in control. There's never been a question about this in my mind. Take Max, take his control. It wasn't until after our trip to meet his parents though, that I realized how deep this need for control goes. His. And mine.

I've never really liked the wishy-washy nature of guys I've dated before...leaving everything up to me to decide...leaving the brunt of relationship building and commitment pushing up to me. Max has been different from the start. And the depth of my response to him has surprised me.

I've wanted to please him from the beginning. I've wanted to follow his little rules and old-fashion-ness to show him how much he means to me. I've been proud of being able to do every little thing he's asked. Since he slapped me, though, there's also been this element of fear of not pleasing him.

And the depth of my response to that has been the hardest for me to understand. Just looking at the darkened look he still wears now...makes me wet. He made me a promise. And I know that I can trust him. I know that I can give into these feelings…that I’m safe...to be turned on by his anger, his control.

Chapter 3 HIM

I like watching her change before my eyes. She shrinks into herself, blushes, looks around embarrassed. She's aware that I'm angry with her and she's trying to figure out why. She should know by now, though. I'll have to make that lesson more memorable for her. I keep an eye on her, admiring how beautiful her blue eyes look when they are tinged with fear.

Dan is asking Stephie about her latest case, "...So is the defendant as sleaze-bag as the blogs make him out to be?" Since attending law school with Dan, Mike, and Stephie, Stephie has been the only one of us who has stayed in her original field, civil defense. 

She puts on her best "lawyer face for the cameras" as we called at Northwestern, "I cannot confirm nor deny these allegations, gentle sir!" We laugh, but I like seeing that Lucy is still too on edge to laugh.

Before Dan can give a smartass comment back, Jake arrives and hugs everyone, stopping in front of Lucy. "You must be Lucy?" He smiles down at her from the same height as me.  We could almost be twins, except he keeps his wavy brown hair longer, touching his collar.

She gives him one of her prettiest smiles. Her head held back and eyes sparkling. "You must be Jake?" They shake hands.

Stephie breaks in though, reaching with her hand towards Lucy's jaw, "Oh, honey, you have a little smudge."

Lucy moves her head down quickly to cover the bruise with her hair again, but not before seeing the accusing look Jake shoots at me. Stephie doesn't notice anything and goes back to teasing Dan.

Lucy remains with her head down, her eyes turned pleadingly up at me though. Jake turns to face me more and looks like he's going to say something. I only smile calmly at my brother's clenched jaw.

"Here you are! I looked around the restaurant for you since I'm so late!" Jake's girlfriend interrupts his glare. He relaxes his face and returns her hug, taking his eyes off of me.

"Hi, Julia." I give her a hug in return too and turn her towards Lucy, "Lucy, Julia."

"Nice to meet you!" both girls say in unison, shaking hands. Lucy's laugh is shaky and shy. I put my arm around her and pull her to my side firmly.

Mike arrives within seconds, "Sorry I'm late! Had to get across town in the Friday rush!" He slides in to stand next to Stephie.

She kisses him, but says, "I gave your drink away...serves ya right!" Dan and Becca laugh at this, but Lucy only buries her head more in my side. Good girl.

                                                                                    .....

Jake sits across the long table from me. His look keeps travelling from me to Lucy. His jaw is no longer clenched though; his eyes are more questioning, his brow pulled down. I return his stare calmly, keeping my face neutral.

Lucy remains with her hands in her lap, not picking up the menu in front of her. I put my hand on her knee and she grabs it with both of hers like a lifesaver.

Stephie turns to Lucy suddenly, "Hey...Lucy, we never got what you do for a living?!"

"I...I'm in human resources," Lucy is thrown off by the sudden spotlight again. "I'm in recruiting."

"My lucky day! ...maybe you could help me then!" Julia is leaning over her menu across the table. "I could
really
use some interviewing pointers." She tells the rest of the table that she's trying for a promotion, but has to interview for the job since it's with a different division.

"Yeah, Max. You'd like that wouldn't you...
your
girlfriend helping mine to get ahead in the business world?!" Jake says this quietly, but with enough sarcasm to make Julia look at him questioningly.

Lucy answers before I can, "I'd love to help!"

"Great! Maybe over lunch next week...my treat?!" Julia sits back, smiling at Lucy, but still with a frown at the looks Jake and I are exchanging.

"Sounds good," Lucy answers quietly, also responding to the tension between us.

"How's your little
business
going, Jake?" I take a drink of wine, still calmly meeting my brother's stare. He clenches his jaw again.

Dan interrupts, "I heard you got a city contract to make over the old Union Building? Congrats, Jake!" Dan gives me his "be cool" look...eyes wide, brows raised, head nod, raising his glass in Jake's direction. Big brother trying to make peace. Both Mike and Dan are aware of our family rift.

Mike joins in the peacekeeping effort, "Yeah, that's a big deal...congrats!" He raises his glass for everyone to cheer. I join in, but don't clink glasses with Jake. He pulls his glass away from mine too.

The waitress arrives and stops next to my chair, "Hello, Mr. Traeger. It's so nice to see you! Do you remember me? I worked at Frogs Leap as a hostess!" I try to remember all the employees I come in contact with at the LPE restaurants...it's a very incestuous business and it's important to put names with faces quickly when making decisions about staff.

"Of course. Veronica! It's great to see you too."

"And thanks for the recommendation! It made getting this job super easy!"  She had been a good employee, but we closed the place down for four months of renovations last year and let everyone go.

"I'm glad! Let me know if you're ever looking to make a move back, we have an opening in parties and catering..." I know this is one of the areas that all waitstaff love...better pay, bigger tips, and less hours. She'd be perfect since she already knows most of the menu and the catering manager.

Her smile gets bigger. "I'll think about it! Thank you!" She turns to the rest of the table, "Some of you look set on drinks, I'll get orders for those who aren't.  But does anyone have any questions on the menu so far?"

Jake speaks up, "Lucy...do you have a question? You've hardly looked at your menu..." He's staring pointedly at me though.

Veronica starts to turn to Lucy, but I answer, also staring at Jake, "She's fine." He bows his head sarcastically to me.

Mike breaks the tension. "Actually...I think we could use more drinks all around, Veronica!" Stephie and Becca gulp down the last of their drinks and hand their empties to Veronica. She doesn't miss a beat. Jake finally stops glaring at me when it's his turn to order.

                                                                                    .....

The rest have left already, leaving Jake and me alone. Dan squeezed my shoulder on his way out and said, "Play nice, boys." Giving Jake a nod as good-bye. Lucy and Julia excused themselves to the bathroom shortly after.

Jake doesn't waste any time, as soon as we’re alone, "I can't believe you!" He's staring at me, leaning forward, his hands open on the cleared table. I only look at him, waiting for him to continue. He was always more emotional than me. "You're
really
following in Ron's footsteps now, aren't you?!" He's trying for sarcastic, but it comes across as more questioning.

"Our
Father
is a good man, Jake. Careful how you speak about him." I lower my voice, speak slowly, and give him the The Look. It's what we had called the expression that came over our Dad's face when we did something wrong. Brows furrowed, jaw clenched, eyes piercing. We always knew we were in trouble when we got that look.

Jake is my little brother. I've always protected him. But I am not going to take shit off of him. He's always responded to me, backing off when I really push him. He leans back in his chair, taking a deep breath. "Look, Max..." He runs his hand through his waves, and leans forward into the table once more. Lowering his voice to almost a whisper, "I can tell that you really like this girl...and she's obviously crazy about you..." He falters when I sigh and frown more.

"I love her. And she loves me." I can see that he's surprised at my matter-of-fact tone in making this statement about a girl that he hasn't even met before.

He shakes his head in response, "But, you don't have to go down this path..." He shrugs at the end. Lucy and Julia are returning to the table, so he says no more. He stands up before either of them can sit back down. I stand up too.

But I wait until short good-byes are given, before grabbing Lucy in a hug. "You were a very good girl tonight!" She beams a smile up at me. "Except for that one slip...we'll have to address that later." The pretty shift from disappoint, fear, and anxious need to please that plays across her face makes me smile and kiss her again. "Let's go. It's been a long day, baby."

                                                                                    .....

In the car, Lucy falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. Poor, girl...she
has
had a long day. The beginning to all the rest of our days together.

I still can't believe how quickly everything's progressed with Lucy. We've only known each other a little over a month, and I'm already comfortable being myself with her. No keeping a distance, like with the girls I took on random dates to events and just for sex. No hiding what I believe until I think the moment is right to try for something more meaningful, like with past girlfriends. No pretending that a girl who submits to my demands in the bedroom is good enough for me, like past unsuccessful relationships.

I don't remember making a conscious decision to be different with her...but with Lucy, everything
has
been different. From the beginning, I've been controlling and demanding. And she's responded perfectly. In sync with how I think and feel...how I believe it should be between me and mine.

I know Jake rejects how we were raised. It's because he doesn't remember how bad it was before Ron came along...how bad
Mom
was before him. But I do.

The first seven years of my life were crap. My Dad was a deadbeat, never marrying my under aged Mom, dragging her into his seedy drugged-up life, disappearing a year after fathering my brother. My Mom was overwhelmed...unable to cope with what life had handed her. Until she met Ron. He turned everything around in one night.

He stopped her from beating my brother for something minor. I overhead it all. I'd crept out of our bedroom while Jake stayed cowering and crying in his bed. I heard Ron yell at my Mom. And I heard him spank her. She'd begged, cried, tried to get away even. I heard him beat her with his belt that night.

The next day, he sat Jake and me at the kitchen table and explained that he was going to be our Dad from now on. That he was going to be in charge and things would be different around the house. Our Mom only smiled and looked down at her hand on his shoulder the whole time.

I also remember that she didn't sit down for almost a week...just like I didn't when she took Jake's punishment out on me the year before. But then she'd used her fist and my back was too sore to sit that long.

Remembering this doesn't make me bitter or angry. I know that my Mom is a good woman now. She's loving, caring, considerate, kind. She's everything that a wife and mother should be. All thanks to Ron. His tough-love showed her how to be a good woman.

Jake doesn't understand this though. We talked before I went college. He said he was afraid to be left alone with Ron's anger. I told him that Ron's anger served a purpose...to help us to be better people. That he had nothing to fear.

But I know that he never saw it this way. He doesn't remember Mom's anger...her violence. He only remembers how strict, controlling, and disciplinarian Ron was to all of us. He thinks that Mom could've been a good mother on her own...I know he's wrong.

I only hope that there's enough of Ron in me to counterbalance my own anger issues...