Trust (46 page)

Before we left the spa parking lot, Lily called Logan to let him know we were on our way. When we arrived back at the condo, there was no sign of Logan or any of the men.

Lily took my hand and led me into the kitchen. “Come on. We’re going to need supplies if we’re going to be cooped up in your room most of the day.”

“Thank you for staying with me, Lily. And for this morning.”

She glared at me for a second before she began digging through the cabinets and drawers. “You can stop thanking us, you know. We want to help. Simple as that.”

We gathered an armful of snacks and drinks before heading to my bedroom. I didn’t argue with her, but it wasn’t simple. Not at all. Not only would it take up Logan and Lily’s entire day, but it also required Logan to get other people to help him with only two days’ notice. It was also Christmas Eve.

Lily and I crawled onto my bed along with my laptop and settled in to watch a movie.

About twenty minutes in, Logan knocked on the door, causing us both to look up from the computer. “I wanted to let you know that the guys and I are back. We’re going to be in and out for about the next hour, so if you hear a lot of commotion, it’s only us.”

We both nodded.

“Did you need anything before we get started?”

Lily answered. “Nope. I think we’re good.”

He smiled. “I’ll let you get back to your movie, then.” Logan shut the door behind him, and we returned to watching our movie.

It was only a few minutes later that we started hearing voices. Lots of voices. Male voices.

As if sensing my discomfort, Lily placed her arm around my shoulder and pulled me against her side. It wasn’t the same as Stephan, but it helped.

The noises in the main room ebbed and flowed for the next two hours. I heard several different voices, but I couldn’t tell how many of them there were. How many guys had Logan brought with him to help?

At lunchtime, Logan knocked on my bedroom door again before strolling inside with two plastic bags. “I brought you ladies some food.”

Lily scrambled off the bed and took the bags from Logan so that he didn’t have to come too close. They both knew he still made me nervous.

She looked in the bag and got a big smile on her face. “Italian?”

He shrugged. “I figured if you were going to be shut up in this room, you deserved substantial sustenance.”

Lily stretched up on her tiptoes and gave Logan a kiss. It started out as a chaste peck, but then she kissed him again, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

I looked away.

Once Lily returned to the bed and started pulling out the food, I gathered my courage and met Logan’s gaze. “How are things going?”

My voice sounded weak, and I knew it.

“It’s going well so far. I’d say we’ve got another hour or so tops. Most of the holdup is remembering where he had everything. I helped him dismantle it, but before that, I’d only been in there a handful of times—and it had been a while.”

I looked down. “I’ve never been in there.”

“At all?” Lily sounded shocked.

“No.”

“Then why . . .”

Glancing over at her, I could see her confusion. I guess it made sense. “Because I know he misses not having his things here.”

Logan took a step closer, drawing my attention back to him. “Brianna, if you’re not ready, then don’t push it. Stephan will understand.”

I shook my head. “I’m not. I just want him to have his stuff back, so that when I am ready . . .”

Lily placed her hand over mine in a comforting gesture. “So that when you’re ready, it will be there.”

I nodded.

She smiled. “Makes sense.”

Lily and I spent the next hour eating the food Logan had brought for us. She told me about their plans for Christmas. Tonight they were going to a party—a BDSM party. Tomorrow they were starting the day with brunch at her parents’ house and then going over to his brother’s. Lily told me that Logan’s parents had moved to Florida two years ago, so as a family they did a sort of Christmas in July thing. Logan and his brother and sister still tried to get together on Christmas Day, though. I got the feeling that Logan’s parents were a little self-involved. Then again, I didn’t know them.

“Logan still makes you nervous.”

It wasn’t a question, and I didn’t deny it. “Yes. A little.”

“Can you tell me why?” She paused. “Other than the fact that he’s a man.”

I shrugged. “That’s part of it, but it’s also because he’s . . . he’s . . .”

“A Dom?”

“Yes. No. Not exactly.”

“What then?”

We were so involved in our conversation that before we knew it, Logan was knocking on the door again. “We’re all done.”

“Okay.”

“I’m guessing you don’t want to see it?”

“Um . . .”

“It’s all right. There’s no pressure, Brianna.” He paused. “Did you want me to leave it unlocked or lock it like Stephan had it before?”

That was a good question. I didn’t know, but I figured when in doubt, locking it was probably better. “Can you lock it, please?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

When Logan left the room, Lily turned to face me on the bed. She didn’t say anything, only stared. I realized she was waiting for me to answer the question she’d asked before Logan had interrupted. “Logan is . . . confident? I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but that, added to the fact he’s a man, makes me unsure of him.”

Lily reached out and took hold of both my hands. “Logan would never hurt you, Brianna. Ever. First of all, I’d go postal on his ass, and that’s not even factoring in what Stephan would do to him. Plus, Logan isn’t like that. Do you think he and Stephan would be best friends if he were?”

“I guess not.”

She smiled and gave me a hug.

Logan and Lily didn’t stay long after that. They had to get ready for the party that night. Plus, Stephan would be home soon. He was getting off early since it was Christmas Eve. According to him, there had to be some perks to being the boss. He hadn’t wanted to go in at all, but he had a conference call he couldn’t miss or something. To be honest, I’d missed most of his explanation because I’d been so distracted. I hadn’t considered that he’d not be going to work, even if it was Christmas Eve.

After saying good-bye to Lily and Logan, I went back into my bedroom and dug out the rope Stephan had given me from the drawer where I kept it. Over the last few days, I’d picked it up whenever I could, attempting to get used to it. I’d even wrapped it around my wrist, trying to remember how it felt. When he used it on me, I didn’t want to panic—that was my biggest fear.

At a quarter after three, I laid the rope down neatly on the end of my bed and strolled out into the living room to wait for Stephan. I only hoped this night went as planned and that he liked his gifts.

Stephan

I was so glad this day was over. Half the employees had taken the day off since it was Christmas Eve. If I’d had my way, I would have done the same. Jamie had asked for the day off to spend with her family, and I’d granted her request. I didn’t feel it was right to make her be here when all I wanted was to be at home with Brianna myself. If not for the conference call I’d had to take with a hospital executive in New York, I would have been.

Traffic was sparse driving through downtown. Most people were already home with their loved ones, which was exactly where I was headed. Brianna had been distracted all weekend—I knew everything was getting to her. I’d tried my best to keep her busy. The best part of the weekend, in my opinion, had been making cookies. Of course, I had some fun with her toward the end, and I’d ended up taking her—both of us covered in flour—on the kitchen floor.

I chuckled, remembering. We’d had to take a shower afterward, even before we could clean up the mess, because flour was in places it shouldn’t be.

After parking the car in my spot, I grabbed my briefcase and walked toward the elevator. It opened fairly quickly, and I stepped inside.

On the ride up, I reevaluated my plan for tonight. Three weeks ago, we’d gotten a letter in the mail with Brianna’s lab results. Everything came back negative. She was clean.

Since then, she’d asked twice if we could try to have sex without a condom. We’d talked about it, and I’d had her jack me off with her hand in the shower several times in the last two weeks to gauge her reaction.

The first time, I’d observed her actions and reaction after. It was subtle—so subtle, I hadn’t picked up on it before—but seconds after she released her hold on me, she’d twist ever so slightly into the spray and wash the evidence down the drain. It was done in such a way that I wasn’t sure she was aware she was doing it.

When I had her do it the second time, I latched on to her wrist immediately after and held it in place, preventing her from washing my cum off her hand. I watched her closely and counted the seconds. As I reached fifty-two in my head, her agitation started to increase. I made her focus on me and try to breathe through it, but when her chest continued to rise and fall rapidly, I directed her hand under the spray and removed the remnants of my climax.

Over the course of two weeks, we’d worked on extending the time. She’d gotten up to five minutes two nights ago, which gave me hope. Five minutes was enough time for us to separate comfortably and for her to make it to the bathroom to clean herself.

I walked confidently into the condo and glanced around, searching her out while I removed my coat. She peeked up over the back of the couch when she heard me enter. The smile on her face showcased how happy she was to see me.

Brianna jumped up and tossed what I assumed was the book she was reading down on the couch before running across the room to greet me.

I planted a firm kiss on her lips and hugged her. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Hello, Sir.”

Since I was home earlier than normal, I decided to spend some quality time with my girl before we thought about dinner. I removed my suit jacket, and placed it, along with my briefcase, on the table beside my keys. Grabbing hold of Brianna’s hand, I led her over to my chair while loosening my tie. We sat down, and Brianna positioned herself in my lap. She immediately began playing with my buttons.

“How was your day?”

She hesitated for a moment. It was almost nonexistent, but I’d caught it. “Good. I’m glad you’re home.”

I kissed the top of her head and started running my fingers through her hair. “Did something happen today that you need to tell me about?”

Brianna nodded. “Can I wait to tell you until after dinner?”

Her response surprised me. Why did she want to wait? I knew I could press the issue, but if she wanted to wait until after we ate, I would give her that—as long as she
did
tell me. “All right.”

“Thank you.” She pressed her lips against my neck, giving me a gentle kiss. It was sweet and loving and perfectly Brianna. “How was your day?”

“Boring. Over half the staff had the day off, so it was pretty much a ghost town. I put on some Christmas music, and—other than answering some e-mails and that conference call I told you about—I spent most of my day reorganizing my desk. It’s shocking how things accumulate.”

“I can clean it for you if you want.”

I smiled at her suggestion. “That’s okay. We have a couple that comes in to clean the building once a week. They make sure everything is dusted and the floors are swept.”

She nodded.

We talked a little more about my day before going into the kitchen to start dinner. I’d told her this morning not to worry about it until I got home since I knew I would be leaving the office early. While cooking wasn’t my favorite pastime, it was always fun helping her. It was the only time she told me what to do, not that she was really telling me. It was more giving me direction. I was typically put in charge of making a salad or chopping up vegetables.

The best part, however, was finding opportunities to touch her. I’d wait until Brianna was completely focused on whatever she was doing and then reach over to touch her arm or wrist. Other times, I’d step up behind her and nuzzle her neck while she was mixing something together.

I remember the first time we worked in the kitchen together. She held herself stiff as a board, afraid of doing something wrong. How time had changed things. As we worked together side by side, we talked and laughed. It was relaxing and exactly what we both needed.

After we ate, I helped her clean things up and then went to change into something more comfortable. I was used to wearing suits, so they didn’t bother me, but there was something to be said about jeans and a soft cotton T-shirt.

When I reentered the main room, I found Brianna kneeling with her arms behind her back. Straightening my shoulders, I strolled over to her with measured steps. A few feet away, I stopped and waited to see what she would do.

Several minutes passed, and I saw her swallow multiple times. It was clear she was nervous about something. Still, I waited.

She took a deep breath but kept her gaze on the floor in front of her. “May I give you your Christmas present now, Sir?”