Trusting Gibson (Last Score Book 2) (35 page)

Seeing how devastated Jill was downstairs made my heart hurt—both for her and for me. Jill had been living with this feeling I had since she’d been with Toby. It felt raw for me because this was what I had expected from a guy like Gibson, but with all we’d been through and how supportive he had been of me, it had slipped my mind about this side of his personality and his horny attraction to women.

After his three minute call to me yesterday, I had been forgotten.
Was he ever going to tell me about this party? How did Tori get there?
I was sure Gibson had told me she was out of the picture when the tour ended, and her departure was personally welcomed by me, even though I said nothing to Gibson about her. Then I thought back to all their arguments and Gibson saying he hadn’t slept with her.
Were all those arguments because they were attracted to each other but it wasn’t good for the band?

I kept looking again at the picture and waiting for a light bulb moment, something that would make me think,
you know what? This is old because…
unfortunately I had to concede that the image was current and Gibson had possibly begun to move on.

Slamming my laptop lid closed I hit it hard with the flat of my hand feeling angry that after everything with Kace, Gibson had asked for my trust and I’d given it to him. My instinct was to run. To get as far away from the world and the fucked up ways that people conducted themselves around me.

Knowing those pictures were out there and that everyone who was present at that party saw how Gibson was behaving with other women shattered me.  Feelings of hatred for Tori— for Gibson, even the rest of the band and toward Johnny who watched on, twisted my gut. Depression, anger and sadness overwhelmed me to the point where the best I could come up with to do, was to get into my bed and cover my head.

I wanted to block out the world because I just couldn’t face anything else. Coming through the ordeal of Kace was a major hurdle, and I did that because Gibson was so strong for me, but I felt betrayed by the one person that I had let in again and it seemed like he had failed me.

Once I let the tears flow the flood gates opened I was a sobbing wet mess. I lay there from the afternoon’s dusk light until it was dark. Ruby knocked softly on the door, but didn’t wait for me to open it. Pushing the door just wide enough to step inside, she closed it quietly and walked over to my bed.

“Hey Chloe.” I didn’t answer her. I couldn’t. My throat was constricted by the sob that was threatening to come to my mouth. If I spoke to her I knew I’d really lose it and I was fighting for control. I knew some point I was going to have to decide what I do next and I wasn’t ready for questions.

Where do I go? How do I get there? Am I strong enough to deal with everything on my own?
To be honest, I was much better than I had been for the past few months, but it wouldn’t take much to push me back to rock bottom. Hell I was almost there now.

The mattress dipped at the bottom of the bed under Ruby’s weight as she began to crawl up beside me. Without saying anything she just stroked my hair. Her touching concern should have made me feel less distressed but it didn’t. Feeling her behind me reminded me of Gibson. How could I go forward, knowing how I feel about him? Without the love I thought he had for me? How do I do that while still loving him despite those pictures? Just like I was sure Jill still loved Toby.

I must have fallen asleep and woke to the noise of “Harder to Breathe” by Maroon 5, the tune I’d downloaded as my ringtone. Ruby had left the room at some point and I was alone in the dark. My eyes still stung and I felt sick from all the crying and my head hurt. Following the direction of the sound I found my cell glowing on the dresser near the window. Opening the blinds the room was bathed in moonlight.

Gibson was calling. Almost twenty four hours after those pictures had been uploaded, he was calling. I left it unanswered to go to voicemail and sat down on the chair staring out into the bright dark night, because the snow and full moon still painted a magical scene. What I was feeling in the pit of my stomach didn’t match that picture at all.

There were times when I felt I had been hard on Gibson; when I could have just gone with the flow. I thought it was just what happened with Kace that kept holding me back. Today’s reality check made me realize it was an inbuilt protective mechanism at play that was designed to protect me from guys like Gibson, who were fatally attractive and highly addictive, but deadly as far as my heart was concerned.

Several minutes later there was another knock on the door. When no one opened it I walked slowly over and opened the door. Lois was standing with one hand in her back pocket and her cell in the other. She gestured by waving it at me to take it.

“Gibson’s on the phone for you.” Shaking my head I closed the door and leaned my forehead against it, fighting back the sob that was stuck in my throat and only a swallow away. I wasn’t even sure I had anything to say to him.

My mind was in turmoil. My heart felt like it had been cut open and I had a pain in the center of my chest and the distress was overwhelming when I considered that I may have to walk away from him. There was also the question of whether he even knew that I knew about the pictures, or that he’d been partying without me. Again I wondered if I should run, but he was in LA and I was in Colorado. The distance between us would give me time to think about how I moved forward with my life.

Everyone was concerned because I had refused to eat. I didn’t want to come out of my room to face anyone because apart from the pictures, finding out about them the way I had was embarrassing as well. Jill arrived at my door but didn’t knock just opened the door and put the overhead light on.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry Chloe. Ruby just told me you hadn’t seen the pictures. The last thing I’d ever want is for you to be walking in my shoes, but you are. You must have thought I planned that today, believe me honey, I didn’t. Toby and Gibson are always dangerous when they’re together. It’s like they have this weakness—a collision of two alpha males in one spot and neither of them seem to realize they bring the best but also the worst out in each other.

“Alcohol has a huge impact on their decisions and they seem to fuck up effortlessly when they get into a party situation.” Walking over beside her I sat down slowly on a small chair, feeling pretty pathetic that we were just two ordinary girls in extraordinary circumstances and we shared a problem that neither of us had the answer to.

Jill sat down on the bed opposite me and her puffy, tired eyes really pulled at my heart strings. Licking her lips nervously, she looked down and picked some lint off of her yoga pants before glancing up quickly, fixing her red-rimmed eyes into mine in an intensive stare.

“So what are you going to do? Are you going to have it out with him? Tell him you know?”

“It’s probably a given that he knows I’ve seen them Jill, I just refused to talk to him on the phone.”

“Have you decided what you’re going to do next?”

“Probably the same as you did, front him out about it. But Gibson won’t be able to sweet talk me, Jill.  I need honesty. I can’t say how I’ll react until he shows his hand. Then I’ll decide where to go from there.”

Jill stood up and placed a hand on the door handle before turning back to me. “Can you do it when I’m not around because I’m more than likely to fire some insults in Gibson’s direction. I know that Toby is responsible for himself, but both of them together…” Placing her hand on her hip Jill turned back to face the door and stopped, “I really am sorry, Chloe. I didn’t know that you hadn’t a clue about the pictures.”

“Jill I don’t blame you for sharing them with me. I’d rather know what I’m dealing with, than go around in a blissful ignorance. You did me a favor by telling me even if it was accidental.”

Pulling the door open, Jill gave me a sympathetic smile and Ruby came into view just before she closed the door and pushed it back open again.

“Gibson’s here, Chloe. His car just pulled up in front of the house, I figured you’d want to know.”

My heart stopped as I sucked in a deep breath, feeling panic rising. I was completely unprepared about what I should even say to him. Spending all day crying hadn’t helped. I was a wreck, emotionally and physically.  I looked disheveled and I hadn’t even showered. I was about to face Gibson and block out his insanely attractive looks and his beguiling ways and be determined to hear him out but not be swayed by how my heart felt.

I didn’t want him to see me  and my initial thoughts were that I wanted to make myself presentable, but then I thought about what I saw and decided that I’d be making a pretense of coping with what I knew when I clearly wasn’t. Ruby stepped closer and hugged me.

“I’m here, okay? Whatever you need. Just text me, Chloe. If you need to get out of here just say and we’ll figure something out honey.” Stepping back she placed her feet back flat on the floor and smiled at me but it didn’t reach her eyes. Ruby’s brow was furrowed and I could see she was worried about me.

Closing the door I sat once again on the bed collecting my feelings and preparing to go down and face whatever the truth was about Gibson, and how that would shape my future. Staring down at the ring my parents gave me during a happier time and I briefly thought of them. Then I tried to take a moment to center myself before I saw him.

Suddenly there was a rush of air and Gibson was in the room beside me. “Chloe.” Hearing the sound of Gibson’s low velvety tone when he spoke made me close my eyes. Now that he was in the room I felt even less prepared to deal with the truth about his past few days without me. Swallowing noisily, I could feel my emotions waver because he was here and I was going to have to confront the mess I witnessed in the photos Jill had forwarded to me.

Just having Gibson near me was making my body hum, an irresistible pull that drew me to him. Magnetism. I had to fight against his presence drawing me into him, even when I didn’t want it to. When I opened my eyes, I focused on the intricate gold thread in the cream comforter while I tried to keep my composure.  Gibson smelt clean and seductive wearing my favorite cologne and although he hadn’t actually touched me I could sense his closeness to me.

Sighing heavily his anxious broken words flew out of his mouth in a hurried way like he was protesting his innocence. “It’s…the pictures…they’re not what it looks like, Chloe. I mean they are but I didn’t know I was doing it.”

I almost laughed because it was the type of excuse a child may have said after being caught doing something they wanted to devolve themselves of responsibility for.

Dragging my eyes up his legs, past his groin, taking in his dark jeans, his familiar soft brown leather belt and up the black tight t-shirt that showed off the contours of his abs and pecs I stalled then finally made eye contact with him. Gibson knew he’d fucked up. It was all right there in his face, guilt and grief. There was no doubt in my mind that whatever had happened, Gibson was sorry for his actions.

Sorry didn’t mean I could accept him with another woman. I’d been there with Kace and I’d never be able to accept that again.

Clearing his throat and swallowing, Gibson shifted on his feet and ran his hand through his hair. “I need to talk to you.” His voice sounded wounded and laced with concern. I wasn’t sure if that was concern for himself or for us– or just for me and how I was going to react.

“Obviously. You came rushing back here to do it, so I’m pretty interested in what you think you can say that is going make those pictures of you and Tori seem pointless to our relationship Gibson.”

Gibson sat down heavily on the bed beside me and I immediately stood up, folded my arms and walked over by the window, moving behind the high backed chair then hugged myself.

“Fuck. Don’t. Don’t do that. Come here. I can’t do this with you standing there like that.” Gibson put his hand out for me to come go over to him, but ignored the gesture then shook my head.

“Just say what you want to say, Gibson.” Really, I should have wanted to slap him hard, but if Kace had taught me anything it was never to show anger. Kace found it unnerving that I never got pissed at him no matter how much he goaded me, so I expected it to have the same effect on Gibson. There was no way I was going to allow anyone to manipulate me into being less of a person again.

Gibson scrubbed his hand down his face and slapped his thighs with the palms of his hands pushing himself to stand.  Walking slowly to the door, he pulled the handle down and cracked the door open, turning back to look at me he shook his head looking defeated.

“Well from the general apathy of your tone I don’t feel there is any point in me laying everything out, Chloe? Seems to me you’ve already made your mind up about me and whatever I say, will only put the final nail in the coffin for us, darlin’.”

Without another word, Gibson opened the door stepped out and swung it back. The soft click signaling his departure made me feel worse than when I saw the pictures that made everything wonderful I’d been feeling about him, disintegrate.

CHAPTER 32 - WALKING AWAY

Chloe

So that’s it?
Gibson’s futile attempt at explaining what had happened with Tori was a non-starter. Since I’d seen the pictures I was a teary mess and he just swept in, made a half-hearted attempt at denying it, changed his mind and admitted it in the same sentence then when I wasn’t falling at his feet, he just brushed me off and left.

Sitting down on the chair in a stunned silence, I stared out of the window and watched a rabbit bouncing around in the snow. The day had started with a magical feeling and my world was brighter than it had been in years, and all it took for everything to tumble down was for Gibson to live up to his reputation.

I thought I could trust him. Gibson had been amazing during my recovery and in the time we shared we’d grown really close. Every time I looked at him my heart almost burst into a million tiny ones. That’s how much love is in my heart for him.
What do I do with that now?
Outwardly he had everything–was everything to every one…or tried to live up to that.