Truth or Dare (7 page)

Before I can thank Robby again for his help making tonight happen, the line goes dead. Definitely going to give him shit for cutting me off like that. What if there had been something else I needed from him? There’s not, but that little punk just put me out for a chick.

**

Fifty-six minutes later, I carefully guide Mister Coy’s Volvo C70 into my parking stall beneath the building. The thing is tiny compared to my Cutlass, but I have no doubt that the old man would whoop my ass if I put a single scratch on it. There’s no time to wait for the elevator, which I’m sure is the slowest in the city, so I take the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor.

If it was anyone other than Lea playing bubblegum pop music at full blast from inside my apartment, I’d be pissed. But as I reach for the knob, I can almost picture her dancing her way from room to room, holding the brush in her hand as if she’s Katy Perry. The biggest difference between the two would have to be the fact that Lea can’t carry a tune to save her life. But what she lacks in substance, she more than makes up for in style, so I sneak inside, slowly closing the door so I can enjoy the show before she realizes that she’s been caught.

My head falls back as I fail miserably in my attempt to keep from laughing at the way she screeches when her eyes open and she’s less than two feet in front of me. “Colby! You scared the shit out of me!”

When I reach for her, pulling her in for a quick kiss, it feels as if we’ve been doing this forever. Lea’s lithe body sags against mine, moaning quietly as my tongue swirls around her sweet mouth. God, I could stay here like this all night if not for the fact that I have a dare to complete. “Are you just about ready?” I ask, resting my hands on her hips, not ready to let go.

As I watch her walk to the front door, I realize what a fool I’ve been. The girls I’ve messed around with have nothing on my girl. Fuck, I hope she’s okay with me calling her mine, because as far as I’m concerned, this bullshit of us avoiding one another ends. Now. Regardless, those girls are polished, fake and everything they think I want. Lea’s at the complete other end of the spectrum, is dressed in jeans, a simple black tank top that accentuates her toned arms, and cowboy boots. Classic, simple, comfortable, and drop dead sexy.

“Yep, just have to grab something for later tonight.” She ducks into her bedroom, returning with a flannel shirt tied loosely around her waist. It seems like such a small thing, but the way she can be so at ease, not freaking about whether or not she fits into some arbitrary mold is a huge part of what has always drawn me to her.

Placing my hand on the small of her back, I lead her out of the apartment, never breaking contact as I fumble with the keys to lock the door. As we wait for the elevator, I wrap my hand around the braid at the nape of her neck. “You look amazing,” I say, tugging gently so her blue eyes are looking into mine. “Thank you for not freaking out.”

“About?” she asks, looking confused.

“Me telling you how I feel.” Fuck, putting a voice to my biggest concern makes me feel like a punk. Lea hates weak guys. I know this, and yet I’m standing here getting all sappy about the fact that she didn’t slap me or tell me I’m an idiot. “I just…”

She silences me by covering my mouth with hers. As her tongue slides between my lips, I feel my cock stirring to life, and I wonder how I can get out of this date and take her back inside. It’s too soon for us to be together, I know that, but I want to have the opportunity to explore her sun-kissed skin. I want to kiss her until her lips are swollen and her body is flushed. I just want her. Fuck, maybe I am a punk.

“I’m still thinking about freaking out,” she says, working a bit too hard to keep her expression stern. When I begin to fidget, she rests her hand over my racing heart. “You could have told me this a long time ago but you didn’t. I thought you didn’t like me that way…”

Whatever I’ve done to make her feel that way, I vow to figure it out so I can
never
do that again. Even if I was busy being an asshole, trying to keep her from wanting me, that doesn’t mean I wanted her to feel as if she wasn’t worthy. That’s one of Lea’s biggest problems; she’s used to being the unpopular girl, so she can’t see why anyone wants to be around her.

“Hey, I’ll probably be fucking this up a lot. So you should probably get used to hearing me say I’m sorry.” I try to make light of the situation because I can see her starting to think and that’s not allowed tonight. We step into the elevator and I move us so her back is pressed to my chest in the corner. “It was never about not wanting you.
Never.
”

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I rush ahead of Lea so I can open the door for her. After all the talk I made about Bowie being a dick and her deserving a man who would treat her like she’s the center of the world, I have to make sure I live up to that standard.

Neither of us speak as I make my way out of the city. We’ll eventually loop back to Veteran’s Hill, but first, I have to make a quick stop. It’s probably a date-night event that would wind up on some list of worst dates ever, but Lea knows me well enough that I have faith she’ll understand why I need to do this. She glances over at me nervously when she realizes where we’re going, tenderly reaching for my hand without saying a word.

I haven’t been here since the day we buried Paulie. Reaching in the backseat for a six-pack, I open Lea’s door. “We fought about you that night,” I tell her sullenly as we walk between rows of stone markers. This is the first time I’ve told anyone, even Lea, why I have carried so much guilt about Paulie’s accident.

“About me?” She chokes on the words, almost as overcome with memories as I am.

“He knew,” I admit, kneeling in front of the simple headstone. “He and Robby have known since the beginning. And Paulie…fuck, I think he loved you almost as much as I do. He said I was an asshole for trying to tell myself I was staying away from your for your sake. After a few too many drinks, he unleashed that night because you saw me kissing Toni and I made you cry. I told him to fuck off and he left.”

Swallowing hard, I take a minute to compose myself because I really want to cry all of the tears I never allowed myself after the accident. I was the one who could have stopped him. I should have stopped him. But I was so pissed at him for pushing me, I watched him walk out the door. Robby and Eric followed him out to his car, where he managed to convince both of them that he was fine to drive. “After he was gone, it was even harder for me to admit what I felt because it would be like saying Paulie was right. If I had said that that night, he’d still be here.”

Fuck, I told her I was going to screw up this dating thing, and I’m sure proving that to her. Who brings a girl to the cemetery and lays this shit on her? Me. Paulie was right, I’m an idiot.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lea says sweetly, sitting next to me. Knowing it’s what other guys from our tight group do when they come out here, she reaches into the paper sack, pulling out three cans of beer.

Some might find it disrespectful to have a drink at the grave of a man who died because he was drunk, but Robby and some of the other guys started this months after he died. One beer per person, never more. She skillfully cracks the top on each can, handing one to me.

“To Paulie, almost always the voice of reason,” she says, holding her can in the air. She turns so she’s facing the headstone, speaking to our friend now. “I’m still pissed at you for what you did, but thank you for sticking up for me.”

She tips the can back, making a sour face after the first draw. She’s never been a fan of beer, and swore she would never drink it again after last night, and yet, she’s sitting here choking the liquid down because it’s what we do. She turns to me, taking my free hand in hers. “He’s the one who drove that night. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

The summer sun sinks below the horizon as we swap stories about Paulie. It feels good to be here with her. It might be fucked up to most people, but in my mind, it’s like we’re here, showing him that we figured out our shit, even if it took a while. The guilt has taken up permanent residence in my soul, but with Lea’s reassurances, the weight isn’t as heavy.

Chapter 9

Lea

We’re too young to know the loss we feel. You were too young to die. But we’re learning that life isn’t fair, so we’re here crying while you’re on the other side, screaming at us to knock it off and remember the good times…

The somber mood in the car as we cruise down dark, country roads is surprisingly okay with me. Colby tells me everything, but I never knew about his fight with Paulie until tonight. That leads me to believe that he realizes as much as I do what it means for us to take this next step in life hand-in-hand. He took me to the cemetery because he needed to make sure there wasn’t a ghost between us, and I get that.

Thanking him seems oddly inappropriate, but I can’t think of anything else to say, so I do what Colby does when the silence gets to be too much. I reach for the stereo, trying to find something that won’t make either of us go insane. The fact that he’s a country boy and I’m a pop/rock girl could be a deal breaker if not for the fact that we’re almost perfect in every other way.

“Just pick something, CB.” We’ve had this fight hundreds of times over the years, and I always wind up turning it to something he will enjoy because I know I’ll be treated to him singing along to the radio. After more surfing through channels, listening to each station for no more than three seconds, Colby bats my hand away from the buttons, reaching under the armrest for a CD. I try to see who it is, but he’s too quick for me.

Country may not be my thing, but I am a sucker for Tim McGraw, and that’s the disc Colby put in the system. When the rich voice starts singing about best friends, I look over to Colby and see him glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as he pays attention to his driving. Our fingers weave together on his knee as he starts singing along with the track and I have to fight back tears. I’ve listened to this song more times than I can count, but tonight is the first time I’ve stopped to appreciate the lyrics.

He pulls the car into the vacant lot, leaving the music playing as he rushes around to open my door. As soon as my feet are on the gravel drive, Colby pushes the door closed, drawing me into him. As we dance under a perfectly clear sky filled with millions of stars, Colby serenades me. Although they’re not his original lyrics, his voice is as smooth as glass as he sings about how we found each other without a minute to spare. Despite the fact that it took us so long to get to this point, I agree with him. Neither of us can understand why just yet, but there is a reason our path wound the way it did.

“Is it too soon for me to tell you that I love you?” he asks during the bridge. I look into his amber eyes and see the depth of his words. The words won’t form around the lump in my throat, so I simply lift myself onto my toes, softly kissing each corner of his mouth.

“No, because I’ve been waiting over three years to tell you,” I admit when I can speak. “I love you, Colby Davis, even if you are a moron sometimes.”

After the song finishes, Colby reaches in the backseat for a blanket and a soft-sided cooler. He tucks the blanket under his arm, leaving one hand free to hold me as we walk across the field. Being here, in the one place that has always made me feel safe, with Colby sitting beside me feels right. God, that sounds cliché, but it is.

This is the place my grandparents brought us on warm, summer afternoons so we could run free and watch the planes taking off from the airport below. Eventually, they would call us over to the shelter for lunch and they would take time to make each grandchild feel special. My grandfather was the one who instilled a need for college in all of us, saying there would be time to live, but if we couldn’t support ourselves, we would only be existing.

His words still ring true with me, but as I lie under a blanket of stars with the man I firmly believe was sent to me, I’m seeing that not everyone is destined to take the same road in life. Colby has a gift that doesn’t require a degree hanging on the wall to thrive. And as painful as it is, I know it’s my duty to encourage him to follow his path and be his number one fan.

“Hey, where did you go on me?” Colby asks, brushing bright red wisps of hair away from my face. I roll on my side, mirroring his position and take in the sight of him.

“You have to go to Nashville,” I blurt out before fear chokes out the words. The last thing I want to do is watch him leave, but if he doesn’t, he’ll spend the rest of his life wondering what could have been. The passion I saw and heard when he was singing to me won’t diminish over time.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting to hear that,” he says, sounding dejected. Daring to look at his face, I see the uncertainty pooling in his eyes. “I figured we might have at least one night together before you tried to get rid of me.”

Running my hand along his trimmed beard, I brush my lips against his, holding the embrace. “Colby, now that we have one another, it’s not going to be that easy to walk away. And that’s why you need to do it now. We’ll find a way to make it work, but you have to promise me you’ll start making calls and planning. What you have is a gift and I won’t be the one to hold you back.”

Between the two of us, I think we’ve done everything we possibly can to make this the worst first date in the history of first dates. He takes me to a cemetery and I tell him that he has to leave me. We’re quite the pair. Then again, if we can make it through this, we’ll have one heck of a story for our grandkids someday.

“Babe, I can wait until you graduate. I’ve waited this long, a couple more years won’t kill me.” He rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world, but our bodies are pressed together and that’s all that matters.

“No, there are no guarantees in life. I want you to do this while I’m busy with school. You can come up and see me whenever it works out and I will be in my car, heading down there as soon as breaks start, but you
have
to do this.” Tears are streaming down my face, creating two wet circles on Colby’s t-shirt. Before any more fall, he reaches up, gently swiping my cheeks with his thumb.