Truth or Dare (8 page)

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’d like to see if we can turn this date around, otherwise I’m afraid you’ll never go out with me again,” he teases. Despite the pain in my chest, I laugh because I was having the exact same thoughts. This is how well we get one another.

**

When I told Colby I wanted to watch the planes from Veteran’s Hill, I never thought it would turn into camping under the stars. For the second morning in a row, the blinding sun wakes me and I turn to see Colby lying next to me. It’s hard to believe how much life has changed in the past couple of days, but I’m not going to question it. As Grandma always said, “Everything happens for a reason, and it’s best that you don’t ask why. That’s just daring God.”

It’s funny how their memories have faded over the years, but one night on the hill has brought them back to the front of my mind. When I told Colby that this would be my dream date, it was because very few things in life brought me joy at that time in my life. My grandparents had died within months of each other, less than a year before Amanda brought me out for the first time and I thought my life was over. Being on the hill was how I still felt a connection to them and I would have gladly moved there if I could have. Today, I have peace because I realize they’ve been close to me this entire time.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Colby says, his voice hoarse from the early morning air. He cracks one eye open to look over at me. “Whose bright idea was it to sleep out here?”

I giggle as I watch him try to stretch, knowing that his body is punishing him the same way mine is. It’s been a dry summer and the ground is hard as rock, not ideal for sleeping, even if it is next to a sexy man. Colby reaches over, digging the tips of his fingers into my sides. “Oh, you think my pain is funny?” he kids as he continues tickling me.

“No…yes…Colby, stop!” I say as I gasp for air. Colby pulls me onto his lap as the fighter jets from the National Guard hangar fly overhead. We sit there until all of the jets are in the air, feeling the rumble of the low-flying aircraft throughout our bodies. “We should probably head home,” I say sadly, wishing our date never had to end.

“Are you going to let me kiss you goodnight?” Colby asks as he helps me into the car. Cocking my eyebrow, I pretend to think on his request for a bit. Unable to keep a straight face, I know Colby knows he’s getting at least a kiss. What is the protocol for goodnight kisses that take place at seven in the morning when you already live together?

Chapter 10

Colby

Knowing that today was coming doesn’t make it any easier. Lea and I have spent every possible minute together for the past few weeks, even turning down invitations to parties and avoiding the dead end. But today, I’m making my girl breakfast while she flips out, wondering if she’s forgetting anything for her classes.

“Babe, if you do forget something, call me. It’s not that far and I can bring it to you,” I call across the apartment as I pour her a travel mug of coffee. “Come on, I’m not going to make you a hot breakfast every day, so you’d better enjoy it while you can!”

The truth is, the number of mornings I’ll be spending like this are quickly dwindling. I haven’t told her just yet, but in just under a month, I’m going to be headed down to Nashville. It turns out that Robby’s dad knows a guy, who knows a guy, and I have a job waiting for me at a new club. It’s not playing my music, but it’s better than nothing.

“Wow, someone’s grumpy this morning,” Lea teases, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind. I put on my best happy face before turning in her arms to see if I can kiss off all of her kiwi lip balm.

Tonight. I will tell her, after she’s made it through her first day of classes. God, I don’t want to tell her. The biggest part of me doesn’t even want to do this right now, but I’m pretty sure Lea and I got our worst fight out of the way first because she refused to back down about me going to Nashville. When Robby’s dad overheard me bitching to Robby, he took it upon himself to make some calls. After not having a dad who supported my music, it’s nice to have Mister Coy in my corner.

“Only because I don’t want you to leave,” I say softly and I mean every pussy-whipped word. Not that I’m sure you can be whipped if you haven’t gotten any, but I think I am and I’m okay with that. “Hurry home so we can go out to dinner and celebrate.”

Walking her to the door, I try to convince myself that this is a good thing. Sure, I’ll miss her, but at least this way, we’ll both get used to not being together all the time before I leave. I can’t imagine quitting this girl cold turkey.

I pull out my acoustic once Lea’s gone, working on a song that came to me a few nights ago. True to my word, not a day has gone by when I haven’t screwed up something. After telling her that I’m doing the best I can, the lyrics started flowing and my biggest concern became finding a notepad before they left my mind.

I am doing the best I can

With everything I am

Don’t you know I think you’re worth it?

Do you understand how hard I’m trying to do

The best I can?

Who knows if anything will every come of it, but I’m determined to record this song on my crappy home setup before I leave so Lea has a reminder that I’m doing this for us. The only reason I’m taking this step is because she pushed me to follow my dreams.

Music has always been the one thing that keeps me sane, but right now, it’s tearing me apart. How many artists dream of hitting it big in Music City, only to become a statistic? Being one of the best at home isn’t going to mean shit to anyone once I get down there. I’m going to have to play until my fingers bleed in order to get someone to notice me, and even that might not be enough.

My phone vibrates across the cheap desk in my bedroom as I play the last measures of the song again. Soon, it will be polished enough to record for Lea, but I have a lot of work to do if I plan to try and sell this to anyone. The number is one I don’t recognize, so I let it go to voicemail.

Once I’m satisfied that the song doesn’t sound like total shit, I pick up my phone, dialing into my messages as I dig through the fridge for something to eat.

“Colby, this is Aaron Donaldson. Something has come up and I need to know if you can get down here sooner. Steven Coy assures me that you’re a hard-working, dependable kid and I need that right now. If you can get down here by Wednesday, I think I might have the perfect position for you that’s going to benefit both of us. Call me back when you can to let me know.”

Fuck, now what do I do? Mister Coy really went out on a limb for me. I’m not sure he’s ever even done something like this for Robby, but he’s given someone his word that I’ll be a good employee. And Aaron knows why I’m coming down there, which makes me even more curious about how this is going to be something that benefits both of us. It seems to me like there’s no choice other than to pack my shit in a duffel bag and go. In a city like Nashville, turning down an opportunity or putting someone off is probably about as acceptable as spitting on them. And there will be a hundred other starving musicians all too eager to take the slot I’m being offered.

The problem is that the bus ride is over twenty hours, which means I’ll have to leave tomorrow, late in the morning. While she’s supposed to be at school, I’ll have to jump in a cab to the bus depot and turn my back on home. Just the thought has me scared shitless. With one thirty second voicemail, life has suddenly become very fucking real to me and I’m a big enough man to admit that I’m shaking in my boots, self-doubt creeping into my mind.

**

“Honey, I’m home,” Lea says, doing her best Ricky Ricardo impression as she walks through the door. As soon as the door is closed, her backpack hits the floor with a thud. “Wow, you look nice tonight. I thought we’d just head down to Jetty’s for a burger or something.”

“Nope, I told you I was taking you out to dinner. Go get changed.” I swat her on the ass as she passes me, resisting the urge to follow her into the bedroom. Now, that I know when I’m leaving, there’s a sense of urgency about everything. I have to find a way to make every minute count, and I want the majority of those to include her naked while I worship her body so she’ll remember me while I’m gone. Taking our time no longer feels like an option to me because if I leave without leaving an imprint on her heart and mind, the memories of the past few weeks will fade over time.

There must be some sort of magic hidden inside Lea’s closet because less than ten minutes later, the co-ed wearing tattered jeans and a camo tank top saunters out of the bedroom wearing the tightest black jeans I’ve ever seen and a sinfully sweet yellow top. She has let her hair down so there’s a stark contrast between the bold sleeveless top and her shocking red hair. And again, it all seems like she simply pulled something out of her closet and threw it on.

“Fuck, you make me not want to leave the apartment,” I sigh as she walks over to me on dangerously high heels. I’m not even sure where she got something like this because I’ve sure as hell never seen it on her before. “You look beautiful, babe.”

As we walk the two blocks to the restaurant, I notice more than a few of the college punks checking out my girl. All I do is smile, knowing that she’s all mine and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it, other than drool.

The hostess seats us at a table in the back, just as I requested when I called earlier. Not knowing how either of us are going to handle tonight’s conversation, I figured it was for the best if we weren’t in a high traffic area. I’m regretting that choice now because there’s nothing to distract me.

“How was your day?” I ask, knowing the words are lame as fuck.

She goes through her classes for the semester, telling me about the ornery Lit professor and the eclectic head of the Psychology department. Somewhere around her third class, I start to zone out, knowing I can’t delay the inevitable. “Are you listening to me at all?” she asks, annoyed by my inattention.

“Sorry, I’m just distracted,” I say, clueless as to how to continue, so I just spit it out. “Robby’s dad got me a job in Nashville. I was supposed to leave in a few weeks, but the owner called this morning and wants to know if I can be there by Wednesday.”

Lea takes a few deep breaths, but doesn’t say anything in response to my less than eloquent revelation. I swear, if she asks me to stay here, tells me that she was wrong, I’ll turn down the job. I’m not the one who wanted to go when there’s no way for us to move together. “Wow, that was quick,” she says quietly after a long pause. She presses her hands to the table, pursing her lips. “It’s okay. We’ll make this work. Right?”

She reaches for my hands, squeezing them tightly and I know she’s as nervous as I am. Long distance relationships are hard, and both of us are going to be busy all the damn time. Her with school and me with work and doing whatever I can when I’m not at the club so all of this isn’t for nothing. Lea has faith that I’ll be able to get a deal, so I can’t fail. It’s simply not an option at this point.

“Yeah baby, we’ll make it work. Will your parents be upset if you come down there for Thanksgiving?” Of course they will. Not only are they total freaks when it comes to family holidays, their opinion of me is going to sink lower than I ever thought possible once they find out that we’re together
and
that I left her behind to chase my dreams. They won’t give a shit that I’m doing this at her urging, all they’ll see is that I am abandoning their daughter.

When this was all just the two of us sitting around the apartment dreaming about how life could be, it seemed easy, but now, I realize it’s going to be anything but. I can’t ask for time off right after starting a new job and she won’t have a real break until November. Her family isn’t as close as they used to be, but I don’t think she has ever spent a holiday away from them. And call me selfish, but I want her to be with me for as many as possible.

“They’ll have to understand,” she sighs. I know she’s imagining the tongue lashing from both of her parents, telling her that I’m not good enough for her. Fuck, I hope they won’t break her resolve. I need to know I’ll be able to see her. “Will you be able to come home for Christmas?” she asks hopefully.

“I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee anything right now. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing by then.” Her lower lip quivers and I fear tears aren’t far behind. “Baby, I promise I’ll try. It’s the best I can do right now.”

Throughout our meal, I silently plead with her to beg me to stay. We’ve spent too much time fighting over this for me to bail now that she knows, but damn, I want to. She said something last week about maybe looking into Vanderbilt for grad school. That would put us closer together, but that’s two years down the road. It would be easier for me to stay here with her and then we can go together. But only if it’s her idea. Otherwise, I’ll be jumping on a Greyhound and leaving her the Cutlass while I’m gone.

“Hey, this is a good thing,” she says, leaning into me as we walk home after dinner. “And it’s only a couple of months before we see each other. Plus, we’ll be so busy we won’t have time to miss one another.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I agree, even though I don’t feel it. “Is there any way you can skip your classes tomorrow? I know it’s the first week, but I want to spend every minute with you until I have to get on the bus.”

Lea is one of the most dedicated students I know. Last winter, she dragged herself to class when she had pneumonia because she didn’t want her grades to suffer. But this is different. She told me she loves me, and now we have less than twenty-four hours before we’re going to be separated. Even she admitted they didn’t learn anything today, and I know tomorrow will be more of the same for her.