Trying to Survive (Part 3) (11 page)

Chapter 14

   I didn’t want to stand outside in case any shredders wandered by, so I was stuck sitting in one of the few chairs in the lobby that wasn’t covered in blood stains. I was playing the familiar game of trying not to stare at the clock hanging on the wall by the front desk.

   If you were to ask me, I’d guess it was 3:00am. To my frustration the clock claimed it was only five minutes away from midnight. I told Walt I’d wake him up whenever I started to get tired…
It’s gonna be awhile…

  
I thought back to the small neighborhood we passed through before we heard the car alarms that led us to Allen and Veronica. I imagined waking up every day and standing under the seemingly never-ending canopy of trees that have been around long before I was born, and will continue to grow taller long after I die. Whether its tomorrow, or sixty years from now.

   I knew I’d probably never see it again, but it was nice to think about anyway…

   The tapping of soft footsteps echoing in the hall snapped me out of it. The short strides told me it wasn’t Walt or Allen. Even though my eye was fully adjusted to the darkness, all I could make out was the shadowy figure of a woman. Judging by her height, I knew it had to be Veronica. When she finally left the hall and entered the small amount of moonlight making its way into the lobby, her face was almost completely visible.  

   Without saying a word, she walked up and sat down next to me. I said “Can’t sleep?”

   “I think Brian’s the only one really sleeping.”

   “Probably…”

  She leaned back and crossed her legs. “I’m bored, and I can tell you are too… So… Who were you before this, James? What’s your last name?”

   “Amalfitano.”

   “Italian?”

   “Did the hairy knuckles give it away?”

   “I think my family has some Italian somewhere back in the line.” She said through a laugh.

   “Just about every family does… I’m a mutt, just like everyone else. My mother was Swedish, English, German and all that shit.” I turned to her and smirked. “So, your last name is really Thrace?”

   Veronica scoffed “Oh god.” Then put her finger in my face. “If you call me Starbuck I’ll have to kill you.”

   I put my hands up and laughed. “I promise, I won’t… That’s pretty damn cool though. Gotta say.”

   “I used to work at a Bank” She turned to me with a look of exhaustion. “Ten times a day with that shit.” She leaned her back and groaned. “One of my asshole boyfriends even ordered the damn outfit once.”

  
Lucky bastard…

   “Anyway… What did you do before all this?”

   “I was a contractor in Palm Coast, Florida. Walt worked with me. We mainly replaced windows for rich people… Basically, not much to my story.”

   “Yeah, me either. And now, we have nothing but bad stories.”

   When I heard much heavier footsteps making their way down the hall, I assumed Allen was coming to look for Veronica because he woke up and she was gone.

   As soon as she could see that it was him she said “You too?”

   “Of course.”

   “Yeah, it’s hard to relax when thousands of those things are so close by.”

   Allen walked over by the front entrance and gazed out into the parking lot. “So this is it now, huh? Just sit around until it’s time to move again?”

   “Or we run out of food...”

   “When I left, I noticed Brian’s breathing seemed to have calmed down a little. Maybe he’s starting to get better.”

   Suddenly, a booming voice filled the hall. It sounded like Brian was yelling, but I couldn’t make out the words. Allen took off before Veronica and I even made it out of our seats.

   As I ran down the hall, I heard Brian yell out “Jessie! They’re comin!” His words were slurred and I could hear crashing and banging that suggested someone was trying to subdue him.

   When I made it to the room, Allen was already helping Jenny and Walt keep Brian pinned to the bed. Allen was covering his mouth as he continued to try and yell out. Jenny snapped “Take my place so I can put him back to sleep. The fever has him really confused. He’s probably hallucinating.”

  
He’s not getting better at all…

   The moment Jenny removed the syringe from Brian’s arm and he began to fade, she let herself fall back into a chair near the bed. She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. Her voice was shaking and her whole body trembled and she said “I don’t know what else to do.”

   When Jenny started to cry, I realized that it was the first time I’ve seen her break down. When Jessie was killed our situation didn’t allow her the time to think about crying, even though I know she wanted to. I remember the look on her face as though it happened hours ago.

   To see her in such a state had me convinced that Brian’s fate was sealed.

   Jenny took a deep breath through her nose to clear it out and coughed several times before she stood up and asked Walt to shine the flashlight on Brian’s back. When she peeled away the bandage from the bite wound, I heard Veronica quietly gasp. The rest of us just stared in silence.

   It was so inflamed, and the surrounding veins were so red that it almost looked fake – like something from a horror movie. When Jenny lightly pressed on the wound with her finger, the puss just oozed right out and ran down his side.

   She softly said “By tomorrow he’s going to be in so much pain… the pills won’t help. If I let him wake up it’ll just be into a world of agony and confusion.”

   “Isn’t there still a chance we could start to see a change by morning?” I asked pleadingly.

   “Yes… a very, very small one.”

Chapter 15

   I woke up in one of the chairs near Brian’s bed, right next to Clara. She was leaning against me, still fast asleep. I blinked a few times and looked around the room to find that everyone else but Jenny was gone.

   Jenny was wide awake, watching Brian’s back sporadically move up and down as he struggled to maintain a normal breathing pattern. He was sweating so profusely that the entire bed appeared to be wet to the touch.

   I gently moved Clara aside, eased my way out of the chair and walked over to Jenny. “Have you checked it?”

   Without hesitation, she said “It’s worse.”

   I took in a deep breath and felt my spine shiver as I sat down next to her. “What do we do?”

   “There truly still is a chance he could miraculously start to get better by tonight, or even tomorrow. Anything’s possible. The antibiotics could be hard at work – hours away from beginning to win the war.”

   “So, we wait.”

   “I want to wake him up, even though it’ll cause him so much pain… If we wait too long he won’t even be able to say goodbye. Just like Anthony.” Her glistening eyes moved to me. “Am I being selfish? Don’t you think he would want to say goodbye?”

   I glanced over at Clara to make sure she was still asleep and said “Would you?”

   She thought for a moment and then began to nod. “I would.”

   “Me too. And I think Brian would agree… but what about last night? Isn’t the fever making him hallucinate?”

   She stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder. “It spiked last night for whatever reason. It’s not as bad right now.”

   Just as I was about to ask if that was a good sign, she said “It’ll be back… and the sleeping meds should ware off soon.”

   I pushed myself out of the chair and headed for the door. “I’ll go tell the others.”

   Normally, this was one of those times where I’d walk with my head down and my eye to the floor. Deep in thought. But all the blood only made things worse.

   Walt and the others were standing outside talking. They all turned back and watched me approach. Walt said “Is Jenny awake yet?”

   “Yeah, she’s up.”

   “What did she say about Brian?”

   I sighed and took a long pause. “She’s going to let him wake up so we can say goodbye. Just in case… But she says he’s getting worse. Noticed his breathing was off when I left the room just now… She says it’s going to be very painful for him when wakes up, so let’s be there waiting so it doesn’t last too long.”

   The walk down the hall seemed to last forever. The combination of our heavy and dragging footsteps pounding against the hard tile sounded so chaotic in the large and empty space.

   Jenny and Clara watched as we came in, one by one, and sat around Brian. He would have looked so peaceful if it wasn’t for his breathing… It made it seem like he was in horrible pain, even though he was still sleeping.

   Like so many times before, there was nothing to do but wait and see if everything was going to be okay, or if everything was going to shit. And judging by Brian, everything wasn’t going to be okay…

   Several more hours passed and Jenny became concerned enough to try and rouse him. “He should be waking up on his own by now.” She shook and squeezed his hand. “Unless it’s worse than I thought.”

   No matter how hard Jenny tried, Brian’s only responses were a series of groans, jumbled up words and the names of people even Jenny had never heard of.

   She collapsed back into the chair again and turned toward the window. The blinds were only up a few inches, so I walked over and opened them about halfway. There was a long field that lead to more of the same type of massive trees I’d come to admire.

   It wasn’t long before my minutely comforting view was interrupted by two shredders wandering around by the trees. “Walt, Allen.” I said as I motioned for them to join me by the window. “You see them? Walk around the building and take care of them. Then hang out a few minutes to make sure more don’t show up.”

   I stood at the window and waited for Walt and Allen to come into view. The shredders were rather far, so they walked about twenty yards out into the field before they came to a stop and raised their rifles. Allen was the first to fire, and Walt pulled the trigger no more than a second later. They both succeeded in only spending one bullet per shredder.

   I turned back to Jenny and said “What does this mean?”

   “It means he’s too far gone. We waited too long to come here… Or he was doomed from the start.”

   “How long does he have?”

   “Hours or days, there’s no way to know… Sepsis can be either a very quick or very slow death.”

   “You can just keep him asleep, right?.. I mean, there isn’t even the smallest chance anymore?”  

   “No.”

   Not a word was said until Allen and Walt came back in the room. “So, you’re just going to let him suffer?” Clara asked.

   Walt and Allen exchanged saddened glances – knowing her question meant Jenny had finally confirmed his imminent death.

   I felt my mouth open, but nothing came out. Jenny replied “Not for much longer, Clara. I just want to wait until the end of the day… Just to be completely sure… If he doesn’t change, I’ll overdose him with sleeping meds so he can fade away in peace.”

Chapter 16

   When Brian still hadn’t improved by nightfall, Jenny went back on her claim and decided to wait until morning. I couldn’t help but agree, even if it was selfish…
Sometimes people just suddenly start bouncing back from things like this…

   Last night, Walt demanded the first watch, claiming he wanted some alone time. I didn’t argue.

   As I stood outside and watched the sunrise, I already knew today would be the day that Jenny lets Brian go. Just a few hours ago, I snuck into the room to check on him. His breathing was even more labored, almost to the point where it was nonexistent. He would only momentarily come to life when pain shot throughout his body and slightly roused him.

   I knew the sunlight coming in the window would have everyone awake soon. I just didn’t want to go back to that room.

   After another cigarette, I forced myself to head inside. Even though I didn’t want to watch him die, and he’d have no idea whether I was there or not, I still wanted to be there out of respect. It may technically be meaningless, especially since we barely know each other, but I still felt he deserved it. And that it would mean something to me…

   They were all awake, surrounding the bed. The first thing I noticed when I walked in the room was the syringe resting on the small table next to Jenny. All eyes were on me as I approached. Jenny, stone faced, said “We’ve all decided to get back on the road as soon as possible. There’s no way this place will be safe for very long.”

   Jenny reached over and took the syringe in her hand. “When Brian found out he was going to the International Space station, the first thing he thought of was how proud his father would be... It was the only time I’ve ever seen him cry… He cared more about his father’s happiness than his own. Knowing he was going to further his career and experience something that rivals the greatest dreams was merely secondary.”

   She took several steps forward and stopped at his side. “His father had lung cancer. He died before Brian actually went, but he had just enough time to give him the news… Brian went back to Afghanistan a second time because he couldn’t bare knowing he was no longer there to protect his friends. He didn’t care about politics or holy wars – it was that simple.”

   She paused for a few moments. The syringe kept catching and leaving the light as her hands began to shake and she moved closer. “That’s just who he was. Someone who put others before himself… The exact type of person this world so desperately needs now.”

   It made me feel guilty, but I was finding it easier and easier to hold back my emotions. My sadness didn’t burn any less for Brian than it did for Melanie, Anthony or Jessie. I was simply capable of keeping it inside now.

   When Jenny put the syringe in Brian’s arm, I felt a sharp pain in my chest and a rush of harsh emotion, but it simply faded away and turned into an immobilizing depression…
Am I going to become so accustom to losing people I care about that it doesn’t even affect me anymore?

   I panned over to Clara. She’d curled into the same position that Melanie did the day her husband died. Her feet were up on the chair and her head was resting on her arms and knees. The only difference was that she kept her head up just enough to watch Brian take his last breath.

   I was glad to know the others wanted to leave as soon as possible. It’s all I could think about as I slipped out of the room and headed toward the front desk in the lobby. I began stuffing my pockets with car keys so I could go outside and see what our options were. It was a good way to get my mind off of Brian.

   After watching the lights flash on twenty cars we couldn’t use, I finally noticed a white SUV winking at me.

   I took the rest of the keys out of my pockets and dropped them on the ground near the others I’d already discarded. It was some type of new Buick SUV, so I automatically assumed it was everything we were looking for. After opening the back door and seeing seating for eight, I checked the trunk to make sure it was large enough.

   It was perfect. It even had close to a full tank of gas.

   When I pulled up to the front of the building, Allen and Veronica were standing outside next to the Cadillac with the trunk popped open, ready to start transferring our supplies. I hopped out, and Allen said “I’m sorry, James.”

   “We just have to be more careful from now on.” I said as I opened the trunk to the Buick and walked past them to start carrying over our supplies. They silently began helping as Walt walked out and said “I think Jenny and Clara want a little more time.”

   When Walt saw we were already getting ready to leave, and that I’d found the car we really needed, he said “Yeah, let’s have everything ready to go so they don’t even have to think about it.”

   Walt grabbed our duffle bag from the trunk of the Cadillac and stopped in my path. “We should be looking for a safe place to stay for a while, even permanently, not going off on some fuckin suicide mission for a fantasy safe-zone.”

   “What other choice to do we have? We’ve tried just about everything, we’ve almost driven across two states and there is nowhere safe… And there aren’t enough of us to make a place truly safe… If we stay somewhere we’ll continue to lose people or even die ourselves, and the same thing will happen if we keep going. The difference is that if we keep going we might actually find a safe place to live.”

   “James, all we have do is clear out one real grocery store and we’ll have enough food to last us until they die off.”

   “Yeah, well we don’t have enough people to do something like that. That’s what I keep telling you… Look, if we actually come across an opportunity to be able to do that without it being a suicide mission, I’ll happily switch right over to your side… Until then, this is the only plan we’ve got that might amount to something.”

   Allen and Veronica were purposely staying out of our “discussion” but I wanted their input. “What do you two think? Do you have any ideas?”

   “I think we’re in constant danger no matter what we do. Might as well keep going.” Veronica said, accompanied by a shrug suggesting uncertainty.

   Allen looked at Walt in an apologetic fashion. “I don’t like the idea either, but I have to agree with your brother.”

   I said “Sometimes the only paths you can take are all covered in shit…”

   Walt scoffed “I guess we’ll find out how much.”

   After we finished and I shut the trunk, I turned around to see Jenny and Clara walking down the hall. Clara was tightly holding her hand – just like she used to do with Melanie. I hoped it was a sign that she was ready to connect with someone again.