Tryst (4 page)

Silence fell between us. It was like a heavy snowfall over the room, muffling all sounds. I was a smart girl. I could read between the lines. And what he was really saying was
,
Sleep with me like everyone else here and I will overlook what happened today
.

Why
was it I couldn’t get my own husband to sleep with me, yet this clump nugget was more than willing?

He looked at me encouragingly, nodding yes like that was going to somehow hypnotize me into repeating the answer.

I smiled sweetly. “Thank you for your concern, Dr. Asik. I’m afraid I’m busy tonight. And every night after that.”

His eyes turned dark. His lips pinched. “Are you sure?”

Once again, I was misjudged by a man who thought I would literally give in to what he wanted. “One hundred percent.”

He sighed
like there was a pain in his side. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go.”

Shock rippled through me. “What?”

“As I said, you’re not a team player and you demonstrated today that putting the patient first was difficult for you. Here at this office we strive to make the patient feel as comfortable as possible. Gather your things. You’re fired.”

He left the office without another glance.

I sank down in the desk chair that was no longer mine.

I guess that answered that.

This day most certainly could get worse.

Talie

We met at an outdoor restaurant, one of the nicest in Raleigh. Over the smooth concrete patio was a huge white gazebo dripping in spring flowers in the color of lilac. The tables were all pristine white and the white chairs were adorned with apple-green and strawberry-colored cushions. It wasn’t hot, partially because it was only eleven a.m. but also because there were ultra-quiet, discreet fans tucked around the eatery to ensure a cooling breeze.

The servers were all dressed in white with the men wearing bright
-green ties and the females wearing strawberry-colored ones. All of them walked with grace and many carried large glass pitchers of lemonade and ice water.

My steps faltered when I saw Jack sitting at the table with Joanna. I rarely saw him,
except for holidays and special occasions. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever seen him this early in the day on a workday.

As I made my way to the table
, I couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful couple they made. Joanna with her thick, luxurious hair that was always sleek, even sitting outside in the southern humidity. She was wearing a lemon-yellow cardigan with a necklace made of white metal flowers. Her figure was thin and tight despite giving birth to twins. Jack was sitting to her left and he was dressed in a dove-gray suit, white dress shirt, and peacock-blue silk tie. His face was shaven and smooth, and his hair was the color of caramel. In all honesty, I’d always thought he looked a little like a young version of the late John F. Kennedy.

Neither of them spoke
. In fact, they looked off in opposite directions, and it struck me that while they looked beautiful together, they didn’t look like they were connected at all. Of course, I knew better. Joanna’s life was perfect, right down to her marriage. I knew she and Jack were close. She just thought showing too much affection in public was inappropriate.

They looked up when I appr
oached the table. Joanna smiled and Jack stood up like the southern gentleman he was. After I was seated across from him, he settled beside my sister again.

“Thank you for meeting me for lunch,” I said.

“Of course,” Joanna said, looking me over. I felt the scrutiny of her gaze, but for once I didn’t worry about it. I was too tired to care that I likely didn’t measure up. “You look tired.”

Being cheated on, fi
red from my job, and sleeping on my best friend’s couch (because I was practically homeless) made a girl sort of tired. After getting canned at work yesterday, I went back to Claire’s and had a good cry. Then I cleaned her apartment (I thought maybe cleaning could be my new therapist since I had to fire Dunkin Donuts) before drowning my sorrows in a couple margaritas.

My life was literally falling apart and I had no idea where to even begin to rebuild it. It was almost too much too soon. I walked around feeling the weight of a thousand pounds. It was hard to breathe, hard to move
, and the constant nagging of my worried thoughts threatened to drive me slowly insane.

This
was not how my life was supposed to be.

I decided not to comment on the fact I looked tired. Instead
, I changed the subject. “I’m surprised to see you here,” I said to Jack.

He smiled and sipped at his ice water. “You
’re family,” he said simply.

The simple statement eased a little of that pressure in my chest. I might be losing everything
, but I did still have my family. I took a moment before I replied, afraid my wobbly voice would betray me.

“Joanna asked you to draw up divorce papers?”

She made a little sound of protest, but I ignored her. The waitress approached our table and Joanna waved her away, requesting a few more moments.

“I have to say, I was surprised by the request
,” Jack said.

“Well
, I was surprised when I found Blake having sex with another woman,” I snapped.

“Talie!” Joanna scolded. She looked around to make sure no one had heard. Like I was admitting to some contagious disease.

“What do you want me to say, Jo-Jo?” I asked wearily. “I can put a bow on it and make it sound prettier, but it’s still the same.”

“This is what I was afraid of,” she said, glancing at Jack. Their eyes met and they did that silent husband
-wife communication thing.

Blake and I never did that.

“I’m sitting right here,” I reminded them.

Joanna sat back and Jack leaned forward. “Are you sure you’ve thought this through?” he asked. “You’re under duress
. You aren’t yourself. Maybe you should take some time and think.”

And that
was why Jack was here. Joanna wanted backup. She thought he might talk me out of a divorce.

I looked him straight in the eye. “Have you ever cheated on my sister?”

Joanna gasped and sat forward. Jack seemed unperturbed by the question. Damn lawyers always kept their cool.

“Of course I haven’t.”

“And if you did, would you expect Joanna to stay with you?”

He cleared his throat, finally showing a little bit of unease.

“This is absurd, Natalie,” she hissed, using my full name.

“Would you?” I asked her. “Stay with him?”

“We have children,” she said, as if that explained everything.

I took that as a yes.

I lost a little respect for my sister in that moment. Maybe it wasn’t fair of me to judge her, but wasn’t that what she was doing to me at this very moment?

“Can I see the papers?” I turned to Jack.

He reached below the table and pulled a black briefcase into his lap. The stack of papers was neat and tidy, all stapled together with a single staple. A stack of papers and a pen was all I needed to end my marriage. To change my life. It seemed that after I promised to love someone forever through the good and bad, it shouldn’t be so easy to undo all those promises.

“Read through them
. If you have any questions, just call me,” Jack said gently.

“Do you have a pen?” I asked.

“Talie,” Joanna said. “You will not sign those here. Please think about this. Signing them would be a mistake.”

“You really think so?” I asked, sitting back while the waitress returned to fill all our glasses with icy water. Jack ordered an appetizer for the table
, and she left us alone once more.

“Talie,” Joanna said empathically. How is it that my older sister could always put the kind of emotion into her voice that only a sister could? It’s like my heart just automatically responded to that tone. Like it was a golden retriever trained to her command.

“Blake is a good man. His father built a very successful construction company that has become the number one go-to builder in Raleigh. Blake is poised to take over that company. He is very smart and business savvy. He’s going places, places you will go if you stay together.”

What kind of places was she talking about? Because the only place I could think about when I thought about staying with Blake was hell.

“I thought you wanted a home and a family?” she asked.

“I do.” It was what I wanted more than anything. I guess I was old
-fashioned that way. It wasn’t the way a modern woman should be thinking. I certainly was all for women’s equality, but there was something wonderful (to me) about having children and watching them grow, about having a home that I loved where I could water my roses and bake cookies in the kitchen. Was it really so wrong to just want a husband to love me, to think I’m beautiful, and to be surrounded by my children and grandchildren?

I thought I was going to have all that with Blake.

“You can still have that.”

“He cheated on me
,” I said, my voice hollow and raw.

“It was a mistake. Surely by now he’s seen the error of his ways. He knows what it’s like to come home to a house without you in it. Have you even talked to him?”

I shook my head.

She sighed. “At least talk to him. See what he has to say. Maybe he wants to make amends.”

She sounded so reasonable. Like it was all so possible. She made me feel like perhaps I overreacted. I glanced at Jack.

He nodded.

“I’ll talk to him,” I said. Joanna smiled. “But after that, I’m giving him the separation papers.” I didn’t bother to look at her reaction. Instead, I looked at Jack. “How long until the divorce can be finalized?”

“In North Carolina
, you have to be separated for one year before the divorce can go through.”

My lungs deflated. “An entire year?”

He nodded.

I guess a divorce wasn’t as simple as paper and pen after all. I didn’t know if I could deal with this for an entire year. That seemed so long.
I needed to get those separation papers signed as soon as possible so that one year could start.

The waitress came back with a large dish of some kind of dip and a basket of bread and s
et it between us on the table. My stomach lurched. I picked up the papers and tucked them under my arm. “I just remembered I can’t stay.”

I stood up, muttering an apology. “You two have a wonderful lunch.” Joanna looked like she was ready to try and change my mind. I’d had enough of that already. “Thanks Jack,” I said and then
raced away, turning the corner of the building and stopping to breathe a sigh of relief.

I pulled out my cell phone and hit a few buttons.

He answered on the first ring. His voice was like a sharp spear directly into my heart. I took a deep breath, ignoring the pain.

“We need to talk.”

Talie

We met at the scene of the crime
, aka: the house we shared up until two days ago. I knocked on the door when I arrived, the action totally strange and awkward. Who knocks on their own door?

But it wasn’t my door anymore.

I needed to remember that. This apartment ceased to be my home the moment I walked out rolling a few large suitcases behind me.

I would do what Joanna asked. I would talk to Blake, see where his head was. After this conversation
, maybe I would understand what happened. Maybe, just maybe, I would learn he really was regretful. For a fleeting moment, I imagined a grief-stricken Blake begging me to forgive him so we could start over again.

I wouldn’t have to leave my life. I wouldn’t have to abandon my dream of a family and a home. I wouldn’t have an entire year of separation to endure. Just the thought of everything going back to normal again eased a little of the tension that coiled at the base of my neck.

And then he opened the door.

Blake was a good
-looking man and he exuded charm. It practically dripped from his pores. I used to joke and tell him he didn’t need cologne because his natural pheromones made women fall at his feet.

I didn’t really think that joke was funny anymore.

He had a head of thick, dark hair he wore slightly long and pushed back in waves off his face. His skin was olive-toned and his eyes were dark. He looked like the Italian he was. His lips were full and lush, he had dimples on his cheeks when he smiled, and his teeth were white and straight.

A few of my co-workers (well
, EX-co-workers now) called him Gaston because he looked just like the guy in
Beauty and the Beast
who thought Belle should marry him. I never before saw the resemblance. But I did today.

And having seen
Beauty and the Beast
several times, I realized calling him Gaston wasn’t really a compliment. Sure he was a looker, but he was also a complete ass.

“Talie,” he said warmly. The sound of my name on his lips once threatened to send me into a puddle of mush. He opened the door all the way. “You know you don’t have to knock.”

“I think I do,” I said, brushing past him and into the apartment.

The tan leather couches, wooden coffee table
, and various neutral throw pillows tossed on the furniture were exactly the same. The landscapes on the walls, the oversized clock my parents bought us for Christmas, the way the dining room table leaned just a bit because one of the legs was mysteriously a little too short… it was all the same.

So why did it feel so different?

I stood in the center of the room, clutching the envelope of papers, taking it all in and trying not to feel torn and devastated. The words ripped from my throat before I could even think.

“How could you?”

I turned, my blurry eyes focusing on the man I honestly thought I would spend forever with. He swallowed, the thick Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed, and I stared at the open V the collar of his white dress shirt made against his skin.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

But he wasn’t sorry for doing it?
a voice demanded in the back of my mind.

“Would you be sorry if you hadn’t got caught?” I asked, wandering farther into the apartment. “Would you still be sleeping with her while I wondered why our sex life dropped off the face of this earth?”

He blanched. “You know I’ve been under a lot of stress at work.” He began. “Dad has been really putting the pressure on me to step up to the helm.”

I held up my hand. “Yes
, I know your work schedule is very demanding. Yet you still found time to fit in some quality time with your secretary. Why? Why not me?”

“It’s over,” he said.

“You fired her?” I asked, shock rippling through me. Maybe he really was sorry.

“You know I can’t do that!” he said. “She’d sue the company for sexual harassment. Do you know what something like that could do to the company’s reputation?”

How convenient. He was forced to keep her on. Forced to continue working with her. “It must be horrible to worry about what people will say when they learn what a cheating scumbag you are.”

A muscle ticked in the side of his jaw. “Natalie,” he warned.

“I had Jack draw up separation papers.” I pulled the stack of documents out of the envelope and then fished a pen out of my purse. “It’s marked where we need to sign.”

“You can’t be serious.” He actually sounded surprised.

I raised an eyebrow. “What did you think would happen?”

“This is just extreme!” he said, flinging his hands up in the air. “I didn’t say anything when you packed your bags and left. I didn’t say anything when you moved into Claire’s apartment. I didn’t even give you a hard time when you refused to answer any of my phone calls.”

“What the hell do you want? A medal?” My insides began to boil. He acted like I was the one being unreasonable. Did I know him at all?

“But I’m drawing the line at separation papers, Talie
,” he said, like he was the lord of all.

“You can draw as many lines as you want
.” I sniffed. “After you sign these papers. I’ll even loan you my pen.”

He made an angry growl in the back of his throat. “I am not signing those papers.”

“Do you really want to make this harder than it needs to be?”

“Do you?”
He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Me?” I choked. “
You
are the one who cheated.
You
are the one with no regard for my feelings.
You
are responsible for this,
not
me.”

“So I had a little fling. A tryst. It meant nothing to me.”

“It’s not nothing to me!” I shouted.

“The neighbors
…” He reminded me.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s all you care about, isn’t it? Appearances. You care more about how a divorce will look than actually losing me.”

“That’s not true.”

“It isn’t?”

He sighed like I was being a petulant child.

“T
hen why haven’t you apologized for what you did. Why haven’t you told me that you love me and only me? Why haven’t you begged me for forgiveness?”

“I tried calling you.”

“You knew where I was. Did you come by? Did you make an attempt to seek me out?” I pressed, emotion and anger welling up inside me until I felt overfull and about to burst. “You didn’t because you don’t care enough.”

“I was giving you time to cool off. To see reason.”

“And what ‘reason’ is that?”

“We are not getting a separation.”

“You’re right. I want a divorce.”

The words fell between us like an iron anvil. I couldn’t help but notice the shock deep in his eyes. Was my reaction really that surprising?

“You can’t divorce me,” he said haughtily. He might have well said,
Don’t you know who I am?

I didn’t bother to reply
. Instead, I went over to the dining room table where I laid the papers out and proceeded to sign all the places marked with a yellow arrow. When I was finished, I looked up.

“Talie,” he said
, coming forward. He took the pen out of my hand and laid it on the table. He took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“You did,” I admitted, my voice low.

“I know, baby,” he said, drawing me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me. “We can get through this. We can put it behind us and move on. Don’t you want to have a baby?”

He knew I wanted a baby. I wanted one passionately.

“Everything’s changed,” I said, my voice muffled against him.

He made a sound of disagreement and stroked the back of my head. I suddenly felt like I was a dog being patted on the head.
“Nothing’s changed if you don’t want it to be. Tear up these papers. Come home. I’ll take over the company and we can start a family. You’ll be a mother just like you always dreamed.”

Blake palmed my face and pulled me back to look into my eyes. I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up inside them. He was offering me everything we planned. Everything I wanted.

“What about
her
?” I said bitterly.

“Don’t think about her
,” he said gently. “
You’re
my wife. You’re the one I chose to marry. The one I chose to give my name.”

He made it sound like I won the lottery or something. What about love?

“Once the baby comes, you’ll be so busy you won’t even have time to think of her. I’ll be discreet and—”

I jerked like he slapped me. He might as well have the way his words stung. “You’ll be discreet?” I said, yanking myself away.

He sighed wearily.

“You mean to tell me you have no intention of not sleeping around on me?”

I always thought of Blake as a smart man… but I’d never heard anything more asinine come out of anyone’s mouth. Ever.

“I’m a successful, powerful man
,” he replied. “I have needs that you just can’t fulfill.”

Oh. My. God.

Did he really just say that? Out loud? To my face?

I was speechless. Completely and utterly speechless.

He must have taken my silence for compliance because the idiot shoved his foot even farther down his throat. “But, baby, you are my only wife. The mother to my unborn children. It will be you at my side for all my achievements, your name splashed across the business pages in connection to mine. You’ll never want for anything.”

“
Except a husband who loves me. Who respects me. Who wants only me.”

“This isn’t some fairytale, Talie. This is the real world.”

I didn’t realize love and respect was only for the movies. Silly me.

I picked up the pen. “Sign the papers.”

His eyes widened.

“If you think I’m the type of girl who will sit home and take care of your kids while you go shove your dick into any hole that will take you
, just so I can have the prestige of your name, then you have no clue who the hell you married.”

Twin spots of pink flushed his cheeks. “That was crude.”

“Yeah? Well, it’s nothing compared to what I’m thinking.”

“We’re married. For better or worse. We are not getting divorced.”

“Oh, we are,” I said, rising up to my full five feet two inches. “And if you don’t sign these papers right now, the name that you so graciously gave me on our wedding day will be filling up the gossip columns around here. Whatever will your daddy say about that?”

He paled. “You wouldn’t.”

“Freaking try me.”

He studied me for long moments
, and I didn’t back down. I meant it. I was so utterly shocked and horrified by the things he just said to me that I could barely breathe. But I wasn’t going to let him see that. He’d only try to use it to his advantage. I was going to be a freaking pillar of strength until I left here.

He must have realized because he signed the papers.

“This isn’t over,” he said, handing me back the pen.

“Oh, but it is.”

He pursed his lips. “I changed all the passwords on the bank accounts. Don’t think of trying to clean me out again.”

“Oh
…” I made a little shocked face. “I thought that was
our
money and not just yours.”

“You know damn well who brings home the bacon
,” he snapped. “Your job is basically something to fill your time.”

I didn’t bother mentioning I was no longer employed.

That would be embarrassing.

Thank goodness I “cleaned him out” when I did. At least now I had enough money to last me a few months before I would be totally broke. By then
, I would hopefully have another job.

I picked up the papers, the papers making our separation official. “I’ll have these filed immediately.”

“Enjoy your little tantrum now, Talie,” Blake called behind me. “Because when you come back to me, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior.”

I laughed.

“Laugh now,” he replied. “You won’t be laughing when you realize I’m the only man that will ever want you.”

His words pierced something inside me. Something close to my heart withered a little. Those words hurt me, probably more than they should. I knew the reason they hurt so much was because he was voicing a fear I never wanted to admit.

The truth was no one had been interested before Blake, and I secretly realized no one else would be after him either.

Even so, I kept walking.

I’d rather be single than married and utterly alone.