Tucker (The Family Simon) (13 page)

The tears that had threatened slowly fell from Abby’s eyes. She sniffled as Abby let go of her hand and then reached for the napkin. After dabbing her eyes, she managed a half smile.

“That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Betty Jo nodded. “I know. I find the truth usually is.”

“You’re friend Matt sounds as if he’s got his shit together.”

“No.” Betty looked sad. “Not at all. He’s actually the most fucked up person I know. But even he still has hope.”

Abby thought about it for a moment. “But what if I’m not strong enough? What if Tucker not loving me back is just too much? What then?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out on your own, but if this helps, I can tell you with all certainty that Tucker Simon has very strong feelings for you. I think that he’s already in love with you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Shocked, Abby slumped in her seat, half dazed and way too full of emotional stuff to do anything but stare at the bowl of strawberries in front of her.

“Good morning, Abby. You look a little pale. Are you all right?”
Abby took a moment, and when she thought there was at least an illusion that she looked like a capable woman who had her shit together, she smiled up at Eden Simon. Tucker’s mother returned the smile, a gentle look in her eyes as she reached over and grabbed a strawberry.

“Lovely brunch, don’t you think?”

Abby nodded, still not trusting her voice.

“The reception was wonderful as well,” Eden continued.

Betty snorted
softly
, but Abby managed to form a coherent sentence. “Yes, it was beautiful. The bride was so happy and the music was…” She thought of the slow dance she’d shared with Tucker on the patio and tried like hell not to blush. “The music was really good.”

“Yes,” Eden said, grabbing another strawberry. “It was. Though you and Tucker, well you left early, didn’t you?”

There was a teasing note in her voice, but it did nothing to quiet the nerves going crazy inside of Abby.

Abby looked at Betty Jo helplessly, but the woman’s eyes were fixed to the right.

“Oh,” Eden murmured as the woman followed Betty Jo’s gaze.

Abby glanced toward Tucker and his brother, and spied an older couple. There were hellos and Tucker set down his plates. He shook the man’s hand, said a few words and then the woman hugged him fiercely. Beau glanced their way, and Abby could tell by the look on his face that something was up.

Tucker’s father walked over to his sons and more greetings went round. A few seconds later, the entire group made their way back to the table.

Abby shot another look at Betty Jo but she shrugged slightly as if she had no idea who the couple was.

Eden smiled warmly. “Kate. Jason. We didn’t know you were at the hotel. We would have…” Her eyes moved over Abby and then back—it was a quick glance really, nondescript, and yet it made Abby uncomfortable. Something was happening, but she had no idea what it was.

“We would have loved to have seen you. Dinner or something,” Eden continued.

“We had no idea you were here, either. I’m in town for a medical convention,” the man said. “But we ran into your daughter, Grace, in the lobby just now. So we had to say hello. It’s been…too long and unfortunately, we’re heading home.”

“Ah,” Eden cleared her throat and Abby picked up on a nervous thread, like an electric pulse that touched all of them.

Tucker still hadn’t looked at Abby, though he’d set a plate in front of her, and she didn’t have to look up at the woman to know her eyes were settled on Abby. They’d found her from across the room and were stuck to Abby like glue.

She didn’t seem unkind, just puzzled, as if trying to work something out.

“And who’s this?” The woman named Kate asked, her eyes still on Abby.

There was an uncomfortable silence and then Tucker spoke in a rush. “This is my friend, Abby Mathews. We had a family wedding and she was nice enough to brave my crazy family and keep me company.”

Abby’s stomach tumbled, and she gripped the glass in front of her as if it was a lifeline. Uncomfortable didn’t come close to describing the charged atmosphere, and Tucker was behaving as if…

As if last night hadn’t happened.

Noah Simon looked as if he didn’t know what to do or say, and Tucker’s face was hard. It was hard and closed off. She’d never seen him like this.

“Well that was certainly nice of you. Hello, Abby. I don’t think we’ve met before,” the woman said pleasantly, though her eyes were strangely blank. There was no menace there, but Abby got the feeling that the woman wasn’t a fan. “I’m Marley’s mother.”

Abby felt as if her face was glass, and if she did or said the wrong thing, it would shatter.

“We’re Tucker’s in-laws.”

Chapter Fifteen

The ride to the airport was quiet, and so was the flight itself. In fact the entire trip home was made up of small talk that didn’t matter, and a whole bunch of silence to fill in the cracks.

Jesus.

Kate and Jason. He hadn’t seen that coming. Tucker frowned as he grabbed his bag and hitched it over his shoulder, and then scooped up Abby’s from the carousel. He’d called ahead, and there was a cab waiting just outside.

“Car should be here,” he offered, not knowing how to fix the strain between them.

Abby attempted a smile and nodded, turning toward the exit.

He felt like an absolute shit.

“Abby.” Dammit, he knew things were wrong. They were wrong and sideways and totally fucked up. How had he gone from having such an amazing night with Abby to this in less than twelve hours?

He followed her outside and spotted their cab driver. It was the guy who’d dropped them off only a few days earlier.

Once their stuff was stowed, he slipped into the back seat.

“Abby,” he tried again. “Can we talk about this?”

“Not now, Tucker. Please can we just….” She sighed and looked out the window so all he saw was her profile. “Can we just…not?”

Tucker unclenched his hands and sat in silence, watching the lights stream by as the cab sped through the early evening. Fall had taken hold of New York City and it was brisk out. The wind picked up and leaves flew chaotically in the air. Soon they would be gone and winter would transform the colorful palette into something stark and cold and beautiful.

Sunday traffic was light and the ride didn’t seem to take forever as could be the case in the city. Abby was out of the cab almost before it pulled up in front of her building, and Tucker jumped out. He wasn’t leaving things like this.

He wasn’t leaving. Period.

“Tucker. What are you…?”

She watched as he grabbed his bag from the trunk and paid the driver. Shaking her head, Abby took a step back. He knew that he’d hurt her—not intentionally, but he’d hurt her nonetheless. And he knew that she was confused by the way he’d reacted at brunch. At the way he’d handled the entire situation. Hell, he didn’t know if he could explain, but he had to at least try. This here, with her, meant something.

Abby Mathews wanted to retreat, but dammit, he wasn’t going to let her.

“We’re not done,” he said, nodding to the driver.

The cabbie took off, the exhaust a plume of hot smoke in the cold air. Abby turned toward him, and his gut rolled over. Were those tears in her eyes?

“I think this was a mistake.”

Shit.

“All of it,” she continued. “The wedding. Us. Last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He moved an inch or two so that he could touch her and was grateful when she didn’t turn from him. He slid his hand behind her neck and felt the warmth. The weight of her hair traveled across the back of his forearm, and he inhaled that subtle fresh scent that was all Abby.

“You’re wrong,” he replied quietly.

“How can you say that?” she said, trying to jerk away from him. “This morning you acted as if…as if last night never happened. As if I was nothing more than a plus one. And I don’t want to sound like a cliché or anything, but Tucker, I am the cliché. I’m the girl you took away for a weekend and screwed.” She made a weird noise and muttered. “I knew this would happen. What the hell is wrong with me?”

He let her go and swore. He was frustrated. More than a little pissed off. And confused as hell. Running his hand across the back of his neck, he decided that the only way he was going to make things right was to be as honest as he could. He had to at least try and figure out how to put into words the stuff that was inside him.

“I’m sorry, Abby. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I didn’t know Kate and Jason were there. I had no idea, and seeing them…Christ,
seeing
them threw me for a loop. They weren’t just my in-laws, Abigail. We were close, you know? They were family. And after Marley…after she disappeared…”

He closed his eyes, chest tight as images and emotions and even smells from back then caught him hard. It had been such a dark and chaotic time. The press had been in a frenzy. There were so many unanswered question. So much hope and despair and then….

“For those first few weeks, Jason and Kate kept me sane. They came to Florida and stayed with me while my parents handled the press, the police, the search and rescue…Marley’s parents kept me alive, and I probably did the same for them.”

He exhaled, ran his hands over the stubble on his chin and looked across the street. A rough-looking tabby slinked down the sidewalk, tail twitching erratically, head swiveling back and forth. Tucker followed its progress for a few moments. Sometimes he felt like that cat. Always looking. Always searching for something. At one time, it was all about Marley, but now…now he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for.

“I haven’t seen them since last Thanksgiving. I didn’t even realize it had been that long until Kate mentioned it. I just kind of fell away from them.” Hell, he’d fallen away from everybody. The only constant in his life over the past year was standing right in front of him. That had to mean something.

“Things are weird enough without me throwing you in their face. Jesus, Abby. They still think Marley is coming back.” His voice faltered a bit. “They think that she’s out there. Somewhere. Trying to get back to us.”

“Do you?” The words were soft, and he barely heard them. “Do you think she’s coming back?”

Slowly, he turned back to her. For several long moments, the two of them stared at each other without speaking.

“No,” he said finally, and Tucker couldn’t lie. It hurt like hell to say it. “I don’t think Marley is coming back, and I haven’t thought that for a very long time.”

Abby shivered from the cold, her dark eyes huge as she stared up at him.

“So what are we doing then? You and me? I don’t want to be just the cliché, Tucker. I don’t want to be that girl who doesn’t mean more than a scratch for an itch when it needs scratching.” She blew out a breath. “We’re more than that and even though I’m not sure what exactly we have, I sure as hell thought that I was more than just a…a…a fuck.”

Shit. How could he make her understand?

He reached for her again and was grateful that she let him pull her in close. Wrapping his arms around her, Tucker closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feel of her. The smell of her. The fact that this woman was here with him, even if they were in the middle of the sidewalk attracting more than their fair share of attention.

“Abby, you gotta know that you’re so much more than that.” He rested his chin on top of her head. “You’re my best friend.”

He said the words and was more than a little startled at the punch of emotion that hit him in the gut. And also the ever-expanding ball of confusion. He needed to be brutally honest with the both of them.

Gently he pulled away, only a few inches, but he needed to see her, and she needed to know the absolute truth.

“We decided the other night to see where this goes, but the other night we were both buzzing with a hell of a lot of sexual need. And I think we both know that sex can screw things up. It clouds judgment and sometimes makes things that are small seem so much more than they really are.”

He waited a few seconds, trying to gather his scattered thoughts.

“But last night wasn’t small. Last night was incredible, and I can’t lie. I want you again. Christ, I want you
right now
, but…”

“But,” she whispered, leaning into his palm, those big eyes staring up at him as if she could see into his soul.

“You said you wanted to see where this leads. That you were willing to take it day by day. Abby I want that. I do. But you gotta understand that when Marley left, she took a piece of me with her. I don’t think I’ll ever get it back. There’s a part of me that’s just not…right. You have to know that it’s not you. It’s me. I’m the one who’s fucked up, and I don’t want you to…”

He looked at her helplessly. Was he even making sense?

“You don’t want me to fall in love with you.”

A car honked. Someone yelled at them to “get a room.” They ignored all of it.

“I’m afraid if we keep on doing whatever the hell it is that we’re doing, you’re going to get hurt. ” There it was. It was all he had. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The way Tucker saw it, he would never love another woman. It was something that he wouldn’t allow. He’d barely survived Marley, and he was damn sure that he wouldn’t survive another dance with that devil. Love wasn’t in the cards for him, and he’d come to terms with that.

But he was sick of drifting. Sick of searching.

He was sick of being that damn tabby cat. So where exactly did that leave him? Did he end things before they began with Abby? Did he go back to the nameless, faceless sex that didn’t matter? Did he go back to the Sonya Devonishes of the world? Or did he walk the road alone?

He exhaled roughly. “You know what? Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

“Okay,” she said softly.

“What was that?” His thoughts scattered as he focused on Abby.

“I promise that I won’t fall in love with you.”

A pause. This was unfamiliar territory, and he wasn’t exactly sure how to proceed.

“Abby,” he said, more than a little hesitant. Should he be happy to hear those words? Because it wasn’t happy coursing through him. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was.