TUCKER: Valley Enforcers, #3 (9 page)

You can’t lie to yourself forever, Tucker. You know what you expected. You know why you made the drive. You can pretend all you want, but at the end of the day that doesn’t make the truth go away.

Though Emily finished eating before me, she waited until I was done to move her plate to the sink. I followed, nearly tripping over Echo on the way. Em had given us both heaping servings so there were no leftovers.

“I’m not in the mood to do dishes right now. On a scale of one to crazy cat lady who doesn’t throw away newspapers, how gross would you think I am if I just left these overnight.”

I whistled. “Man, Em. Not doing your dishes? Wow. What a rebel.”

“Shut up.” She elbowed me playfully. “I don’t want to destroy the illusion that I have my life put together. People who have their shit together do their dishes. That’s a fact.”

“I must be real far from having it all figured out then because the pizza pan from the night you stayed over is still sitting on top of my stove.”

Her lips parted and she tried to figure out if I was telling the truth. I was. She gave a high pitched laugh – the kind that erupt from you core. “That’s so gross, Tucker!”

“I haven’t gotten around to washing it! I’ve been busy with work and family stuff. I did pick up some groceries though, so that’s a plus, right?”

“At least the rest of your place was clean.”

“It’s kind of hard to make messes when you’re never home. We’re short staffed, so I’ve been pulling a lot of extra shifts.” I hesitated before adding, “That’s confidential.”

Emily rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the living room. “Who am I going to tell? Echo? Hey, Echo! I heard Tucker’s clan is short staffed. Want to go chop down their trees and sacrifice babies or something?”

Apparently on board with the plan, Echo’s tongue slipped out of her mouth and she let out a little bark of approval before turning her head to me and tilting it as if to say, “Now what?”

“Totally not funny. Last summer someone pretended to be Bigfoot so he could expose us.” Again, the confidential information seemed to flow freely. If Deacon somehow found out that I was talking to a wolf from another clan I’d probably have a harsh punishment that would involve a few angry scars and a demotion.

“You’re kidding, right?” When I didn’t say anything, her eyes went round. “Holy hell. Someone watched one too many shows on the Discovery Channel.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” The memory of the mostly innocent accomplice lying dead on the floor in Hakeem’s garage flashed into my brain. My nose twitched, and it was almost like I could smell the rancid mixture of death, vomit and urine.

A delicate palm brushed against my cheek. Against my scar. Instead of grounding me, I was sucked in deeper. This memory took me to the Ignis reserve where my bear lumbered on two legs outside the massive hotel like structure that housed their clan. It was my first real taste of an enemy fight, and my inexperience would be etched into my face forever. I was in animal form when the claw intended for my neck dug into my cheek, but the damage had been so extensive that even an exhausting round of forced shifts at the hand of my Alpha hadn’t healed the wound.

I didn’t really have nightmares. Not about the attack or the things I did to protect my clan. The occasional phantom pains and haunting flashbacks were a small price to pay. Really, what I went through was nothing compared to some of the other Enforcers. Barrel and George were old enough to remember the days before Deacon became Alpha. Hakeem had helped end a bloody war. And Vex had ripped his mate’s attacker to shreds. Hell, even Deacon and Dean had more battle scars than I did.

“Tucker. Tuck. Tuck. Hey, you’re scaring me. Tucker!”

I locked onto the sweet as sin voice and the scent of her coconut shampoo and pulled myself out of my head. Emily stood in front of me, hands gripping my biceps and a worried look on her face. Those emerald eyes sparked with concern and she nibbled anxiously on her bottom lip.

“I’m fine,” I said, clearing my throat.

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Jesus, Tucker. What happened? You scared the shit out of me.” In a move totally that seemed totally out of character considering the conversation that had just taken place over our meal, she stood on her toes and leaned into me. Her lips brushed against my chin and then my lips. It was soft and delicate and held just enough emotion to make my heartbeat speed up. Her breath warmed my skin. “I was worried.”

Soothed by her affection, the memories seemed to disappear as quickly as they crashed into my psyche. “It’s not a big deal. Happens sometimes.” Her narrow eyes didn’t look convinced, so I flashed her a smile. “Seriously, Em. I’m fine.”

She so didn’t believe me, but I was thankful that she took the hint that I didn’t want to talk about it. Despite Emily’s drive for her business, she was a natural caregiver. I could hear it when she talked about work and feel it when she looked at me with compassion in her eyes. “Okay. So, uh… what do you want to do? I have a backlog of
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
episodes. If you want to comb through Netflix, we can find a movie. Or we can go to the bedroom –”

“I’ve never watched
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
. That’s that cop show with Andy Samburg, right?” One of the things I lo-
liked
so much about Emily was how expressive she was. She read like a book. She was nervous and overthinking the situation.

The corners of her mouth lifted. “Yeah. It’s hilarious. I can’t believe you haven’t watched it.”

“I don’t watch a lot of TV.” I shuffled the pillows on her couch and plopped down. It was a lot more comfortable than it looked. “Come on. We can pick up where you left off, you’ll just have to catch me up on what’s going on.”

And then she did something that made me fall completely in love with her – as if it was ever even a question. She turned her fingers into mock guns, pointing them at me while she made laser noises. The minxy little space cowboy blew at the barrels of her invisible guns before holstering them. With a terrible twang and a smile the size of Texas, she said, “Got it, chief.”

Yup. Totally in love.

Totally fucked.

Emily

There was no need for an alarm clock when you have a dog that needs to go out at the same exact time every single morning. Usually Echo licked my face or nudged my side until I woke up, but Tucker and I spent the night ignoring all the red flags and making love so she was banished to the living room. I knew I had to leave the warm bed and warm body holding me to answer to the whining pup, but a fresh snow would be waiting outside and even my fuzzy slippers and parka wouldn’t protect me from the frigid weather. The hibernating bear next to me made for a shitty pillow, but he gave off so much body heat that it felt like I was sleeping in front of a blazing fire.

I spent the night dodging questions from Kate, who threatened to show up on my doorstep if I didn’t give her concrete answers and send a picture of Tucker. I did neither and prayed that she stayed away. Things with Tucker were already strange and totally out of control, but I found myself caring less the more time we spent together.

He was the one who drew the line in the sand, but he was also the one who seemed so eager to cross it.

I was right there behind him, though. My toes were testing the waters, but my heart was already swimming. No, drowning. I was drowning in Tucker. Drowning in my feelings for him. Drowning in his espresso eyes and boyish smile. Drowning in the
rightness
of being with him when it was wrong on so many levels.

What was so wrong about it, though? Because he was a bear and I was a wolf? Pairings between different shifter species was commonplace. The distance? Our age? The time and the timing? My fears? I had a bouquet of fears when it came to Tucker. Those fears kept me from grabbing whatever was between us and running full force into the water; it kept me from embracing the connection on a spiritual and physical level. My wolf was more than ready to tear into him. She’d never been like that with Connor. With anyone. Instead of comforting me, more than anything, that knowledge made me even more afraid.

“Do you want me to let Echo out?”

The bed shifted and I got a picture of what I ran out on what seemed like years ago. Half asleep with the comforter slipping down his bare chest, Tucker blinked the dreams from his eyes and jumped right into mine. His sexy baritone was huskier, even as he cleared his throat.

“Sorry she woke you. I was trying to find the motivation to get up. It’s too cold out.”

“I thought wolves liked the cold.”

I tossed the blanket off me and winced as the air hit my naked body. Goosebumps prickled my flesh and I scurried to slip into the clothes I left in a pile next to the bed. “Not this wolf. Holy shit; it’s freezing!” For good measure, I grabbed a fluffy pink robe hanging from a hook behind my door and pulled it around me. “I’ll be right back.”

Echo took advantage of the small opening I planned to slip through and barged into the room, jumping up on the bed. Tucker, who was awake but lounging on his side holding a pillow, lifted his head in surprise when the pup excitedly bounced around his body. She faltered when she noticed that it was him in bed and not me, but she didn’t growl or make any attempt to hide. She nudged him with her nose and jumped off the bed, pausing to stare at me, before yelping and strolling through the open door.

“I think she’s warming up to me,” He said with a lazy smile as he fluffed his pillow and laid back down.

Rolling my eyes, I shrugged. “Maybe it’s the fact that you gave her four dog treats last night. You’re going to give her diabetes if you keep that up.”

“Food is an effective negotiation chip. I just wanted her to stop looking at me like she was going to bite my dick off.”

“Nobody is playing fetch with your dick.”

“Except you.”

“Okay,” I snorted, brushing my insane morning hair out of my face and up into a half-hearted bun. I was surprised that he hadn’t mentioned the lion’s mane that surrounded my head like a coppery glow. Connor always complained that it got in his mouth when we went to sleep, so he never liked to cuddle. Tucker, on the other hand, clung to me the entire night and didn’t say a single word.

Echo gave a final bark that let me know if I didn’t get moving she’d have an accident. I pulled together all the strength I had to face the weather and headed into the living room. “Calm down, diva. I’m right here.”

For another layer of protection against the wind that was rattling the house, I hastily grabbed my coat and slipped into a pair of boots. The second I opened the door, Echo barreled down the steps and plunged into a snow drift. I shifted back and forth anxiously, debating on whether or not to stay out with her or go inside until she let me know she was ready to come in. That plan was moot the second my best friend stumbled onto her porch with just as much fervor as Echo.

Kate wore a shit eating grin and held her cup of coffee close to her chest. “Mornin’! I’m loving your outfit choice.”

“Thanks. It’s called ‘thoroughly fucked and absolutely freezing’. It should be hitting stores this spring.”

She leaned against the side of the house and rolled her eyes, laughing. “Funny. So things went well with bear boy? Don’t lie to me, either; we share walls.” Our kitchens and living rooms butted up against each other, but the soundproofing was relatively decent. Whoever designed the house had the decency to put the bedrooms on opposite sides of the structure.

Kate wasn’t a shifter, but I had to tell her about my secret when she started poking around. We’d only been friends for a few months, but I trusted her enough. If one of the pack security members would’ve found her and deemed her a threat, she’d be buried at the bottom of a lake with a concrete ankle bracelet.

I tilted my head towards his truck. “Something like that. We’ll talk later, yeah? New Year’s Day margaritas?”

She raised her cup. “Hell yeah!” A few seconds passed and her gaze once again flickered to my front door. It was like she was willing herself to acquire x-ray vision. “You sure I can’t come over and meet him?”

“That would make things weird. We may not see each other after this, anyway.”

“But you want to.”

“Later, okay? This is a marg conversation, not a negative forty standing in my pajamas while my dog takes a shit conversation.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Oh my God, so dramatic! It’s twenty degrees out. Also! I
know
you don’t work again until Thursday so you can’t push margaritas off. Unless you plan on spending the next few days having an endless number of orgasms while I try to peek through the window, you are going to fess up and have a girl’s day with me.”

“Only if we go to the antique mall and get smoothies. No manicures, pedicures or margaritas.”

“Smoothies hardly constitute a whole meal.”

“Neither do margaritas.”

Kate shrugged, the wind catching her wispy brown hair and making it dance around her face. “Touché. Okay, I agree to the antique malls but there is no exchanging the margaritas for smoothies. We’ll go to ‘La Casita’ for lunch
and
booze. Final offer.”

I could’ve negotiated with her for hours, but it was cold, Echo was at my feet, and I knew there was a warm hunk of a man waiting for me inside. I groaned and threw my hands up, hissing when the movement caused my jacket and robe to slip open and expose my skin to the cold. Kate’s statement that it was twenty out didn’t seem right; my original declaration of negative forty seemed to fit so much better.

“Fine!” I groaned as I wrapped myself up again. “You win. You’re off tomorrow right?” An enthusiastic nod came in response. “We’ll go then.
You
drive.”

“That’s a given. Barbie’s Jeep thought she was tougher than the Montana snow and lost. I can’t believe your parent’s haven’t annoyed you into getting it fixed.”

Though I didn’t look like Barbie and my Jeep was less sorority girl and more Jurassic Park, Kate picked up the annoying nickname one summer when I had the Jeep topless and picked her up to go shopping.
A la Mean Girls
.

“They tried on Christmas Eve; they even said they’d pay for it. It’s just cosmetic, though, and it doesn’t bother me. It’s just a dent.”

“It looks like you ran over Santa.”

“Maybe I did,” I deadpanned. I backed up the few steps to the door and shrugged. “I’ll text you later. Way later. Maybe next year later.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She called out with a happy laugh as I tried not to trip over Echo as she ran into the warm house. Flecks of snow melted within milliseconds and, like clockwork, my pup shook until water and hair trickled to the ground like sad confetti.

I smiled to myself and shook my head. Kate wasn’t a prude, but she wasn’t one to go out all the time and have a little black book of boy toys. I’d love her unconditionally either way. What she
probably
meant was ‘Don’t do anything we wouldn’t dream of doing after looking at a Tumblr dedicated to sexy guys’ or something. Tucker blew any fantasy guy or fantasy night out of the water, twice over. He didn’t look like the models, but he was the most attractive person I’d ever been around both physically and mentally.

Like I conjured him buy just thinking of his hawkish face and rugged scar, Tucker appeared in the frame of the small hallway. Wearing the sweatpants that I took from his house and embarrassingly presented to him the night before after growing tired of resting my head on uncomfortable jeans, he leaned with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I thought maybe the Abdominal Snowman got you.”

I kicked my boots into the closet and shucked out of my jacket and robe as quickly as I could, shoving them haphazardly onto a hook. “I don’t know if Kate would be offended or take that as a compliment.”

“Really, though, I was getting ready to send out a search party. I only have a few hours until I have to leave, and I’d like to spend them back in bed with you.” He held up a hand to stop me from talking. “We don’t have to have sex. I’d
like
to watch you come a few more times, but we can just lay there if you want. It’s too cold to be out here. Are you sure your heater isn’t broken?”

He went from sexy to concerned
and
sexy in two seconds flat. His dark brows bunched together and he looked pensive, like he was considering breaking out my toolbox and trying to fix whatever was wrong with my house.

“It’s just old.” I put my ice cold palms on his chest, chuckling when he whined and jumped back with surprise. “Once you get moving it’s barely noticeable.”

“I’m trying to get moving.” He wiggled his brows salaciously.

A really unattractive and unladylike snort came from the back of my throat. I was too busy laughing to be embarrassed by it. “Go back to bed. We can warm up, and then I’ll make us breakfast. I’ll be there in a minute. I have to fill up Echo’s bowls, and I’ll start some coffee so we don’t have to wait ten years for my ancient machine to brew.”

“You had me at ‘we can warm up’.” Tucker kissed the top of my head and swatted at my bottom, giving me a boyish grin when I yelped in surprise.

My heat, which I honestly wasn’t sure was working up until that point, kicked on with a loud hum. I shrugged. “Looks like we don’t need to huddle together for warmth after all.”

“Em, I’m going to do a lot more than huddle with you. You have a furnace between your legs and my tongue, fingers, and dick all want a little warmth.” He pressed my body into his, as if I needed more proof that he was aroused. The front of the sweatpants were already tented out. We both sighed when his hardness rubbed against me. “Hurry up; I’ll be waiting.”

A sense of urgency filled me, but I didn’t rush off to the kitchen or fly through my tasks. Tucker was like a shot of adrenaline to the heart. He was lightening in my veins, and I could feel him in my bones. Chemically, physically, mentally – I wanted him. I didn’t dare think the word my wolf wanted to throw out so carelessly.
He has hinted at it, though. He knows it’s true. You both know it’s true
. I rolled my eyes and scooped the coffee grounds into the filter.

I spent my entire life being in love with the idea of love… especially with Connor. Not that I didn’t love him. I did. Even months later, I still loved him. But I was more in love with the idea of a happily ever after than actually living one, and that ended up kicking me in the ass. Tucker was different. Looking back, I realized that the moment he helped me out of my Jeep. I could pretend that night was nothing but physical attraction, but he was
here
. He was far more than a one night stand, but to be honest… he was never one of those in the first place.

I ran my hand down Echo’s back while I waited for the coffee pot to start up, promising her we’d go out and play later. I felt like I was neglecting her, but she didn’t seem to have a problem with having a few lazy days. The coffee pot that was well beyond its life cycle started to rumble and drip, so I pushed up from where I was squatting and started for the bedroom.

Halfway through the living room, I was brought to a stop by three loud knocks at the front door. My curtains were pulled, so I couldn’t see outside but I hadn’t heard anyone pull up and Kate would have stayed away even if she was curious about Tucker. The noise excited Echo, who appeared behind me in the door. I didn’t even bother grabbing my robe.