Turn To Me (16 page)

“How about I just point my gun at him,” he deadpanned.

I laughed, squirming further underneath the quilt as I watched Blane leave the room, Bits prancing after him, tongue lolling happily out the side of his mouth.

When I woke, it was nearly nine o’clock.  My headache was gone, thank goodness, and I was starving.

I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes into flannel pajama pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt, not bothering with a bra.  I brushed the tangles from my hair, washed the makeup off my face and brushed my teeth.  I felt much better after that and went in search of Blane.

I found him on the couch.  He’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt, some clothes he’d left here once before, and papers were scattered all over the couch and coffee table as he wrote on a legal pad.  Tigger was curled behind him on the top of the couch while Bits lay at his feet.  The scene made me smile.

He must have sensed my presence because he looked up, a quick glance taking in my appearance.

“You look like you feel better,” he said.

“I do, thanks,” I replied.  “Just hungry.”

“There’s some Chinese in the fridge.  Kung Pao. Your favorite.”

My mouth watered just thinking about it.  I grabbed the container and dumped some on a plate to heat in the microwave.  When I got back to the living room, Blane had cleared a space next to him on the couch.  I tucked my feet underneath me as I sat cross-legged beside him.

“Thanks for dinner,” I said, after I’d swallowed a mouthful of fiery chicken.

“No problem,” he said, his mouth tipping up at the corners.

The television wasn’t turned on, but Blane had lit the lights on the Christmas tree.  After I ate, I sat in comfortable silence with Blane as he worked.  Tigger moved to my lap and I stroked his fur absently.  So long as we didn’t talk about someone shooting at me yet again, and I didn’t mention the dead possum and blood on my car, it was a real sweet scene.

I loved Christmas.  It was my favorite time of the year.  I could see the snow outside, the wan moonlight causing the ground to glisten.  The smell of cedar and balsam permeated the apartment and the tree glowed brightly with all the lights and ornaments we’d hung on it.  I found my spirits lifting in spite of the mess I was currently in. 

“What are you doing?”

“What?”  My attention jerked to Blane who was studying me, his pen poised over his legal pad.

“You were humming something,” he said.

“Oh,” I said, taken aback.  “I’m sorry.”  I hadn’t realized I’d been doing that and certainly hadn’t intended on disturbing him.

“What was it?”

I thought.  “I don’t know.  A Christmas carol, probably.”  I shrugged my shoulders. 

“Will you sing it for me?” he asked.

I ducked my head in embarrassment.  “Of course not,” I said, “don’t be silly.  Finish your work so we can go to bed.  I’m tired.”

Blane deliberately set aside his pad and pen and stacked his papers neatly next to his briefcase.  Turning, he pulled me between his spread legs and I settled back against his chest with a sigh.  With his arms around me, the night enveloping us, it didn’t seem like anything bad could happen.

“Please.”

Well, crap.  I couldn’t resist him when he said that – not that I was that great at resisting him period.  I wasn’t that great of a singer, apart from my ability to channel Britney Spears, but I gave it my best.  Looking at the tree, I softly sang the first and second verses to Silent Night.  It made me miss my mom, that song had been one of her favorites.  She’d always said it set the right mood of reverence for Christmas and I agreed.

“That was beautiful, Kat,” Blane said when the last note had trailed off into the darkness.  His voice was rough. 

We sat in silence for a while, lost in our own thoughts.  I kept thinking about Kyle and the case Blane was working.

“Tell me,” I said into the quiet, “about when you were in the service.  Did you have to shoot anyone?”

Blane’s whole body stiffened and I could practically feel him pulling away from me.

“Why do you want to know?” he asked.

“I’m not judging you,” I said, twisting around so I could see his face.  “I want to know what it was like for you, what you went through.”

He studied me for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he was going to speak.  I stayed silent, hoping he trusted me enough to open up to me.

“It’s hard to explain,” he began.  “Life is different, more basic, in war.  Your point of view is focused only on yourself and the men you’re with, helping to keep each other alive.  You see things, do things, that people who aren’t there can’t even imagine.”

His eyes had taken on a faraway look and I wondered if he was seeing me or something else.

“One time we were working with some marines,” Blane said after a pause.  “They needed help clearing houses and marines aren’t trained for that sort of thing.  I went in first, clearing the bottom floor and they came in behind me.  One of them, it was his first time out, he was young, maybe nineteen, twenty.  Name was Dillon.  He got too complacent once the bottom floor was cleared.  He didn’t realize that sometimes they would hide upstairs, waiting for us.  He went up alone, careless, and the bastard hiding set off a grenade.  Killed himself and blew a hole in my guy’s chest.  By the time I got to him, he was nearly gone.  He just kept asking me to call his mom.  He wanted to say goodbye.  He died in my arms.”

My eyes were wide as I listened.  Blane was right.  I couldn’t even imagine what that must have been like.

“It’s funny,” he said thoughtfully, “you don’t always remember the ones you saved.  But you never forget the ones you couldn't.”

There were no words I could say that would even begin to mean anything in light of what he’d just told me, so I didn’t try.  Reaching up, I took his face in my hands until his eyes were once again focused on me.

“You’re a good man, Blane Kirk,” I said.  I pressed my lips firmly to his once, twice.  His arms embraced me tightly as I laid my head on his shoulder. 

“Did you have any problems when you came back?” I asked.  I’d heard about soldiers with PTSD and wondered if Blane had ever suffered from that.

“It took a while to readjust,” he said.  “It was months before I could pass trash on the road without thinking it was an IED about to blow.  Being on constant alert over there, it’s hard to accept that you’re safe, that you don’t have to come awake at the slightest noise, reaching for your gun.”  He paused.  “Kade helped me through it.”

That surprised me.  “Really?”

Blane nodded.  “He moved in for a while.  Made me go out, do things.  Normal things.  Go to a baseball game, see a movie, have dinner.  He didn’t pity me and he didn’t baby me.  It was just matter of fact, as though he knew I needed to acclimate again.  I think it helped our relationship that for once I needed him, rather than the other way around.”

I pondered this, unsurprised at Kade’s devotion to Blane.  I also had to admit that I was jealous.  Some times were harder than others to be an only child.  “It must be really nice to have a sibling,” I murmured thoughtfully.

“It is,” Blane replied.

We went to bed shortly after that, the day wearing on me even with my power nap, and I was glad to get some sleep, snuggled spoon style with Blane.  I slept sound until a slight whimper made my eyes crack open.

Bits was on the floor, staring up at me.  He wagged his tail when he saw my eyes were open, then stood and turned around in a circle.  I blearily looked at the clock.  Five-thirty a.m.  Sheesh.  Three hours earlier than the schedule.  The dog obviously couldn’t read. 

Easing from the bed so I wouldn’t wake Blane, I slipped on some shoes and grabbed the leash.  I hooked it to Bits and he danced excitedly by the door as I slipped on my coat.

The night air was frigid and woke me up in a hurry.  I could see my breath as I walked the dog, hoping he’d do his business quickly.  I took him around to the side of the apartment building where there was more snow covered ground than concrete.  I brushed aside an area of snow down to the grass and whispered his code words.  For a dog that woke me up because he had to pee, he sure was taking his sweet time, I thought sourly.

The scuff of a shoe made my head jerk up.  No one should be out at this hour, and indeed the streets were still and silent.  What had seemed peaceful before, however, now took on an eerie feeling instead.  The moon had long since disappeared and there were only dark shadows filling the streets.

The noise came again from behind me and I spun around, my heart racing as I searched the darkness.  The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I wished I’d thought to bring Blane’s gun along with me. 

Tugging on the dog, I turned back to my apartment building, wanting to go inside.  Bits would just have to wait until it was light out.  I’d taken two steps when I saw a shadow separate itself from the darkness around it.  I froze.  A spike of adrenaline rushed through my veins, its chill making my hands shake.  I clenched them into fists as I thought furiously.

Making a quick decision, I grabbed up the dog, turned and ran.  I didn’t know where I was running to, I just knew what I was running from.  A glance behind showed me I’d been correct – there was someone following me, and gaining, from the looks of it.  He didn’t bother to pretend anymore and I saw that he wore a dark hood as he passed under a streetlight.

Though I knew it was futile, that he would eventually catch me, I ran anyway.  The only sound was that of my ragged breath and the crunch of my feet in the snow.  I kept glancing behind me, but he wasn’t getting closer.  Yet.

Turning a corner, I ran blindly down a dark alley between two buildings.  I was getting further from my apartment building, but didn’t know how to double-back.  I burst out of the alley, turning to look behind me once again, and ran full bore into a body. 

I screamed, terror peaking in me.  A hand quickly covered my mouth, stifling my scream, and I struggled.  Bits jumped out of my arms onto the ground and I dropped his leash, using both hands now to try and break free. 

I was suddenly brought up short against the man, unable to continue to struggle as his arm tightened around me.  Jerking my head up, I saw eyes bluer than I remembered, framed by dark lashes and wickedly arched brows.

“Nice to see you, too, princess,” Kade said.

Chapter Six

My knees buckled in relief and Kade’s hold on me was the only thing that kept me from crumpling to the ground.

“Someone’s chasing me,” I gasped, struggling to regain control of my breathing.

Kade’s expression changed, his smirk fading as he looked at me, as though measuring my words.  Whatever he saw must have convinced him, because the next thing I knew, his gun was in his hand and he was pushing me behind him.  I scooped up Bits, who’d sat nearby, tongue lolling as he watched us.

“Stay close,” Kade said curtly.

“No problem.”  He had a gun and I didn’t.  That pretty much meant I was sticking to him like glue.

We backtracked the way I’d come, me close behind him.  I clutched a handful of his leather jacket.  I probably should have let go, but I couldn’t make myself.  I knew I was far from Kade’s favorite person, but I also believed he would keep me safe.

There was no one around.  The silence of the night was profound and complete.  My heart rate slowly returned to normal as we came in sight of my apartment building.  I wondered what the heck Kade was doing here anyway.

“There’s no one around,” Kade said, holstering his gun.

“I saw someone earlier,” I said, pointing.  “Right over there.”

We walked over to the small knot of trees and bushes.  Kade stopped, crouching down to look at something on the ground.

“What is it?” I asked, my voice hushed.

“Cigarette butts,” he said, holding one up, then stood.  “Let’s get you inside,” he ordered.

He herded me up the steps, keeping close behind.  With Bits in my arms, I couldn’t see very well in the near total darkness and missed a step.  I braced myself for the fall, but Kade’s arm flashed out, hooking me around the waist.

I paused, realizing I was still shaken from what had happened.  Kade no doubt thought I was a klutz since that was twice in the past ten minutes that he’d had to catch me before I ended up on the ground.

“Thanks,” I said to Kade.  His arm was still locked around my waist, so I tugged on it, letting him know I was fine.  He released me and I bent to let Bits jump out of my arms.  He trotted obediently to my door.  Kade followed me inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Bits had curled up on his pink pillow in the corner, and to my surprise, Tigger was curled up with him.  I shed my coat and shoes, pushing my fingers through my tangled hair.  Kade stood in my living room, surveying his surroundings. 

It made me nervous to have him here.  His presence was just as palpable and overwhelming as Blane’s, but I knew Blane didn’t hate me.  As it was, I had no idea why Kade was here, why he’d turned up at such an opportune moment, or what I was supposed to do with him. 

“Would you like some coffee?” I asked politely, keeping my distance from him as I stood in the kitchen.  He was looking at the tree but flicked his gaze to meet mine. 

A flash of memories assailed me in that moment - Kade’s loathing of me, especially when he found out I was with Blane, yet rescuing me from Avery when I would have been raped and killed.  Kade carrying me across a gravel parking lot when my feet were too torn up to make it on my own, yet also threatening to kill me if I didn’t cooperate and give him what he wanted. 

Kade kissing me at The Drop before I had known he was Blane’s brother.

I wondered if Kade was thinking something similar, but it was impossible to tell.  He could have been musing on the weather, for all that showed on his face.  I fidgeted under his steady gaze, nervously crossing my arms and looked away from him to stare at the floor.

“Sure.  Coffee,” he finally said.

I gave a jerky nod and started a pot of coffee.  Escaping from Kade’s presence, I went into the bathroom.  I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth and hair.  When I was done, I just stood there, staring at my reflection in the mirror.