Turn To Me (17 page)

My face was paler than usual, the shadows under my eyes standing out prominently.  For a few minutes, I just breathed. 

It felt as though my nerves were a hair’s breadth from snapping.  Whoever was doing this to me seemed unrelenting.  Each day had brought a new terror and it was getting harder and harder to brush off the events.  I didn’t want to go into hysterics and worry Blane any more than he already was, but after being chased in the dark by the unknown man this morning, regaining my equilibrium was very difficult.  And to take matters to another level of stress and anxiety, Kade Dennon was in my living room.

I knew I couldn’t hide forever, which was really too bad when I thought about it.  When I finally came back out of the bathroom, the coffee was finished brewing and I poured two mugs full as calmly as my shaking hands would allow.

“How do you take it?” I asked, thinking I probably already knew the answer.

“Black,” he answered, confirming what I’d thought.

I dumped half-and-half and some sweetener in mine before taking the mugs into the living room.  He’d sat on the couch while I’d been gone and had discarded his jacket.  I noticed now that he had on jeans and a black Henley shirt layered over another t-shirt.  His gun was firmly in his holster attached to his jeans.

I gave him the coffee, then sat at the far end of the couch, tucking my bare feet up underneath me. 

“Why are you here?” I asked after a few minutes, breaking the stiff silence.

“Wondered when you’d get around to that,” he said, his voice rife with the condescension I despised.  “What’s the matter?  I can’t drop by for a friendly visit?”

I snorted in derision at this.  “The last time you were here, you were going to kill me, so no, a friendly visit never crossed my mind.”

“That’s not precisely true,” Kade said, and the way he said it made my eyes dart to his.

He was talking about leaving the money, of course.  I opened my mouth to say something, I wasn’t sure what, when he cut me off.

“Trust me, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be,” he said grudgingly, looking away from me and taking another swallow of the bitter coffee.

“Then why?”

He didn’t answer, just shot me a look that said volumes about what he thought of my intelligence.  Then it hit me.

“Blane asked you to come, didn’t he?” I asked, knowing I was right, though Blane had said nothing to me about calling Kade.

“Ding ding ding,” Kade mocked.

I ignored him even as my face flushed.  I considered this, abruptly remembering the overheard phone conversation Blane had made last night when I’d woken up.  He must have been talking to Kade, which meant Kade had literally dropped whatever he was doing to get here at five-thirty in the morning from wherever he had been.

“Why?”  I asked the question even though I was afraid I knew the answer already.

Kade didn’t bother looking at me.  “I’ll let Blane tell you that,” he replied dryly.  “Where is he, by the way?”

“Asleep.”

Kade didn’t reply, his eyes on the glowing Christmas tree.  After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again.  “It appears there’s no end to the trouble you cause my brother,” he mused sardonically.

I stiffened at the implication, which was grossly unfair, in my opinion.

“He put his life on the line for you once before,” Kade continued, anger edging his voice.  “Are you going to require he do it again?”

I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut.  He turned to look at me, but I was too stunned at his verbal attack to say anything.

“Find another rich guy to screw.”

I went from shocked to completely pissed off in two seconds flat.  Any thoughts I’d had about thanking Kade for the money he’d left me or for being there tonight when I’d been so scared flew out the window.  I had thought Kade and I had reached a truce in Chicago.  It seemed that truce was over now.

“What’s between Blane and me is none of your business,” I spat angrily at him, hating the fact that my eyes had blurred with tears at his hurtful words.  It was all I could do to not hurl my coffee mug at his head.  “I don’t care about his money, not that you’d believe me or that I even care what you think!  I don’t even know why you’re here.  Why don’t you just get out?  Go on!  Get out!”

His eyes narrowed dangerously and he abruptly moved close so that his body loomed over mine.  A shot of fear went through me and before I could quell the impulse, I shrank away from him.  His face was inches away, his blue eyes boring into mine, and when he spoke, his voice was deceptively calm

“Don’t...push...me,” he said slowly, enunciating each word.

The tension grew thick as we stared angrily at each other, neither one backing down. 

The door to my bedroom suddenly flew open, startling me.  Blane stood there wearing only his jeans, both his feet and chest were bare.  I would have gone to greet him, but his gun was in his hand and his expression was cold and hard.  When he saw me and Kade, his body relaxed slightly and he tucked the gun into the small of his back.

I jumped up and hurried over to him, feeling immeasurably better now that he was there to be the buffer between Kade and me.

“Please don’t do that again,” he said seriously, wrapping a hand around my arm and tugging me towards him.

“Do what?

“Leave without telling me,” he clarified.

“It was Bits,” I explained.  “He needed to go outside.”

“You went outside?” Blane asked incredulously.  “Alone?” 

I chewed my lip, looking at him uncertainly.  I had a sinking feeling this was going to be one of those she’s-too-dumb-to-walk-upright moments.

Blane took my silence as confirmation.  His lips pressed into a thin line.  “And I doubt you took the gun with you.”

“I thought about it,” I said quickly, then had to add, “after I left.”

“She was running,” Kade interrupted, speaking about me as if I weren’t standing right there.  He had stepped into the kitchen and leaned back against the counter, arms and ankles crossed in a pose very much like the one Blane frequently adopted.  “Said someone was chasing her.”

“Did you find anyone?” Blane asked, his attention now on Kade.  His arm curved absently over my shoulders and I moved closer, sliding my arms around his waist so I could rest against him.  His skin was warm despite the slight chill of the apartment.  I was still furious with Kade, but Blane’s touch took the edge off.

“No,” Kade replied, his eyes flicking briefly to my arms as they hugged Blane.  “Just some cigarette butts.  Looks like whoever it was had been there a while with a good view of the apartment.”

“Why is Kade here?” I asked Blane pointedly, looking up at him.  “He said you asked him to come.”

“I’ll step outside for this,” Kade said, the corner of his mouth twisting upwards in his telltale smirk.  “Take a better look around now that it’s getting light.”

Blane and I watched him go and when the door shut, I returned my attention to Blane.

“Well?” I asked.  “Why did you ask him to come?”

Blane looked down at me, and the look in his eye made me think I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. 

“I can’t be around you,” he said.  “You’re a target because of me.  I asked Kade to come and help keep you safe.”

I was right.  I didn’t like that at all, not one little bit.  “You asked Kade to come babysit me?” I said angrily, stepping out of his reach. 

“No one said babysit,” he said.  “I need you safe and can’t be the one to do it.  Kade’s the only one I trust.”

“Well I don’t!”  The words fell out of my mouth before I could think better of it.

Blane’s eyes narrowed.  “You don’t trust my brother?”

I quickly backpedaled.  “It’s not that I think he’s not capable,” I said, scrambling to put my feelings into words, “we just don’t really...get along.”  I finished lamely.

“You don’t have to get along,” Blane said flatly.  “He’s here to keep you alive.”

“Maybe you’re overreacting,” I said in a last ditch effort.  “You’re the one who needs protection, not me.”

“Overreacting?” Blane said, his voice a low growl.  He stepped into my personal space and I retreated until I was backed up against the wall.  “Need I remind you that you would be dead right now if I hadn’t spotted the rifle sight on you last night?”

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t overreacting, and no, I really didn’t need reminding, but that didn’t mean I wanted Kade hovering over me.  I couldn’t even sit in the same room with him and drink a cup of coffee, much less have him dogging my every move, especially when I knew he wouldn’t be all that torn up if something did happen to take me out of the picture.

“He hates me,” I finally said, praying Blane would understand.

His eyes softened, but his voice was still implacable.  “I doubt that, but it doesn’t matter anyway.  I trust him.”

It didn’t appear I had much of a choice in the matter.  I chafed under that, despite the logic behind Blane’s argument.  I hated the thought that I wasn’t safe by myself, that I needed someone to protect me.  Then another, even more unpleasant, thought occurred to me.

“Where is Kade going to stay?” I asked, afraid that I already knew the answer.

Blane didn’t reply, his eyes just glanced at my couch.

“Oh no,” I protested.  “He is not staying here.  Absolutely not.”  It was such a bad idea, I had trouble comprehending why Blane would even consider it.

“How else is he going to protect you?”

“I don’t want him here,” I said, adamantly shaking my head to emphasize my point.  “We’ll kill each other.  He thinks I’m nothing but a trailer-trash, money-grubbing slut-”

“Don’t say that.”  Blane’s words interrupted me, harshly spoken and angry, and I instinctively recoiled.  His voice gentled immediately.  “You are many things,” he said, his fingers combing through the hair by my face, “but not that.  Never that.”

Our eyes locked and the coiled anger and fear inside me relaxed, his words warming me.  I could stand Kade thinking the worst of me so long as I knew Blane didn’t believe it as well.

The door opened and Kade stepped back inside, and just like that, my wariness returned with a vengeance and my defenses sprang back into place.  Blane went to talk to Kade.  I didn't want to be in the same room with Kade at the moment and disappeared into the bathroom.

I felt better after a shower, emerging from the bathroom wrapped in my fuzzy pink robe.  Blane had dressed and was preparing to leave.

“I have to head home,” he told me as he shrugged into his coat.  “I’ll see you later after court.  Don’t go anywhere without Kade, okay?”

I nodded unhappily.  “Is he coming to the bar tonight, too?”  I’d had a couple of days off but had to work tonight at The Drop. 

“I’d really like it if you quit that job,” Blane said, “especially now.” 

It was a recurring argument between us.  He wanted me to quit bartending, but I wouldn’t.  I needed the money and refused to take it from him.

“I don’t want to argue about it,” I said quietly, though I knew Kade could probably hear us – my apartment wasn’t that big.  “You know I need my job.  Both of them.”

“I told you I’d take care of you.”

“It would be foolish of me to quit my job,” I said vaguely, not wanting to respond directly to what he said.  How do you say, “Yeah, but what do I do when we break up?” without it sounding fatalistic?

“You’d better go,” I said quickly, trying to forestall any more arguments from Blane.  “You’re going to be late for court.”  He still had to get across town to his place and get dressed.

I could tell by the clenching of his jaw that he knew exactly what I was doing, but he didn’t argue further.  Instead, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

Keenly aware of Kade nearby and possibly watching, I tried to pull away quickly, embarrassed, but Blane just tightened his hold and deepened the kiss.  After a moment, I forgot about Kade watching.

When Blane drew back, I saw that Kade was ignoring us as he looked out the window.  I had a moment of sheer panic as I watched Blane walk out the door and had to press my lips together to keep from calling him back.  I was afraid.  Afraid that Blane was going to get hurt – and afraid of being alone with Kade.

It’s not that I thought Kade would physically harm me, it’s what he would say to me that had my teeth clenched and a gnawing dread in the pit of my stomach.  I honestly didn’t think I had it in me to take more of what he’d already heaped on me this morning.  Maybe another day, another week, but certainly not this one.  So my first priority had to be to find a way to get him to leave, or if not leave entirely, then to at least get him away from me.

“You should be protecting Blane,” I said to Kade, breaking the stiff silence between us as I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher.  “This case he’s on has got people all riled up.”

“Blane can take care of himself,” Kade replied evenly.  Tigger had jumped up on the counter again and was purring contently as Kade rubbed his ears.

Okay, so that tack wasn’t going to work.  With an inward sigh, I poured another cup of coffee and went back to my bedroom.  Kade could just watch TV, pet the cat, or jump out the window for all I cared.  I took my time doing the hair and makeup thing, wanting to feel fully armored before again facing Kade and his contempt.

When it was time to head to work, I emerged from my bedroom and grabbed my coat and purse.  Bypassing breakfast seemed like a good idea since my stomach was in too much of a knot to eat.  Kade and I didn't speak as we went out the door, and I made sure I carefully locked it behind me.

Kade followed me in his car, a black Mercedes that made my blue Honda look decidedly decrepit.  Thankfully, no poor dead woodland creatures awaited me this morning.

I had wanted to go see about the people on my list today, but had no idea how I’d accomplish that with Kade watching my every move.  I was sure he wouldn’t approve.  I didn’t speak to him as he followed me inside the firm, the silence brittle as we rode the elevator to the top floor.

Clarice had left a message on my cell that she was still sick and could I cover for her again today?  I settled in at her desk, watching Kade through my lashes as he roamed the area before settling on the couch Blane had laid me on last night.