Twell and the Rebellion (14 page)

“
What for!” I protested.
“You have enough nerve for a small army. Why involve
me?”

“
Because everyone knows
who you are, Twell Anar.” Shanna placed her hand suddenly on my
cheek in the familiar way of friends. “You’re the girl who killed
her trainer. You’re the girl who isn’t afraid.”

“
What? Is that how
everyone sees me?” Smacking her hand away, I reared back, unable to
catch up with the overload of emotions screaming through my
head.

“
You’re the only one of us
who knows what it’s like to fight for your life, to fight for
Como,” Shanna replied more gently. “People respect that. They’ll
trust you. And if they trust you, they will follow you.”

I stood in shocked
silence, unable to respond as memories of the night we hunted the
Abwarzians came rushing back to me with such force I swayed on my
feet. The fear I felt for my friends flooded over me as though it
was happening again. I cringed at the recollection of Raze breaking
my bones, shuddering as I remembered how I’d broken his,
irreparably. All I wanted was to forget it, but somehow it had
followed me here and was shaping how everyone saw me, even people
I’d never even met.

Shanna looked at me with
wariness, not sure what to do with my impersonation of a statue. “I
can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do,” Shanna’s voice
was calm, but her eyes as they searched mine were uncertain. “This
has to be your choice, or we can’t pull it off.”

I stared back a long time before
I spoke. “Okay.” I could practically feel Shanna’s victory. It
rolled off her in waves of fervour that lit my insides with a
trembling mixture of apprehension and excitement.

“
I’ll give you a moment to
yourself.” She smiled widely, patting me on the shoulder. Then she
turned and walked into the night without looking back. I stood
alone in the murky gloom, feeling my heart beat out a rhythm of
hope while my mind tried to overcome my fears.

Just then, the cubicle door
beside me creaked slowly open and a tall, hooded figure emerged. I
stood frozen for a moment, too startled to speak as the figure
advanced and loomed over me. My heart hammering against my ribcage,
I clenched my powers and launched them outwards. I heard the tiles
crack against his back as he slammed against the cubicle wall.

“Ohhhhhh,” he groaned. “I
suppose I deserved that.” Throwing back his hood, Avin’s fine
features caught a stray beam of light. His grey eyes glittered like
a frozen lake as they locked on mine in a way that clutched at my
heart. He took another step towards me, then another, until he was
so close our robes brushed. I stared up at him in anticipation, but
he gazed down with an expression that told a thousand words. Anger,
hurt, longing, pain.

“
I can’t let you do this,
Twell.” His voice was dull, but his eyes raged and pleaded. “You’re
my match, whether you like it or not. I won’t stand by and watch
you sacrifice yourself this way.”

“
You don’t get a say,” I
retorted. “That’s kind of the point.” I made to turn away but his
hand shot out, seizing my arm.

Swinging me back around to face
him, I was shocked at the intensity in his expression. “You care
enough about me that you would bother to tell me what you were
going to do,” Avin argued. “So you must care enough to listen to
me, at least.”

“
It’s only duty,” I
stammered, trying to avoid his gaze. The heat of his skin seeped
into mine, yet I couldn’t control the shiver rippling over me. “I
thought it was the right thing to do, that’s all.”

“
No.” Avin shook me
suddenly, just once, but enough for my eyes to fly back up to his.
“I think there’s more than duty between us. But you’re not giving
me a chance.”

“
How can I?” Ripping my
arm from his grasp, I backed away, as if the physical distance
would dissolve the confusion that seemed to build whenever I was
near him. “You heard what I want. What I believe. There’s no place
for you in that.” I flinched at my own words as soon as they were
out. They sounded harsh and resolute in the dark and chill of the
washroom. Avin put his hands over his face, hiding his pain from me
for a moment, before moving them up to rake through his hair in
agitation. Then his eyes hardened, the grey becoming hard as
granite.

“
You know I should report
you,” he said bitterly.

My heart beat faster. He was
right. It was his duty now; he’d overheard the words of a traitor
to our Governing Body. As his match, it increased his
responsibility, even if it meant betraying me.

“
I know.” I hung my head,
a sigh escaping me. So be it then. We would have to use my
imprisonment to advertise our cause; making sure people knew why
I’d been taken away. In one long stride, Avin closed the distance
between us. My breath caught as his own touched my cheeks and his
hands started to reach for me. They hovered over my skin, not quite
touching as I froze in anticipation.

Then abruptly he dropped his
hands, releasing a sigh of his own. “But I won’t.” His tone was
resigned as his shoulders drooped. I watched as the colour of his
eyes seemed to fade and flatten, as if his spirit had receded.

“
Why?” I whispered,
confused with both him and the way he seemed to affect
me.

“
Because.” Avin smiled
sadly. “I have no wish to see you harmed or hurting. I’ll protect
you as my partner, even if that means I have to fight tooth and
nail to stop you.”

A giggle bubbled out of me
unexpectedly and I pressed my hand over my mouth as I tried to
control it. “
Tooth and
nail
? You are soooooo old
school.”

Avin laughed and my heart lifted
slightly. Without thinking, I smiled genuinely at him for the first
time.

“Well…I won’t give up on
what I believe until…until hell freezes over.” I grinned widely,
pleased with my
old
earth
reply. The longing returned to his
face, a smile brightening his features as his eyes searched mine.
The effect was mesmerizing, compelling…alarming.
Then, with
effort, he reined his emotions back as a more serious expression
settled over his handsome features.

“You’re the girl who was attacked by your
trainer? I’d heard about it, but I had no idea it was you…they
didn’t mention it in your file…”

“I don’t know who leaked that information.”
My voice shook slightly as I scanned his face for the judgment I
feared, but there was none, only concern as he held my gaze.

“Are you really okay, Twell?”

“I just can’t talk about it right now Avin,
it’s not something I’m proud of…or ever wanted to have you know
about me.”

“I would never judge you for that,” Avin
vowed as his head shook firmly, “You did what you needed to
preserve your life, Twell, and I would have done the same.”

I stared back in silence, surprised at
such quick conviction. I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I’d
been holding as Avin turned and walked to the entrance of the
washroom, before turning to face me again.

“I know you don’t understand yet,
why I’m fighting against what you believe. But I’m
following my own instincts and fighting for my own
beliefs.”

“
Which are?” I raised my
chin slightly in challenge.

“For us,” Avin said. “For
some reason, I believe in us.” He turned and let the darkness bear
him away, while I stood there feeling afraid of more things than
ever before.

Stumbling back to the dorm
on shaky legs, I slipped in as noiselessly as a spirit and crept
into bed, too exhausted to even take off my clothes let alone
tackle the tangled web of thoughts clogging my mind. The only thing
that kept repeating clearly were Avin’s words, ‘
I believe in us.’
If
someone believed in something, did it make it as real and true as
your own beliefs? Who was right? How could you find the truth? Avin
thought he knew what was best for us. So did I. His convictions
held a strength that matched my own and it rattled me to my
foundation, throwing my heart into turmoil.

I tossed and turned
uneasily until the steady rhythm of Lavi and Kina’s breathing
slowed my own. I was only vaguely aware of the door to our room
creaking open, then someone moving like a shadow to their bed, as I
sank into a troubled sleep.

Chapter
Seven

I awoke abruptly. For a
moment, I remembered nothing of the night before and I stretched
slowly before rolling over to see if the ot
her girls were awake. Finding Shanna’s bed empty, it hit me
like a stampede of mogas, my stomach cramping with dread as I
bolted out of bed.

“Where’s Shanna?” I
shrieked to Kina and Lavi who were already up and dressing. Tearing
off my crumpled clothes I redressed at record speed, pulling
frantically at the tangles in my hair. Lavi stared at me open
mouthed while Kina eyed me in a dubious way.

“
What’s she done?” Kina
folded her arms over her chest to emphasise her conclusion wasn’t
good.

“
You don’t want to know,”
I moaned. Giving up on my hair, I hopped around on the spot as I
struggled into my boots. Opening the door to leave, I jerked back
as it pulled away from my hands, slamming firmly shut again.
Whirling around I glared at Kina, but it was Lavi who came towards
me.

“What’s going on, Twell?”
Lavi moved to stand between the exit and myself, her expression
expectant yet unassuming. Kina moved
closer, her face wary but concerned. I opened my mouth and
then closed it again, despite wanting to blurt it all out. They
were nice girls, offering their friendship despite my reputation,
but how could I drag them into my battles when they had already had
enough to deal with?

“
It’s nothing,” I mumbled,
avoiding their eyes. Lavi looked at me with big hurt eyes while
Kina pressed her lips out so thin they practically
disappeared.

“Fine, don’t share.” Kina
sniffed. “You’re right, I don’t want to
know.”

“
Let’s go then.” Lavi’s
tone was subdued and I was surprised how much offending them both
pained me. I tried to think of something light-hearted to say to
break the tension, but I came up blank as we walked in silence to
morning meal. As soon as I entered the room, my eyes roved
automatically, seeking out not Jonaz, but Avin. I wasn’t sure why I
was concerning myself with his feelings. I hardly had an idea of
who he was. But I did know he was concerned for me and somehow I
trusted him when he said he wouldn’t report me. It was enough to
realize I had to find him before Shanna did. I wasn’t sure what she
was fully capable of, but she appeared more than happy to humiliate
other people to illustrate her beliefs, and I just wasn’t okay with
that.

The din of voices in the
hall was loud as I picked through the sea of cadets, searching for
his newly familiar face. Unable to spot him I turned dejectedly to
the meal line and began to reach for a tray, when Jonaz appeared
right in front of me. His features switched from startled to
ecstatic, then worried as he took in my proximity. The next moment
I heard a very distinct ‘
go
on,’
just behind him. Glancing over I
realized that Shanna, Talon, and Kaelin were standing there, making
frantic encouraging gestures, their expressions alight with
expectation. My happiness to see Jonaz was fuelled by their
pressure and I jolted into action. Before he could react, I threw
myself into his arms, crushing myself against his chest.

“What are you doing?” he
gasped. Smiling, I reached my arms up around his neck, ensuring we
attracted the attention of the entire western side of the hall. I
heard encouraging whoops and realized it was Talon. Shanna rubbed
her hands together with glee while Talon whooped again, causing an
echo of matching cries to ripple across several tables. Mostly
people stared at us in amusement or awe. Yet there were still many
faces displaying shock and fear, or worse, outrage.

“
Twell, no! Stop!” Jonaz
pushed me away roughly, his eyes wild with panic and already roving
for officers. I went staggering back until I felt hands grab me
from behind.

“
Great show!” Shanna
congratulated me, her eyes glowing in triumph. “Nothing like a
little morning scandal to get people talking!”

“
What the he…” Jonaz
began.

“
You must sit with us,”
Shanna commanded Jonaz, ignoring his bewildered expression. Then,
thrusting a tray with sustenance into my hands, she gripped my
elbow and practically dragged me towards a table where the others
were all sitting.

“Twell,
stop,”
Jonaz said again, his voice brittle with tension. With
effort, I shook Shanna’s arm off and turned to him. It felt like
the entire room was watching, waiting to see how far we were
willing to go. Only Jonaz didn’t seem willing at all. He’d pushed
me away and it had hurt, but the confusion and anxiety in his
features hurt me more.

“
Twell, you’ll be
punished. This is not the way.” His voice was strained with fear.
Fear for me.

“
But if we go careful, how
will anyone ever notice?” I asked. Shanna smiled with approval at
my words while Jonaz observed me in silence. It felt as though his
gaze was piercing into my soul as he tried to understand how my
heart had suddenly changed.