Twenty One (Love by Numbers Book 2) (25 page)

She hisses under her breathe, “Not now Jake” and I can’t help but respond a little louder than I intended “Yes, the fuck now Emmy, don’t make me drag it out of you.”

Her control snaps and she slams down her napkin, pushing back her chair forcefully and storming off towards the elevators, leaving everyone stunned, except for a very sheepish Liv.

“What the fuck is going on Liv?” I glare at her over the table.

“Go talk to her Jake, it’s not as bad as it seems, well that’s what I’ve tried to tell her but I guess she needs to hear it from you.”

I
promptly leave our friends and catch up with her waiting for the elevator; her arms wrapped are around herself like some kind of barrier.

“Talk to me Emmy, I …. I really don’t understand what the fuck is going on?”

She turns towards me, all the anger has left her and a solitary tear is making a track down one side of her of her face.

“I’m in all the papers Jake. They know who I am, they know
everything
about me and when I say everything I mean
everything.”

I don’t need to ask her to explain, I know she means that night.

I know she means what that fucker did to her is now splashed all over the world as entertainment for others.

In this moment I hate myself, I’ve brought this upon her and I will find away to take it away.

“I love you Emmy.”

I don’t know what else to say.

She looks at me just as the elevator doors open, a fleeting glance of hurt; of the darkness she has previously fought and won.

“I know you do Jake, I know.”

She steps into the mirrored interior and leans into the corner, her arms are firmly wrapped around herself for protection but from what? Me?

I enter behind her and hesitate to move towards her, even though I want more than anything to wrap her up, comfort her with my touch and promise to make all this go away.

Her small voice startles me, the clarity piercing through my thoughts.

“It’s not just the attack Jake. Yes, it hurts to see that splashed all over the tabloids, it’s James that hurts more; they know all about James.”

Without thinking, the possessive idiot inside of me rears his ugly head, “Who the fuck is James?”

‘VB STAR JAKE FOX AND THE RAPE VICTIM HE SAVED ARE NOW AN ITEM’

T
his was just one of the many front page headlines about me.

Each one is accompanied by grainy, camera phone pictures of Jake and I together; some taken at the club, some of our airport clinch and some even taken at the Meiji Shrine.

Almost every time we have been out in public the last few days has been documented in some form or another.

It feels like something special has been tainted.

Like the intrusion has stolen every special touch, every kiss and every look shared between us; stolen and offered them up to the highest bidder.

That isn’t the worst of it though; the headlines are also accompanied by details so personal that I wonder how they got them, until I see a picture of my mother in a double paged spread.

She has sold her story.

Spilled her guts and betrayed not just me but our whole family; my dad, my brothers …. James; all for a cheesy glamour shot in a tacky tabloid and a few quid in her pocket.

She has sold us all out for a few minutes of fame.

Betrayal can only be inflicted by someone you love. I thought my love for my mother had long been snuffed out, but her perfidiousness hurt; it felt like a thousand knives slicing through my flesh, tearing me apart piece by bloody piece and I wondered if this would be the thing that would finally break me.

Am I capable of surviving this mortal wound?

W
hen Jake and I returned to the suite, I locked myself in the bathroom to escape his penetrating gaze and his never-ending stream of questions.

He didn’t give up though, demanding I come out and talk to him with angry knocks on the door. These soon morphed into pleading words and he only stopped begging me when his phone rang.

I heard him move away from the door to answer it, so I sat myself on the closed toilet seat, holding my head in my hands and allowing the tears to roll freely from my eyes, down my nose and hit the tiled floor at my feet.

The more I silently cried, the more my head hurt; almost like each tear I lost was dehydrating my brain, causing it to shrivel up in my skull.

Why was I crying over that woman? Why was I letting her hurt me again?

My thoughts then flitted to my father; does he know what she has done? Did he stand back and let her?

No. He would never knowingly do that to me. I’m sure of it.

“E
mmy, please come out and talk to me.” Jakes soft voice penetrates my foggy brain.

“I know what’s upset you, Tina just called. Please Emmy, I just need to hold you right now. This has all happened because of me, because of who I am and it’s killing me that you are shutting me out.” His voice is laced with pain, he’s hurting too.

Forcing myself to stand, I walk over to the double sink and look at the girl reflected in the mirror.

I’ve seen this girl before.

I pity this broken girl and I don’t want that girl to be me anymore.

Splashing water on my face, I untangle my messy bun and let the waves fall down my back, releasing some of the pressure from my head.

Looking back at the girl in the mirror, something has changed.

This girl is me.

This girl is strong not broken.

I
open the door to find Jake slouched on the floor directly outside.

“I’m so sorry Emmy.”

His words are my undoing, knowing that he hurts because I do, tears open my chest.

I kneel down in front of him, about to tell him that the blame is not his to bear but I don’t get a chance because he scoops me up into his lap and places soft kisses all over my face.

“I’m scared that you’re going to think I’m not worth all this drama; that you are going to finally come to your senses, pack your bags and leave.”

The words are spoken into my hair while he holds me and rocks me in his arms.

“When you want to be with someone, when you truly love them, you love
all
the parts of them and you accept
all
the things that come hand in hand with loving them; be it good or bad. My love for you does not discriminate, it chooses you Jake; I
chose
to love you and I could never walk away.”

His arms tighten around me.

“James is my brother.” My words are almost a whisper; it hurts to talk about him even though I still think of him every day.

“He died when we were little, it was an accident, one that my mother blamed me for and still blames me for, even to this day.”

“How old were you?” His voice is soft and hesitant, like he doesn’t want to open old wounds.

“Six and eight; I followed James around like a lost lamb, wanting to be cool with his friends. He never stopped me, always included me even though having his little sister hanging around and trying to be one of the boys must have gotten on his nerves sometimes.”

“How can she blame you when you were both so young? What kind of mother would do that to a small child?” He’s confused and angry for me but I don’t have the answers.

“I don’t know. It hurt for such a long time but I had people around me who loved me and made up for it. My Dad, my Grandma and Liv; they all filled the hole that she left.”

We are both silent for a few moments, deep in our own thoughts until the chiming of my phone forces us back into the present.

“I have to get that, it might be my Dad. I text him earlier today when I saw that she had gone to the papers.”

He doesn’t let me go, only holds me tighter, “Whatever he has to say, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere and we will get through this together okay?”

“Okay.” I kiss him sweetly.

Putting all my faith in this man might turn out to be foolish based on what my own mother has done to me but it doesn’t feel foolish, it feels right.

“P
ud, are you okay?”

My father’s deep voice crackles on the phone.

“I’m fine Dad, I’ve seen the papers, I know why you’re calling and I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch sooner.”

“She’s gone too far this time, I just …….” He stops to compose himself, it’s hard to hear my dad so upset and not be there to comfort him.

“I’ve left her Pud, I’m sorry to tell you this over the phone but this was the last straw for me. For years I’ve watched her grief turn into something ugly, until she turned into something far uglier. I didn’t know that she was going to do this and I am so so sorry Pud, so so sorry….”

His voice cracks and he begins to sob, this is only the second time I’ve witnessed him like this and it breaks my heart.

“It’s not your fault Dad…” I begin to offer words of comfort, so when he interrupts quite forcefully, I am taken aback.

“Stop. Stop right there. Do not offer me kindness when I don’t deserve it; for years I’ve stood back and watched her belittle you, watched her hurt you, all the while hoping it was a phase. That she would snap out of it and be the mother you needed, the mother you deserved. I let it go on for far too long Pud and for that I am at fault and I can only hope that you can forgive me.”

Jake has walked over to where I stand and on seeing the tears that have dared to escape from the corners of my eyes, he wraps his arms around me and gently takes the phone from my hand.

“Mr Campbell, this is Jake, I’m sorry but Emma is a little upset at the moment….” I can’t hear my father’s reply but Jake’s next response is a little less frosty than his opening words. “Yes sir I will…. Yes I’ll get her to call you back. I know….. Yes, yes I do, very much. Okay, we will speak to you soon. Thank you Mr…. George okay sir, Thank you George.”

He disconnects the phone, placing it straight into his pocket and then envelopes me once more in his arms.

“Your father has given me his blessing; unless I hurt you of course, then he has threatened to kill me.”

I laugh through my sniffles; trust my dad to issue a warning to the man that only a few months ago, he wanted to give a medal to for beating my attacker to a pulp.

“I guess you’d better not hurt me then Mr Fox, seeing as my father is a trained assassin.”

He lets out a small laugh, “I have nothing to worry about, even if your father was the
Terminator,
I know I’m safe.”

“So cocky Mr Fox.” I hold him tighter, not wanting to lose his warmth.

“Cocky has nothing to do with it, I never plan on hurting you and if I somehow do, he’s more than welcome to go all ‘trained assassin’ on me.” He kisses the top of my head before adding, “Did I hear the word cock come from your sweet mouth? You know what that word spilling from your lips does to me.”

The laugh I emit breaks the gloom around us and just like that I know that everything is back to how it should be.

A
few hours later we are saying goodbye to our friends at the airport and it is bittersweet for us all, knowing that it will be a while before we can see each other again.

It is especially hard for H; he has to go back to a reality that does not include his long term girlfriend, or his best friend at a time in his life when he needs them the most.

“Call me every day, I want to hear all about the amazing things you are going to see and do.” Liv squeezes me so tightly that I struggle to reply.

“I will.” I manage to get out between ragged breaths.

“And don’t go reading any more trashy tabloid shit. Let Jake’s people deal with that okay?” She leans back to look at me keeping both hands on my upper arms.

“I promise, no more tabloids, no more stressing.”

“Good girl, I love you Em.” Tears pool in her eyes and Nate wraps his arm around her to lead her to the departure gate. I look over at Jake and H who are currently embraced in a man hug.

“I love you more,” I call after her, “Now go and enjoy the first class perks and remember to call me when you land.”

A
s we watch our friends walk away, Jake pulls me into his arms, “Come on Emmy, I have plans for you now that I finally get you all to myself.”