Twice in a Lifetime (Love Found) (22 page)

Her load shifted precariously. “Let me get that.” He pulled the towels and beach bag from her arms before they slipped to the floor. “She had work to finish. It will only be us.”

“That’s too bad.” She shrugged the balance of her load back into place. “It will be too nice a day to be stuck inside.” She grinned saucily. “I intend to take full advantage of your hospitality.”

He winked at her over his shoulder as he led the way to the door. “At your service, ma’am.”

Everything was hauled outside. At Jake’s whistle Trey and Jax ceased lobbing a football back and forth, ran over to help. Between them they got loaded and were on their way.

The sun shone clear and bright over the crystal blue lake. The early season crowds were sparse. Allie moved to the bow of the boat, slipped out of her dress and sandals. Stretched out on the white vinyl seat she soaked up rays, bouncing whenever the boat hit a wake. Jake’s eyes swept over her from behind shaded lenses. Her bound hair blew loose with the wind; her golden skin shimmered with the lotion she smoothed on. She was faced toward him, eyes closed, lips smiling, singing softly with the music pouring from the speakers.

He steered to an unoccupied area of the lake and the boys took turns jumping in, bobbing in their life vests as they donned skis. Rope taut and gripped firmly they gave the thumbs up and off they went, sailing across the cool, smooth water.

Peering over his shoulder, Jake checked the progress of the skier. Jax, stationed at the stern, held orange flag in hand. Trey balanced ably on a wakeboard, knees bent, guided himself from left to right and back again, jumping their wake, laughing as he did so. He was a good looking kid. Tall and lean with blond hair whipping in his face. Jake was transported back in time, watching Ben ski while he stood in the boat, flag at the ready, his own dad at the wheel. He shook himself back to the present as Trey let go of the rope and gently glided across the water.

Trey swam to the ladder and hauled himself in, shivering and shaking water like a mutt. “Oh man, that felt good.” He laughed as he removed his ski vest. “The water’s still a little cold, though.” He wrapped himself in a large towel. “Uncle Jake, you want a turn? I’ll drive.”

A dunk in the lake was exactly what he needed to get the picture of Allie in a swimsuit out of his head. He snagged the vest from the seat where Trey dropped it and put it on, sucking in a quick breath as the cold, wet nylon hit his sun-warmed skin.

Trey grabbed his shades, got comfortable in the driver’s seat and sat back, waiting for him to hop in the water. Roused from her catnap, Allie staggered toward the back of the boat, body parts jiggling with the rocking motion of the vessel. Yup, a shot of cold water was a definitely good idea.

Trey slowed the boat, steered around to pick him up. Jake’s teeth chattered and goose bumps covered his skin as he pulled himself up the ladder and into the boat. He removed the ski vest and grabbed a towel. “That first run gets harder and harder every year.”

“Well, I’m impressed. You were as good as the boys.” Allie was back in her sundress.
Thank you Jesus.

“You are so good for my ego.” He grinned and kissed her forehead, then reclaimed his place in the driver’s seat. “Okay guys, Mom’s turn.”

Allie laughed, raised her hands in mock surrender. “Waiting until the water is warmer, thank you. How about lunch? Hours on the water always work up an appetite.”

It was a day like so many they enjoyed before—warm sun, burgers on the grill, tunes blaring from someone’s portable stereo. It was nice to visit with people she hadn’t seen in months, some since before Ben’s death. Trey was already busy, tossing horseshoes in the sand with Jake and Jax, along with another man she met earlier. Bob something, an electrician. The old guys against the young guns, and the teenagers were merciless.

Picking her way down the gravelly beach with a plate in her hand, she staked out a smooth area to sit. Setting her lunch on a nearby rock, she spread her towel. She’d scarcely started in on her burger when Jake made his way to her, a couple of cold drinks in his hands.

She scooted, made room for him on her oversized beach towel. He plopped down beside her, handed her a bottle of water, took a long pull off his beer, and shot a glance toward the horseshoe pit behind him. He pointed his bottle to where Trey and Jax were now matched up against a couple of guys in their mid-twenties. “Those boys kicked our butts.”

She laughed, followed his gaze. “They’re ruthless. You should’ve heard them playing video games last night.” She took a sip, then a bite of her hamburger.

Jake picked up her fork, sampled the potato salad. “They’re good kids. They crack me up.” He shot another quick glance their way. “I envy you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I’ll send Trey home with you for a week. That will cure you, I promise.” She took one last bite of her hamburger and set the uneaten half on her empty plate.

Jake laughed and snagged the uneaten burger, finishing it off.

“What about you and Michelle? Any babies in your future?” She studied him hard. Did he realize the desperation she sensed in him lately? “You would be a great daddy, Jake.”

He studied her empty plate. “Could be. Someday.” His gaze drifted back to the horseshoe pit before yanking it back to her with a heavy sigh and a frustrated frown. He pulled his knees up, let his forearms rest on them and stared across the water. “No, I doubt it. Things aren’t great right now, to say the least. She’s always gone.”

“Every relationship has bumps.”

“Even when she’s home all she does is work. I don’t remember it that way last summer, or maybe I wasn’t paying attention. But now?” He stopped and turned his head, staring at Trey, “I really don’t see her as a mom.”

Allie couldn’t help but touch his arm. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

The smile he aimed her way was humorless. “Yeah, me too.” He took another long drink of his beer, which must be warm by now. “Last year, when she moved in, it all seemed so simple. The next logical step. I almost wish she didn’t now. It would be easier. The end, it would be… less messy.”

When he looked directly at her with his eyes so haunted, she had an uncomfortable urge to wrap him in her arms. Instead she inched closer, sat beside him hip to hip, offering unspoken comfort as he vented.

“I was tired of being alone. I’ll try to make it work. But the idea of children? That’s a tough one to let go.”

Her heart just skittered. It was hard to watch a man in that much pain. And Jake deserved so much more. She turned to face the crowd. The music was still loud, the teenagers were still pitching horseshoes, someone was toasting marshmallows for s’mores at the barbeque. She glanced back at Trey. She couldn’t imagine her life without him.

“Dreams are hard to give up.” The acceptance of this was relatively new to her. “It took a long time before I stopped thinking of having another child.” She tilted her head to the side and shrugged in one fluid motion. “I always hoped Ben would come around. But once he was gone I had to face the reality of it never happening.” She let her breath out in a deep sigh, stared out at the water lapping between the boats lining the shore. “That was the part that bothered me the most about Ben’s… situation. He refused to have another baby with me, yet he had one with whatshername.” She took another deep breath, blew it out in a long whoosh.

She turned back to Jake, a lopsided grin on her face, “I should go on one of those tabloid shows. Or maybe I should just shut up.”

He reached over and traced a finger down her cheek, kissed the crest and caused her stomach to drop. Her eyes, confused, flew to his, which were smiling.

“It was my pleasure. I think we both unloaded a little today.”

Jake left work Wednesday night anxious to start Operation Rekindle. Dinner Sunday evening was disappointing, nothing more than silently sharing a restaurant table with Michelle, and Monday she left pre-dawn, and without a goodbye. But today she was due back from Denver and he wanted to beat her home. He had a great idea for a vacation and already talked to Nick about taking time off. He pulled into the driveway beside her sedan.

“Damn.” He had the whole seduction scene planned. Along with a bottle of her favorite wine and a stack of travel brochures. And in the bag, rose petals and bath bubbles. Smoothly shifting to Plan B, he hurried through the house.

He found her in the bedroom, still in her business suit and heels, her suitcase open on the bed. “Hey, there.” He smiled when she turned to him, wrapped his arms around her, settling his lips on hers. She pulled back, then melted into him with a sigh, kissing him back as he rested his palms across her back.

“Welcome home. Why don’t you leave all this for later?” He waved the pamphlets at her and gave her a hopeful grin. “I’ve got a great idea I want to talk to you about. Then I’ll show you how much I missed you.”

Her hand fluttered as her eyes darted around the room. “I’m not unpacking.”

He paused, and his eyes bounced around the room. A large gap loomed in the open closet. Articles of clothing lay scattered on the bed. A matching suitcase stood near the door.

His gaze flew back to her, blazing. “What the fuck’s going on, Michelle? His eyes swept her from head to toe. “Tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” His eyes raked over her again before he threw the cruise brochures to the floor. “Or were you even going to tell me at all?” Sparing a last searing glare at her, and then at the wreckage strewn around the room, he pivoted and stalked out.

His stomach growled. The irony didn’t escape him that now, under these bizarre circumstances, he finally had Michelle’s undivided attention.

Weary, he braced his palms against the patio slider. The moon cast a silvery reflection across the surface of the swimming pool. The night was still, the water was placid. A calm word.

Nothing calm going on here.

She’d taken a seat at the kitchen table, her knees neatly crossed beneath her navy pinstripe skirt. Right now he’d like a little of the coffee he left near his chair, but it was long since cold. They’d been beating this horse for hours. He pushed off the door and stalked to the center of the room. The front door was within view, Michelle’s cases were lined precisely beside each other.

“We’ve been together two years.” He tamped down the frustration that oozed from his words. “How can you simply blow this off?”

“We’ve been through this, Jake. I’m not blowing anything off. I’ve given you everything I had.”

The slow trickle of honey was gone from her tone. The magnolia blossoms he’d originally been attracted to. He’d admired her warmth, her serenity. But now she was just cold. Calm.

Placid.

“I deserve someone who will give me that much back.”

His ears pricked. Funny, but it seemed like those should be his words. In awe he let her continue playing the victim. Her sniff was dainty. He could only admire the melodrama.

And wanted to applaud the wobbly, sad smile, the tears pooled in her eyes.

“I need that much, Jake. It’s time for me to say goodbye.”

A performance like that surely deserved an Oscar. He had no defense against the humorless smile that tilted his lips.

His pulse kicked even as his heart plummeted. There must be something left to salvage. Some reason he fought for this relationship. There must be words to keep him from returning to his lonely bachelor life. “But we’re… compatible.” And the lame justification sent him stalking back to the glass door.

Again her eyes met his openly. “You don’t love me, Jake.”

Love? The word pierced him, knifed him in the heart. “I… can’t… .feel that.” He moved, marched the length of the room, back to the table.

“Yes. You can.”

He glowered as his weeping heart dropped to his feet. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Sit down, Jake.”

With a scowl he landed in a chair.

Thoughtful, she rose and wandered across the room. Stood leaning against the slider, mimicking his prior stance, staring into the darkness. “Now do me a favor. Close your eyes.”

He opened his mouth to object, then closed it and did as she asked.

Her clothes rustled across the room. “Now, think of yourself thirty years in the future.”

The request was outrageous, yet the vision filtered into his mind even as he simmered.

“You’re married, you have grown children. Maybe grandchildren who come to visit. Your hair is gray, your sex life isn’t what it used to be, but you’re happy.

“Now, without picturing a face, think of your wife standing beside you, the woman you love.” Her voice lulled him. “She has gray hair too, her boobs sag, maybe she snores when she sleeps. But this is the woman who still makes you laugh, who keeps you on your toes. Now… in your mind… look up. Whose face do you see?”

Oh, God!
His eyes snapped open.

Michelle clicked through the kitchen on her high heels. Passed him—still sitting at the table—and the bag holding rose petals and bath bubbles, and warm chardonnay.

At the front door she paused, her head lowered. “Do you know you’ve never called me anything but Michelle? It’s never honey. Not baby or babe. Certainly not sweetheart. Not one single time. It’s always Michelle.”