Twin Tales (7 page)

‘It would be nice to have a new car,' said Connie. She was simply making conversation but it seemed to irritate Dad.

‘Well, we can't have a new car so there's no point asking,' said Dad, though Connie had done no such thing. Then he took a close look at her. ‘What's all that muck on your face, Connie?'

‘Make-up, Dad.'

‘
Make-up
? Whatever's going on? You're much much too young to wear make-up!'

‘It's just for dressing up, Dad. I wouldn't wear it out.'

‘You go and give your face a wash this minute.'

‘Oh, Dad. It looks lovely. I want to leave it on. And Karen's mum lets her wear pink lip gloss even when she goes out.'

‘Connie.' Dad was starting to look very cross. ‘I don't want to hear another word about Karen. Or Karen's mum. Or Karen's dad. Or any other member of Karen's family.'

‘Karen's baby sister, Susie,' said Connie helpfully, because she was the only one Dad hadn't mentioned.

Dad didn't find this helpful. He seemed to think she was being deliberately cheeky.

‘That's enough,' he said, firmly. ‘Go and wash your face at once. And then get ready for bed.'

‘But it's not my bedtime yet!' said Connie, indignantly. ‘Mum, it's not fair, Dad says I've got to go to bed and yet it's not my bedtime for another twenty minutes.'

‘If you're not upstairs in
twenty seconds
then you will seriously regret it, young lady,' Dad bellowed.

His shouts seriously upset the twins, who both started bawling.

Connie practically burst into tears herself. Her face was all screwed up as she ran up the stairs, and when she was in the bathroom a few tears spurted down her cheeks. Blue tears, because of the blue eyeshadow still on her eyelids. The shiny blue tears made her remember her two shiny blue beads.

‘It's not fair,' Connie said, sniffling. ‘Dad can shout all he wants and wake up the babies and he doesn't get told off. And I've got into trouble over nothing! I was being good, for goodness sake. It wouldn't be so bad if I was being bad, but I wasn't!'

She twiddled the beads in her little plait and they clinked together.

There was a blue flash in the bathroom. Then a knock at the door. Two knocks.

‘Who's that?' said Connie – although she knew perfectly well who it was going to be.

But there was no answer. The knocking got louder. There was a sort of scratching at the door. And then a growl.

‘What's that?' Connie called,
shivering.

‘A great big ferocious growly bear coming to hug you to death!'

‘Two big ferocious growly bears coming to gobble up their little girl!'

The bathroom door burst open and Connie squealed as twin dads rushed into the room, growling and grunting.

‘Grrrr!' ‘Grrrr!' ‘Help! Don't! Oooh! Tee-heeeee!' Connie screamed, as they picked her up in their pretend paws and tickled her with their pretend claws.

‘Connie? What's the matter? Why are you screaming? Hang on, Dad's coming!' Dad shouted from downstairs.

He came running into the bathroom and bumped right into the twin dads and Connie.

‘Get off my daughter!' Dad yelled, and he tried to drag Connie free.

‘She's our daughter, too!' ‘We're having a game. Connie loves a romp, don't you, darling?'

‘You haven't played with Connie for ages.'

‘You just get cross with her when the poor kid hasn't even done anything.'

‘I don't know what you two creeps are playing at, but
I'm
Connie's father!' Dad shouted.

‘We're playing growly bears, eh, Connie? Grrrr!'

‘And you call yourself a father, when you're no fun at all. Grrrr!'

‘Will you stop this! Get away from my Connie. Get out of this bathroom, do you hear?' Dad bellowed, and he tried to push them out.

It was a mistake. The twin dads were quite a bit bigger and they had much broader shoulders.

‘Who are you shoving, eh?'

‘Getting all hot and bothered! You need to cool down a bit.'

They picked Dad up and tipped him in the bath.

‘I'll hold him down while you turn on the tap!'

‘He could do with a swim!'

‘Don't.
Really
,' said Connie.

‘I don't know why you're sticking up for him. He never sticks up for you.'

‘And he hasn't taken you for a proper swim for ages, has he?'

‘It's not Dad's fault,' said Connie. She couldn't bear to see Dad stuck in the bath like that. ‘Here, Dad. I'll help you out,' she said, and she took hold of his hands and pulled with all her might.

Dad shot upwards so rapidly that Connie fell backwards, bowling the twin dads over.

‘Connie? Are you all right?' Dad asked, picking her up and hugging her even harder than a big ferocious growly bear.

The twin dads went on bowling right out of the bathroom, down the stairs, out of the door, out of sight.

10. Baby Blue-Eyes

Dad tucked Connie up in bed that night. He pretended she was still little and tucked all her old dolls and her big battered teddy in with her. He made the dolls talk in silly little twittery voices and he made the teddy growl. The growling made both of them look up and check the door, just to make sure no one else was coming to join in the game.

‘It's just us, Dad,' said Connie. ‘And Mum downstairs.'

‘And the babies,' said Dad.

‘Yep. The twins,' said Connie.

‘I suppose it's been very weird for you, Connie. I bet it must have seemed like the twins were taking over at times,' said Dad.

‘Mmm,' said Connie.

‘I think it'll take a while before we all get used to being a family of five. We're all tired out at the moment because the little blighters keep us awake half the night, but once they get a bit older it should get easier. If more expensive,' said Dad, sighing a little.

‘Poor Dad. It's not fair you've got to work more.'

‘Oh, I'll manage. Though I do miss our Saturday morning swim. Tell you what, Connie. How about if we go swimming on Sunday mornings instead? Just you and me. Would you like that?'

‘You bet,' said Connie.

‘Night night then, poppet,' said Dad.

Mum tiptoed in from the twins' room to say goodnight, too. She sat on one side of Connie's bed, and Dad sat on the other. They had a grand family cuddle, just like they had in the old days. Before the twins.

Perhaps Charles and Claire felt left out. There was a little snorty sound. A snuffle. And then two plaintive cries.

‘Oh-oh,' said Mum.

‘Oh-oh,' said Dad.

‘Oh-oh,' said Connie.

They all laughed, and then Mum and Dad went off to deal with a twin each and Connie curled up and went to sleep. She'd forgotten to undo the little plait. As she turned this way and that the beads bumped her head and stuck in uncomfortably. Connie mumbled in her sleep and fiddled with her plait. One blue bead slid off. Then the other. The plait unravelled and the two beads rolled across the pillow, off the bed, over the rug and disappeared down a crack in the floorboards.