Two Sides of Noelle: MC Romance (Demon Rebels MC Book 2) (12 page)

I pull out my headphones, attach them to my phone, and call Stacy. The line clicks on and I don’t even wait for a greeting before laying it out there. “He is an asshole! A jerk! A fucking butt munching limp dick weed! Did you see how he treated me? Goddammit, Stace! Why does he have to be this way? It would just be so much easier if he sucked in bed…but does he? No, of course not. He has to be incredibly imaginative and dirty and fucking perfect. I wanna hit him. Like for real, not when he’s fucking me rough, but just walk up to him and smack his face.” I pause to wait for her to add something. She is the one I call to bitch because she rants back with me.

“Um, I’ll get Stacy for you,” a deep masculine voice says slowly.

“Wait! Who is this?” Oh my God why didn’t I wait to hear her voice before jumping right in. Who the fuck answered Stacy’s phone?

“It’s Blaze, I think we’ve met. Here she is,” he answers my question chuckling.

Oh fuck me.

Rewinding my venting I try to remember what exactly I said about Wood to his freaking friend! Why me? Why can’t something go my way today?

“Hey, babes. Boy, did you sure give Blaze an earful. Day-um.”

“It’s not funny. Why did he answer your phone in the first place!?”

“Because I was in the bathroom so he answered for me. Now you need to rant some more or are you good?” she asks me calmly, but I know that tone. She is deflecting.

“Are you still sleeping with him? I thought it was a one-time thing. Or was he so good he’s now your main booty call?”

“Okay, look, if I tell you, you have to promise not to say anything. To anyone. Not playing around here.” What the heck? My good time girl sounds so serious.

“Yeah, of course I promise, Stace.”

“This thing between Blaze, Tech, and I never really ended. It was meant as a one-time thing, but I never left their place. Well only to pick up more clothes, but I’m practically moved in. I’m freaked out. But, strangely, really happy.”

Well snap.

“I’m glad you’re happy, honey. I won’t tell anyone, but you need to tell Jay. Don’t leave her out of the loop. Shit is changing all around us, but we stay constant.”

She laughs loudly before quieting to chuckles. “Three Amigos.”

“Three Musketeers.”

“Three blind mice.”

“Three little pigs.”

“Really? Little pigs?” Stacy asks me and I laugh.

“I’m running out of things of three. Oh what was the three sisters off
Charmed
called? Power of Three!”

“Idiot. The holy trinity!”

“Oh good one.” My anger withers away in the face of the great Stacy. We are both laughing hard and I pull into my driveway. “Thanks, Stace. I feel better.”

“Anytime, Nowey.”

We click off at the same time, neither one saying goodbye. Climbing out of my car, I head inside of my house and kick off my shoes trying to hold on to the happy feeling and not letting my previous anger creep back in. I want to call Cave and talk to him about all of this. I sure never would have thought I would want to call the big quiet biker when I needed someone to talk to.

“How am I supposed to fix things with him if he doesn’t even acknowledge my presence?” I ask my empty living room. A rush of the feeling I felt at the coffee shop hits me, igniting my anger again. Dammit. I shouldn’t have even thought of it after I hung up with Stacy. Now I’m going to stew on it until I explode. Then I will probably explode on Caveman and fuck up what I have with him too.

Damn Wood.

I step toward my couch to throw myself down in a huff, but freeze. No way am I hearing this right now. Spinning around I throw open my door and stomp out to my porch. Then wait as the bike pipes rumbling grows closer and closer. I know it’s not Cave. He always texts or calls before he heads my way. When that bike gets closer I better not see Wood astride his blue and chrome beast. I. Better. Not.

The bike pulls into my drive and I am down the porch steps before the engine cuts off. “Noelle,” Wood greets gruffly and I’m pissed. Like pissed.

“Oh! Now you can see me? Now you know who the fuck I am!?” I yell. He steps off his bike, but I get to him before he takes one step forward and with all my strength I push against his chest. Caught by surprise, Wood doesn’t brace. Stumbling backward, he hits his bike and almost flips over the other side, but catches himself on the tank.

“You seriously just pushed me?” He snaps out with a shocked expression on his face after finding his feet and towers over me. The whole thing would have been hilarious if I wasn’t still so mad. I did crack a smile when he scrambled, but that’s not important right now.

“Yes, I did. You have the audacity to treat me like I am invisible, then show up here because why? Obviously you want nothing from me so why do you keep hurting me?”

“Noelle.”

“No. I’m sorry for what I did. For what I said. I was scared and I didn’t mean it. I have been trying to apologize ever since but shit keeps messing up.” I don’t realize I am crying until drops of water splash on my arm that is stretched across my chest. All my anger and hurt combine to overwhelm me in the face of Wood.

“I know. I’m not mad at you. But this.” He waves his hand between us. “What I’m giving now is all I can give you. Take it or leave it.”

“I want more.”

“Not gonna fucking happen.”

“Why?” I ask, truly curious. Why won’t he even give me the chance?

“This is not share time. You gonna let me fuck that sweet ass of yours or am I leaving?”

I must have stared at him too long trying to sort out my thoughts, my feelings. Because he steps forward to touch me and I ward him off by raising up a hand. I need him. He feeds a part inside of me no one has ever come close to touching and now that part is awake and is bursting to be fed. But I can’t. I can’t keep giving myself to him and wrapping myself up in his arms for seconds out of my lifespan, hoping that when he leaves he doesn’t find another’s arms to play in. Or that one day after leaving my bed he finds a woman that hooks him into staying.

Every time we’d come together I would be giving him a piece of myself and I would gain nothing in return, then have him throw whatever I gave him away, like trash.

I can’t.

“Leaving. I’m sorry, Dillon. I need you to leave,” I choke on his name, but finish what I need to say before turning around and fleeing into my house. I close my eyes and sit down on my living room floor with my legs crossed, and let the tears fall freely as I listen to the fading of his motorcycle’s rumble as he rides farther away from me.

One question repeats in my head.

Did I make the right decision?

She sent me away.

Shit, she really sent me away.

I get that I fucked up with her. I know this. This is such a pussy thing to say, but I don’t think I can handle the emotional rollercoaster that is Noelle. She has so many different sides to her that tangle me up in knots. I know I’m not any better. Fuck, I’ve been all over the place just like her, but she packs a mindfuck that leaves me reeling and scrambling to retaliate.

I gave it to her straight though. We cleared the air and she knows straight up now what I can and can’t give to her. Fuck! So why am I pissed that I can’t give her more? Why can’t she just be happy with only getting my dick? Why does she need more from me? Fucking ties and chains. Pulling me in deeper until I’m all wrapped up in her. If I let that happen, like I did before with Sara, and if she proves it to be a mistake, I will go nuclear. Sara’s betrayal was enough to bend me to the breaking point and it’s taken ten fucking years to get back to being comfortable with myself again. I no longer flinch when seeing a baby or child playing or being held by their fathers. I’m finally okay.

Noelle would shatter me and nothing and no one would be left standing if she turned around and fucked me over.

I can’t give her the chance. Her turning me away is for the best. I’m fucking pissed about it, because she really is my sexual equal, and I will always be comparing other bitches to her. But staying away will protect me. Yeah, I’m right. I do sound like a fucking pussy.

Pulling into the compound, I jump off my bike and shove my way into the clubhouse. I need to work off this tension and there is only one option that’s left. Seeing who I need instantly behind the bar, I give him a chin lift and walk back outside. Tugging off my cut, I drape it over my bike’s bars and duck just in time, barely missing Caveman’s massive fist flying at my face. Thank fuck my peripherals are working just fine or I would have been seeing stars. The fucker is heavy-handed. But it’s fucking wonderful motivation to stay quick. Move or get hit by a fucking sledgehammer. I’d prefer to not.

Quieting my mind, I concentrate on the fight and relax into the release of fist hitting flesh, muscle, and bone.

“You’re a fuck up,” Caveman growls and I just laugh.

“Tell me something I don’t fucking already know.” He swings wide, and I counter with a combo to his ribs. He’s gonna fucking feel that later.

“Fuck,” I grunt out. I gloated too soon and stopped paying attention. His fist jabs against my chin before a quick follow-up to my solar plexus, knocking the wind straight the fuck out of me. “Motherfucker!” I gasp out. When I catch my breath I tackle the big asshole to the ground taking him by surprise, and did rapid one-two’s to his face. He blocks most of them, but I got in a few good knocks before we start rolling around the ground. Sharp rocks from the gravel rip into my back and arms, but the sting only adds to my release of tension, sharpening my mind and clearing away the cobwebs. Our fistfight moves to more of a wrestling match with the occasional jab and kick.

“E-fuckin’-nough!”

Our efforts slow then cease completely. Standing up, we look to our VP while knocking gravel dust away from our clothes. “Yo, Onyx.”

“What the fuck, Wood?” Onyx snaps and glares between Cave and me.

“Nothing, brother. I needed a fight and Cave was happy to oblige.” Onyx watches me for a moment, trying to ferret out the truth before turning his angry glare over to Cave.

“We got bad blood?”

“No. He just needed a good pounding.” I snicker at Caveman’s wording and so does Tech who’s standing next to Onyx. Onyx’s mouth twitches and I play along. Might as well.

Lifting up the hem of my grey shirt, I tighten and flash my compact eight pack abs and waggle my eyebrows at Onyx. “Just needed Cave’s hands all over this sexiness.”

“Fucker,” Cave snorts and pushes at my shoulder making me stumble a bit. What’s with people fucking pushing me today? Jesus.

“Gay ass motherfucker,” Onyx jokes before rolling his eyes, then stomps his big ass feet into the clubhouse followed by Tech.

“You feel better?”

I turn my attention onto my best friend and nod. “Yeah, thanks.”

“It’s good. I enjoy beating the fuck outta you.” I sling my colors back on and make a jacking off motion at him.

“You wish.”

“This about Noelle?” Fucking asshole. I was all relaxed and shit, now he’s gone and brought all that shit back up. I nod at him and take a seat at the bar. The Prospect, Tuck, hands me an opened beer and I take a healthy swig.

“You got to let her in, brother.”

“No. I can’t, Cave. Leave it.”

“Fine. For now. But keep thinking on it and I will keep taking care of her till you’re ready to help. Deal?”

Think about it? That’s all I’ve fucking been doing for fucking weeks.

“Fine.” More thinking on it won’t change my mind, but there isn’t any harm in doing more on the subject I suppose. “Take good care of her, Cave.” Because I won’t, I can’t. But I need the reassurance that she will be good.

“I plan on it. Forever.” Caveman drops that bomb on me, nods, then leaves me to myself.

Forever.

To have Noelle for forever.

Fuck, maybe with Cave being there I would be able to let myself give in because I know Cave would watch my back. And he sure as fuck wouldn’t let me invest in Noelle if he thought it would hurt me. Maybe we could be together after all.

Mother. Fucker.

I’m really hating his ass right now.