Ultimatum (Dirty Secrets #1) (4 page)

“Are you okay?”
he signs to me.

“Yeah. Just had to be questioned by the police.”

His face turns up in a smirk, but I can see the worry in his eyes. “What did you do this time?”

“Daisy is missing.” We made a special sign for Daisy’s name. It’s the word
bitch
signed with a ‘D’ instead of a ‘B’. It was Jace’s idea, but I didn’t protest, though now that she’s missing I feel kind of guilty.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. You know how she is. She’ll probably stay gone a few days and make a dramatic reappearance,”
Jace signs.

He’s right. This sounds exactly like something she would want to do. She’s probably still pouting from not being the center of everybody’s attention yesterday. She’ll come back and make up some outrageous story. It’s
exactly
something she would plan, which makes me hate her. She’s making all her friends and her mom worry. When she comes back, I’m done. Frannie will help me knock her off her pedestal, and I’ll enjoy my senior year drama-free… and Daisy-free.

“She’s probably on the beach somewhere right now, sipping fruity drinks from umbrella straws and flirting with some hot guy,”
I sign to him. “I’m not worried about her. She can take care of herself.”

I look up at the teacher. She’s writing on the board, not paying attention to Jace and me. If she notices us signing, she doesn’t say anything.

Finally, she turns back around. “Everybody, take out what you wrote yesterday, and pass it to the person on your right.”

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

Yesterday, Mrs. Duff told us that we could write anything we wanted. I honestly didn’t think anybody but her would read it. Jace is sitting on my right. And yesterday I wrote a song. About him.

Kill me now.

“Can you pretend to read it?” I ask him. “Just don’t read it for real.”

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because it’s a song,” I answer.

“Then I want to read it.”

“It’s not finished yet,” I say. “And it’s not very good.”

“No talking,” Mrs. Duff says.

“Jace, please,” I sign.

He doesn’t respond, he just reads.

I read the paper of the person to my right. They wrote a poem about a dog who plays guitar. It is funny, but I can’t concentrate on anything but the fact that Jace is reading my song.

After about five minutes, the teacher tells us to write something in response to what the other person wrote. I decide to spice up the person’s story and add a drummer that’s a cat and a bass player that’s a bear. After ten more minutes, we pass our stories back. I read my song.

I look at you.

You look away.

I pretend I don’t notice the way you stare.

The way you laugh.

The things you say.

Everything about you makes it hard to walk away.

I’ve fallen for you.

You know that it’s true.

You’ve fallen for me.

I hope that it’s true.

We’re both just too damn stubborn to admit.

We belong together.

At the bottom, I see Jace’s response.

You look at me.

I look away.

You pretend you don’t notice the way I stare.

He also underlined the line
we belong together
. I look over at Jace and see that he is smiling.

“Good song,” he signs. “We should put music to it and perform it.”

“I already wrote the music to it,” I sign back.

“Awesome. Maybe we can practice it Thursday.”

Thursday is our next band practice. “Sounds good,” I sign.

The bell rings. Other than what he wrote back, Jace doesn’t acknowledge the fact that I wrote the song about him. As always, we will continue pretending that we don’t notice each other.

I just wish I was brave enough to
really
tell him how I feel.

Lunch

I kind of like that part of me.

Rumors are flying around the lunchroom, which doesn’t surprise me. In a school this small, gossip tends to blow up pretty fast. By now, everybody has heard about Daisy going missing, and everybody is staring.

When Frannie sits down at the table, she rolls her eyes. “God, Dee would love all this attention. Which is probably exactly what she wants. When she comes back, she will make a big show of things, making everybody feel sorry for her.”

“
If
she comes back,” Cassidy says. “What if this isn’t just Dee wanting attention? What if something bad really happened to her?”

Hayden sits forward, and frowns at Cassidy. “You don’t really believe that, do you, Cass?”

“No,” Cassidy replies, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I can see that she’s genuinely concerned about Dee. She’s probably the only one out of all of us, because we
all
know Daisy. This isn’t the first time she’s disappeared for days at a time, but this is the first time she’s ever been caught disappearing. Nobody knows what she does when she’s gone. When we question her, she always changes the subject in a way that we don’t know
how
to bring it back up again. I’ve considered everything, from drugs to a secret boyfriend, but Dee is too smart to take drugs. She might be a bitch, but she’s
not
stupid.

“She’ll show up,” Frannie says. “I know she will, but probably not for a few days. Being gone one day won’t be enough for her. She will want to give everybody enough time to think of all possible scenarios.”

“Probably long enough that when she comes back, we’ll be so relieved that we’ll forgive her,” Emma says. “Dee isn’t stupid. She knows that we are pissed enough to kick her out of our group.”

“And she’s getting exactly what she wants right now,” Hayden says. “Look at us, talking about her. She planned for exactly this. I say we just pretend like she’s out sick and not give her any satisfaction.”

“Good idea,” Frannie says. “Even when she comes back, we will just ignore her. When she says hi, we will continue like we never heard her. When she looks at us, we will just look
through
her, like she’s not even here.”

Wow, that’s kind of harsh.

“That’s a bit extreme,” Cassidy says, mimicking my thoughts.

“You have to admit, she deserves it,” Hayden says to Cassidy, then she looks at me. “Right, Madi?”

Everybody turns to look at me, and I’m not sure how to react. I know what everybody
wants
me to say. Even Cassidy, who claims this is harsh, wants me to say that we should do it. After all, Dee has been the cruelest to me.

“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “I think that Cass is right and that is really harsh. We are all thinking about the mean things Daisy has done to us, but what about the good stuff? She’s not
always
bad. Remember all the slumber parties Dee threw for us freshman year?”

Frannie smiles. “Every Friday night. I looked forward to those nights so much. Dee wasn’t her normally bitchy self. We didn’t have to worry about our clothes, hair, or make-up. We could just be ourselves, even if only for a few hours that night.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but Dee certainly knows how to keep a secret,” Hayden says. “I’ve told her stuff that I would be devastated if it got out. And she’s never told anybody. Out of everybody, I think I trust her most.”

Dee has a way of knowing things about you, that even you don’t know about yourself. I’ve never come to her with a secret about myself, but she’s come to me. I’m not sure if I should trust what she told me to be the truth, but I can’t stop thinking about it… Secrets about my dad and my family… Secrets that would be better off unknown. I tell myself what she said was a lie, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. Deep down, I’ve wondered before she told me.

I stop the thought before it can go any further. I don’t think I want to know the truth, and searching for it would only hurt me more.

“Dee was the one who pointed out my brother’s drug problem,” Emma says. “I mean, deep down I
knew
that he was using again. When she told me, I screamed at her and threw a book at her head. I
hated
her so much. But once I calmed down, I realized that she was right. Because of her, my family got my brother help before the problem escalated. Without her, I’d hate to wonder what would happen to him.”

All their stories make my chest tighten. They all have wonderful experiences with Dee, but I don’t have any. Every nice thing she’s ever said to me has been laced with something equally hurtful. No matter how hard I try to be her friend, it just hasn’t happened, and I don’t think it ever will. She
hates
me, and I don’t know why. I wish I did. I want us all to enjoy our last year of high school. I want this year to be the most memorable of my life.

Part of me wonders what it would be like if Daisy never came back, and I feel guilty for even thinking it. Because, for one small second, I think I would
really
like it, and that pretty much makes me just as big of a bitch as Daisy. The sad part is, I kind of like that part of me.

4pm

Anything involving a hot guy.

Through the rest of the day, I can’t stop thinking about the conversation in the lunchroom. I’m also starting to worry about Daisy, even though I probably shouldn’t. This is just how she is. Everybody knows that.

After school, Frannie comes over to my house. Cheerleading practice was canceled because of the rain, and she decided that we need to talk more… about Daisy… about
everything
.

Frannie and I sit on the front porch swing watching the rain fall. Right across the small paved road in front of my house is the lake. There is a deck that leads into the water… the same deck that has been there since I was a kid. My dad built it, and it’s still standing because Trey frequently does maintenance work on it. I don’t think he could stand to let the deck rot away. Trey was young when Dad built it, but he helped in the only way a five year old could. He handed him nails and got him bottles of water from the cooler. In a way, I think he feels connected to him when he works on the deck.

“I can’t believe you wake up at five every morning to run five miles,” Frannie says. “I hate it when the coach makes us run.”

“Running is a nice escape,” I tell her. “I guess it’s not for everybody. Though I’m surprised you don’t like to run. You’re so in shape.”

“I can be in shape in other ways than running,” she says. “I much prefer the elliptical. Or walking. Though, maybe I’d run too if I had such an amazing view every morning. I’m so jealous of your house.”

Frannie’s family lives in the trailer park. She, Cassidy, and her younger half-sister, Anna, share a bedroom. Their bedroom is hardly big enough for one person, let alone three.

“At least you have a family that loves you,” I say, thinking how I would gladly give up this house to have a mom that loved me. Frannie’s dad left when she was three, but her stepdad is good to her.

“You’re right. I am thankful for what I have, even if it isn’t much,” she says. “Actually, I was thinking about getting a job at the diner my mom works at. Her boss said she would work around cheerleading practice and school. It would be a lot of work, but then I’d finally be able to save for college. Though, it wouldn’t leave much time for hanging out with everybody.”

“High school is temporary. There is only one year left before we all go off to college and do our own thing. I think that you should think about you and your future.”

She nods. “I think I’ll call her up today.”

“Good,” I say, grinning. “I wouldn’t mind getting a job if my mom would let me.”

My mom doesn’t care about me, but she won’t let me get a job. She says I should focus on school and that I already have the money for college… why do I need a job? I want a job mostly so I can get away from her and Ben, but of course I’d never say
that
to her.

Honestly, that’s why I do so much at school. I’m ready for play practice to start. That will give me something to do for a few days of the week. And if I get a solo in glee club, that will take even more of my time.

“So where do you think Daisy is?” Frannie asks me.

“Probably on the beach, flirting with a hot guy,” I answer. “That or she’s in a hotel room with some hot guy. Definitely anything involving a hot guy.”

Frannie laughs. “You’re right.”

“When she gets back, I think I might want to kick her out of our group,” I admit, biting my lip.

“I know you do.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t. She sounds like she’s been so nice to you guys,” I say.

“She may have her moments, but she’s also extremely hateful. Plus, we hate seeing the way she treats you,” Frannie says. “And you have been nothing but nice to us, so we are going to take your side… no matter
what
you decide.”

“Thanks, Fran.”

She puts her around me and gives me a side hug before standing up. “I should get going. I have to pick Mom up in thirty minutes, and I want to get there early so maybe I can get the job.”

“Good luck.”

I watch as Frannie walks out to her parents’ 1970 model Chevy truck. She and Cassidy drive to school in it every day after they drop their mom off at work. Their stepdad has a small car that he drives to the next town over for work. He works third shift at a factory, but they’re always working overtime. Sometimes he works sixty-hour work weeks in the heat. I hate it for them. I don’t understand how people who work so hard and are such good people have so little, while Ben sits on his ass most of the time and has it all. Why is it fair that he inherited millions of dollars? Money, I might add, that my mom’s never seen a dime of. They’ve been dating for nearly two years now. He sees how hard she works. Though I guess I shouldn’t expect anymore from him. He is extremely lazy, and every day I hate him just a little bit more.

Frannie drives off, and I head inside to start dinner. When I set the table, I set two extra plates for Jace and Thayer. They haven’t told me they’re coming yet, but they always do.

I love that they do.

7pm

The guy’s an idiot.

Dinner is my favorite time of the day. Probably because dinner involves all of my favorite people — Trey, Haliee, Jace, and Thayer. My mom and Ben are never here, and it’s just peaceful. Nobody talks, we all just sign, because nobody wants to leave Thayer out of the conversation.