Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (3 page)

Dex and I started out good, really good. Talking and texting every day when we weren’t together, when we were together it was hot and we seemed to have a connection. It was so good I thought he was it for me, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him even being as young as I was. But things began to slowly change and before I was actually able to really realize it, it was too late.

Seven months in and things with Dex had already began to change but I refused to see it or listen to Mollie. “Lexie come on, when you gonna open those beautiful hazel eyes of yours? He leaves you behind and only goes out with his friends and does God knows what and with God knows who. He, as much as I hate to say it, used to be somewhat affectionate with you and now he’s completely distant acting like you aren’t even there. He only ever calls you “cute” or “nice” and honey you are more than that. I know he puts you down in any way he can, I’ve been there and heard it. Saying you aren’t sexy enough for him or his dudes to be around and I’ve heard him point out other girls saying how hot they are and wanting to bang them, while you were right there!” she paused looking at me carefully, “He doesn’t care about you Alexia, you can’t think this is the way a man treats his girl, cause it’s not. You deserve better than that, you have to know that,” she pleaded with me.

Deep down I knew Mollie was right about everything, I’d told her everything when it happened but her bringing it up angered me and I felt like she was throwing it in my face. It caused a huge fight and we didn’t talk for days. I was too ashamed to admit she was right and that I needed a way out from Dex but I was so far gone that I couldn’t do it because I thought I loved him. Over time it became easier and I told myself he loved me and that’s how someone who loves you treated you.

Four and a half months later I found out I was pregnant. It was a shock since I was on the pill and had been even before we started dating. Dex wasn’t one bit happy, he flipped to be exact. Accusing me of trapping him into the relationship and wanting to keep my hook into him but what he didn’t know was before I found out, I was getting ready to end it. Then once I saw the pink plus sign everything changed and from that day forward my life changed, not all for the best but more for the worse.

Mollie’s face appeared in front of mine. “Yo, Lexie, where’d you go?”

“Huh?” I asked shaking my head, my brows knitting together.

“I’ve been calling your name from the kitchen for like a hundred years and you didn’t answer, you’ve just been looking at the wall, very intensely I might add.” She looked at me pointedly knowing where my mind went.

“Molls I’m fine. It was nothing,” I lied.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Liar, I know that look in your eyes. I know exactly where your thoughts were just then, they were on Dex the fucking douchebag,” she said in a matter of fact tone.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. Let’s just eat and then we can talk.” I changed directions quick before we got into a full on conversation about Dex.

Mollie eyed me knowing what I was doing but her face softened and her body relaxed. “I went out and got some things this morning while you and Finn were still asleep.”

“What kind of things?” I eyed her curiously.

Mollie’s eyes brightened as the corner of her lips curled. “Oh you know... some groceries,” she turned and walked into the kitchen, “a few things for around the house, some towels, new bed sets for all of us, couple things for the kitchen, some movies, new clothes for all of us and toys for Finn. Nothing too major, most of it was on sale. Lucky hey!” She said nonchalantly and I knew she was hiding something from me.

My eyes widen as my jaw hung open in shock, “What... the...
fuck,
” I whispered my eyes piercing into hers. “Please tell me you are joking Moll’s, I mean seriously tell me your fuckin’ joking.”

She looked at me with her lips curled into a small smile. “Lexie, chill it’s all good, believe me and trust me when I say what I’m going to say next. One, we need all that stuff, you can’t deny that. And two, I have a feeling we are going to be here awhile. I don’t know how to explain it but I just have a very good feeling about being here; one I haven’t had in awhile or ever got at any of our other places.”

I felt my body stiffen; it was unlike Mollie to say anything positive about the places we went. She was the one who was always a few steps ahead of things in regards to where we went next; when it was time to leave, she was the one who locked down places and small jobs for us.

“You also said you had a really good feeling about that hole in the wall hair salon you went to when we went to our senior formal, you do remember what that ‘very good’ feeling got you right? And yeah I totally went there,” I said crossing my arms over my chest. Mollie was always one who took her looks very seriously, and that hole in the wall salon didn’t have a good ending.

Her eyes flew open and her jaw hit the floor before she picked it up and spoke. “Alexia May Todd, how
dare
you bring up
that
experience? My hair turned green! I had to go to senior formal like that!”

I couldn’t help but snort at the memory, it was something else. It was horrible at the time, but thinking back, fuckin’ hilarious. “Moll...”

“Lexie just trust me would you, let’s make some food and then we will talk and I can explain everything alright?” she said then started to walk back into the kitchen.

“Fine, but do me a favor?” I asked.

“Anything,” she replied.

“Do
not
call me Alexia again,” I said my voice hard and firm.

“Lexie, without getting mad and freaking out, what do you think of the house?” Mollie asked as I walked back into the kitchen.

After making Finn one of his favorite breakfasts consisting of chocolate chip banana pancakes, I turned the television on for him and put on one of the
Spider-Man
movies Mollie bought him before going back into the kitchen.

“Mollie...” I sighed.

“Lexie, what do you think?”

“It’s... nice, who wouldn’t like it. It has a fireplace and a gorgeous bay window, two things I’ve always wanted in a house. Are you going to explain to me what is going on and why you went and bought all that stuff when you know when the time comes to leave we won’t be able to take some of it with us?”

“Actually that’s where you’re wrong babe.” She smiled nervously.

“I’m sorry, come again?” I asked slightly taken back.

Mollie stayed silent for a moment hopping up onto the kitchen counter and crossing her ankles as they dangled in the air. “Lexie... this place, this town, it’s... it’s it. I see us here for a while honey. Everything in me is telling me this is where we are going to call...” she looked at me before whispering, “home.”

Home –
a four letter word that held so much meaning. You could say we hadn’t had a home in eight months but in reality Finn and I hadn’t had a home in... ever. We had a house but it was never a home where we were safe or felt safe. So hearing Mollie say it and to believe we were here was shocking and I didn’t know what to say.

“Mollie... you know what that would mean to me to have... you know. But this has been our life for the last eight months now. Every place is the same, we get there and leave before Dex somehow gets wind and finds us and then it starts all over again.”

“I know Lexie, believe me I know. But... umm... there was just something about this place. When I first found the ad and saw the pictures, there was something inside me telling me we had to come here and had to have this house. I can’t explain it any other way.” Her eyes never left mine; there was hope and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on, almost like she was nervous about something.

“Moll’s what aren’t you telling me?” I asked, eyeing her carefully, knowing there was more to her story than just a feeling.

Mollie pulled her lip between her teeth as she played with her hands in her lap. And I knew what that look meant, I had seen it many times before; there was more than just a feeling.

Mollie hesitated.

Her lip released from her teeth. “Uh... well you see, the house it’s... almost, well no, now it’s ours.”

I did the only thing I could think of doing. I laughed. I laughed so hard my gut hurt and my eyes filled with tears. I doubled over, my hand slapped against my knee as I continued to laugh. After it began to subside I gathered myself. Still laughing lightly I spoke. “I’m sorry Mollie; I could have sworn you just said this is our place.”

“That’s what I said,” she said flat out.

My eyes cut to her, humor gone. I swallowed hard as my body tensed and locked in place, a muscle clenched in my stomach, I was about to lose not just my breakfast but my cool as well.

“What... the...
fuck!”
I snapped louder than I wanted to. “What the hell do you mean Mollie?” I hissed.

“Calm down Lexie-”

“No, tell me what’s going on, we don’t have that kind of money to
buy
a house Mollie, I mean we have money but not
that
kind of money.” I threw my hands in the air.

“Stop spazzing and listen would ya?”

I rolled my eyes. “This should be good,” I said sarcastically

She took a deep breath before she began. “I came across this place a few weeks before we left Yorkton. I looked at the pictures online at the library and Lexie, I saw this place and it just hit me, I just knew we had to be here. Like I said before I can’t explain the feeling. So after talking to the owners and realizing there was no way we could afford a place like this, I made a call.”

“What call?” I asked as my eyebrows rose.

“I called my dad...” she trailed off. “Then he called your dad...” she said uneasily

I fell back against the counter. “I’m sorry... I don’t understand,” I breathed out.

“We would have never been able to afford this on our own. So I made a decision, placed the call and now we’re here.” She shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

“When I called my dad, he was relieved to hear from me and to know we were safe and alright. I gave him the short version of what went down with Dex, and how we had to get you and Finn away, that this was the only way to go and there was no way you were going alone. He understood. You know my family loves both you and Finn.” She paused, looking at me before continuing. “I told him about the house situation and he said he would take care of it and to give him a few days. So I did, and after a few days I got in touch with him and that’s when he told me he met with your father and told him what happened with Dex. I guess him and your mom have been going crazy with worry over Finn and you. Anyways, he and dad, well they bought the house for us, called the owners and paid for it in full.” Her eyes were still on me as I began processing everything she was telling me. When I didn’t say anything she continued.

“I know you’re probably freaking out right now, I understand. There’s a reason I found this place, a reason it called to me and I had to do this.” She paused before continuing when I still didn’t say anything. “It’s time we start living our life and not in fear, ready to book it when and if Dex comes looking.” She finished with a rush on her last breath.

I felt a lump form in my throat as Mollie finished speaking. I had no idea what to say, it was too much, too much to deal with. I felt like my world was sucking me in and I had no way to escape it. Everything Mollie told me was good news, or it should have been but in all honesty it scared the shit out of me. Especially with my father involved, I hadn’t seen my parents since him and my mother showed up at the hospital when Finn was born and now he was involved like he cared about us and I was just supposed to except that. It was too much to deal with along with everything else that was on my plate.

“Lexie... talk to me.” Mollies soft voice cut through my thoughts.

I threw my hand out to stop her, “I don’t feel well, I think I need to lay down for a bit, think about everything. I need to gather my thoughts. Can you give me some time and keep an eye on Finn?” I asked, my voice cracking in the middle.

“Of course go lay down, we can talk later. Finn and I will finish his movie and take a look at his room, get the bedding and all that washed.” A small smile spread across her lips but I could tell she was worried and nervous.