Uncertain (14 page)

“It’ll be fine, Mel. He seems like a great guy. Just stay here, and I’ll get you a drink, and I’ll just bring him out when he gets here. Hang out with my brothers for a minute.”

He had started to walk away again when I said in a hushed voice, “Don’t you think it’s kind of a strange time to date someone?”

I immediately regretted it when his face and posture changed, and he looked away, his eyes darting around, clearly trying to interpret my meaning.

“With all that’s happened,” I clarified.

His eyes still were darting around. My stomach sank.

“I mean with all that’s happened with
Drina
,” I clarified, still whispering.

“Oh. No, not at all.

I sighed.

“Be back in a bit. You guys!” he shouted to his brothers to get their attention. “Get her a chair.” He turned back to me. “Your hair looks so good.” He jogged into the house.

A few minutes later, Kevin walked out with a forced look of excitement on his face and two drinks in his hands. Wren trailed behind, looking sheepish and closing the door behind him.

I’d forgotten how much I liked the way he looked. His dark-blond hair was longer than the last time and a little bit messier. He had on an unzipped, puffy, dark down coat and a tight-fitting button-down under it. He was lit by only the light from the house and the light from the fire. 

“Hi,” he said to me, walking over to give me a hug.

“Hi.”

“Not wet this time?” he joked.

“Nope,” I said, smiling a little.

“And
here’s
a chair for youuu,” Kevin sang “I’ve gotta grab some more wood. You two are with me,” he said to his brothers. They dropped their shoulders and gave him a look, following without wanting to.

I stared at the fire, not looking at Wren who sat next to me. A few minutes passed. I was so pre-occupied with everything happening that I didn’t want to talk to him at all; I just wanted to sit by the fire and pass the time.

“So. How have you been?” he said after a few minutes.

“Pretty good.” I looked over at him and studied his features. He had a mole on his jawline that I hadn’t noticed before, and he still had the habit of clenching his jaw muscles. I noticed it even in the low firelight. He was clean shaven and I noticed that he smelled like mint.

“You stare a lot,” he said, a smile forming.

I was going to look away, but I didn’t. “I know,” I answered. Wren stared right back.

“Are you happy to see me?” he asked, looking away and fussing with the arm of the metal chair he was sitting on.

“Yeah, I just have a lot happening. I don’t mean to be rude.”

“You’re not,” he said. “I did wonder something…” He looked around, making sure we were still alone.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Are you at all interested in going out on a real date?”

Kevin appeared in the patio door behind Wren, asking me with his mouth and pointing dramatically asking if he should come out. I shook my head ‘no’ slightly.

“No?” Wren said.

“Oh, not you. That was just Kevin, asking a question behind you.” I turned my head toward the fire. I didn’t want to go out on a date, though. At all. I didn’t even want to think about it. Still, after he had driven all the way out here, I felt that I shouldn’t say no. “Um, maybe not a big thing?  Maybe just something low key?” I said, my voice higher than usual. I tilted my head back and started fluffing my hair and abruptly stopped, thinking I was being ridiculous.

“Low key is great.” He said.

“Like jeans and a sweatshirt type low key?”

“Absolutely.” He looked at the fire for a little bit. “I actually can’t stay for long tonight. I just came here to ask you that in person. But I do have one more question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“What is…your relationship with Kevin?”

This was easy. I’d had to answer it a hundred times before.

“He’s just my good friend.”

I said the words, but I wasn’t sure they were quite as precise as they had been the other times I had been asked that question. We’d been through so much. So much. More than most friends would have been through in a lifetime. He was more than a friend. My stomach squished at the thought. I doubted that type of explanation would work out well here, so I kept quiet.

“You guys seem to like—I don’t know—finish each other’s sentences.”

I didn’t answer. I just stared into the fire.

“You know?” he asked.

“Yeah, well. We’ve been through a lot.”

“But never dated?”

“Never dated,” I told him.

“OK, that’s cool. Just checking.” He laughed what sounded like a nervous laugh. “I wondered. I find you intriguing.” I looked over at him. He had a giant smile on his face and adjusted his chair to face me a little more

“I’m OK with that,” I said, smiling back. He reached his arm out and put his hand on mine, for a few seconds. 

The patio door opened, and we both looked over.  It was my grampa. “It’s getting a little hot in there for me,” he said as he gently took a couple of steps.

“Come sit with us,” I said. “Wren, this is my grampa. His name is Rocky. Grampa, this is Wren. A friend. He’s a firefighter.” I twisted up my hair and held it.

Wren stood up abruptly and shook my grampa’s hand, then walked over to the side of the fire to get him a chair. He set it next to me.

Normally, my grampa and I could sit silently next to each other for hours if we didn’t have anything in particular to talk about. But my grampa didn’t want Wren to feel uncomfortable, I guessed. “How’d you know each other?” Grampa asked me.

“Oh, it was that house with the tree that caught on fire. Remember that?” I told him.

“Oh, yes. I surely do,” my grampa said, nodding severely. “You were called then, Wren? Because of the fire?”

“Yes, sir. That’s right. Our rig got to the scene first. It was just a small fire, thank goodness.” He looked very sincere, with horizontal folds marking his forehead.

We sat quietly looking at the fire and at the stars until Wren got up. “I actually have to start a shift, so I’m gonna have to leave now. It was great seeing you, Mel, and great meeting you, sir.” He shook my grampa’s hand again.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Grampa said to Wren. “I’ll be right back, honey,” my grampa said.

Smooth, I thought, wishing he’d stayed. He’d clearly left in case we wanted to say goodbye romantically.  I could almost hear his thoughts occur to him. I watched Wren watching my grampa walk into the house and spoke again when he turned to me.

“Well, thank you for making the trip out here. I guess we should’ve gone into the house for the actual party at some point.” I glanced inside at all the people talking with glasses in one hand.

“This was way better.” He smiled at me, and I looked at him without returning the smile. “It’s not often that I get to sit and
watch
a fire burn.” He looked at me with a playful smile. “Haaaa.”

I laughed.

We both looked at the people inside, all holding drinks. Two people were perfectly centered in the kitchen window closest to us. Wren made up words they were saying. The man stood taller and pulled up his pants. Wren mocked. “See? My pants are too big. Keeping them up is a full time job.” The lady laughed and then spoke. Wren changed his voice to a high-pitched sound. “Hehehe. I’m a professional ballerina.” She put her hand on her chest and got serious. “With a heart condition.”

“Wait—where do you live?” I asked with a laugh in my voice.

“Clawson.”

“You drove all the way out to Dexter for like half-an-hour?”

“Sure. Why not.”

“That was really nice of you.”

He extended his arms and leaned over partially, to see if I would want to hug him. I gave him a hug, and he breathed out. “I can’t wait to see you for our low-key date.”

              I smiled.

After Wren left, I went into the house. It was hot inside and smelled like cinnamon. I just loved this house. But tonight it was bursting at the seams with people, most of whom were in a sweater of some type. After stepping into the house, I stood by the patio door, slowly closing it behind me.

              I spotted the sofa in the front room where a couple of guys were sloshing their red wine around in wide wine glasses and smelling it, barely drinking the stuff. I grabbed a bottle of beer and sat down next to them. They seemed—or were trying to be—so refined that I briefly toyed with the idea of opening my beer bottle with my teeth. I so would’ve done it. Wouldn’t have been the first time, either. I was slightly disappointed to see that it was a twist-off cap.

I plopped onto the sofa, leaned back to sink into the soft cushions, and looked around. Everyone had a glass or bottle in their hands. I noticed a group of quiet women who sat closest to the buffet table, giggling and whispering a lot. The stair rail was wrought iron and had elaborate greenery and white twinkling lights wrapped around it. Rustic-style Christmas trees stood in every room. Happy New Year was on several pieces of hanging wall décor, and Happy Hanukkah was hung on banners and on an oversized inflatable menorah near the fireplace.

I spotted Kevin, who was talking with some guys I hadn’t seen before, and my grampa, who was talking with Kevin’s dad again. I’d see Vita bustle by every few minutes, refilling things or getting drinks for people. I started to get up to see if I could help Vita when I heard a deep, female, scratchy voice.

“So you’re Mel.”

I turned my head quickly to find a woman smiling at me. She squeezed in next to the wine-obsessed men, touching the guy closest to me with her back. She didn’t seem to care, but he stood right up, seeming annoyed.

“Yeah.” I said, looking at her. She had dark lipstick on and nearly black hair with bangs that were super straight. She wore dark eyeliner all around her green eyes. Her red sweater closely matched her lipstick, and she wore a black skirt that came just below her knees with colorful floral embroidery all over, and had on tall, black, high-heeled boots.

When I answered, I expected her to introduce herself. Instead, she just looked as though I was entertaining to her, and she didn’t say anything.

Finally, I asked. “Who are you?”

“I’m Layla.”

I turned my head, wondering how I knew that name.

“I’m a friend of Vita’s. I’m a medium.”

I struggled for a minute to remember what that meant.

“Does that freak you out?”

“I’m trying to remember what it means.”

“Just that I can talk to the other side. Well, it’s more listening than talking, if I’m honest.”

“Like you hear them all the time?”

“No. I have little tricks. Sometimes I hear them when I don’t want to, but most of the time I can manage it all right.”

She tilted her head to look back at me in an odd way.

“That was you,” I said, remembering. “On the phone with Vita that day.”

Layla nodded. “It was.”

“What was that about?”

“I know quite a bit I could tell you, Amelia.”

I got a chill, and my body shivered. Layla laughed. Everything about this woman was intense. She never broke eye contact. I’ve been told that I have a habit of staring, but man, this woman really took it far. I wondered for a second if I ever stared
this
much.
I
was almost feeling uncomfortable.

“Do you ever feel it?” she asked, leaning in.

“Feel what.”

She smiled.

“Feel what?” I felt myself getting agitated.

“You have a lot of fans on the other side.”

“What does that mean?”

She didn’t answer immediately and just kept looking at me. “You’re very loved.”

“OK.” What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

“Your mother is very proud of you. She tries to never leave you.”

My stomach sank. Now she had my attention. I repositioned myself on the sofa.

“She wants you to forgive him completely.”

I had a burning feeling in my stomach. “Why are you even telling me that?” I asked a little more sternly than I meant to.”

“It’s not really me if you think about it,” she said more gently. “I can see that you struggle to believe all of this. But you have to know what’s possible now. Seems like you’ve been through quite a bit recently.”

I didn’t know what to say to this woman. I wasn’t sure in the least what to do.

“I really am honored to meet you. I didn’t mean to catch you off-guard. She just kept asking me to talk to you,” Layla said. “I’ve never seen such activity on the other side for a person whose energy I’m so close to.”

“Seriously?” I asked, quietly.

Layla nodded slowly, still staring.

“Do you want to hear more?” she asked me.

“Just a little.” My curiosity was aroused, I had to admit.