Uncovering You 8: Redemption (7 page)

“I didn’t want to bring it up this way,” he begins. “And I still haven’t told Fey. I was waiting for you to do it. I wanted to see if you would.” He rubs his thighs uncomfortably, and then keeps going. “But I think, at this point, it’s safe to assume that you won’t.”

I eye him warily. Fey looks from me to Robin, and back to me, her eyes full of suspicion.

“What are you talking about, Robin?” I ask. That growing apprehension kicks into overdrive.

“I…” he exhales, “know who owns this building.”

The words hit me like a blow to the gut. For a brief second, the room spins. I’m glad I’m sitting down.

“I found out this morning,” he continues, glancing at Fey. “And suddenly your insistence last night made so much more sense.”

Caught
, I think, as the worst feeling of dread washes over me.

“What are you saying, Robin?” Fey asks. “You don’t mean that…that it belongs to Jeremy Stonehart. Do you?”

Robin looks at his future wife and nods.

Fey gives a little shocked gasp. Outrage flickers over her face. She turns on me.

“The entire chain is owned by a distant real estate subsidiary of Stonehart Industries,” Robin continues. “It would have been impossible to trace the link even a few weeks ago. But with the company going public soon, certain papers detailing the legal structure of all the companies under Stonehart Industries’ umbrella have emerged. I traced the link myself. It’s undeniable.”

“Lilly,” Fey asks slowly. “Did you know about this? Is it true?” she shushes Robin when he tries to speak. “Let her answer!” she snaps at him. “I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. She can’t be expected to know all the companies Jeremy Stonehart owns.” She looks at me, and her voice takes on an almost pleading quality. “Can she?” she finishes softly.

I bite my lip, as I always do when I’m indecisive, nervous.

Do I lie? Do I look my friend straight in the face and deny that I knew the link?

Or, do I muster up the courage to tell them the truth? Do I admit to my deceit? Do I tell them, “
Yes, I brought you here because I wanted to be close to Jeremy. I wanted to have the ability to speak with him, one-on-one, without you knowing!”

Do I tell them that he came to pay me a visit last night?

Well, that last part, nobody has to know.

“Lilly?” Fey interrupts me. I realize a long time has passed without my having spoken. “Did you know?”

I look at her. I meet her eyes. And I roll my shoulders back, sit up tall, and answer her with full confidence.

“Yes,” I say.

Her eyes widen and her jaw drops. She looks at me as if seeing somebody else. As if seeing a whole different person.

Then, the explosion comes.

“I can’t believe this!” she almost screams. “Lilly, I can’t believe you would do that to us! Don’t you know the type of man he is? Don’t you know the kind of danger we’re in, just being here?” She snatches up her purse, and goes to grab Robin. “Come on. We’re leaving. We’re not spending another moment in this place. I already put my neck on the line just coming to California. That was for
her
benefit.” She addresses me that way, as if pretending that I’m not in the room. “Everything we did, you and I, this whole weekend, and before, has been for
her
benefit. And how does she repay that? How does she say, ‘Thank you, Fey, thank you, Robin, for looking out for me!’ By setting us up in this fucking suicide trap!”

Shit
.

Fey never swears. Those words come up only when she’s really and truly angry.

“It’s clear how little
we
mean to her, Robin, if she would risk us like this!”

“Fey,” he starts, slightly hesitating, but still firm. “Calm down. We’re not in danger, or else do you think I would have let us come back? Maybe Lilly has a good reason for not telling us. We’ve committed this much to her. We can’t exactly back off now, without even giving her a chance to explain.”

Thank you, Robin
, I think to myself,
for at least having some trust in me.

“Oh, yes we can!” Fey exclaims. “We can and we will! You can’t just take things like that in stride, Robin! She lied to us. You’re lucky I’m so angry with her that I can’t be pissed at you. You
knew
about it since the morning, and you’re only now telling me? What happened to being partners for life, Robin? What happened to not holding secrets from one another, ever?”

“I didn’t hold it back from you,” he says softly. Under Fey’s barrage, he seems to wilt a bit. “I just…delayed that’s all. For Lilly’s sake.”

“You’re lucky I love you, babe,” Fey says, softening somewhat. “Because that explanation would not fly from anybody else.” She glares at me. “
Her
, for example. Do you think she was just delaying, as well? Or was she never planning to tell us?”

“Fey, I’m right here,” I exclaim, growing angry and surging to my feet. “You can speak to me directly!”

She lifts her chin. “I don’t speak to liars,” she announces.

“Fey,” Robin tugs her arm. “Sit down. Let’s hear Lilly out. What have we got to lose? Maybe she had a good reason for doing what she did.”

“Oh, I sincerely doubt that,” Fey scoffs. But she does sit down, there beside Robin. She crosses her arms and legs and angles her body away from mine.

Robin looks at me. “You can explain now, if you want.”

I start pacing the suite.

Explain? How do I explain?

The reason I brought them here is the same reason I can’t let them know: I do not want them involved in anything between me and Jeremy.

It’s more than that. I’ve dug myself into a perfect corner. I feel trapped by the stranglehold of lies piled atop more lies, piled atop deceit and conflicting desires and warring emotions.

“The truth will set you free,”
they say.

That’s how I feel now. If I could just lay everything on the line, tell Robin and Fey
everything
. It would be so much easier.

I cannot. I’m no moron. There’s not a single soul in the whole wide world whom I can trust with the truth. The only person who comes close to that is Jeremy. But that’s only because he’s experienced all those things with me.

And still, I hold secrets from him. Secrets about my ultimate purpose. Fledging plans for my future revenge.

No, I only have myself to rely on. That’s how it’s always been. That’s how it always
will
be. I can’t change that. And really, if I could, would I want to?

It’s all I’ve ever known.

So right now, we’re at the tipping point. I can feel it in the air. There are two ways this conversation can go. Either I admit to some of the things I’m guilty of, and try to salvage relations with Fey, and Robin. Or, I just add heat to the fire. Provoke Fey even more, and hope that this way, it’ll be enough to get her to leave… of her own accord.

The second option’s not ideal. Far, far from it. I would be doing nearly irreparable damage to my relationship with a friend.

But sometimes you have to just bite the bullet. The time for pleasantries is long over. Fey has made it clear she doesn’t trust me. She said so herself when we left for Boston: that my explanation sucked, and that she wouldn’t leave me alone until she was absolutely convinced that I was safe.

That is what I thought I had to do before granting her that ultimate conclusion. It is what I was aiming for when I agreed to have her and Robin meet Jeremy with me.

Obviously, that was the preference. Doing things that way—successfully—would have been much preferred. I would have kept her friendship, while at the same time remained firm in my knowledge that I do not have to worry about her interfering anymore.

But this way…fueling one of her blowups…might be an easier way for me to achieve the same goal. If she gets mad enough to storm off—to vow never to bother me again—maybe that’s what I should do.

Because I’m tired of keeping track of all the lies I’ve fed her and Robin. I’m tired of the mental effort that keeping them all in line requires. If I could just eliminate her—her and Robin, both—from the equation, things would be so much simpler.

So, for better or for worse, that is what I decide to do.

“I know Jeremy owns this building,” I admit.

“See!” Fey exclaims. “There she goes, admitting it again.”

“I never denied it,” I counter.

“So why’d you do it, Lilly?” Robin asks. “Why’d you want us to stay in his building so bad?”

“Because it
is
his,” I say. “Because I
trust
Jeremy. Because I wanted to see him, without either of you knowing, before our meeting together.”

Fey gasps.

“Oh, come on,” I snarl. “Is that really such a surprise? You two, interfering with everything I did, meddling where you’re not wanted. Is it really so shocking that I wanted the freedom to speak with Jeremy without you hanging on every word? That I wanted some
privacy
?”

“So…did you?” Robin asks softly.

“As a matter of fact, I did,” I tell them. I’m fully committed now. There is no backing out. “He came to visit me last night. We…talked.” I stumble over the words. “And more.” My cheeks flush red.

“And more,” Fey mimics, still not looking at me. “That’s what it all comes down to for her, Robin! See? She’s addicted to the things
Jeremy
,” she emphasizes his name, “makes her feel. And she’s made it clear to us, time and time again, just how little we’re wanted.”

She turns to me. Her face is a horrible mask of fury and anger. “Fine, Lilly,” she spits, addressing me for the first time since all of this began. “Fine! You say you want to be left alone? You’ve got it. You can have your wish. Robin and I are leaving. I thought maybe we could drill some sense into you. But you’ve made it clear—with your actions, more than your words—how little we’re really needed.”

She yanks Robin up. “You won’t be hearing from us, or seeing us, ever again. Don’t bother calling. I won’t answer. Not when I know that you’re still with…with…with
him
!”

She drags Robin out of my room after her. “Oh, and Lilly?” she adds, turning around just before slamming the door between our rooms. “Don’t bother coming to the wedding. Your invitation is officially rescinded.”

In the silence that follows, I fall on the bed.

Mission accomplished
, I think, wearily.

Chapter Six

For the next hour or so, I’m bombarded by raised voices from the adjoining room.

Fey and Robin are arguing. They still haven’t left. The uncertainty of whether they will or not has me on edge.

I can’t make out the things they are saying. Even if I could, I still wouldn’t listen.

I am not the bitch I have made myself out to be. But there was no other way. I couldn’t persuade Fey with words alone. Certainly not while still keeping things civil.

Eventually their voices stop. I hear the front door of their room open and close. I let out a breath that I feel like I’ve been holding for years.

And with that, it’s done.

I’ve successfully isolated myself from the outside world. Everything I know, everything I do, will now revolve around Jeremy—which is how it always should have been.

Trying to maintain cordial relations with Fey, given what she knows, given her behavior, was a pipe dream. I should have understood that before making the trip out to Boston. Jeremy alone gives me enough to handle. I cannot juggle my relationship with him while simultaneously trying to balance mine with Fey.

Perhaps the wish for that was a remnant of the naivety I once had. My naivety and
optimism
.

Because when I was still in college, surrounded by so much potential—no matter how hard I was working, or how busy my life may have been—I still had that magical sense of opportunity. It’s cliché, I know. But I feel—just a little bit—like the world was my oyster.

Of course, it helped that all the advisors and concentration advisors
were paid to make us believe that.

Still, that’s a large part of what made Yale—despite all the work—such a pleasant environment. We were all undergrads, constantly stressed. We were all, in our own way, dealing with mountains of assignments and tests and extra curriculars and deadlines. I was not the only one who worked hard. Far from it.

They were selling us the American Dream: Work hard. Keep your head down, and you’ll succeed. Oh yeah, and you’re in an institution that the rest of the world recognizes as the best, so you’d better not let us down.

Thousands of kids applied to Yale and got rejected. I just had a bit better grades in high school. That’s all.

So I have to stop thinking of myself as being capable of more. I
can’t
focus on two things at a time. Not while trying to achieve what I really want to.

And so, Jeremy has to be the sole focus in my life. I can’t be sad about losing Fey.

Self-pity is the most dangerous emotion.

I exhale and get up. Now I just wait for Jeremy to return, and take things from there.

Just like I wanted.

I’m surprised, however, when I find a small slip of paper under my door. I pick it up. It reads:

Fey is still mad, and I am, too. But unlike her, I think I understand. If you every truly need any help, you can come to me.I won’t shut you out.

Robin

My heart melts, just a little bit, when I read that note.

But then my natural instincts kick in. He says he “understands.” Understands what? How much does he know? How much has his research revealed? Damn, I wish I’d had the foresight to talk to him about it all
before
engineering the blowup with Fey. But that happened as a spur-of-the-moment decision. I anticipated making time, this evening, to wring all I could out of Robin. Before we all met Jeremy.

At least this way, the meaning is no longer a concern. Yet I still wish I had more information. I wish I knew exactly what Robin had uncovered. Malpractice at Stonehart Industries? I don’t doubt that. Jeremy Stonehart is a ruthless man. If his treatment of me—before the pronouncement of his feelings—was any indication of the things he’s capable of commissioning in the business world, then I can’t even fathom how rotten Stonehart Industries could be at its very core.