Uncovering You 8: Redemption (11 page)

He is becoming, in short, the public image of the man who leads Stonehart Industries.

“You think I spat in your face?”

“And what would you call it?” I counter. “Look around you, Jeremy. Look where we are. You’ve locked me away in some god-forsaken castle, like Sleeping Beauty. This is something that would happen in Medieval times! There’s no one around that I know of, just me and you, and we’re God knows how far away from society. This is almost as bad as being left in the dark, Jeremy, when I had no one to rely on but you!

“And now, when I tell you what you’ve been so eager to hear, when I tell you what you
claimed
you would fight tooth and nail for, what do I get in return? Not softness. Not compassion. Not even appreciation! I get the most dismissive, arrogant smirk imaginable. If that’s how you treat me,” I say, turning away from him and starting up the stairs, “then I take it all back.”

His voice follows me, smooth yet cutting like the sharpest blade. “You can’t take it back, Lilly. Especially since I know that’s how you really feel.”

I stop midstride, one hand on the railing. I shoot him a hateful glare. “You never learn, do you? You can’t treat me like that and expect understanding in return.”

He shakes his head. “Understanding is not what I want, Lilly. I want truth. Truth and honesty. When you tell me that you feel the way I know you do, that’s a step forward.

“For me,” he turns on his heel to face me fully, “it is mere affirmation of what I already believe. So forgive me for seeming ‘presumptuous’.” A cruel sneer mars his handsome face. “But it is who I am.”

“And who you are is despicable.” I spit, turning away and marching all the way up the stairs.

I’m angry. At myself, even more than at him. I laid it all on the line for Jeremy and he didn’t show the least bit of sympathy. Not even warmth! He became, in that instant, a mixture of Jeremy and Stonehart. Cold, and in control. Calculating. Yet not physically or verbally abusive.

At least… not yet
.

I feel naked and exposed. I’ve given up my greatest bargaining chip on a stupid, emotional whim. I didn’t make him work for it. Not nearly enough. It’s been only a few weeks since he first said the words. I should have made him sweat. I should have made him wait for months. I should have…

Dammit!

I should have been more patient. I could have had Jeremy wrapped around my finger, waiting with bated breath to hear me admit my feelings instead of giving it away so soon, so…meaninglessly.

Because that’s what he made it appear.
That
is the crux of all my frustration, anger, and resentment. When he said, “I know!”…he made my words seem meaningless.

And that’s what hurts the most. It wounds me deeply. I hate to admit it. That is why I’m covering it up with anger.

My whole life I’ve prided myself on being independent. I never relied on anybody or anyone but myself. I was able to control my emotional state based on how I feel, not on the actions of other people. I existed, for better or for worse, on an island where—no matter what anybody did—they would not be able to influence my mental state.

Now, that type of buffer is completely gone. It’s been annihilated. I am reliant on Jeremy for more than physical things. More than clothes, money, shelter and warmth. More than the bare minimum creature comforts.

I am reliant on him for something that is much more precious to me. I am reliant on him for the fulfillment of my mind.

Holy shit.

I stop short. My heart is racing. My thoughts are in overdrive.

That is exactly what Jeremy wants, isn’t it? That is exactly what he had always wanted.

When he told me, the first time we met, in the elevator, the he was after my
mind
… I had no idea what the implications of that would be.

He doesn’t want me to love him. He never did. Sure, it might be a nice thing for him to have. But that was never his ultimate goal.

His initial goal, before the shift—before he became Jeremy—was to be in full and utter control of my mind.

My stomach drops. With my most recent declaration, I’ve served it up to him on a silver platter.

Shit! Shit! Shit
!

There is no deception anymore. I cannot claim to be hiding things—anything!—from him. Not when he knows the way I feel. Not when he got the precise thing that he was after when he was still Stonehart.

Jeremy…Jeremy Stonehart…does not make empty promises—least of all to himself. He set his sights on me, and got me.

But that was just the physical. The only way I survived his abuse in the dark was by disassociating myself mentally. I told myself that—no matter what he did—he could never have my mind.

Now, I’ve given it up.

Utter terror. That is what I feel. I turn around slowly, angling my body toward his.

Jeremy has not moved from his spot. He simply stands there, watching me. With the cold, calculating eyes of a vulture.

“Are you Jeremy?” I find myself asking. I can hardly believe the words coming from my mouth. “Or are you…Stonehart?”

He smiles, coyly. It’s a smile full of understanding. “I was not aware there was a difference,” he tells me.

I know he’s mocking me, now.

It takes every bit of strength I have to make myself start down the stairs. Not to turn away and run and hide, but to face the monster head on.

“Maybe there’s not,” I say. My composure has returned—outwardly, at least. I’m ready to tackle whatever comes next. “But that would be a great loss for you.”

“Would it?” he muses.

“Oh yes,” I say. I walk purposely toward him. I start to circle him, as if I’m the hunter, and he’s the prey.

“When you’re Stonehart, I hate you. I despise you. You could say…” I smile at him. “…that I want you dead.”

He does not blink.

“But,” I continue, “when you’re Jeremy…” I trail a finger up the back of his arm, to his shoulder, and across his neck, “…sometimes, when you’re Jeremy…I think I love you. No,” I stop my finger and go up on both toes to whisper in his ear, “I do love you, Jeremy. But as the man you are in those moments. Not as the man you are always.”

I laugh and turn away. “It’s quite fucked up. Isn’t it? This thing we have between us? But that is what makes it so special. That is what makes it so…” I face him and fix him with a sultry glare, “…erotic.”

“Lilly,” he growls. I’ve had my effect on him. He already sounds lustful and aroused.

“Nuh uh,” I waggle my finger. “I know how much you want me, Jeremy. I can see it in your eyes. But unlike before, I’m not going to just let you reach out and have me. You’re going to have to work for it. You’re going to have to prove your worth.”

Next comes my biggest gamble.

“Of course,” I continue, “you could just force yourself on me. You could take me against my will. Everybody around the world knows how big and powerful you are. How easy it would be for you to overpower someone like me. Small. Fragile. And, in your own words…
precious
.”

“Lilly,” he says. “You don’t know what you’re doing. I’m warning you right now to stop. Or so help me, I won’t be able to restrain myself.”

“Won’t you?” I wonder. “What happened to that spectacular self-control? Hmm? Surely you don’t want to become the monster you lamented being before, to the woman you claim has stolen your heart. Do you?”

“It’s not a claim,” he growls, tendrils of anger thrumming through in his voice. “It is the undeniable truth.”

“Is that ‘truth’ with a capital ‘T,’ Jeremy?” I ask. “Or is it out of your made up self-delusions?”

“I never…” He steps toward me. “…delude myself.”

Caught
! I think.

I let him walk himself right to his own noose.

“In that case,” I tell him, standing tall even as he approaches, even as he looks me over and grabs both my arms. “If you force yourself on me without my permission again, you will be doing irreparable damage to everything we’ve accomplished between us. You will be annihilating your one chance of redemption. You will be destroying your one chance at…” I look him right in his storming eyes. “…love.”

“God dammit, Lilly!” he hisses. “I hate it when you talk sense.”

With that, his mouth crashes into mine.

Given all that I’ve said, you’d think the impulse would be to fight. It is not. I’ve riled myself up talking to Jeremy. All that fire needs an outlet.

It is this.

I kiss him back with unabashed passion. Jeremy might think he is taking control—he is not. I am the one in the lead.

I devour his mouth and claw my hands over his back, through his hair. I pull him toward me, needing to feel his every breath, his every heartbeat. Passion such as this lets me know I’m still alive. It reassures me that I still exert the ultimate control over Jeremy’s body.

It is I who has the ultimate effect on him. I who evokes such animal ferocity.

And I who chooses to give it back.

His hands run down my body. He grabs my ass. He tugs me toward him, keeping me plastered there tight and hard. His erection against my stomach fills me with the most ravenous sort of need. I haven’t had him inside me for so long. My body is starved for the feeling his cock brings me.

I jump up and wrap both my legs around him. He staggers back a step, then surges forward and crashes me into a wall.

And still we’re kissing, devouring, clashing.

He thrusts his hips into me. I give a small, shocked gasp. With me plastered against the wall like that, all I can think of is how good it is to have my body taken like this. How good it is when it is exactly what I want.

How good it is when it is precisely what I need.

“Lilly,” he grunts. “I can’t help it. I’m not going to stop.”

“I’m not going to ask you to,” I say, and pull his head back to mine.

Our lips meet again. Only this time, the kiss is interrupted by his tearing my clothes off.…and my doing the same to his.

In short order, all that remains of our garments is a pile of discarded rags. I gasp again, and then moan in satiated pleasure as Jeremy pushes into me. The cold stone wall behind me steals my warmth. But the heat of Jeremy’s naked body against mine is like being pressed into an inferno. He consumes me. He makes me feel alive.

He thrusts into me, again and again and again. I arch into him, my head falling back as far as it will go. He feasts on my neck, my breasts.

And then he lets me slide down, and stares straight into my eyes. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. All that we have between us is communicated in that omniscient stare. Words are meaningless. The connection I feel, looking into his eyes, having his cock fill my body, sparring the heat and intensity that radiates off him in soul-consuming waves…none of that needs to be communicated verbally. We’ve transcended that. We’ve reached some higher level of harmony.

“Come for me, Lilly Flower,” he whispers.

At his words, the floodgates open. My body is rocked by the most glorious orgasm. It comes both from him and from somewhere deep inside, from a place previously inaccessible to me simply because I did not know that it existed.

Jeremy has shown me it does. And so much more. He’s opened my eyes to a vast sea of pleasure that is so good it hurts.

I gasp and lose myself in its midst. It rolls through me for an inordinate amount of time: ceaseless, steady, never-ending. When it’s done—when I’m left barely conscious, clinging onto Jeremy’s hard shoulders like he’s my only anchor to the world—he kisses me softly and says,” I love you, too.”

Chapter Ten

Waking up the next morning is as disorienting as waking up in the middle of last night.

After we fucked—after I got so riled up and angry, and then used Jeremy as an outlet for my emotions—all the energy drained out of me. I became suddenly so exhausted that my mind was barely functional. I vaguely remember Jeremy carrying me up the stairs, through the hall, and back into this room. I remember my head hitting the pillow. After that, nothing.

I look around, and see a slumbering male body next to me. I smile. That’s something that hasn’t happened for a long, long time.

I touch Jeremy’s shoulder. He opens his eyes and peers lovingly at me.

My heart absolutely melts in that moment.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he murmurs, still half asleep.

“Morning,” I say. I look around. “Where are we?”

Jeremy half groans, half yawns as he pushes himself up. “Colorado,” he says.

My eyebrows shoot up. “How did we get here?”

He smiles smugly. “A plane.” He stretches his arms high over his head. “And then a chopper.”

“Smart ass,” I quip. I hit his arm. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I can’t read your mind, Lilly.” The words carry no malice.

“You sure like to pretend you can.”

He chuckles. “True enough.” He swings his legs off the bed and walks over to the armchair, picking up the robe draped over the back. My eyes devour the delicious contours of his body. I’m disappointed when he covers it up.

“Do you want breakfast?” He asks. “I can cook. It’s just the two of us here.”

“Jeremy Stonehart? Cooking breakfast? I never thought I’d see the day. I didn’t even know you were capable!”

“We all have our little secrets,” he says, winking.

Some worth more than others
, I think.

Instead, I say, “No, Jeremy, I don’t want breakfast. I want
answers
. What happened to me? How did we end up here?
Why
did we end up here? Don’t you and I have to get back to California, to Stonehart Industries? Don’t you have work to do before the IPO?”

He sighs. “Those are questions that shouldn’t concern you.”

“But they do, Jeremy,” I insist. “I’m not about to stick my head in the sand because it’s convenient for you to keep me in the dark.”

A feeling of nausea comes over me the second I say that. Bad choice of words. I shake my head and press on.

“What happened in Boston, Jeremy? How much time has passed since then? I remember waking up in a hospital. I remember a doctor—he was…” I narrow my eyes as a new understanding grips me. “He was you. But he wasn’t. He didn’t look at me the same. And then he drugged me. Why? And as I drifted away, I saw two of you. It was you…you and your twin!” I bolt upright, the memory now as clear as day. “Why didn’t you tell me you have a twin?”