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Authors: Camille Picott

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Undead Ultra (A Zombie Novel)

BOOK: Undead Ultra (A Zombie Novel)
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Undead Ultra

 

Other Works by Camille Picott

www.camillepicott.com

 

 

Sulan
, Episode 1: The League

 

Sulan
, Episode 2: Risk Alleviator

 

The Warrior & The Flower
, 3 Kingdoms, Book 1

 

Raggedy Chan
: A Chinese Heritage Tale, Book 1

 

Nine-Tail Fox
: A Chinese Heritage Tale, Book 2

 

Raggedy Chan
- An Illustrated Adventure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Undead Ultra

 

By Camille Picott

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pixiu Press
*
Healdsburg, CA

 

 

Copyright 2016 Camille Picott

All rights reserved.

 

www.camillepicott.com

[email protected]

 

ISBN 10:
1530675081

ISBN 13:
978-1530675081

 

 

 

 

Copyedit by Chrissy Wolfe, EFC Services, LLC

efcservicesllc.com

 

 

 

With deepest gratitude to my Zombie Recon Team, who helped me explore the trails and rails traversed by the characters in this book.

 

Lura Albee

Lori Barekman

Jordan Costello

Chris & Kylah Picott

Chris Urasaki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contents

 

Chapter 1: Dropping a Deuce

Chapter 2: Dead Drunk

Chapter 3: Red Hats

Chapter 4: Disconnected

Chapter 5: Car Trouble

Chapter 6: Broken Skull

Chapter 7: Prep

Chapter 8: Don’t Be an Idiot

Chapter 9: Boy Scouts

Chapter 10: The Tracks

Chapter 11: One Tough Man

Chapter 12: Spikes

Chapter 13: Ultra Dog

Chapter 14: Hopland

Chapter 15: Ace Hardware

Chapter 16: Storewide Clearance

Chapter 17: Fuel

Chapter 18: When the Wheels Fall Off

Chapter 19: Bonk

Chapter 20: If I Get Eaten

Chapter 21: Breaking and Entering

Chapter 22: Portland Malady

Chapter 23: Visitors

Chapter 24: Bonging in the Brambles

Chapter 25: Pigs

Chapter 26: Regrets

Chapter 27: Zombie Rollers

Chapter 28: Purple Passion

Chapter 29: Tunnel

Chapter 30: Granola Bitch

Chapter 31: Fun Run

Chapter 32: Jingle Bells

Chapter 33: Dead End

Chapter 34: The Next Right Thing

Chapter 35: River Crossing

Chapter 36: Happy Campers

Chapter 37: Silver Buckle

Chapter 38: Attack and Stack

Chapter 39: Paperclip

Chapter 40: Strong Enough

Chapter 41: Nausea

Chapter 42: Nothing But the Dead

Chapter 43: Aleisha

Chapter 44: Separate Ways

Chapter 45: Out of Gas

Chapter 46: Suffer Better

Chapter 47: Tourist Trap

Chapter 48: Run, Jackalope

Chapter 49: BFF

Chapter 50: Fatigue Factor

Chapter 51: Batshit Crazy

Chapter 52: Death Run

Chapter 53: Avenue of the Giants

Chapter 54: Arcata

Chapter 55: Finisher

About the Author

Acknowledgements

 

 

Chapter 1

Dropping a Deuce

 

 

There’s something liberating about a long run. I love everything about it: the salty dribble of sweat in my eyes; the smell of wet dirt on the trail in the morning; the burning in my calves as I plow uphill; the exhilaration of a stunning view after that uphill climb; the thrashing of my quads on the inevitable downhill; and the screaming ache in my biceps from pumping up and down for hours on end.

My soul finds peace in the mindless labor of the run and the untamed nature of the trail. Some call it the runner’s high, some call it trail surfing. I call it joy. Bliss. Oblivion.

Unfortunately, all these fancy adjectives evade me this morning. I’m stalled only three miles into today’s run. Standing on the single-track trail that circumnavigates Lake Sonoma in Northern California, I wait for my running buddy to drop a deuce in the woods.

“Hey, Kate.” Frederico pokes his head out from behind a tree. His shoulder-length, curly gray hair is pulled back in its customary ponytail. In his early sixties, he’s been running and racing for over thirty years. “Can I borrow your socks?”

I make a face at him. “What’s wrong with
your
socks?”

“I used them.”


Both
of them?”

He wrinkles his nose. “I ate chili last night.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Mrs. Crowell’s habanero chili?”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed for holding out on me. The little old lady who lives next door to Frederico is legendary for her chili.

Grumbling, I plop onto the ground and unlace my shoes. I hate running without socks. Knowing one won’t be enough to mop up Mrs. Crowell’s chili, I pull off both of them.

“You’re washing these,” I say, tossing them in Frederico’s direction.

He gives me a wicked smile as he catches the socks. “Did I mention my washing machine is broken?”

“Fuck you.” I half scowl, half grin at him. “Those are brand-new socks. The least you could have done was get some chili for me.”

“I knew there wouldn’t be enough socks for both of us, so I ate it all myself.”

I chuck a rock at his head. He ducks back behind the tree. The rock bounces harmlessly into the brush.

I’d like to say this is the first time something like this has happened. I’d like to say I’ve never asked to borrow
his
socks. When you run for hours and hours out in the middle of nowhere, shit happens. Literally. And if you’re lucky, you’ll have a friend to help you out.

“All done.” Frederico jogs back out to the trail. The front pouches on his hydration pack bulge with the soiled socks.

“Yick.” I plug my nose. “You smell like shit.”

He arches an eyebrow at me. “I’ll have you know, little jackalope, that my shit doesn’t stink. It smells like roses.”

Jackalope
is Frederico’s nickname for me. It’s a jackrabbit with antlers, an urban myth in North America.

“You wish,” I reply with a roll of my eyes. “I’m running in front so I don’t have to be downwind of you.”

I break into an easy lope, skimming up the narrow, uneven trail. The thick tread of my trail shoes grip the damp earth and provide sure footing.

The morning is glorious, crisp with the smell of last night’s heavy spring rain. Bars of sunlight break through the trees, ephemeral strands that dance with life. To my right, I glimpse the serene blue of Lake Sonoma. A hawk glides on invisible currents of air.

Frederico and I have twenty miles planned for today. I feel myself slipping into the joy of the run. My brain moves into a state of pleasant numbness, a special place where the ache in my heart subsides. Out here, running through the woods, I can almost pretend Kyle is home, waiting for me.

“Kate, I gotta go again.”

Frederico’s voice draws me up short, reality snapping back in around me. I turn around in time to see him dash behind another tree.

“All my other socks are in the car,” I call, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. We haven’t even done four miles yet. “I saw some poison oak a little ways back. Want me to get you some?”

“Fuck you, Jackalope,” he calls back cheerfully.

I sigh, scuffing the tread of my running shoe irritably in the dirt. Through the dappled morning light, something red flashes in the corner of my eye.

I turn, peering through the trees. After a moment, I realize what it is I’m seeing: a dead pig.

Wild pigs are pretty common at Lake Sonoma. They wreak havoc in the parks with their rooting. What’s not common is to find a dead one with its blood and entrails pooling on the forest floor.

“There’s a dead pig over here,” I call to Frederico. “It’s stomach has been ripped out.” Flies and maggots have already congregated on the animal’s body. Poor thing.

“It’s hunting season,” Frederico calls back.

That’s true. We’ve run into hunters out here on our runs, some with guns and some with bows. It can be creepy to come across armed men in camouflage in the middle of the woods, but so far all our encounters have been friendly.

“Poor bastard probably got shot but managed to get away,” I agree.

“Mountain lion or coyote could have taken it down once it was wounded.” Frederico trots out of the trees and takes a look at the dead pig. “Yeah, I’d say something with claws and teeth definitely got into that guy.”

“God.” I take a step back from him and plug my nose. “You’re starting to smell like porta potty.”

He makes an apologetic face. “Oak leaves make shitty ass wipes.” His expression morphs into one of earnest wheedling. “Can we go back to the car?”

I scowl in response.

“Pretty please?” he says.

“I really needed this run today,” I mutter. When I run, I don’t have to think about anything other than my next step, my next breath. Everything is better when I run and shut off my brain.

“Remember when I ran thirty-eight miles smelling my own shit at Western States?” Frederico asks.

I snort. Western States is a 100-mile footrace from Squaw Valley to Auburn. Kyle and I crewed for Frederico at that race, meeting him at the various aid stations with food and other running supplies. Some bad fish had given Frederico a serious case of runs. We ran out of extra shorts and socks by mile sixty-two. He was too tired by that point to care much about wiping. After that experience, he vowed never to run with a smelly ass again.

“I’ll buy you breakfast,” Frederico says, eyes plaintive. “Bread Box?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “I want breakfast at Bread Box, plus coffee and an apple fritter. And I want you to wash my socks.”

BOOK: Undead Ultra (A Zombie Novel)
9.45Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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