Undeath and Taxes (7 page)

5.

“Son of a
bitch
. I do
not
want to do the paperwork on this,” June said, staring at the empty spots with a furrowed brow and slight sneer.

“You seem to be taking the theft of such important items surprisingly well,” I noted.

“That’s because they can’t be stolen. I mean, yeah, people can take them away from us, but those things have destiny wound around them. Wherever they end up, that’s where they’re meant to be. It’s why we take them out every now and then: keeps them in circulation so there isn’t a need for a jailbreak.”

“So Krystal told me. Does that mean we don’t need to retrieve them?”

“Are you brain-dead on top of being normal-dead? Of course we have to retrieve them. Until they’re officially claimed, those things are Agency property. If I admit to losing three of them to some sticky-fingered jerk, then I’m going to get a massive earful. And so will Krys, for that matter.”

On cue, Krystal came treading back over, Bubba in tow. “I had to crack one of those dipshits in the back of the head, but I got the spell stopped before it did too much damage. Maintenance says they can have the lights fixed in about an hour, so overall, not my worst headache at one of these things.” She stopped talking and noted both of our somber expressions. “Why do you two look like someone pissed in your cereal?”

“There may have been a very slight misplacement of three of our specialty items during the blackout,” June admitted.

Krystal’s eyes wandered over to the display, where she found the same triple gap we’d previously observed. “Really? Fucking really? We were gone for five minutes, tops, and someone got away with three of those damned things?” She looked over at the two of us, and we both shrank back under her fierce gaze. “Do we at least have any leads? Sight, smell, something?”

“Too many parahumans moving around with unique scents,” Bubba said. “Even if you had something to smell that you were sure was the thief’s, you’d need a master tracker to find them in here.”

“I caught sight of someone scampering away in the dark,” I said, keeping my voice respectfully low. “There’s no way to be certain it was the thief, but they were moving through the darkness like they’d expected it.”

“Not a bad plan, actually,” Bubba said. “Rile up some mages, get them to create a distraction, and then sneak by and grab stuff from right under an agent’s nose.”

June bristled visibly at his observation, but she had no real comeback for it. The items were gone, and she’d been the one on guard. Like or lump it: Bubba was right.

“Right, first things first. We have to put the rest of these things away now,” Krystal said. “Having our weapons stolen is bad enough, but if people figure it out, we’re in for way more shit from the home office.”

“Why does that matter more?” I asked.

“Image, reputation, call it what you want. Part of the Agency’s power comes from the fear we instill. We are the nightmare of parahumans, and it needs to stay that way. Agents need to be seen as flawless, unstoppable beings, because that sort of reputation allows us to end a lot of conflicts before they start. If we can find the items before word gets out that they were stolen, then we can keep things civil. However, if it becomes known that someone stole from the Agency, we’ll have no choice but to make an example of them. A very brutal one, at that,” June said.

“I really just meant that I didn’t want to get bitched out, but June isn’t totally off base,” Krystal admitted. “For the thief’s sake as much as ours, we need to get those weapons back.” She paused to look at the display once more. “By my count, we’re missing The Axe of Withering Trees, The Sword of the Furious Sun, and The Blade of the Unlikely Champion. None of those will be easy to conceal, so our thief’s best option to stash them. That leaves us a two-pronged approach: one team hunts the thief, while the other searches for the weapons.”

“Let me track our culprit,” June volunteered immediately. “This fool slighted my honor as an agent; I wish for the chance to redeem myself. Besides, I’m more gifted in terms of hunting prey.”

“Can’t argue with you there; you’re the right fit for thief duty.” Krystal looked at Bubba and me, a slightly worried expression drawing across her face. “Freddy, you’re the only one who has actually caught a glimpse of this person. That means you should probably be on the hunting team too.”

The way she structured her statement, she was clearly giving me the chance to object or raise some reason why I would be a bad fit. Krystal realized that pairing me with June made the most sense; however, she respected my feelings enough to give me an out. I greatly appreciated the gesture, but I couldn’t very well take an easier path just because June made me uncomfortable. It wouldn’t be right, and after seeing June move, I felt confident she could handle any threat we might encounter.

“I agree, June and I will try and find the thief.”

“Good call. Bubba and I will pack up the rest of the weapons and get them somewhere safe, then start scouring the hall for any signs of the hidden merchandise.” Krystal reached behind the counter of the booth and produced a small sign that read “Back in 5 minutes.” She plunked it onto the center of the table. “The convention opens officially at ten, which is when we need to be on duty. That gives us a little under two hours to hunt this douchewad down before our manpower gets halved. At that point, we’ll also have to report the theft to the home office.”

“So soon?” June said, her eyes widening considerably. “We could at least wait until the end of the day.”

“No, that axe is way too powerful to lose. Even if we catch hell for it, we’ll need to call in a full team to sweep the place. It will probably ruin the con for everyone, but there’s no other choice. So, let’s make these next two hours count.” Krystal grabbed a handful of the remaining weapons and began piling them into their former duffel bag, which she’d yanked out from under the display.

June grabbed my shoulder and jerked me forward. “You heard her, we’re on a clock. Which way did you see our thief going?”

“Toward the north entrance.” I pointed in the direction I’d last seen the strangely waddling figure dart off. It was thick with bodies already, making even seeing to the end of the aisle a difficult task.

“Figures they’d go toward the most crowded part,” June snapped. “All right, Fred, stay close and don’t fall behind. When I start hunting something, I lose track of everything else. Lose me, and there’s no way of knowing when I’ll realize you’re gone.”

With that, June hurtled forward, darting gracefully down the aisle, nimbly weaving between the various parahumans like a ballet dancer gliding between raindrops.

I might have been more inclined to appreciate the aesthetic appeal, if I hadn’t been tasked with following such a display. Instead, I awkwardly bustled my way through the crowd with hurried apologies.

6.

It took less than five minutes for us to scout the general area our thief had headed into and confirm they were no longer around. Despite the various parahumans meandering about, June was surprisingly methodical in keeping them mentally organized as she dragged me to each section and asked if anyone matched what I saw. Truthfully, I shouldn’t have been surprised by her skill, but I was accustomed to Krystal’s style of problem management, which was . . . less organized, to put it nicely.

“If the thief came this way and isn’t here anymore, that leaves us with limited options,” June declared, once the final area was pronounced to be thief-free. “They could have doubled back and gone to another part of the floor, but Krystal was right about those weapons being bulky as all hell, not to mention noticeable. There probably wasn’t time to stash them before the lights came back on, so if I were in their shoes, I’d have left the convention floor and found a place to squirrel the goods away before coming back.”

“It makes sense, but it’s equally possible they ran this way momentarily and then shifted course, or found cover in one of the booths.”

June nodded her head toward a white-painted door that nearly blended in perfectly with the ivory-colored walls. “There are only two exits out of this whole area besides the main doors, and our thief happened to run right at one of them. True, it isn’t concrete, but sometimes this job is about playing the odds. Besides, I have a feeling in my gut that says the weapons went this way.”

“Forgive me for asking this, but I’m relatively unfamiliar with the capabilities of fey. At least, beyond the old stories and literature. Is this gut feeling an actual magic, or are we merely talking about intuition?”

“Fred, when you’ve been doing this job as long as some of us have, there is nothing ‘mere’ about intuition,” June said. “I actually can sense magic within a certain range, but no, this isn’t that. It’s just decades of experience telling me to follow this route.”

“A well-made point,” I conceded. Though I had peeked behind the curtain a bit in terms of seeing agents without the bluster, that didn’t change the fact that they were highly capable at their jobs. If June said the thief went out the door, then it behooved me to trust her judgment. Besides, it wasn’t like I had any better idea to put forth.

We exited the main floor and came into a stone hallway, clearly meant only for emergencies and staff, since it lacked the more upscale décor of the rest of the convention center. Before us were a set of rising concrete steps and a short hallway that led to a door with a bright red “Exit” sign hanging above it. Even just seeing it left me a touch uneasy, as I knew beyond that door was bright, beautiful, deadly sunshine. If June wanted to follow the trail that way, she would have to do it without me.

“We go up,” June said. That command made me feel both worried and at ease, since, as much as I’d dreaded the idea of telling June I had to quit, the chance to exit the hunt had been extremely appealing.

“What do you think is up there?” I asked. “The hotel is attached, but it’s a separate building, so it can’t lead to the rooms.”

“Smart money says this is how they access those catwalks near the ceiling. With the main lights down from the spell, it’s pitch black up there, and no one is looking up at them anyway. Perfect place to hide stolen magical weapons.”

“If you’re right, our thief seems to have done an awful lot of planning for a spur of the moment pilfering. Being at the booth just as the lights went out, having this place already in mind, it all screams to significantly more pre-meditation than I’d suspected.”

June gave me a long, cool stare, then artfully raised one of her eyebrows by the barest of inches.

“I, um . . . I watch a lot of mystery movies and shows,” I admitted, caving under her authoritative gaze.

“Then you realize our only advantage over this jerk is that, while the thief you described is short and hobbly, we are both capable of incredible speed. So we should quit yapping and start climbing.”

“Of course.” I barely had time to get the words out before June was off, barreling up the stairs with the same grace she’d demonstrated in maneuvering through the convention hall.

Now, as a vampire, I’m pretty spry myself, and since having a drop of Gideon’s blood, I’d been even more so, yet I still had to push myself to keep up with her as we climbed flight after flight. Had it been a straightforward race on flat ground, I likely could have overtaken her, but when adding the nimbleness needed to corner and climb, she easily became the faster of us. If she was only half fey, I shuddered to think what a full-blooded one could do. Suffice it to say that the fey had joined the ever-growing list in my head of parahumans to avoid slighting or angering. Thus far, it included every type of parahuman I’d met, as well as a few I’d only heard about.

Even with our exceptional speed, it took us nearly a full minute to ascend the high reaches of the industrial stairs. At last we came to a small platform with a door marked “Employees Only.”

“That just seems cruel,” I said, pointing at the sign. June shot me a curious glance, so I continued. “It makes more sense to have the sign at the bottom. Imagine if someone was all the way down there, curious about what was at the top, and they climbed that whole set of stairs just to be disappointed. Sure, it’s not a big deal for us; however, that might have been truly taxing for a human.”

“Fred, stop talking.”

“My apologies. I was just struck by how it—”

“No, Fred, stop talking because I need to concentrate,” June said, her voice surprisingly patient. “I can feel a slight trace of magic up here.”

“Ah. Right. Shutting up now.”

June closed her eyes and inched carefully toward the door. She pressed her slender fingers against its cold metal surface, face so close that if the door were flung open it would easily break her nose, or it would if that exceptional speed of hers didn’t extend to her reflexes as well as it did to her legs. It was hard to say how long she stood like that; time spent trying to be quiet and still tends to stretch out in odd directions. Thankfully, June finally broke the silence, and with good news at that.

“They’re here,” she said softly. “I can’t be sure where, or if the thief is still around them, but I can tell they’re nearby.” She reached around to the small of her back and removed her gun from its holster. It was smaller than Krystal’s sidearm—my girlfriend preferred the sort of weapon that could cleave limbs off bodies with a single shot. June’s was smaller and built for precision. It matched her personality well.

“From here on, things get dangerous,” June warned. “Normally, I’d tell you to wait out here, but we’re going into a situation with an unknown parahuman whose capabilities are a mystery. The one thing we do know, however, is that they’re adept at staying hidden. Add in that it will be dark as hell up here, and that means I need as many eyes as I can get, especially vampire ones, just in case our villain tries to get the jump on me. All you need to do is play lookout, no trying to be a hero and getting involved. Just because our thief has been peaceful and working in the shadows doesn’t mean they have to. It’s entirely possible that this person has plenty of power to throw around and just prefers the convenience of staying hidden. That option won’t exist when they’re cornered, so you’d better brace for anything.”

I gave a small nod to signal my understanding. Much as I loathed getting tangled up in these situations, June was right about plunging into the unknown. It was always dangerous, and my extra vision might very well make the difference between a successful surprise attack and a thwarted failure. June clearly wasn’t my biggest fan, and she’d done little to ingratiate herself to me thus far, but it didn’t matter. She was important to Krystal, and that made her important to me. Such is the burden of love and friendship.

“I’m going to pull open the door in a minute. When I do, I’ll jump forward, in case anything is nearby, and as soon as that happens, I want you to do a quick scan for our thief. If they try to bolt, give me directions. If they rush us, give me a warning. Under no circumstances,
none
, are you to pursue or engage. Clear?”

“Understood,” I said.

June gave a half-hearted roll of her eyes, then grabbed the door handle firmly in her clutches.

“One, two, three, go!”