Underbelly (11 page)

“
The difference is that you care about your parents a lot more than I care about mine.”

“
I don’t want you to not see your parents. They won’t be around forever. I should have stayed downstairs to talk all this through instead of running to our room and crying like a child,” she said, chiding herself.

“
You’ve done nothing wrong. He said nasty things about you and I stand by leaving, but the decision’s yours.”

She rubbed her face, getting rid of the last of the tears and said, “I like Keokuk and I want to see more of it. I want to stay and I want you to forget what’s just been said. Family are allowed to say nasty things to each other.”

“
I think he’s had three strikes already, but you’re the boss.”

“
I don’t think so,” she coughed, smiling at him as she cleared her throat, ready to face them again. “Give him a fresh…innings, is that right?”

Grey nodded approvingly. “You’ve clearly heard me talk about baseball too often.”

“
Maybe I’ll talk about it as much as you after you take me to my first game. I want to see a match here before we leave.”

“
No one seemed to know when the next match would be. We’ll see how it goes.” She was so desperate to help bring him closer to his parents that he forced himself to make an effort with his father, who said he was sorry for Germaine’s loss without apologising for his polemic attack on the French. Germaine was happy with his words of condolence and Grey bit his tongue, leaving it to Shirley to get things back on track by talking about her day. Abner knew he’d gone too far with Germaine and made more of an effort with her for the rest of the night, getting her to show him her home town on his 20 inch globe (which he took great pride in). After his parents had gone to bed Germaine asked Grey not to take offence as she pointed out a home truth – he was almost endlessly patient and tolerant of friends and strangers and saintly to the spirits yet was less forgiving with his parents. Grey contested this, feeling that he was being fair with them, and Germaine agreed that he wasn’t nasty to them but maintained that it seemed to her that he didn’t afford them the same privileges that others received. He believed that he was being consistent and pointed out that he would be equally angry with anyone who was nasty to her, but he promised to give her views some thought.

One problem that would rear its ugly head when he started performing was being the centre of attention. Grey’s uncle and aunt, Skip and Dolores Howard, organised a homecoming party for him though none of his friends were invited as it turned out to be a family meal at their sumptuous home, and Grey found being the focal point was no pleasure. His leaving do had been easier, as at least Uncle Frank and Fred had been there and they’d gone out to his favourite fish restaurant – bar his father there were no paternal relatives present, even though Grey was far closer to this side of the family. They had been invited though Grey had learnt from his father in a rare discreet chat that Frank had serious money problems and had to work around the clock to keep his head above water. Without Germaine to consider Grey would have gone to help him and volunteered to work for free, if Frank housed and fed him. He would go and visit him instead. The spotlight shone even brighter upon his return to church, though this time he was spared having to present himself down the front and was allowed to say his piece sitting at the pews. Grey agreed with the group consensus that his recovery was miraculous, though he decided that it was better not to share specifics. If they knew the exact nature of the miracle their attitudes might change...

Joseph Soames relationship with his parents was far more normal than the dysfunctional Greys. While it was strained at times (during his early teens he had sporadically been at loggerheads with his father) for the most part they were close. His father had passed away peacefully in the summer of ‘44 and Grey wondered how Joseph’s mother would handle the messages her son had for her. He went to her door, hesitated and then knocked quietly, half hoping that she wasn’t in. He couldn’t put it off; his fourth full day in town was late enough, and as he had 147 messages to impart (many near enough identical in tone and wording) he would have to get used to the practice. Germaine, as the first recipient of his messages, had been so supportive and promised him his favourite seafood dish would be waiting for him when he returned. Grey knew Mrs Soames (though only vaguely, having been friends with Joseph when they were infants before Joseph went to a different school) and he was unsure if that would make it harder or easier.

He saw a figure approaching through the opaque glass pane in the door and he cleared his throat and mentally prepared himself as Mrs Soames answered the door. She recognised him instantly and ushered him inside genially. She was alone and glad of the company and took him through to her small sitting room.

“
It’s good to see you, James. It must be nearly ten years since you were last here.”

“
I think it would be about 12 years, but I can remember your house well. I came to two of Joseph’s birthday parties here.”

“
That’s right,” she nodded. “What would you like to drink? I’ve been cooking some biscuits and they should be ready in about ten minutes.”

“
I’m fine, thanks.”

“
Are you sure? It’s no trouble.”

“
I’ve already been well fed this morning, thanks. I’ve only been back a few days so my mother’s been fussing over me and feeding me too much.” Was he playing this right, was he being too light-hearted?

“
They must be overjoyed to have you back,” Mrs Soames said kindly without even a hint of jealousy or self-pity.

“
I’m very pleased to be back. I know how lucky I am. I heard about Joseph and I wanted to offer my condolences,” he said earnestly.

She mouthed the words ‘thank you’, making no sound.

“
I don’t want to upset you, but may I talk of Joseph with you?” he asked sensitively.

“
Of course,” she said, smiling widely. “My neighbour, two doors down,” she said, pointing to her left, “She lost her son and she won’t talk about him and I think that’s such a shame. At first it was hard but to not talk about Joseph ever would be like pretending he never existed, and I’m very glad I knew him for a little while.”

Grey admired her positive attitude – Mrs Soames seemed to have little to be positive about yet she still seemed upbeat, her grief dignified and not consuming her. “Was he her only child?”

“
No, she’s got two lovely girls and a boy who’s much younger, he’s only seven, I think. It affects us all differently, I suppose.”

“
Indeed. I joined the army before Joseph did because my birthday was before his, and I saw him just before I left. I’d been drinking and I was a bit morose thinking about what might happen and how I’d be remembered and we got talking about our parents. He was as sober as a judge, it was only me who was drinking.” Grey viewed the chain of white lies he was telling as acceptable – it was better she got the message in a way that would cause her the least pain.

“
Are you sure it was Joseph?” she joked, finding the thought of her son being abstemious in the company of drinkers unlikely.

“
Yes, I wasn’t that far gone. I was talking about what I wanted to say to my parents as my farewell and how I knew I wouldn’t really tell them how I felt because it’s so hard to say how you truly feel – even when you love someone it’s not easy to share your feelings. Joseph said the same, that it’s easier to joke than open up your heart and say how much you care, so we kind of made a pact. If anything happened to me he was going to give my parents the messages that conveyed how I really felt towards them and I would do the same for him.”

“
We talked a lot before he went away. He did end up telling me exactly how he felt,” Mrs Soames said, appreciating what Grey was trying to do and assuring him that it was unnecessary.

“
A lot went unsaid.”

“
No, he talked to me before he went away – you’d left at this point. Are you sure you had this conversation with him? I’m just asking because I can remember Joseph telling me…this is sensitive, I don’t know how to say it.”

“
Just tell me straight, Mrs Soames, I can take it.”

“
He said that he heard you’d been thrown out of the army due to…mental problems. I’m sure he said then that he hadn’t talked to you properly in years.”

“
We drifted apart but we did meet up before I joined my new unit.”

“
I’m surprised he didn’t mention it. What did he say anyway?” she said, humouring him good-naturedly and giving him a dilemma. She believed him mad and the more he said, the madder she would think him, but he had promised Joseph that he would pass on his message. Grey chose to give her the message anyway and it made him feel better – he’d fulfilled his promise even if she didn’t believe him.

“
Are you able to work then, James?” Bob Grant asked as he brought their pints over, having insisted that all rounds would be on him – in the short time that Grey had been home he learnt that the returning soldier, particularly a grievously injured, taken for dead, soldier, could get very drunk without spending any money. In fact nobody even let him reach into his pocket even though he wanted to pay his own way, and took umbrage at the suggestion of him paying for his own liquor.

Grey nodded vigorously. “I was discharged over a year ago now, Bob. I’ve been out of the chair for four months and threw the sticks away last month. I won’t be on the track again anytime soon but I’m fit enough for the hard labour of the job.”

“
But your dancing days are behind you,” Bob joked.

“
In front of me, actually. The wife likes to dance and I can’t say no to her even though she’s full of grace and I’m a plodding lump of meat next to her.”

“
I never heard that you’d got spliced. Congratulations. In that case you’ll definitely need your old job back.”

“
If it’s still available. Did the work pick up?”

Bob grimaced. “It ebbs and flows. The books have been nothing special. Dick’ll have to go.”

Grey exhaled deeply and said, “I don’t want that.”

“
That was the arrangement. Dick’s done a sterling job; he’s changed a bit after the crash, a bit more sensible. Still daft as a brush most of the time but he’s toned it down a bit. I’ll be sorry to see him go but it’s just one of those things.”

Grey and Bob chatted over the afternoon with Grey filling him in on his experiences, yet Bob’s spiel was better and made it sound like Keokuk had been more interesting over the last year than the whole Normandy campaign. After considering the matter Grey said, “I don’t know for sure that I’m sticking around, Bob, so keep things as they are.”

“
You want some time to think about it?”

Grey shook his head. “Dick doesn’t deserve to be in limbo. He’s been doing the job now for longer than I did it in the first place. It’s not my job to take – it’s his now.”

Bob was relieved that Grey said this as he didn’t want to fire Dick and he said, “If things do pick up, which seems unlikely, I can contact you for bits and bobs?”

“
That’d be good.”

Grey told his father over dinner that his old job was gone which led to Abner practically rupturing a blood vessel as he ranted that his job had to be there for him by law.

“
Dick’s been doing it longer. Bob offered me my old job.”

“
Then take it.” Abner looked to Shirley and Germaine to back him up and said, “You two talk some sense into him.”

Shirley’s perspective differed from her husband – she’d had to reconcile herself with her son’s imminent burial and she still couldn’t believe he had returned seemingly so healthy. “Do you think you’re ready to work?” she asked, more than willing to support him indefinitely rather than endanger his health.

Grey nodded. “I’m going to try and stay away from any heavy lifting for a couple of months because I haven’t been walking unassisted long, but I could work now.”