Undone (19 page)

Embry stretched out in bed with no recollection of how she got there. As her brain began to wake up, memories clicked into place. Jack. The phone calls. Luke coming over …
shit.

She was sure she’d find Luke by her side—he must have put her in bed at some point—but she was alone. She slid out of bed, washed up, and headed for the living room to find her phone and call Luke. Instead, she found him asleep on the couch, his shirt folded neatly on the floor. Her eyes feasted on his body, taking full advantage of the opportunity to stare at him without notice. He lay on his back, one arm tossed over his eyes, making his abs stretch in a delicious way. His perfect lips were parted slightly, and his breathing was deep and even. He was out.

It hit Embry all at once. Her feelings for him—barely contained before—were spilling over the surface. It made her heart ache. She’d needed someone, in the middle of the night, and he hadn’t hesitated. He must’ve held her until she fell asleep, taken her to bed, and crashed on the couch instead of sleeping with her. She felt guilty. She’d been flirting, pushing the boundaries, and pulling away just as quickly. He was trying as hard as possible to respect her wishes, and she’d been sending mixed signals left and right. She owed him more than that. But the lines had been blurred and she had no idea how to go back.

Letting him sleep, she found her phone and plugged it in. When she turned it on, she was surprised that her voicemail wasn’t filled with more hang ups. Whether Jack continued to call or not, she knew she’d have to deal with it at some point. At that moment, she just wanted to focus on Luke. As quietly as possible, she set coffee to brew and got breakfast ready. While she was cooking the eggs, Luke wandered into the kitchen looking adorably disheveled.

“Hey,” he said, his voice a low, sleepy rasp.

“Hey yourself. Want some coffee?”

“Please. How are you feeling?” he asked, coming up behind her.

“I’m fine,” she answered too quickly.

She felt the warmth of his chest against her back as he leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Liar.”

Jumping at the feel of his breath on her neck, she swatted him. “Really, I’m fine.”

He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, his Celtic cross stretching across his bulging bicep. She wished he’d put a shirt on. “You weren’t fine last night. Want to talk about it?”

Part of her wanted to spill it all—her past, the phone calls—and seek comfort in his arms. But the more she let him in, the harder it was to keep things professional. She had a good laugh at that thought.
Professional, my ass
. Her professor was shirtless and standing in her kitchen.

She turned to face him, plastering on a convincing smile. “Really, I’m fine. I’m just over stressed. I put the memo off until the last minute, I’m not getting enough sleep, and I got myself all spooked.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” She was surprised he’d let it go so easily.

“Okay.” He shrugged in a way that told her he didn’t believe her, but he’d leave it alone for the moment.

Feeling uncomfortable under his scrutiny, Embry shoved a cup of coffee in his hand. “Go sit. I’ll bring you breakfast when it’s ready.”

Luke settled on the couch with his coffee, and Embry followed with bacon and eggs. They ate in front of the TV, and she was thankful for the distraction. She wouldn’t be able to avoid Luke’s questions forever. He helped her clean up and stayed for another cup of coffee before heading out.

They stood at the door, neither saying a word, avoiding the awkward good-bye. Another line had been crossed between them, and Embry wasn’t sure how to act. She was trying to do the right thing, but lately, nothing felt right.

He smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and lightly stroked her arm. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I am. I’m sorry about last night.”

He slipped a finger under her chin, gently coaxing her eyes to his. “Don’t ever apologize for needing me. I’ll always be here.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. Without a thought, she pushed up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his.

He returned the kiss, soft and slow, his tongue tangling with hers. All of her thoughts and worries were swept away. His hands lifted to run through her hair and she nearly let the kiss take her over. Nearly. They had to stop before they did more damage. It had been over a month since that night on his dock, and although their feelings were always simmering beneath the surface, they had been making a professional relationship work. But they couldn’t keep those crossing lines.

She gently pushed against his shoulders until he broke the kiss, and she knew with one look that she’d hurt him. There was no need to explain; he knew why she’d stopped. Her forehead fell against his chest. “We can’t. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

He pulled back, his features stiff. “I know. It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” There was a coldness in his voice she’d never heard. A coldness she’d put there. He walked out the door without another word.

Embry was half-awake as she wandered to the atrium on Friday afternoon. She’d pulled an all-nighter to finish her memo and had just turned it in. She’d been working on it non-stop since Luke left her apartment on Thursday. It was a miracle she’d finished at all considering how distracted she’d been.

When she wasn’t worrying about Jack and waiting for more harassing phone calls, she couldn’t take her mind off Luke. Hoping he’d just needed time to cool down, Embry had texted him, thanking him again for his help and setting up a research meeting with him for Friday afternoon. His response did little to curb her anxiety. A simple “yep” was all he had said.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear Jeremy and Morgan calling her until they were beside her.

“Ready for a drink?” Morgan asked.

“Is it espresso?” Embry shot back.

“No way,” Jeremy chimed in. “I need alcohol. That memo killed me.”

She could relate.

“Sucks for you, pretty boy,” Morgan joked. “I made that memo my bitch! We’re celebrating!”

Jeremy groaned and threw his arm around an exhausted Embry. Morgan continued to ramble in the background.

“Is she ever
not
like a cheerleader right before the big pep rally?” he asked quietly.

“Nope. This is pretty much her norm.”

They walked through the atrium and toward the front doors of the building. Embry pulled away from Jeremy toward the stairs leading to the faculty wing.

Morgan, who had just realized she no longer had an audience, turned around. “Hey, where are you going?”

“I have to meet with L—”

Morgan shifted her eyes toward Jeremy.

“Professor Brody,” Embry corrected herself. By the look on Morgan’s face, her best friend knew something was going on and wanted the scoop.

“Okay, I’m going home to grab Brett, and I’ll swing by in a while to pick you up. Jeremy, you want to meet us there at five?” Morgan asked, organizing their happy hour excursion.

“Sure. Duffy’s at five. See you guys later.” He walked out of the building.

Morgan closed in on Embry. “What’s going on with you and the prof?”

“Nothing,” Embry answered nonchalantly.

Morgan narrowed her eyes. “Nothing, my ass. I’ll get you talking tonight, Jacobs.”

“You can try,” Embry teased and walked away.

As she climbed the stairs, she felt the unwelcome dread she’d experienced the first few times they met for research. But they were so far beyond that. At least, they had been. As Embry neared Luke’s office, she realized she had no idea what mood she’d find him in. The door was ajar, and Embry walked in without knocking.

“Okay, so I’ll see you tonight then,” he said into the phone.

He was staring out the window and hadn’t realized she was there. She didn’t feel right listening to his call, so she dropped her bags louder than necessary to make her presence known.

He turned around, his eyes flicking to hers, and spoke to whoever was on the phone. “Yep, I’ll see you then. I look forward to it.” He hung up and regarded Embry. “Did you turn in your memo?”

“Yep.” She tried to pretend she didn’t notice the chill in his voice.

“Good,” he said, busying himself with a stack of papers.

She sat uncomfortably for a few minutes before she realized he had nothing else to say. She’d never seen him like that and had no idea how to act. He wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. He wasn’t hostile. He was just … shut down. Pulling out her computer, she tried connecting to the school’s WiFi to continue her research. After a few failed attempts, she realized the Internet must be down. It was a normal occurrence at Whitman. “Shit.”

He barely glanced up, as if responding would take too much effort.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she explained her problem.

“Fine. Use my computer,” he said, unfolding himself from the chair. “I have to go through the Allen file anyway.”

Embry dove into her research, trying to block out Luke’s presence. At some point, she became aware that he’d stopped what he was doing and was watching her. She tried to ignore him by scrolling through cases, but she felt his eyes boring into her. She kept her gaze trained on the computer screen, tracking him from the corner of her eye when he stood and walked toward her. Without a word, he leaned over her, his palms on the desk on either side of her, his arms caging her in. Her body heated at his close proximity.

“Finding what you need?” he asked, his breath tickling her neck.

She swallowed hard, trying to block out all of the inappropriate answers running through her mind. “Um, well this one here seems like the seminal case as far as the ethics issue goes.” She nodded at the screen.

“That’s good,” he said, leaning in farther.

He began talking about the case and all of the ethical issues they were researching, but she didn’t hear a word. His voice was a deep rumble in his chest, vibrating right through her. He rambled on about case law as if he wasn’t practically on top of her. She looked down in an effort to concentrate on his words, but all she could see were his strong forearms on either side of her. Her thoughts were muddled and confused. She couldn’t make sense of his behavior. Giving her the cold shoulder one minute, invading her personal space the next. She didn’t know what to make of it. He had to know how he was affecting her.

Suddenly it was all too much. She couldn’t be so close to him without responding, but she couldn’t have a repeat of Wednesday either. What was he thinking getting that close? In a quick, uncoordinated move, Embry shoved the chair back into Luke and jumped up. He rubbed his thigh where the chair had hit him and looked at her.

She searched her mind for an acceptable excuse. “I … I have to go!”

He quirked an eyebrow in that irritatingly sexy way she both hated and loved
.

I have to go. Good one, Embry. Real smooth.

“You have to go,” he repeated.

It was a statement, but she saw the question in his eyes. “Yes, I-um, I have—”

“To go,” he cut her off.

His tone snapped her out of it. She did have to go. She had drinks and friends waiting for her. She was in no mood to put up with the tension and confusion that came with being around Luke.

“Yep.” She grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “I do.”

Embry sat at a high-top table with Morgan, Brett, and Jeremy. Brett hopped up to drag over another stool while Jeremy carried over two pitchers of beer.

“Who’s that for?” Embry asked Brett.

“Oh, my friend Brendan is stopping by.” He wouldn’t look her in the eye. Brett had never had a good poker face, so she knew something was going on.

“Brendan?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Morgan cut in. “He’s Brett’s new best friend from CrossFit.”

“Oh God.” Embry rolled her eyes. “Really? You’re turning into one of those, Brett?”

“Hey, don’t knock it,” Morgan said. “You should see his abs. And his stamina …”

Brett flexed and shot her a wink.

“Ick. No thanks.” Brett was like a brother and Embry had no desire to hear about his stamina.

“Brendan’s a great guy. You’ll like him,” Brett said.