Unfinished Business An Angela Panther Novel (A Chick-lit Paranormal book) (The Angela Panther Series) (18 page)

M
urphy’s Law had a way of biting me in the butt, and it took a big ol’ chunk right out of my left cheek. I’ve never learned to knock on wood when it comes to covering my butt and I always end up suffering for it.

I should have known it wouldn’t be a good day. I woke up before five o’clock, something I don’t try to do, but Gracie’s internal alarm clock didn’t care what I wanted and told her to bug me until I moved. So I piddled around on my phone a bit, checking emails and FaceBook, and texting Mel. I left the comfort of my bed to hit the pot, as Ma used to say, and when I turned to flush, dropped my brand new bifocals right into my stuff. There was nothing more disgusting than picking soggy toilet paper from a pair of glasses before five o’clock in the morning. Nothing. Okay, except maybe kid puke in the middle of a bed that can’t be ignored. So I knocked on the wall when I thought of that, just in case. Wall, wood, same thing, right?

I rinsed my glasses, weighed myself, growled at my scale, certain it was out to get me, threw on my workout clothes and headed downstairs. I let the dog out and made her breakfast. When I let her in, she ran straight to her food dish, sliding on the wood floor into the wall. She didn’t care. She gobbled her food in seconds flat. If only a bowl of unpleasing food made me that happy. I’d eat broccoli all day long if that were the case and be a stick. A stick. I cursed Eve for taking the first bite of the apple, again.

Gracie excused herself with a nasty smelling dog food burp in my face and went back to bed. I grabbed a coffee cup and went to pour myself a cup, then realized I didn’t set it on auto the night before. After a long sigh, I grabbed my workout bag from the kitchen desk and walked out to the garage. Sometimes you just have to know when to give up, and I knew. Starbucks was my best option, so I headed there before the gym.

I pulled into the parking lot, and laughed at the six cars already in the lot. Maybe these people forgot to hit the start button on their coffeepots, too. Jenn asked if I want my regular today, but I told her I’d had an annoying morning, so I deserved the full fat mocha with extra whip. She gave me a tall in a grande cup, and added about one thousand calories worth of whipped cream on top and I loved her more than ever for that.

I sipped my luxurious, caffeinated cup of Heaven, and people watched as the sky slowly turned from black to light blue. Jenn came over every so often to chat, but didn’t mention what happened. It was our little secret or maybe the elephant in the room, I wasn’t sure. But not discussing it was fine with me since I was pretending ghosts weren’t a part of my life and all. Not sure where the time went, I realized it was an hour later and my mocha was long gone. I contemplated another, but instead said goodbye to Jenn and the other baristas and headed over to the gym. I gave myself points for self-control.

An hour later my face was the color of an over-ripe tomato from an intense workout and I felt energized, something I hadn’t felt in quite some time. The house was fairly quiet when I got home. Josh was snuggled under a blanket on the couch watching some horrific and ridiculously loud Nick JR show. “Hey, little man. Your dad in his office?”

“Yep." His eyes never left the TV.

“What about Emily? Is she up yet?”

“Mama, it’s morning, not afternoon.”

“Good point, but why are you up? It’s not even eight yet. Still trying not to waste your day?”

“Nah, I couldn’t sleep. I had this weird dream that Turner and me were in an airsoft war and we were facing a bunch of Marines and we had to hide in his neighbor’s garage. One of them shot the wall next to me and there was this loud
boom
, and I realized my iPod dropped off the bed, so I woke up. Don’t worry though, it didn’t break.”

“Oh, okay.” Note to self: don’t let son spend so much time on the XBox. “Well, I’m jumping in the shower now, ’k?”

“Yup.”

The phone rang just as I started to get into the shower. I let it ring a few times to see if anyone would answer, then finally ran, naked, into the bedroom to get it. It was Helen.

I grabbed my robe, knowing the conversation wouldn't be short. They never were. Helen had become my unofficial sounding board and when she called, I tried hard to become hers. Usually I hogged the conversation, but at least I tried.

“We need to talk about your dad."

I stiffened. “Why? What’s going on?”

“He’s not doing well, Angela. He’s lost a lot of weight and he’s really struggling with his breathing. The doctor says it’s anxiety, but I just don’t know. I think you should come out here. I know he’d like to see you.”

I hadn’t seen my father since Ma’s memorial service, and with his health deteriorating, visiting sounded like the right thing to do. “Is he eating?”

“Barely. He just has no appetite anymore. He’s worried about all of the weight he’s losing, but I can’t get him to eat more than a few bites of anything, even his favorite ice cream sandwiches.”

“And the doctor thinks it’s anxiety? That doesn’t make sense.” When I feel anxious I tend to stuff my face.

“I know. I’m really worried about him. I really think you should come up.”

“Okay. I’ll talk with Jake. He’s going out of town next week but I’m sure he can cancel. I’m assuming you want the whole family to come?”

“I know your dad would love to see everyone but I’m worried it’ll be too much for him.”

“No problem. Jake can stay with the kids then.”

“It’s okay, they can come if you want. I know it’s hard to pick up and leave like that.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t be a problem. Let me talk with Jake and see what he can do and I’ll call you back.”

After my shower, I got a wild hair up my butt and decided to put on makeup. If Jake notices, he’ll think it’s foreplay for sure. Ma floated in. “We need to talk,” she told me.

“Oookay.” I stretched my face to apply my mascara. “What’s up?”

“It’s about your father.”

I set the mascara down and stared at Ma. “What about Dad? What’s going on?”

“You know how I told you there are things I can’t tell you?”

I wasn’t up for game playing, not when it came to Dad. “Ma, tell me. What’s going on?”

She gazed the ceiling and made the sign of the cross. “I’m gonna have to do it. Forgive me, but I’m gonna have to do it.”

“Ma!"

“Your father, Angela, he’s sick. He’s really sick, Ang, and you need to see him. And you have to tell your brother, too. He needs to go. You make him go with you, and you go today.”

My first thought was to jump up and start packing but I tried to remain calm. I couldn’t quite call my brother and tell him our dead mother told me we had to rush to see Dad and I didn’t know if Helen had called him. “What do you mean by really sick? Like he’s going to go to the hospital, sick or he’s going to die, sick?”

She frowned. The sadness in her eyes was overwhelming. “I’m not supposed to be telling you any of this, Angela. I’m breaking the rules, but you gotta go. Call your brother.”

My hands shook and tears welled up in my eyes. I felt them roll down my cheeks. “Is he going to die, Ma? Is Dad going to die?”

Ma reached for me, but her hand passed through me. I felt an odd sensation, but it wasn’t comforting. I don’t think anything could have comforted me then anyway. “Honey, listen to your mother. Go downstairs and tell Jake he has to stay here with the kids and call your brother and tell him you’re going.”

“He won’t understand. He’ll think I’m being overly dramatic.”

“Then make him understand, Angela. Helen called him today, too. He knows your dad isn’t well. Remind him of what happened when Paul didn’t take you seriously about me. He’ll go.”

The tears came faster, and I tried to blot them out without destroying the little makeup I’d applied. I don’t know why that mattered, but it did. “Ma, please tell me, is Dad going to die?”

Ma shook her head. “I’ve already said too much. If your grandmother could, she’d beat me with a switch. But don’t worry, Ang, I’ll be with you, now go tell Jake.”

So I did.

“Is he going to die?”

I started to bawl. Jake grabbed me and held me tight and in the warmth and security of his touch, I calmed down a little. “She couldn’t tell me but I think I should go, Jake.”

He wiped my tears with his thumb, and I could see his eyes were red, too. “Yes, you should. Do you want me to come, too?”

“Helen thinks it might be too much for Dad, but I don’t know. I mean, if he’s going to die...” I couldn’t complete the sentence because it made me cry again.

“I’ll call Delta and get you on a flight tonight. When you get there, let me know what you think. If you want us to come out, we will. If you think we shouldn’t, we won’t. The kids will be fine. Don’t worry about them.”

I nodded into his chest and continued to let him hold me. I felt safe, but it didn’t remove the sense of doom I felt hanging over me.

###

J
ake called and got me on an evening flight to Indianapolis and left a message for John. I didn’t think I could call him without breaking down and I didn’t want to appear too emotional. My brothers have always considered me a drama queen and though I may have been before, we’ve all grown up and matured. I didn’t want to add fuel to their fire now. We didn’t think he’d fly out with me, but I didn’t want to wait to drive with him either.

I told Em and Josh that Grandma Helen needed my help with some things and I was flying up right away. Josh, sensing something wasn’t right, asked if he could go. I explained that his dad had some things to take care of but they might drive up in a few days. Josh was thrilled at the possibility but Emily was aggravated. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from getting nasty and saying something about my father possibly dying. Instead I hugged them both and started packing.

I called Helen and told her my arrival time and she offered to pick me up at the airport.

“Please, no. I'll take a cab. I don’t think you should leave Dad.”

Later I said goodbye to Emily, who only slightly aggravated by the disturbance. “Do we have to go with Dad?”

“We’ll see." I knew they would if he decided to come. I just wasn’t up for listening to her whine.

I met Josh in the hallway outside of Em’s room. “Hey, little man. I’ll call you when I get there, okay?”

He gave me a hug and squeezed me tight. “Mama, tell Grandpa I love him.”

“I will, baby.”

I could see the worry on his face. “Josh, don’t worry, okay?”

“I’m not worried, Mama. Grandma says Grandpa will really like Heaven ’cause he’ll get to see his family."

My stomach came up my throat. “When did Grandma tell you this?”

“I don’t know, a long time ago, I guess. I asked her if Heaven was nice, and she said it was ’cause you get to see your family, so I know Grandpa will get to someday, too.”

“I think Heaven is a happy place too, but I don’t think you need to worry about Grandpa or anyone going there, Josh. You’ve got bigger fish to fry, little man, like all of those XBox games. Go and destroy those, okay?” Using something I despised to deflect a challenging subject wasn’t one of my better mom moments but I was desperate and didn’t want to talk with my ten-year-old about his grandfather dying. I couldn’t handle it emotionally, probably would never be able to either.

Jake dropped me off at Hartsfield airport. He grabbed my suitcase from the back of the car and set it on the sidewalk. We hugged and kissed goodbye. I felt as though things were changing again and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t feel ready for another blow to my heart.

“Call me when you get there, okay?”

“I will.” I hugged him again and we kissed quickly one more time. “Love you.”

“Love you too."

I walked away like a lamb being led to slaughter.

D
ad was sitting in his chair in the sunroom, smoking a cigarette and watching the Military channel when the cab dropped me off. “Hello, Sunshine." His breathing was labored.

I swallowed back a sob and forced myself to smile. It wasn’t easy. It’d only been a few months since I saw him last but he looked different, smaller and older. Helen was right. This was bad. “Hi Daddy.” I walked over to kiss him. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I think I’ll live another day." That was his standard answer but it made a lump in my throat appear.

“Well, I sure hope so.” I tried to go along with the game we’d played for years.

I sat on the couch next to him and saw Helen in the window. We both smiled at each other, but instead of coming out, she continued to clean something in the sink, giving us time to chat, I’m sure.

Dad put out his cigarette and picked up his coffee cup. He used both hands and they shook as he held the cup. I felt my heart break. A man once so strong, so full of life, was now fragile and old and it seemed to happen almost overnight. He coughed his loud, painful sounding smoker’s cough, the one he’d had since I was a child. I cringed. Growing up I viewed the cough as a security blanket of sorts. When I heard it, no matter where we were, I knew he was close by and I felt safe. I didn’t realize it was a cough caused by the poison of cigarettes. I didn’t realize the cigarette Father’s Day and Christmas gifts I gave him contributed to this. Now the cough was a symbol of the damage smoking had caused and of his stubbornness to continue a habit that would eventually take him from me, and my part in it, too. It wasn’t a symbol of security anymore but more a sign of pending doom.

“I’m glad you’re here."

“Me, too.”

“Too bad Jake and the kids couldn’t come.”

I felt something inside me shift and I knew I’d call Jake later and tell him to come. “They’ll probably come in a few days, Dad. Jake just had to get some stuff done and, I didn’t want to drive with him. You know how he drives.”

Dad smiled and tried to laugh, but it brought on a coughing fit. I waited until he was done. “Yeah, he almost killed me in Italy.”

About five years ago on a family vacation, Jake took my father for a drive along the curved, narrow roads in Positano and Dad almost had a heart attack. He white-knuckled it the entire ride but I think he secretly enjoyed it. Even though it scared him, Jake is the only one he trusted to drive in Italy and Jake loved that. That ride secured an already tight bond between the two.