Unforgettable Summer: Wild Crush, Book 1 (22 page)

At least for him.

And that was the crux of it, the reason he was so shit scared to tell her the truth. The same thing that had held him back from blurting it last night, when she’d kissed his heart tattoo and said,
Whoever she was, I hope she was worth it.
The words had remained trapped in this throat, unspoken.
It was you. It’s always been you.

He was afraid she didn’t feel the same way. That for Summer this had been nothing more than a fun trip down memory lane, and if he confessed all, a horrified, pitying look would steal across her face.

The first time she’d turned away from him was bad enough. If she did it now it would be so much worse.

“Ty? What’s wrong?”

Absolutely everything.
Instead of answering, Ty tightened his hold on her ankle and yanked, dragging her toward him in an abrupt move that made her yelp in surprise. He had her astride him a moment later, her breath fanning rapidly across his face.

Ty watched her above him as he reached for the buttons of her shirt—his shirt from last night. He liked seeing it on her. He liked even more the smoky desire that swirled in her eyes as he parted the fabric with a jerk, exposing her bare breasts.

She moaned and dropped her head back when he took one into his mouth. No gentle preamble, just fierce, insistent sucking that had her writhing on top of him in an instant. He used his thumb and forefinger on its twin, coaxing it to a rigid point with a few firm tugs.

“Oh, Ty.
Yes.
”

Her hissed words told him he was hurting her a little while he aroused the hell out of her. The satisfaction he got from knowing that frightened him. He released her nipples, resting his forehead on her chest and pulling in deep breaths.

“Don’t stop, Ty,” she husked. “I want more. Please.”

Ty moved his hands to cup her sweet mounds, forcing his touch to remain gentle even as his words came out brutal. “I bet ol’ Duncan the Dud never made you beg like that.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “No, he didn’t.”

“Because you only respond this way to me.” Ty brushed a thumb over the nipple he’d made damp with his mouth and was satisfied to feel it grow even stiffer with arousal. “I’m the only lover who’s ever made you come.”

“You know it’s true.”

“Say it. Say I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

Despite the response of her body, a response she never seemed to be able to control around him, Summer shrank away from his touch. Or perhaps it was the abrasive, Neanderthal-like way he was speaking that made her pull the fabric of his shirt back over her chest. “Why are you being so callous, Ty?”

The wounded look in her dark eyes shamed him. Pushing out a rough sigh, Ty hauled a hand through his hair. “Because this is killing me, Summer. Aren’t you even a bit upset this is our last day together?”

“Is that what you think? That I’m not sad?” Shoving against his chest, she levered herself off his lap and took her seat beside him again. She stared at the fence that separated her apartment from the neighboring one. “What do you want me to do, Ty? Waste this day thinking about how after tomorrow I’ll probably never see you again?”

“I want you to consider the possibility that never seeing each other again is a sucky idea,” Ty spat. “I want you to promise you won’t fuck anyone else just because I won’t be around for a while.”

Her head snapped around whiplash-fast. “What did you say?”

Ty held up a hand, regret filling him instantly. “That didn’t come out the way I meant it to. But, Sum, the thought of you with another man makes me see red.”

“What do you mean—someone else? You’re
still here.
”

“Not for long.” He noticed how she flinched and dared to hope it meant she was more upset at the thought of him leaving than the way she’d been behaving indicated. “We need to talk about what you’re going to do after I go.”

She stood and wrapped the material of his shirt tight around her. Her retort was terse. “I’m not going to go out tomorrow and fuck anybody, just to set that record straight.”

“Good.” Her narrowed eyes warned him that his reply was a step over an invisible line but Ty was sick of pussy footing around. “It’s the truth. I don’t want you seeing other men.”

Her indignant scoff echoed off the fence closing in her courtyard. “And what will
you
be doing while I’m pining here like a pure maiden, hoping one day my big strong man will return?”

“Nothing you don’t want me to do. Your call.”

“You mean…you won’t see anyone else if I won’t?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t exactly what he’d meant, but it was the gist. The idea of going back to his old ways of meaningless one-nighters held zero appeal, regardless of whether Summer agreed to his suggestion or not. But he wanted to extract the same commitment from her, so he let her think his promise was conditional.

Commitment. There was a word that should have terrified him.

It didn’t.

He wanted Summer in his life from now on, however they could make it work.

“I don’t understand this, Ty,” she said. “You’re leaving tomorrow, going back to your real life, the life you love. We always knew this interlude would end.”

“Is that all it’s been to you? An interlude?”

“Scratching an old itch—
your
description, not mine.”

Right now, Ty could curse those flippant words. From the first moment he’d felt Summer’s heat clamp around him, their affair had never been that simple for him. “The game’s changed.”

“This isn’t a surf event. We’re talking about my life here, and it’s not a game.”

“I know, I’m sorry. We’re discussing my life here too. We’re talking about us.”

“Us?”

Ty stood and put his hands on her shoulders. He stared into black eyes that swam with confusion and fear. She was afraid to trust him—to trust them. He was afraid too—that she’d let her fear make her ultimate decision for her. His heart thudded hard against his ribs, adrenaline coursing through him like never before. He wet his lips. “I love you, Summer. I don’t want to lose you.”

Her eyes widened at his confession, but other than that response she gave no clue that she’d comprehended what he said. She stood as wordless and still as a statue.

After a while, Ty prompted, “Babe?”

“I heard you,” she whispered throatily.

She’d understood him and she was capable of speech. She hadn’t reciprocated because she wasn’t ready or she didn’t feel the same way. A gaping hole threatened to open up and swallow Ty, but he wouldn’t let it. Not yet. “There’s something special between us, Sum. You have to admit that.”

Mutely, she nodded.

Okay, progress. “Let’s not give it up. Let’s take a chance on it.”

She shook her head, and he wasn’t sure if it was a refusal or an attempt to clear her mind. “I wasn’t expecting this. I’ve been so careful.”

Careful not to let her feelings get away from her, not to let them show. But they were in there, somewhere. Ty had to believe it. She couldn’t give herself to him with such abandon and not form an attachment. She was too innately caring. She’d gift him with her heart if he asked for it the right way, Ty knew it.

If only he was sure what the right way was.

“Come surfing with me,” he said suddenly, inspiration hitting.

“What?” Summer blinked at him. “Now?”

“Right now.” She used to get it, the joy of taking a risk on Mother Nature, the reward that came with that risk. Maybe he could show her again that life wasn’t all about keeping yourself safe. It was about taking chances and trusting yourself to deal with whatever happened after.

She hedged. “I don’t have a wetsuit, or a board.”

“You won’t need a suit this time of year, and I have your old board in Dad’s shed.”

She stared at him. “You kept it?”

Once, years ago, his dad had asked him if he could give it away. Ty had nearly bitten the poor guy’s head off. “Couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.”

Out of all the things he’d said, that was the one that seemed to move her. Her eyes softened and shimmered. She covered her mouth with her hand, as though to stop herself saying something. Then she shrugged out from beneath his hands and walked a few paces away.

She was gathering her composure, reining in her emotions. She wouldn’t be able to do that out on the ocean. “Come with me,” Ty repeated with renewed determination.

He waited several nervous heartbeats before she finally whispered her answer.

“Okay.”

Hours later, Summer was still wondering why on earth she’d agreed to this lunacy. She hadn’t surfed in a decade, and it showed. After another unceremonious fall from the board, Summer came up spluttering and angry. When Ty paddled over to her, she glared at him. “I told you I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

“You’ll never do it with an attitude like that. You’ll catch one soon, I know it.”

Ty’s whole wave-guru act had seemed supportive and benevolent at first. Now his constant encouragement for her to try and try again was beginning to sound more like bullying. “It is possible I’ve lost the knack, you know,” Summer griped as she hauled herself back out of the water and sat astride the board for what seemed the thousandth time.

“No one loses the knack,” Ty said. “Just the nerve.”

She sent him a narrow-eyed look. “So you’re saying I’m chicken?”

“I’m saying you’re overthinking it.” Ty met her irritation without a flinch. “Surfing’s more about instinct than thought. You’ve forgotten how to trust what you feel.”

He wasn’t only referring to her lack of success with surfing this afternoon. He was talking about
them.
His words back at her place echoed through her mind, making her heart seize with a painful mix of joy and hurt.
I love you, Summer.

With every cell in her body, she loved him in return. Yet she hadn’t said the words back, afraid that if she let free the emotions they would carry her away. She’d forget to protect herself from the inevitable comedown when they both had to face the fact that love wasn’t enough to keep them together. It wasn’t her feelings she didn’t trust. It was life, and all it was bound to throw at them to tear them apart.

Dragging her gaze away from the intensity in Ty’s, Summer stared back at the ocean. “I need to go in to the smaller waves. These ones are too big.”

Ty scoffed, his benign demeanor slipping. “They’re barely three feet.”

“And I haven’t done this in a long time. I’m not at this level now. You need to treat me like a beginner.”

“You mean treat you like a china doll.” Ty added in a mutter Summer barely heard, “I’ve been doing that all bloody week.”

Summer whipped her head around to face him once more. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you act like you can’t handle things, but it’s not true.” A wave rolled under them and lifted their boards—Ty’s first, then hers. Ty reached out and grabbed the end of the mini-mal he’d given her years ago, and that he’d kept in his parents’ garage ever since, steadying her with one powerful arm. He pinned her with his gaze. “You can handle these waves. And you can handle me.”

A breeze came off the water, passing over Summer’s wet body. Bikini pants and a rash shirt were not enough protection against the unexpected chill. She clenched her teeth so they wouldn’t chatter, looking back at the waves because the fervor in Ty’s whiskey eyes was too much to take. What had been light blue swell with perfect fluffy white caps a few hours ago was now a mass of dark navy water set against the backdrop of an orange sky. The sun was going to set soon, on the last day she was to spend with Ty—the man she loved but couldn’t keep.

Why had he brought her out here? They were wasting their final hours together bickering about her poor wave-handling skills instead of making love like they should be. Gripped by annoyance once again, Summer resolved, “I’m going back in. You can do whatever you want.”

Ty let out a growl of frustration and gave her board a little shove. “Shit, Summer. You
are
chicken. Is this how you plan to spend the rest of your life?”

“I’m not talking about the rest of my life. I just don’t want to surf now.”

“Bullshit! You want to stay safe and cozy in the little world you’ve created for yourself without doing anything to rearrange it.”

“Hey, my world might be little compared to yours, but it’s
mine.
It took me a long time to build it, I can’t just dismantle it because you think I should.”

“Fine, you stay in a cocoon, but I can’t. Good luck, babe.”

With those cruel parting words, Ty paddled off, heading into the next wave like he was going to attack it or something. Summer watched, her chest heaving painfully, as Ty moved in line with the wave. He chose the perfect moment to snap to his feet, moving into the crouching position that was familiar from so many pictures and news reports. The water sluiced off his bare torso, his wet hair slicked back from his face.

He surfed that wave like the pro he was, carving up the whitewater with ease and finesse. When there was nothing left to ride, he dove off his board into the ocean. No ungainly wipeouts for Ty Butler. When his head reappeared, Summer let out a breath she hadn’t been aware of holding. A piece of her heart seemed to fall away when Ty didn’t turn around to look for her, as he had been doing all afternoon.