Unholy Promises (19 page)

I tilt my head, silently asking him to stay, asking him to abort this particular mission.

Saying finally, “There has to be another way, brother.”

His smile widens. “I’m not a scared boy today.”

I am not fast enough to catch him before he enters the elevator and the door closes, leaving me wondering when … or if … I will ever see him again. My very next thought is Glorianna and how I am going to make this up to her when I show up in San Francisco without him.

January 7

Lewd Larry’s BDSM Night Club

San Francisco, California

Lingering in the doorway of Garrett’s office, I watch him pace. The crowd is huge tonight and making him nervous, a half-finished Scotch on the Rocks beads moisture on his desk.

“Boss?” I like calling him boss. One, because technically, here, he is; but more, because I taught him everything he knows about being a dominant, christening him Ice as my submissive, and later Lord Ice, when he was ready to go off on his own as a Master Dominant. So, every once in a while I have to mentally top him, just because I can—

calling him boss usually does it.

“Thomas!” Garrett smiles and it is a genuine smile. He crosses the room to hug me, then slaps me. “You should have called. Kitten’s worried herself to death and The Attic has been in chaos since you’ve been gone. I’m losing a fortune without you up there.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t a planned trip.”

“You’re always sorry and your trips are never planned,” Garrett jokes, but the underlying tone is serious. “I’m used to you, she isn’t, and now that we’re in a relationship together, your every action affects both of us.”

“I called her from the plane,” I defend. “I promised you last time that I would call the next time I had to leave unexpectedly … and I did.”

“She said as much.” His tone tells me more than words.

“What?” I ask, exasperated that he is angry. This is my life and he knows it. Having known me longer than almost anyone in this country, he is perhaps the only person I expect to understand and had hoped that he could comfort me without knowing the details. I am angry and tired and am in no mood to deal with everyone else’s drama, but that is exactly what I am now expected to do. “Is she here? I can apologize now.”

“No, I didn’t tell Kitten that you’re back—I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Is something wrong with her?”

“She was very distraught after you left. She’s been terrified that you wouldn’t come back this time.” Garrett walks back to his desk and, lifting the Scotch to his lips, swallows all that is left in his tumbler. “She wanted to go looking for you.”

“She wanted to come after me?” I snicker.

“Yes,” he answers, and again there is more anger in his voice than I expected. “She actually left with every intention of finding you. Do you understand? I’ve kept her in her cage!”

Ah, the crux of the problem.

“Look, it hasn’t been all that long ago that I ran south of the border to find myself …

and I thought you might just need time. So, whatever dark hole you crawled into, not my business … before. Now, it is. Because I will not cage Kitten again. And if you ever disappear like this again … I’ll let her come.”

“Even if it would put her life at risk?” It is more information than I should divulge, but I have to make him understand … I wasn’t on a holiday.

He shakes his head, realizing that this is one of those times he cannot ask and even if he does I won’t tell. “I should.”

“Don’t bother, if I don’t want found, not even God can find me.” I smile, teasing him, because it is the only way I know to lighten the mood and I am too close to breaking, but the look he gives me tells me he understands. I’m not sure why I share, but I do. “I was in Paris.”

“Kitten said as much. And you went to find Eva?”

He shocks me. I sit down in his leather desk chair, knowing how much he hates it when anyone sits behind his desk; however, tonight I am not sitting there to irritate, it is the closest seat and I really need to sit. I’ve never told anyone about Eva. How could she possibly know? He sits next to me, propped against the edge of his desk, and smiles, pleased he has discomfited me.

“You talk in your sleep. Kitten guessed that you’d gone to find a woman named Eva.

She said you also dream in French. You may not have known that she’s fluent. When I found her and stopped her, she was boarding a plane to France.”

“Really?” I reply, my heart in my throat. “Any other secrets I’ve disclosed while sleeping?”

“Don’t worry, Thomas, every secret you’ve ever shared with either of us is safe with us,” he answers cryptically and noncommittally. Leaning forward, he puts his hand on my shoulder. “This time, you scared me, and I don’t scare easily. I’ve gotten use to your unscheduled trips, but this time felt different. Then Kitten panicked, and I understood the fear behind it. She thought you weren’t coming back to us.”

Looking into his face, I realize that I really scared him, and being afraid of losing someone, I do understand. I smile at him, which is noteworthy, because I rarely smile. It is something I almost always have to force myself to do, and to realize that I am smiling, and not forcing myself to do so, is significant. It is good to be … home. I take his hand and pull him from the desk, pressing him down to kneel before me on the floor. Bending forward, I kiss his temple. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I scared both of you. I’ll be more careful in the future.” I press my forehead to his. “I’m really glad Kitten brought us back together, I’ve missed you, both of you … and absolutely nothing could keep me from returning to you. It’s just that since losing Latisha and the children … I need to re-connect. I’ve lost so much. I need to find the people I love, people who love me in return

… and fill the gaps.” I stroke his face, hoping he understands. “Not that you and Kitten aren’t enough. You are. You both are. But—” I cannot tell him that I went to find Nikkos, or why, I can only admit to Eva. I hold Garrett’s gaze, hoping that something other than the words spewing out of my mouth makes sense to him, makes him understand what I can’t explain. “…she was once very important to me. I needed to see her.”

“Did she come back with you?”

“No,” I answer, rawness filling my chest. I swallow hard, fighting the panic that she might not live through the night. “She’s…” My voice cracks and I can’t bring myself to voice the truth, that she is in a hospital, in grave condition. Instead I say, “I don’t know when or if she will join me here. That is up to her.”

Reaching slowly, Garrett wraps his hand around the base of my neck. I return the action, pulling him toward me, he pulling me toward him. Forehead to forehead, we meet in the middle. “What we have is working,” he insists and I know what he is trying to say.

Our threesome is so fresh, so new, so really, really working, why in the fuck am I risking messing it up?

“Yes, and it isn’t my intention to spoil what we have.”

Garrett rolls his face until we are cheek to cheek. “But you would have brought her back with you if she’d been willing to come, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” I admit.

“Don’t fuck us up, Thomas. Not for a ghost. What we have is too amazing.”

“I know!” I rock away, leaning back into the chair, but not releasing Garrett’s nape.

He is forced to follow. “I know, I know, I know. I went to Paris to…” I stop myself from saying to find my brother, realizing that I really need to leave this room. “I’m not coming home, not yet.”

Garrett pushes me away and stalks to the other side of the room, threatening, “Don’t you dare hurt Kitten.”

“Then keep her away from me for a little while … at least until I get my head straight.” I leave his chair and cross the room, wanting to escape his glare, his judgment.

“I’ll be in The Attic.”

“How long can she stay caged?” he demands.

I pause only long enough to answer, “As long as you choose to keep her there.”

I sit alone in one of The Attic playrooms, although it is no longer used as a playroom because everyone here knows it’s my home. Windowless, soundproof, it is a good place to sit and reflect. Yoga, meditation, pushups, hundreds of pushups, is perhaps what’s keeping me sane. If I open my eyes or close my eyes, the view is the same …

nothingness. The walls are black, the tile floor black, the spare furniture and rubber mattress all black.

The room and its darkness are a relief. I imagine that Eva’s mind is in such a place.

Surrounded by the dark and, sitting on the floor, mind blank, I reach out to her with my thoughts, willing her back, sending her mental images of calla lilies and emotional vibrations of love. Hours pass and it is like minutes, so peaceful is the place where our mind meet. Last night I opened my eyes to find my brother sitting across from me, mirroring me, sitting in lotus position just as I was. His eyes were closed and tears streamed down his face. Reaching for him, I realized that he wasn’t there … just a vision

… and he was the one able to shed the tears I was so unable to. He, the one strong enough to rip the wings off small insects, leaving them crippled and maimed, crying for me, the one who can’t.

I shake away the vision of him, wanting instead to meditate on Eva’s healing. Deep undercover once more, and forced into a communication blackout, I manage to stay abreast of Eva’s condition through a network of contacts loyal to me. The news isn’t good—she is unconscious and has been since falling asleep four days ago. Not, medical—psychological—is the official word coming from a team of agency physicians.

Sitting, waiting, an ocean between us, my life is on hold.

Raised Orthodox, I haven’t prayed in a very long time. Today, I spent the entire morning praying, the day slid together without notice, and now, night has fallen over the city and the kinky have come out to play. I imagine there is a packed house, though I haven’t ventured out to see for myself. I can barely stand my own company, let alone a crowd. It is unfair that I have pushed away Garrett and Celia, but I tell myself that I am protecting them. When my cell phone rings and I see that it is Glorianna, I am reassured that I am making the right choice by keeping myself separate from them at this time.

This moment, Glorianna is an ally; however, the moment I answer the phone and inform her that the mission was a failure, that may all change—putting my life and anyone near me at risk.

I open the phone, saying nothing, from her side too there is silence for a moment. “I expected you to come by,” she says finally.

“I wasn’t sure that would be appropriate under the circumstances.”

“All is lost then?” she asks and it is in the tone of a very dangerous woman.

“No, I wouldn’t say that all is lost.”

“What would you tell me then?”

I close my eyes, reaching out to Nikkos and finding the energy that I know means he is still living, breathing … I seek more than that, needing to know whether he is at peace or surrounded by danger. I chant in my head, Alexiares and Aniketos, Alexiares and Aniketos, Alexiares and Aniketos, hoping for the correct answer. My thoughts fill with images of Nikkos, Eva, Garrett and Kitten, all the ones whom I love, where we have all gathered on my grandfather’s island.

“I imagine more time is all that it will take to resolve this issue.”

“More time?”

“Yes, I have not failed you, I just merely need more time to make your wish complete.”

The sun is warm on the sand and I lead Eva away from the others, walking hand in hand down the beach. I make love to her in the sand, waves breaking around us. It isn’t practical, sand gets into all the crevices and is a bitch to get out, but it is the most romantic, happy vision my exhausted mind can come up with, and so I kiss her salty, wet face, making her laugh, and her cheeks glow with health.

“Can we stay here forever, Luka?”

“Forever and ever, Eva.”

I close my eyes on the daydream and my phone trembles against my ear, my hand shaking with the force of which I have it gripped. I have never allowed myself to dream of happy endings. I will not be denied this one. “Yes, Glorianna, trust me and give me a little more time.”

“We don’t have time, Thomas. What you ask of me is great.”

“The greater good will be served by your patience.”

She sighs heavily. “There are others who want him dead today. Only because I cherish our relationship have I stepped out on this limb to protect him.”

“Then do what you must do to save face, because to kill him, his enemies would have to be able to find him, and that isn’t going to happen.”

“You seem very certain of that, Thomas.”

I laugh. “You will see, love, my brother is invincible, but I would ask that you honor your promise of protection when I am able to bring him here.”

She is curt when she answers, “My word is good,” before disconnecting. My ringing cell immediately vibrates in my hand. My blood runs cold, knowing it is Henri and that he wouldn’t break the communication blackout unless it were dire news or our assignment had changed. I don’t say a word, putting the receiver to my ear and waiting for him to speak first.

“It isn’t good, my friend.” Henri’s voice. “The doctors believe she isn’t waking up because she doesn’t want to. She may not survive the night.”

“I’m flying in!”

“No!” Henri shouted. “Not until all the charges against you are dropped. I can’t assure your safety.”

“When has that mattered before?”

“I had to hold Eva’s hand through your funeral once. I won’t do it a second time.”

I didn’t have time to stay mad at him long. My cell phone was buzzing in my hand even as he hung up on me. My U.S. contact informs me that I have an assignment.

I close my eyes, letting a long silence fall between us like a wall, before asking,

“Details?”

“Four nights ago, eight runaway girls triggered Interpol’s radar when they crossed into the United States. The border authorities somehow managed to let them slip through their fingers. Thanks to the headmaster’s missing person report filed the same day, we have current photos. They disappeared from their very exclusive boarding school.”

“You’re keeping something from me.”