Unintentional (17 page)

I tell her, “It’s not over yet. Just a little more.”

Laurel looks so conflicted. She whispers, “Cade…”

And just that one word does it to me again. This time I grab her roughly, too roughly. But Laurel seems to like it.

She fists her hands into my shirt and says under her breath, “I give up,” and the kiss becomes what I’ve come to expect when we’re together.

We can’t seem to do anything slow and steady. The passion between us is scorching. I feel as though I’m on fire. I’m burning for her. I’m not ready to stop. I don’t want to come back to reality. I’m about to ask her to please come home with me—I want this more than
my next breath and I’m preparing to beg—when I hear Sophie clear her throat.

“You two need a time-out. I’ve been appointed babysitter, and you two are not behaving.” Sophie gives us a guilty smile. She peers over at Laurel, looking for confirmation.

Laurel closes her eyes, and when she opens them, I see the same resolve she had at the beginning of the conversation. “I’m sorry, Sophie. It looks like we do need a babysitter.” Laurel shakes her head, apparently scolding herself.

“No, this one was all on me.” I hesitate, because I don’t want to say the next words. “I know this was the last time. You’ve made that clear. From this point on, all business – okay?”

If I didn’t know better, I could swear I saw disappointment dance across Laurel’s eyes. She nods slowly, as if coming out of a trance. “Good plan. Sophie, you ready to run?”

Sophie looks back and forth between us. “Do I have to?” she whines.

Laurel lets out her breath. “For goodness sake, Sophie, it’s just a couple miles! You are a much better runner than I am.”

“So true. It’s just that…” She pauses. “Um, well, it’s just that I
feel like I’m interfering. I think you two have a lot more to talk about.”

Laurel looks at her with panic written all over her. From her facial expression to her fisted hands. “Nooo. We just finished talking. We have it all worked out. Right Cade?” she asks hopefully.

“Right,” I reassure.

“Oh, you two.” Sophie drops her hands in defeat and mutters to herself. “It’s going to happen. Anyone can see that.” She turns and runs in the opposite direction.

“I guess that’s our cue. Let’s go!” Laurel runs after Sophie, and I run after Laurel. Why do I think this might be a pattern?

∗∗∗

The next day, Laurel leaves Sophie behind. That must mean she’s beginning to trust me. I’m going to do my best to honor her wishes. I vow to keep my distance physically, but I do plan to ask her more questions. I want to know more about her. After our initial greeting, we start along the familiar path.

Thinking back on it, I realize now she really isn’t rejecting me as much as she’s protecting herself. I should know. I’m an expert at that. I’m trying to figure out why I keep trying to get through her barrier. Why don’t I just give up?

We’re about five minutes into our run when I hear a voice shout, “Laurel!”

I look to see a banker-type standing in front of Laurel. He would probably be considered handsome, if you liked the every hair in place, impeccably pressed suit and tie sort of guy.

“Douglas? What are you doing here?” Laurel looks shocked.

I wonder about her reaction. Who is this guy?

“I’ve been in Seattle for a couple weeks. My firm wants to expand into the markets here, and they sent me to scout things out.” He openly glares at me and remarks, “So, you must be the rocker who stole my girl from me with just one kiss.”

Laurel’s hands fist by her side. “Douglas! That’s none of your business. That was over a year ago.”

Has Laurel been kissing other rockers? Let me think, over a year ago would have been… I remember, the kiss after our lunch at Elliott’s down at the pier. She broke up with her boyfriend over our kiss?

I raise a brow and look at Laurel for an explanation. She looks like she wants to melt right into the lake and disappear.

“Douglas, we can talk about this later. Right now isn’t the best
time.” She turns to me to make the introduction. “This is Cade. We work together, professionally.” Laurel glances back and forth between us.

Douglas’ expressions softens. Mine hardens. Why is she making it sound like I’m nothing to her? Oh, that’s right. I
am
nothing to her. Suddenly, I’m pissed. I had the rejection part under control. Now I have a new emotion—jealousy. It feels hot and bitter. I don’t want her to see how this affects me. I don’t want to
feel
how this affects me. I need to get my emotions in check. I make the decision to get the hell out of here. I need to get my head together, and it’s not going to happen when I’m around Laurel.

“Hey, I’m going to take a rain check on the run for today.”

Laurel shakes her head.

“It’ll give you a chance to catch up with your…friend.”

I give them a backward wave and make my way back to my car at a quick pace. The irony isn’t lost on me. I’m doing exactly what Laurel did the day before yesterday.

Running away.

Chapter 15

Laurel

Douglas breaks into his signature grin, charming and personable. “Would you like to grab a coffee with me? It looks like I’m going to need to apologize again.”

I really have missed his calm and genial personality. Right now, I’m not very happy with him, but we do need some closure.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Cade wasn’t angry. He has a lot to do.” Do I want to spend time with Douglas? I decide that, yes, I think it would be a good idea for us to have a better conclusion, for both of us.

“Sure, let’s get some coffee. I’d love to catch up. I didn’t like the way things ended the last time we were together.”

We walk across the street to Starbucks and order our coffees. I always thought it was kismet we both liked caramel macchiato, no foam with whipped cream, extra hot. I believed it was a sign we were meant for each other. I guess a few similarities in coffee choice wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship.

Douglas takes a long look at me, staring.

“What?” I ask.

“You’re actually more beautiful than I remember. I can’t believe it’s possible, but here you sit.”

I can feel myself blush. Douglas was always good with compliments.

“Thanks, Douglas. You look great, as well.”

We sit quietly for a few moments. I hope this doesn’t get awkward.

“It’s been too long. I’ve been meaning to call you, but I wanted to give you some time to think about things. I waited, hoping you’d call me by now.” His brow furrows. “But I think I might have made a strategic misstep, because, as you know, you haven’t called.” His smiling good humor is back.

“That’s funny, because I think your last words to me were you’d win me back. I waited for the big play,” I tease.

“That day, Laurel, when we had our talk? I was caught off guard. It was the first thing that popped into my brain. I’m usually more conscious of what I say.” He shrugs and continues. “I have to ask now that I have the opportunity. Why, Laurel? Why did you end
things? I thought everything was going so well.”

“I don’t know how to answer that. Something was missing for me, Douglas. I can’t put my finger on what it was exactly. All I know is that, I wouldn’t have kissed someone else if I was sure about us.”

“Did you have to be sure? We’d only dated for three months. Of course there’s going to be some doubt along the way.” He pauses. “You really aren’t dating the rocker guy?”

“Cade? No, no I’m not.” Why does this statement make my stomach drop?

“Would you consider dating me again? Slowly, no expectations?” His face is smiling, but I detect he’s trying to hide something, maybe insecurity? He was always so self-assured. This isn’t consistent with what I remember about him.

“I don’t know, Douglas. I’m going to be so tied up with promoting Hard Reign. This is the biggest opportunity that’s ever come my way. These guys are going to be huge.”

I see a blaze of an unknown emotion quickly appear then disappear behind his eyes. He regroups and smiles warmly.

“How about when you’re done with the major push? Will you think about it?”

“Sure. I’ll think about it.” I smile back at him.

He really is a good guy. Maybe after this craziness is over, I’ll need someone slow and steady like Douglas.

Chapter 16

Laurel

March

I’m in a room with fifty phones ringing at the same time. I know I need to answer them, but I’m worried I’ll choose the wrong one. I pick up the phone closest to me and answer tentatively.

“Laurel Lawson.”

I hear a chuckle on the other end. “Are you always this professional in the middle of the night?”

My bleary brain starts to clear the fog from my dream. “What? Who is this?”

He laughs again. I know that laugh, but he sounds different somehow.

“Cade?”

“Yep. It’s me. Whatcha doing?”

I train my eyes on my alarm clock.

“Yeah, uh…well, since it’s two in the morning, I’ll let you guess.”

He laughs again. Now I hear background noises—glasses clinking, people talking, low music playing. He’s at a bar.

He lowers his voice. “Who’s Douglas?”

“Cade? You met Douglas two months ago. Why are you asking now?” Is he drunk?

“It’s taken me this long to work up the courage to ask you. Are you dating him?”

I’ve spent the last two months working eighteen hours days, trying to get Hard Reign’s demo recorded and tour dates set up. He must think I’m Superwoman or something.

“You do know I’ve spent every waking moment these past two months working to get the band promoted, right? I haven’t had time to breathe let alone date.”

“Oh, uh, thanks, Laurel. I do appreciate all the work you’ve done for us. I guess I should ask a different question. If you had more time, would you want to date him, or someone like him?”

I sit up in bed.
Don’t you dare get all soft and vulnerable on me!
It’s hard enough to resist the sexy, tattooed engineer/singer. Now this? I don’t know why, but I’m totally angry, angry he’s taken precious sleep from me, angry he’s showing me this side of him. I
don’t want to see it.

“Cade, you need to drop this. Okay? I’m going back to sleep, and I suggest you do the same. I’ll talk to you later.” I click off. If there was an award for the Biggest Bitch in the World, I’d win it right now. It can’t be avoided though. I desperately need some distance. I haven’t seen Cade in two months, but the emotional pull is still there, strong as ever.

Cade

I put my head down on the bar, taking a deep breath. I hear Scott’s voice.

“Shot down again, huh?”

I wonder, if I punch him will he remember it tomorrow? He gives me a sympathetic pat on the back. I put my plans to deck him on hold, for now.

“Yep, she hung up on me.” I leave my head on the bar. The cold feeling of the wood beneath my head is helping to alleviate my impending headache.

“Cade, man, why do you always pick the unavailable ones?
Look around you. There are dozens of women right here in this bar who’d love to go home with you. Except here you are, pining away for the one woman who doesn’t want you.”

That stings. I look up as Scott motions over to a table of five women, all of them with their eyes on us. My eyesight is blurred, but I’m still able to make out the heavily made up, overtly loose women two tables away. They all look alike. Bottle blondes, false eyelashes, false smiles, false everything. Laurel is real. She’s not like these girls.

“Laurel wants me. She just doesn’t know it yet,” I respond. My words sound confident, but I’m not.

Scott chuckles. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, why don’t we have a little fun?”

He waves over to the table of girls. I can hear them tittering and squealing with excitement. Oh, hell no.

“I’m feeling a little sick. I’m going to head home. I’ve already called the taxi,” I state unequivocally. I know when Scott gets in his party mode it’s hard to stop him.

“Cade, wait a minute. I want to tell you something.” He pauses, looking uncomfortable. “I know how you feel, man. I’ve been going through the same thing myself with Sophie. It’s been months. I’ve
tried everything to get her attention, but she hasn’t noticed me – at all. Those two girls, Cade, they aren’t going to budge. They take their professionalism very seriously. You have to start living your life. First, it was Mattie, now Laurel. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

I know he’s right. I’m so out of my depth on this. I have to let Laurel go. I place my head back onto the bar and wait for my taxi.

Chapter 17

Laurel

Seven months later

October

Seven months. Seven long months. I’ve only seen Cade in person twice. Both times at business meetings with a room full of people. Why am I torturing myself like this? I keep hoping we’re thrust into a storage closet again, or a park bench, or anywhere we can be alone. Would it happen again if we were? That vibrating, electric spark igniting every cell in my body, making me forget everything I thought I wanted.

I’ve told him I want to keep our relationship strictly professional. That’s what my brain wants. My heart is a different matter. Why does he have to be so respectful? I wonder if our agreement is as tough on him as it is on me. I think about him constantly.

I’ve been lucky enough to get to know all of the band members, and they’re a fantastic group. I have to admit, though, my
favorite, other than Cade, would be Scott. He’s got this “Let’s have fun, who the hell cares” attitude. I wish I were more like him.

The band has jokingly named me “Major League Laurel.” I like that they have confidence in me, but I worry they think I’m all business all the time. I can’t blame them. I’ve tucked away my fun, free-spirited side for the most part. I’ve dedicated my entire life to them and the promotion of their band. I think they all sense how much I believe in them, and I know they appreciate all the hours I’ve spent making sure everything goes just right. The only problem is, I haven’t made sure
my life
is going just right. I’ve put what I need, what I want over to the side. I’m okay with it though. As soon as Hard Reign hits it big, like I know they will, the biggest part of my job will be done.