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If I can’t fix it, it can’t be fixed.

Apart of me wanted to believe her. Chino was thinking about divorce right along with me, that much was certain. However, the only difference between he and I was that I was trying to fall out of love with him in the same breath. He, on the other hand, was obviously still very much in love with me. He couldn't deny it even if he tried and he was willing to do any and everything to save our marriage. The problem was that, I did not know if I had what it took to join him in the restoration of our union. I did not know if we should keep putting ourselves through the misery of having to deal with each other’s bullshit. Or, call this what it was and let it be.

Chino

The early morning corner Planet Fitness gym parking lot was hollow. It had a lot to do with the Evergreen Plaza Mall being in the middle. Usually if the mall was closed so was everything around it so people avoided it at all cost until around midday. Fog floated by so thick, that I thought I was in an old Jason horror movie waiting to be killed. The suspense of it heightened my anxiety nearly sending me into a paranoid frenzy. It was either that or the nerves of the reason why I was here in the first place.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that my wife did not want me. Her reasoning for it was not honorable either. But, she was adamant about it and nothing I did was good enough to be able to change her mind. Divorce was not something that my soul was prepared to deal with. I sighed heavily every time I had to think about even holding those papers in my hands. It was all so surreal to me, like a dream that I couldn’t stir and wake myself up from. Though I had come to the conclusion that it was something that was about to be a very real thing. I exited my car with my bag in tow.

“Mario, what’s up bro? I’m not a member so how the hell am I getting in this joint?” I questioned as he picked up on the other end.

“Oh, my bad. I gotta say you’re my free plus one. I’m coming up to the entrance now,” Mario said before hanging up the phone.

He showed up at the entrance seconds later, shaking up with me as he held the glass door open to let me in the gym. The purple and black ambiance of the gym seemed a little off but I shook it off searching the small crowd for Ashley. Mario pointed to the clipboard on the C-shaped desk, directing for me to sign my name. I did so, while he swiped his card then escorted me past the weight machines to the locker room. The air seemed to be as thick inside as it was outside the door.

There were very few people there but the ones who were, all had their headsets on focused on their workouts. My anxiety started to kick in as I passed them, trying to focus in, wondering if they were watching me or not. I knew as soon as my body touched a machine they would be. It was nerve wrecking. Mario noticed my perspiration and patted me on the shoulder to bring me back to the focal point. I was about to freak out and leave. He knew it and shoved me into the entrance labeled Men’s Locker Rooms overhead.

Once I put my bag in his locker, securing my sweat towel and bottle of water, we went back out onto the weight floor. Looking around it reminded me of why I avoided these kinds of places for so long. All of those muscle bound idiots trying to lift the heaviest weight for the females who were looking but could care less, annoyed the shit out of me. Everyone was hell bent on proving who sported the biggest dick.

The smug look on my face spoke volumes to those that eyed me as I strolled passed them. They were overdoing it and it showed. As we walked, I noticed all of the machines that this gym had and even though it didn’t look like much from the outside, it was rather large from the internal point of view. We stopped in front of a row of treadmills all lined in front of the huge windows overlooking busy Western Avenue. I side eyed him wondering what the hell was he trying to prove, displaying me in front of yet another group of people.

“I gotta admit, I thought you weren’t coming bro. You’re late.” Mario hit my chest before jumping on a treadmill.

“Yeah, no I had got caught up in something. It’s crazy.”

“Something with Starla?”

I didn’t want to look him in the face. “Yeah.”

“Dude you gotta let that crap go man. You’re stressing yourself out for no reason.”

“Man she came in the house right when I was about to leave out and I just couldn’t leave without saying something. She was out all damn night. She’s never done that before,” I replied a little annoyed.

“She’s so toxic for you right now, Chino, and I don’t even think you really realize it yet. You’re so blinded by the love you have for her that you can’t even see that she’s not the same bitch you married, bro. She’s changed into someone else.”

"You can say that again. I tried to kiss her today and she wouldn't kiss me back. Shit I stuck my hand down her pants and she pushed me away. She used to love it when I did that shit to her and now..."

"Well since you told me to do it then I will say it again. She's not the same person you married years ago, bro."

“I know she has but she’s still my wife. I just can’t see giving up on a marriage that easily. My parents stayed together through thick and thin until my moms died so what makes us exempt from doing that? We never even tried to work this shit out, bro.”

“Chino, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth. That bitch is bouncing her pussy up and down on some other dude’s dick man and could care less on how you feel about it. How long are you gonna play the marriage card before you wake the fuck up and get another chick to bounce on yours?”

I could not even dignify that with a response. Instead I turned my treadmill all the way up to a comfortable running speed and pretended like I was focused more on my workout. I was far from it, however. In fact, my legs began to burn the more I ran, swinging my arms to keep up the pace. My body begged for mercy, feeling a bit out of shape after only two minutes of running, as I turned the speed level back down to a reasonable stride.

My entire body ached. My athletic build was no match for a good clean workout regimen, something I had not seriously done since the beginning of college. The wind was knocked out of me. I gasped for air hoping I Wouldn’t collapse right there and have to be hauled away by the ambulance. As if not being able to last more than two minutes of running wasn’t embarrassing enough.

“Hey there, sugar.” Ashley's voice was like that of a beautiful hummingbird, but her coming up on the other side of us startled the hell out of me.

“Hey.” I greeted trying to play it off. “I see you are late, counselor.”

“No I wasn’t. I was on the women’s side waiting to see you out here before I came out,” She replied winking one eye at me as she started a nice pace on the treadmill next to mine. “Hey Mario.”

Mario stopped his treadmill shortly before he grinned and walked off waving without a word. It all happened so quickly I was unable to get a word in at him. It was his way of giving us time alone, which was cool but was not what I had in mind just yet. I was not ready to be alone with a woman this attractive. I didn’t know if I could fully trust myself around her.

Being in the presence of her beauty scared me shitless. It as the most honest I had been with myself in months. She was statuesque at 5’ 9”, smooth deep dark brown chocolate skin that made you crave a Hershey’s or Milky Way bar. Her dark brown eyes were impeccably sultry and could make any man’s heart beat stop before bringing him back to life again.

Her waist carried a voluptuous thick booty that extended and begged to be playfully bitten, as did the perfect double D’s sitting up top. She was the perfect African goddess, if I had ever seen one. She didn’t have long weave all down her back either and that was a plus in my book. Instead, she rocked her natural shoulder length hair nicely straightened. She was pinning it up with a pin in the back as her stride increased on the machine. Still, it was gorgeous. Starla would only wear her natural hair on special occasions like my birthday and only because she knew I preferred it that way.

“So, you were trying to clock me as if I was late but I see you just got here.” Ashley's smile lit up the room to me.

“Uh, yeah. I got tied up with business.”

“Always the business man. I love that.”

“You know me. All work and no play. So you come here often, Ashley?”

“Naw, I try to come at night after work to keep my figure tight but for the most part I’ve got a treadmill in my office with a couple of weights. Sometimes it’s just nice to get out. You know?” She turned to me shutting her machine down. “What about you, sir? Do you get out often?”

“Not really. I just recently started getting out and about again. I’m a workaholic homebody.”

We laughed. I stopped my treadmill in order to give her my full-undivided attention. It was only right to let her know that I was just as interested in our reconnection as she was. Although, she was making it hard for me to focus on the conversation with her pearly whites flashing me every ten seconds. We moved over to the wooden benches in the corner of the gym to talk.

Hours passed without us even knowing it, giving us the freedom to talk about everything under the sun. We even ventured down memory lane, the good old days. It felt great to reminisce and remember the kind of fun edgy person that I used to be, before all of the hustle and bustle of life interfered.

“Remember when we went to the skate party that your Alpha frat brothers hosted to raise money for Johnny’s wedding and you couldn’t skate but I made you anyway.” She laughed. “And, you fell on your ass every twenty minutes! Oh, my God that was so hilarious.”

“Yeah, and I remember taking you down with me too. Ha ha to that.”

“Yes, I remember that and for two hours we held each other’s hand and fell down together all night.” She stared deeply into my eyes as her smile slowly disappeared. “I missed you, Chino.”

“I missed you too lady. I think that all the fun was stripped from my life once we graduated and went on to live our adult lives.”

“No. I mean, I missed you.”

I cleared my throat as she placed her hand on mine. “So why is a good professional woman like you still single, Ashley? I mean you have it all. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

“Wouldn’t they?” She asked smiling casually at me. “But, I just keep bumping into these losers, ya know? Not to mention all the blind dates that my friends set me up on. I swear I’m never doing another one of those.”

“Yeah…yeah. Well you’ll find a great man one day. Hey when in doubt there’s always Mario.” Secretly I hoped she would not give that serious thought as we laughed.

“Oh, yeah right. As if the class clown would ever settle down. Naw, I’m looking for a man who is just as powerful mentally and physically as I am. I need a man who knows what he wants and goes for it by any means necessary.” The determined look in her eyes sent one message. She wanted me. “If you know any men like that, give them my number, would you?"

“You were always a go-getter so I’m sure the perfect man will snatch you up in no time,” I sighed.

“Maybe. But, I have been single for four years now. I’m starting to think that I’m going to die in my big fancy office buried in paperwork.”

“Ah, now that’s comedy. You know, Ash, you haven’t changed much. All these years apart and it seems like we never skipped a beat.”

“I know right? That’s how you know its true friendship.”

We gazed into each other’s eyes as if our bodies were about to be drawn together like magnets. The feeling was there and I could have even pulled her in and slobbered her down right there on the bench in front of everyone. Our connection was stronger now than it ever was back then, even though I had the biggest crush on her. She shot me down back then so many times I can’t even count.

But sitting there it seemed like she wanted to suck me off with everyone watching just to make me hers. The way I was feeling, I probably would not have even stopped her. My hormones were beginning to rage and my dick jumped as I drifted off into the shiny essence of the pink lip-gloss accentuating her full juicy lips. She hadn’t changed a bit.

They were moving, her lips, and I could not hear a single word that emanated from them. Her warm thick thighs ran through my mind. My thoughts drowned out any and all sound around me. The clanking of the weights against themselves, the people talking, including her voice all went silent, allowing me to concentrate on her physical. Sex. On the outside, I seemed normal but on the inside I could hear my breathing as if it were booming out of a concert sound system.

Her cocoa brown eyes were staring at me like she knew exactly what I was thinking and she did not want to dare interrupt it. Her hand felt like silk in my mine as my dick jumped multiple times simply thinking about it. Ashley tilted her head and with her other hand reached up to gently scrape something off of my cheek, her lips still in motion and all I heard was silence.

“Chino? Chino?”

“Huh? What? Oh, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“Where were you, Chino? Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, no I’m cool. I’m sorry what did you say again?”

“I asked if you wanted to get out of here and grab a bite or maybe a drink. I’m not really trying to get my workout on right now. I need to dedicate my full attention to it when I’m doing it and with you here I know that’s not going to happen.”

“Oh, ok. Yeah, that’s cool. You’re serious about that drink aren’t you?”

“Chino, with my work load you need to have a drink for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Shit, you damn near should have it for your snacks too. But, a little cocktail with breakfast never hurt anyone.” She winked.

“Sheesh.”

“Okay, we can make it a pair of screwdrivers. That’s nothing but a little vodka with orange juice so at least its still breakfast like, Chino.”

“Vodka at 10am in the morning? It’s college all over again.”

“Hey Mr. Man if you can’t hang then—“

“Hey if you can hang, I’m down.”

“Well alright then let’s go sugar.”

We laughed as we departed to our separate locker rooms to retrieve our belongings. I saw a tall lanky figure jog across the gym towards me and automatically knew who it was. Mario could not wait to get me alone so he could drill me on what we talked about. He raced to the back following up behind me. I shook my head letting him know that we just caught up on old times. Nothing sexual was even uttered. Not that it wasn’t secretly being thought about, at least on my end.