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He waited an hour for Sandra to sleep off the sedation she'd had for the procedure, then told her, 'I'll have a result from the needle test by tomorrow and the biopsy result will take until Monday night to come though, but there's no doubt,' he explained quietly. 'Dr Ryan's going to organise an urgent CT scan of your abdomen, including your liver, for Monday and I'd like to operate on Tuesday.'

'Tuesday?' Mr Corby looked appalled, but his wife seemed more matter-of-fact.

'Tuesday's fine,' she said huskily. 'Thank you. I just want this out. When do I come in?'

'Sunday afternoon.'

'How long will I be an inpatient?'

'Up to ten days.'

'What about side-effects?' her husband blustered. 'What can go wrong with the operation? What about the anaesthetic? You can die under the anaesthetic, you know, even if the operation's a success. How can you be sure this is cancer? Shouldn't you wait for the results? We've got a good GP. He was sure this was irritable bowel. He could still be right, couldn't he?'

Beside her, Merrin felt Neil prepare to address the man' s concerns, but their patient stopped him. 'Shut up, Bill.' She rested a hand on his knee. 'Neither of us really wants to hear about side-effects. I trust you, Professor McAlister. Are you offering a cure?'

'There's a very good chance,' Neil said calmly. 'I'll be able to tell you more after the scan.'

After clinic and the ward round Merrin went up with him to his office, helping to carry the notes both from his clinic and the one Douglas and Lindsay had conducted in the rooms next to his under his supervision.

Both his secretaries were gone but he still shut the door, before hauling her into his arms and kissing her thoroughly.

But when he lifted his head she saw the preoccupied concern that flashed across his face as he surveyed the work stacked on his desk before he came back to her.

'You can't come back tonight,' he said roughly. 'I must work and I'm meeting someone from the college for dinner.' He kissed her again then put her away from him. 'And we're on call tomorrow so that's out. If I can get enough work done tonight I can free up a few days. Spend the weekend with me?'

'Of course.' It amazed her that he still doubted her availability. 'Do you want help with these summaries?'

'That's not a good idea.' His smile was wry and one hand rose deliberately to her nipple. 'With your sort of help they'll still be here in the morning,' he said heavily. 'You're exquisite. Do you want to go away?'

'At the weekend?' She'd been staring at his hand as it caressed her, mesmerised by the slow movement and the delicate brush of sensation across her skin, but now she looked up again, blinking her surprise. 'No. Not at all. Do you?'

'I don't care. I thought you hated the apartment.'

'That doesn't matter.' She lifted herself so her breast rose fully into his palm. 'I'm not there to look at it. Shall I take off my dress?'

His hand curled around her. 'I have to leave for dinner in thirty minutes.'

'Plenty of time,' she whispered, beginning to unbutton him. 'Who are you meeting for dinner?' she asked, making conversation while she undressed him. 'Will he mind if you're crumpled?'

'She. No. I doubt she'd mind.' He had her white coat off and her dress undone now and he took her arms and spread them apart and simply looked at her.

'She?' Merrin tensed, remembering something. 'Laura?'

'Yes.' He looked up sharply. 'Laura Ensor. How do you know that? Do you know her?'

'I overheard you last week, making arrangements to meet her.'

'It's business.'

'You don't have to say that if it's not true.' She didn't look away. 'You don't have to pretend with me. If it's a personal date you can tell me. It won't change the way I feel. I don't expect to be the only woman you find attractive.'

His stare turned hard. He released her arms. 'Do you want other men?'

Suddenly self-conscious, Merrin pulled her dress together. 'Of course not.'

'But if I want other women then that's OK with you?'

'It's not OK but I'll understand.' She felt cold. 'I won't object.'

For a long time he just looked at her, his regard slowly turning more aggressive, then finally, when the quiet had almost become unbearable, he said brutally, 'Stop being so bloody self-sacrificing, Merrin.' He pulled himself away from her and crossed abruptly to the window, looking out rather than back towards her. 'You're making it worse,' he rasped. 'Go. There's no time now. I have to work.'

Friday wasn't busy but she barely saw him. She went to clinic in the afternoon but rather grimly he told her to sit in with Douglas. Casualty was quiet and the people who did come to the hospital with surgical problems didn't need hospital admission.

On Saturday morning she went to Orange at the normal time—as they'd been on call overnight Lindsay had explained that they'd do a morning ward round—but Lindsay and Douglas drifted in an hour later, and Lindsay looked at her a bit strangely when she said she hadn't realised they were starting later than usual.

'But I told you twice,' the SHO said. 'Including last thing last night. Don't you remember?'

'No.' Merrin blinked at her.

'I also told you to meet us downstairs for breakfast,' Leslie reminded her. 'Remember? Hash browns and bacon and egg McMuffins?'

'Really?' Merrin didn't remember that at all.

'I gave you a discount coupon,' Lindsay protested. 'They were giving them out in Casualty last night. Look in your pocket.'

She did and it was there and she stared at it, amazed.

Douglas scowled. 'Sounds to me like her mind's just not on the job the way it used to be.' He pointedly returned the sharp look Merrin sent him. 'What's up, Merrin? Found something more interesting to think about?'

Lindsay, obviously bewildered by the looks the two doctors exchanged, said, 'Hey, you two. What's going on?'

'Wise up, Lindsay.' Douglas still watched Merrin. 'You're way behind the action.'

'And you're right up with it, are you, Douglas?' Neil said coldly.

Both Douglas and Merrin spun around and Merrin could see that Douglas looked as shocked as she was that he'd overheard them. Lindsay, though, still clearly didn't understand anything. 'What action?' she demanded. 'What's going on? What am I missing out on?'

'Nothing.' Douglas looked as acutely uncomfortable as Merrin felt. 'It's nothing. I was only teasing Merrin.'

'Was that what it was, Doug?' Neil looked sceptical. 'Sounded to me like you were sizing up your chances.'

'It's a free world.' Merrin saw that the registrar was beginning to look nervous, but his tone was defensive. 'She's a lovely girl. Do you blame me?'

'Stop it,' Merrin said sharply to both of them, not understanding everything that'' was going on but sensing enough to know it was dangerous. 'This is ridiculous.'

But Neil ignored her, the indolent way he leaned against
the frame of the door at variance with the hard way he stared down the younger man. 'Don't even try,' he grated.

'Shouldn't you let Merrin decide that?'

'I make the decisions around here.'

'You're pulling rank, Prof?' Douglas smiled a little. 'That's hardly fair.'

'Who said this was going to be fair?'

'That's enough.' Merrin felt sick. Douglas had never said or done anything to suggest that he was anything other than indifferent to her physically and she still didn't believe that he wasn't. She didn't understand why he was doing this and she hated seeing the two men at odds when they normally got on so well. 'Douglas, this has nothing to do with you. Stay out of it.'

'Good advice,' Neil said forcefully. 'Get the notes, Merrin. Lindsay, bring the X-rays. Douglas, keep your mouth shut. Move.'

Behind her, as they hurried along the ward after him, Merrin heard Lindsay hiss something to Douglas, asking what that had all been about.

'God, you're thick,' Douglas whispered back. 'Open your eyes. You're a great doctor, Lindsay, but you can be as thick as two bricks about real life.'

The round didn't go well. Neil was terse and impatient, Merrin was nervous and kept forgetting things, Douglas seemed intent on doing his best to antagonise his consultant and Lindsay spent the entire time looking bewildered and trying to corner Merrin who was determined not to be cornered.

After the round Merrin was half expecting Douglas, in his current mood, to try and provoke another confrontation, but to her surprise the registrar made a quick exit. 'See you Monday,' he muttered, grabbing his briefcase. 'Come on, Lindsay. Hurry up.'

'But...coffee?' Lindsay still looked bewildered but the registrar-dragged her away.

'Not today,' Douglas said tensely, hurrying her out of the door and leaving Merrin alone in Orange Ward's office with Neil.

'What on earth was that all about?' Merrin burst out, slamming the door shut behind them. 'That was completely insane. Douglas is not remotely interested in me. How could you assume something so ridiculous?'

'You underestimate your appeal,' he said tightly. He folded his arms, regarding her coolly from where he lounged against the edge of the registrar's desk. 'He's a man, isn't he? He's interested in anything he can get.'

'He lives with someone.'

'You think that makes any difference?'

'He talks about her,' she insisted. 'A lot. They're thinking about having a baby.'

'My question stands.'

'Of course it makes a difference,' she snapped. 'Think about it yourself. You wouldn't have looked twice at me when your wife was alive.'

'I'd have looked at you, Merrin.' His expression was unreadable. 'I might not have touched you but I'd have looked at you.'

'I don't believe you.' She leaned back against the door, her legs beginning to weaken. 'Why bother lying to me? You're not like that. You loved your wife too much to ever look at anyone else.'

'You don't know anything.'

'You're an honourable man. You have a strong sense of integrity.'

'Not strong enough to stop me screwing you.'

'Don't!' Appalled, she stared at him. 'Don't put it like that. Please. I...I begged you to do that. You know you wouldn't have otherwise. If you were married it wouldn't have happened.'

'Why are you so sure?'

'I understand how much you loved her, how much you still love her,' she said huskily. 'I can tell from how you grieve for her.'

He'd settled back against his desk and folded his arms and now he inclined his head, his eyes narrowing. 'And how exactly is that?'

She held herself stiffly, sensing his withdrawal from her yet not understanding. 'No music for two years. Leaving the apartment like some sort of mausoleum because that's how she liked it. No photographs because you can't bear to look at her. Working yourself to death the way you do. We all see it, Neil. That's grieving. Intense, prolonged grieving. Did you think no one realised?'

When he still didn't say anything, when he kept watching her in that cool, assessing way, she said quietly, 'And I don't mind. I understand and I don't mind. I know I can't compete with her and that's all right. The irony is that just knowing that you can love like that makes me love you even more.'

'Don't, Merrin.' The lift of his hand silenced her. 'Don't talk like that. You think you understand but you don't.' His gaze dropped to her mouth and she felt it beginning to swell. 'You don't understand anything. But, believe me, your timing's exquisite. Come here.'

When she did he went straight for her mouth, ravishing it like a man starving for her until she was breathless and hot and utterly aroused.

She carried his hands to her breasts but he pulled back. 'Not here. I'm taking you home.'

'I've packed some clothes,' she said, still breathing fast. 'My bag's in my room. It'll just take me a minute to fetch it.'

'You don't need clothes,' Neil growled. 'You won't be wearing any.'

For Merrin, the weekend turned into the most blissful two days of her life. They made love until she was exhausted then he let her sleep and when they woke they made love again. Time ceased to matter yet every second was precious. When they were hungry he ordered food and when they bathed they washed each other. She didn't need clothes. She didn't need anything but him.

By the end of the following week she'd moved most of her belongings to his home—since he took her there every night she wasn't on call it seemed silly to have to run to her room every morning to change clothes. Her life was full of joy. She loved the world, she loved her work, she loved him, and for now she had him.

Without discussion he seemed to have created a rule that they weren't to touch at work. There, it was as if a blind came down behind his eyes, concealing her passionate lover from the surgeon she worked for. She decided that it must be because he didn't want anyone to know about them, but she didn't ask him directly.

During working hours he treated her, she thought, exactly as he did Lindsay. But although the SHO still obviously had no idea about their relationship, Douglas's sporadic barbed observations made it plain that he knew exactly what was going on.

For Merrin, the deteriorating relationship between the two men was a sour note in her otherwise joyous days. The easy-going,, understated respect and understanding which had underpinned the professional relationship between Douglas and Neil had evaporated. They worked together but the easy communication had gone. Neil was terse, often impatient with the younger man, and Douglas seemed resentful and cynical.

She didn't understand it. If Douglas had liked her in any personal way then it might have made sense, but he didn't. Not like that. She was sure of it.

The following Tuesday on call was busier than any night in the previous month and they were all up most of the night. Since the Wednesday morning clinic was overbooked and scheduled to start thirty minutes earlier than normal, Neil's round moved so fast and they had so many patients, some of whom she was still to meet, that Merrin struggled to keep track of what was happening.

It didn't help that she kept being bleeped away by other wards asking questions about patients they'd seen earlier, or that Lindsay and Douglas were being bleeped as well so that none of them had any chance to establish any continuity.