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'Yes.' She swallowed heavily, breathing fast, her head spinning. 'But I don't understand why.'

'I don't want you to understand why.' His hand came up to cover the mouth he'd just tasted. 'I want you to obey.'

'You're the boss,' she said weakly.

'I am.' He smiled. 'Remember that.'

It can't have taken long, his kiss and that discussion, because neither of the other two even blinked when they caught up with them at the washing area outside the unit.

One of the ICU registrars hurried across when the Prof walked in ahead of them, and Merrin vaguely registered that there was general agreement that Mrs Becham had had a good night and was ready to be transferred to Orange.

'Haemoglobin stable at eleven this morning,' the registrar said. 'Her clotting's within normal limits. We've kept up the cefuroxime and metronidazole since she didn't have any pre-op bowel prep,' he said, referring to two antibiotics. 'Minimal amounts in the drains.'

'They've kept a bed for her upstairs so she can go up whenever you're ready,' the Prof told him. 'Anything else I should know about?'

'Two other cases,' the registrar said, and the pair moved away towards one of the side-rooms, although Douglas, Lindsay and Merrin remained where they were until their consultant came back.

'Kids while we're on this side then up to Orange,' he said briskly. 'Let's go.'

Directly after the round the Prof and Douglas headed off to Outpatients but Lindsay was busy trying to find Mr Sanderson's team so that she could refer their admission from last night and she waved them on.

'Merrin, there's not too much for you to do today,' the SHO said once she'd finished the referral. 'The theatre cases for tomorrow won't start coming in till lunchtime.
If
you're interested you should come down to clinic again this morning.'

'Not this morning,' Merrin said firmly. 'I'm not going to make it today.'

'Why not?'

Merrin looked at her blankly. She couldn't tell Lindsay that the professor had told her to stay out of his way, but, then, she couldn't he either. 'Um...'

'It'll impress Prof,' the older doctor said earnestly. 'As far as I know, his last two house officers never bothered coming at all. I thought you enjoyed clinic on Friday?'

'I did.'

'So...?'

'I'll think about it,' Merrin said finally.

It was the best she could do but Lindsay still sent her a strange look. 'OK,' she said, with a shrug. 'Remember Doug and I are away this afternoon, doing a clinic at St Joseph's, so Prof will be on his own in clinic from one till three-thirty when he goes teaching. He might appreciate your help for an hour or two if you're free.'

Merrin was certain that he wouldn't. 'I'll remember,' she said lamely.

She was determined to stay out of his way but in the afternoon she needed his advice, and as Douglas and Lindsay were both out of the hospital she had no choice. She found him in Outpatients, obviously just finished his clinic, and he looked as if he was in a hurry.

'So those three for colonoscopy, none of them urgent, and that last one for the list next Tuesday,' he was saying to Anita, who was busy piling up the notes. 'And that's it. See you Friday.'

'Prof... ?' Merrin stepped in just as he looked about to leave, stiffening at the oddly tense gaze that swung to meet hers. 'Sorry to interrupt. May I have some advice, please?'

One hand went behind her and he guided her ahead of him out of the door. 'As long as you walk fast. I'm delivering a lecture in eight minutes and I need my notes from my office. What is it, Merrin?'

'Mrs Becham from last night's got a high temperature,' she explained, skipping to keep up. 'She's had a bit of a grumbling temperature since admission but it's now thirty-eight point five. I can't find anything, examining her, and her white count's not too high and her chest X-ray's normal and her urine's clear. I've taken blood for culture and a sample from her central line. The antibiotics she had to cover her operation are due to stop tonight and I don't know if I should be continuing them or if I should start new ones.'

'Neither without better evidence of infection. Blood in the gut can cause a fever and no doubt there's a lot still there from her bleed last night.'

'I didn't know that.' The explanation startled her. 'So it could all just be the blood?'

'Probably.' They were at the seventh floor now, Orange Ward, and he stopped. 'Do you want me to look at her?'

'No. I'm confident of my examination,' she said firmly. 'I was just worried that I might be missing something because I didn't understand the reason for her fever. Thanks, Prof.'

'I might be late back. You don't have to stay around for my round.'

'Are you saying I don't have to? Or are you saying that you don't want me to?'

'That you don't have to.'

Her mouth dried. 'Does that mean that I'm not under orders to stay away from you any more?'

'It can mean anything you want it to mean.' He was already moving away. 'And you can call me Neil.'

'Neil.' She said his name experimentally, liking the way it sounded on her tongue. 'OK, Prof,' she called, grinning at his impatient expression when he turned around at the next floor. 'Thanks.'

He wasn't as late as she'd thought he might be because it was only just after six when he came into the office on Orange where she was writing discharge letters. 'Douglas or Lindsay back?'

'I think they've probably gone straight home from St Joseph's,' she said huskily, pushing back the blonde strands of hair that had fallen across her face. He was in his suit rather than his white coat and he looked formal and less approachable than he'd seemed earlier. 'How was your teaching session?'

'Uneventful. Shall we see our patients?'

'Of course.' Her pulse thudding, she followed him out onto the ward. 'Toby got away all right. He's coming to see you in clinic next week.'

'Good.'

The nurse in charge for the evening joined them around Orange. 'Mrs Becham's temperature's come down a wee bit more,' she told them. 'Thirty-seven eight at six. She seems a bit brighter.'

The Professor—
Neil
—Merrin kept reminding herself— examined Mrs Becham as she'd done herself earlier, confirming that there was nothing to hear in her chest and nothing worrying in her abdominal findings. 'This temperature will settle over the next day or two,' he told Mrs Becham. 'Dr Ryan's blood tests all seem normal so there's nothing to worry about. Have you been up today?'

'For a wash,' she confirmed softly. 'I'm a bit shaky, though.'

'That's normal at first. You'll find yourself getting stronger each day. We'll see you tomorrow.'

'Goodbye, Professor. Thank you.'

He went speedily through everyone else and they finished On the children's unit. 'Both boys from last night can go onto free fluids,' she told their nurse once they'd finished the round.

'Stop IV fluids?' she asked.

'I'm not sure.' Merrin looked across to where her consultant leaned against the main desk with his hands in his pockets, apparently waiting for her, watching them enigmatically. 'IV fluids, Prof?'

'Leave the Venflons in temporarily in case they get sick but the fluids can come down.'

'Thanks.' The nurse noted down the instructions. 'I'll organise that now.'

'Light diet for breakfast,' Merrin added.

'Fine.'

'Probably home Friday.'

'Friday,' the nurse echoed, writing that down, too.

'All going well.'

'All going well.'

'Otherwise Saturday.'

The other woman looked surprised. 'Saturday?'

'But probably Friday,' Merrin added hastily. 'Unless, of course, something untoward happens—'

'I think she gets the message, Merrin.'

'I'm just making sure,' she said quickly.

'Am I making you nervous?'

'Very.'

Aware that the nurse was now looking at both of them strangely, Merrin managed a thin smile. 'Thanks,' she added. 'That's all. We'll be back in the morning.'

Merrin put away the notes then had no choice but to approach him. 'Well?'

'"Well"?' Neil tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he lifted a blonde ringlet away from the side of her face. 'What does that mean?'

'What's going on?'

'What do you think?'

'I think that you're acting very strangely,' she said unevenly. 'You've made it very plain that you don't want to have sex with me, yet this morning you kissed me—rather passionately, I thought—and tonight you're looking at me as if you want to eat me up. Naturally, I'm a little puzzled.'

'Naturally,' he said softly, the way he was watching her mouth making her lips start to feel swollen. 'And you're right about me wanting to eat you up. My office?'

'Yes,' she whispered, suddenly dizzy. 'My legs have gone weak. You might have to carry me.'

But he didn't need to. He walked behind her. He didn't touch her. He didn't talk to her and he walked silently, yet she could feel him behind her every step of the way across the frosty grass and up the stairs to the sixth floor and all the way to his office.

Once inside he didn't turn oh the lights, but instead simply pushed the door shut behind them and took her into his arms, his mouth demanding and passionate on hers as he pressed her back into the darkness against the wall.

'I love you,' she whispered, opening her mouth, loving his taste, intoxicated by die hard urgency of their embrace. 'Make love to me.'

'Take this off.' He had her white coat off her shoulders before she knew what he was doing.

'Yes.' She pulled open her blouse, exposing her breasts. 'This, too,' she demanded, pushing away his jacket and fumbling at the buttons of his shirt. 'I love you. I love you.'

'Stop saying that.' His hands on her shoulders gripped her hard as he pulled away. 'Stop it, Merrin. It's not true.'

'It doesn't matter.' She didn't care. She just wanted him. 'What changed your mind?'

'You.' He carried her to his desk and lifted her skirt, bunching the fabric high at her thighs. 'I've hardly thought about sex in years but since you...well, since you came home with me Friday it's been as if I'm obsessed. And after last night...' His mouth went tight. 'We both know I shouldn't be doing this but I can't not. You're so beautiful.'

'I'm very plain,' she protested, stroking his face. 'You're beautiful.' She buried her face in the warmth of his chest, tasting him, her fingers lowering to the fastening of his pants. 'I want this so much. Please.' He was at her breasts but she pushed him away, needing him to undo himself, frustrated that she hadn't been able to. 'Help me. I want to do this quickly.'

'You're taking something?'

It was more statement than question but she had to shake her head. 'Haven't you got anything?'

'No.' He'd gone still. 'I didn't plan this. I didn't think—'

'It's all right,' she told him urgently. 'It doesn't matter. It's an OK time for me. I can't get pregnant.'

'How can you be sure?'

Dismayed by his appalled expression and the suddenness of his withdrawal, she reached for him. 'It's all right,' she repeated. 'I know myself. I promise it's safe.'

'How safe?'

'Twenty-four hours,' she admitted. 'More than that I can't guarantee.'

'Merrin, that's not enough.'

'I know.' Frustrated now, her legs still spread, she braced herself on her arms behind her and tipped her head back, her eyes closing. 'I know,' she repeated, weakly now. 'You're right. Oh...damn. Now you've got time to think about it you'll change your mind again.'

'Hardly.' Sighing, he switched on his desk lamp then subsided into his chair, sliding it in closer to her so that he was between her thighs, his head against her breasts as he lifted her forward. 'But we can't do this without taking care. Come home with me?'

'Of course.' She stroked his hair, puzzled that he thought he needed to ask. 'I'll go anywhere with you. You know that. I am yours. Utterly. To do with what you will.'

'You shouldn't say things like that.'

'But they're true.'

'You go to my head,' he murmured, suckling her breasts. She saw that he was still aroused. 'You're like icy vodka straight into my veins.'

'I'm not icy,' she whispered. 'I'm burning up. Feel me. I'm hot. Since meeting you I've spent most of my days in a permanent sweat.'

His hands went around to her buttocks beneath her skirt and he pulled her hard off the desk and into him so her thighs were splayed across his. 'I'm not going to be good for you,' he said tightly.

'I don't care.'

'You're too giving, Merrin. You know nothing about me. You don't know what you're letting yourself in for.'

'Last night was the most incredible experience of my life,' she said huskily. 'If that's what you're offering me then I want it.'

'For how long?'

'For as long as you want me.'

'And then?'

'And then I'll leave you in peace.' She guided his head back to her breast. 'I know it won't last. That's all right.' She arched into him when he sucked gently at her puckered skin. 'It feels too good. I can cope with anything but you stopping now.'

He did stop. But only to dress her and take her, via a short stop at a pharmacy, to his home. They made love urgently on the floor just inside the door of the apartment, then on his bed and then in the bathroom where he'd taken her to bathe her.

'You're insatiable,' she whispered, as she lay in the warm bath against him, loving the quickening of his breath as he slid one hand up to rub at one soapy breast.

'Do you mind?'

'No.' The water was deep and she let herself float against him, teasing him. 'Never. I love you.'

'I'm not going to be able to stop you saying that.' His heavy murmur was more a statement than a question and she shook her head.

'Not while it's true,' she conceded. 'But don't worry. You don't have to listen.'

'I do.' He slid his hands between her legs. 'I have to. It excites me.'

'I love you. I love you. I love you.' Laughing, she swam around and straddled him, rocking against him, careless of the water that surged over the rim of the bath onto the carpet below. 'I love you.'