Unmatchable (21 page)

“
What's on your agenda for the day?”

Tension takes over me at the thought that he might be trying to kick me out. I'm not sure why it's there. Obviously, I'm not his entire life, but I secretly want to be.

“
A whole lot of nothing. What about you?”

“
I promised some associates I'd meet them for a round of golf today.”

“
I guess I should get going then.” I stand, preparing to show myself out.

Colton grabs me by the hand, pulling me down onto his lap. It makes me feel wanted, taking some of my stress away.

“
You don't have to run off just yet.” He wraps his arms around me like he never wants to let me go.

“
I don't want to make you late for your game. I see you're all dressed and ready to go.” I tug at the collar of his polo shirt.

“
At least stay and have breakfast first.”

“
Are you going to make it?”

“
I was.” He nods.

“
Then I think I'll pass. No offense.”

He laughs. “I suppose I can't blame you. Believe it or not, though, I do know how to make cereal.”

“
And here I thought you were going to try to cook me a five-star meal.” I'm relieved that he had never planned to cook in the first place.

“
I think we both know that cooking isn't my forte.”

“
No, it is not.”

“
I can put together a mean bowl of raisin bran, though. Or are you the type of girl who likes cereals with the little sugary marshmallows in them?”

“
Sugary marshmallows for the win.”

On the rare occasion that I do eat cereal, it's always the worst cereal for you possible. If it doesn't have chocolate, marshmallows, or artificial fruit flavoring, I typically won't buy it. Everything else just tastes flavorless and bland to me, probably because I grew up on generic bran flakes because my mother thought that giving us sugar turned us into annoying brats.

“
Then I'm afraid I have nothing for you, my dear.” He shakes his head solemnly. “I mean, I suppose I could just load your raisin bran with sugar, but that's not quite the same, is it?”

“
No. It's not.”

“
Or we could go out for breakfast.” He pats my bottom.

“
I don't want to consume too much of your time today.”

“
Nonsense. I like spending time with you. I like spending time with you so much that I think you should come stay the night with me again.”

“
Next weekend, right?”

“
No. Tonight.” He looks at me like the answer should have been obvious.

I grin and cup his cheek before giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. “You are so unbelievably sweet.”

“
Nope. You're just imagining things.” He gazes up at the sky teasingly.

I roll my eyes at him. “Learn to take a compliment.”

“
Ohhh, it sounds like Ember needs her sugary cereal or else she gets grumpy.”

“
Jerkface.” I push him. “I'm always pleasant.”

“
Says the woman who is nicknamed 'The Beast.'”

“
Hey! That is a work thing only.” I point at him.

He grabs my finger and uses it to pull me against him. “Mmm, that's okay. I like 'The Beast'. I like trying to tame her.”

“
You're something else.”

“
Something you like, I hope.”

“
Something I like a lot.” I smile brighter than the sun.

We drive to a little Mexican restaurant a few blocks away. Colton orders eggs ranchero, and I order pancakes. It's the next best thing to sugary cereal. We eat and talk and enjoy our morning like a perfect, happy couple. Things couldn't be going any better.

When we finally part ways, I feel a sense of loss. It's something I've felt before, but it seems to be getting deeper the more that my feelings for Colton grow. This time, though, it does not come with a sense of vulnerability attached. I trust Colton now—know that he's in this for the long haul...or for however long it goes. It's comforting having someone there for me. A feeling I haven't known for a while.

CHAPTER TWELVE

COLTON

Golf is boring, and my game definitely isn't improved by the fact that I can't seem to stop thinking about Ember. Every time I close my eyes, I see her kneeling before me on my balcony, her little pink tongue swirling around the tip of my cock. Talking about business only offers a temporary distraction. It's a bit disconcerting to realize that I'm absolutely obsessed with this girl. It is what it is, though. Ever since Ember walked into my life—or rather, ever since I came into her office posing as a stuck-up asshole—I haven't been able to get her out of my head. The fact that I haven't felt this way about anyone since Nina scares me. Things seem to be moving at lightning speed for us, but I'm oddly comfortable with it. Anyone else, I'd be trying to get away from by now. But Ember is so intriguing. She's strong and sweet and more sensual than she gives herself credit for. Way more sensual than she gives herself credit for.

I was awake long before her cell phone went off this morning, just lying there staring at her like some creeper. My dick was so hard from wanting her that I was worried I'd have to take care of it myself. That alarm going off was a blessing—gave me an excuse to pounce on her.

I'm happy that she's more receptive to me now that we've gotten over the initial first-time sex hump. Where there was fear and apprehension in her face before, last night there was only desire. And damn was she beautiful when she looked at me with those big brown hooded eyes of hers.

I can't wait to have her again tonight. Can't wait to see her looking at me like that again.

My golf game can't be over quickly enough. As soon as I throw my golf bag in the back of my Benz and climb into the driver's side, I find myself pulling out my phone to text Ember.

Colton: Getting a hole in one on the course isn't nearly as fun as getting a hole in one with you.

Ember: Is your mind ever not in the gutter?

Colton: I think it was born there.

Ember: And never moved out.

Colton: Are you calling me immature?

I smirk, wondering what her reaction will be.

Ember: If the shoe fits.

Colton: ~gasp~ I'm wounded.

Ember: I highly doubt that.

Colton: You know me so well. Lol

Ember: I suppose that I do.

Colton: Do you know what I'm thinking right now?

Ember: That you want to be inside of me.

Colton: Yes and no.

Ember: Yes and no? Now I'm the one who is shocked.

Colton: I don't think about sex all of the time. Just most of the time.

Ember: So what were you thinking?

Colton: That you should come over again.

Ember: I'm coming over tonight, remember.

Colton: I meant right now. I just finished up my golf game.

Ember: Damn, Larsen. You just can't seem to get enough of me, can you?

Colton: Is that a bad thing?

Ember: No. It's not.

Colton: Then come over. Or I can pick you up and we can go out to lunch.

Ember: Can't. I have lunch plans already.

Jealousy surges through me, though I know it's unmerited.

Colton: With whom?

Ember: With a friend that's in town.

Colton: We could all go to lunch together.

Ember: Thanks, but I'd rather not. We have unsettled business. A third party would just make saying what I need to say awkward.

Colton: I understand. I'll still see you tonight, though, right?

Ember: Yeah. I'll come over after I have lunch and change.

Colton: Maybe I could pick you up for dinner instead.

I try my best not to seem desperate to see her. More than likely, she's going to need a little space after she visits with her friend, especially if it's the one who knows her brother.

Ember: That sounds good.

Colton: I'll pick you up at 6:30 then.

Ember: 6:30 will be fine. See you then.

With nothing better to do, I drive home and work on figuring out where to take Ember for dinner. After selecting a restaurant, I sit in front of the television for a while. My mind isn't really into what's on. I'm still thinking about Ember. Not about the heated sex and romantic evenings that we've shared, but about what's going on in her life right now.

I wasn't lying when I said I'd kick her brother's ass if she wanted me to. Anyone who would do that to another person, related or not, deserves a good ass kicking. The guy sounds like the lowest of the low, and I can understand why Ember doesn't want to see him again. To be honest, I'm not sure I could forgive someone like that. The fact that she's even giving it a second thought speaks volumes about her character.

There's no doubt in my mind that this is going to weigh on her until she either confronts him or he leaves town. Even if she does confront him, it might continue to weigh on her for a while. This is some heavy shit, after all, dealing with your demons.

Now it's my job to step up and be the man she needs me to be. I'll have to exercise patience and compassion. Be a listener as well as a lover. Give her advice wherever she needs it. I know it won't be easy all of the time, but she's definitely worth it.

If we're going to be together—truly be together—then this will be the first of many trials that we face as a couple. Staying by her side will mean that I'm invested. I am invested.

Hopefully, we can handle this, and she comes out of the other side unscathed. Hopefully, she doesn't allow her demons to drag us to hell.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

EMBER

When Alex asked me if I'd go to lunch with him, I was reluctant to agree. I had a feeling, though, that if I said no I might never hear from him again, and I definitely did not want that.

While I'm not ready to face my brother, I can still talk to Alex and get out the apology that he deserves. Despite the fact that it's a very small part of my trauma, perhaps it will help me to heal some. At the very least, it will take away a bit of my guilt.

Instead of meeting somewhere fancy, we go to Taco Bell. Even though we're far away from North Carolina, there's a twinge of nostalgia in being here with him. It's one of the very few restaurants I went to growing up. Whenever Alex had some extra pocket change, he'd take me to get a taco or we'd split an order of nachos. It was a luxury back then. Today, I can afford much better. And while the memory is one of the few fond ones I have from my life in Salisbury, I've still avoided eating inside of a Taco Bell for fear that it would trigger unpleasant memories—the ones that were the befores and afters of how we actually ended up at Taco Bell in the first place.

I stand behind Alex in line, trying my best not to ogle him as he reads the menu like he doesn't know it by heart. His hands are in the pockets of his khakis, his forearms and biceps are lined with muscle. The pinstripe shirt he's wearing hugs his shoulders and back. I can almost see the definition beneath it.

When he glances over his shoulder and grins at me before telling me that he's going to order for both of us, I melt a little inside. Not surprisingly, he gets a nacho supreme and a crispy beef taco with two glasses of water. Our old faithful. Memory lane all over again.

We settle into a corner booth away from everyone else, and I stare at the nacho supreme in all of its unhealthy glory, apprehensive to dig in. I know he ordered the taco for me, but I don't want to go for it either. It feels like he's trying to replicate old times, but these aren't old times. We're different people, and I don't need him to comfort me anymore. Don't need this.

“
So tell me what's been going on with you these past three years.” He tears open a packet of hot sauce with his teeth and squeezes it out onto his half of the nachos. I cringe the same as I used to when I watched him do it many years ago. I've never liked Taco Bell hot sauce.

“
Starting over. That's the shortest way to sum it up.”

“
Dig in.” He gestures to the food.

Hesitantly, I pull a nacho from beneath a mountain of orange cheese. What little meat is on top falls off in a glob. I frown at the loss, but don't go back to retrieve it.

“
What's the long version.” He pushes the taco toward me.

“
The long version,” I sigh, trying to figure out what to disclose and what to avoid. “Well, after I got here, I went to the library and used the computer there to find someone to let me move in with them. I figured that not having my name on the lease would make it difficult to track me down. Then I got a job, saved up money, and moved out on my own. Eventually, I bought a car. There's really not much else to tell.”

“
What made you come here?”

“
It was unexpected. Naturally, I had originally thought to go to New York, but that would have been too obvious.” Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of moving to New York. The bustling city and all of its possibilities has always excited me. It was too risky, though, moving somewhere that I've obviously always wanted to be.

“
So all of this was to cover your tracks?”

“
Pretty much.” I nod.

“
The hair and eyes too? I must admit, when you first opened the door to me, I wasn't sure I had the right place. But then I remembered your face.” He smiles.

My hand instinctively reaches up to tug at my red hair. That was the first thing I changed whenever I moved to Houston. Day one. The second I was settled into my new apartment, I walked down to the CVS on the corner to buy a box of red hair dye and a pair of scissors. My fear of being found made me change my appearance entirely. Not only did I cover up the blonde, but I also cut my hair short for the first time ever. It was a hideous butchering, and my roommate was nice enough to fix it for me. For the first year that I was in Houston, I looked more like a boy than a girl.

Not satisfied with just my hair being different, I also bought colored contact lenses as soon as I could afford them. I wanted there to be no chance that someone would recognize me on the street. The fact that I had no family or friends in Houston didn't matter. It gave me peace of mind to know that I looked nothing like myself.

After I became more comfortable with the idea that I wasn't going to be found, I decided to grow my hair out again. I kept it colored red and the brown contacts, though, ever afraid to change back completely. The world can be smaller than we think sometimes, and I didn't want to take any chances. Three years later, I still feel that way. I suppose it doesn't matter anymore.

When you build a new life somewhere, you eventually start leaving breadcrumbs. In the beginning, I was determined not to have my name on any records or documentation. But after a while, I became ready to separate my life from everyone else around me, and that led to a paper trail. It's unavoidable when you decide to establish yourself. Get your own phone. Rent your own apartment. Buy your own car. All in the same city.

“
I suppose I could change it now if I wanted to.” I let the strands fall from my fingers. “I do like the red, though.”

“
Red looks good on you. I'm not crazy about the contacts, though. Are they prescription?”

“
No.” I shake my head.

“
Take them out, then. I want to look into your real eyes.”

The way he says it makes me feel strange. My cheeks heat up, but I don't think that I actually blush.

Hesitantly, I raise my hands to my face and pinch the contacts out of my eyes before folding them up in a napkin. Taking them out and not immediately putting them in solution will ruin them, but it doesn't really matter. They're cheap, and I have a backup pair at home.

“
That's better.” Alex's head sways back and forth as if he's taking in each eye individually. “That's closer to the girl I remember.”

Girl.
I'm not a girl anymore. I'm a woman grown. And this is all an illusion, I think as I look around the busy restaurant before my gaze settles back on Alex.

“
I'm not the girl that you remember,” I tell him. “I'm stronger. Not who I used to be.”

“
A change of environment and the passing of years has a tendency to change a person,” he agrees.

“
And what about you? Who have you become?”

“
You make that sound bad,” he laughs.

“
You're hanging out with my brother now.” I tilt my head to the side. “I can't say if that makes you better or worse.”

He gives me an earnest look. “I haven't changed, Ember. He has.”

“
I want to believe that. I really do.”

“
Then you should see for yourself.”

“
I'm not ready yet.” I grab the taco and peel the wrapper away before taking a bite. The juices and spices that fill my mouth make me moan. “I forgot just how good these things are.”

“
I take it you don't eat a lot of junk food these days.”

“
I do. It's just been a while since I've had Taco Bell.”

“
That's probably a good thing.”

“
You never answered my question, though. What have you been up to these past few years? Surely, something interesting has happened.”

“
Nothing as interesting as this.” He gestures around, but I know he's talking about my big life change and not the restaurant.

“
Nonsense. You travel around the country for a living now. That's exciting.”

“
Not as exciting as you would think.” He screws his face.

“
I'm sure it is. You've always wanted to travel.”

“
I have, but traveling for work is different than traveling for pleasure. It's not exactly a vacation. Most days, I'm too tired to go out and do any site seeing. I pretty much just stay in my hotel room and watch television. Now that I think about it, it's not much different from being at home.”

“
Of course, it is,” I say softly.

Unlike me, Alex did not come from a broken home. Though both of his parents worked all of the time, he had a loving family. His parents did the best they could, but they still lived in poverty. Judging from how well Alex dresses now, he managed to escape that.

“
How is your family?” I ask.

“
They're good. Working themselves to the bone as usual. My mom got diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year, but all they had to do to get rid of it was remove her ovaries. She didn't have to do chemo or radiation or anything.”

“
I'm sorry to hear that.” I give him a sympathetic look.

His mother is a sweet lady. While she wasn't around much, the few times I did see her, she was always kind to me. And she did her best to be a good mother and wife. Most of my memories of her involve her cooking or cleaning. She was always a busy woman. The thought of anything bad happening to her makes me sad.

“
It could have been worse.”

“
It can always be worse.” For the briefest of moments, I think about the nightmare that was my previous life, but then I push those thoughts away. “And it can always be better, too.”

“
It can be. It looks like it got better for you.” He grins at me warmly.

“
It did.” I nod.

“
So, how exactly did you manage to escape? From what I heard, one day you were there and the next you were gone. I mean, your parents eventually figured out that you got your college money from your grandmother and used that to get away. But did you hitchhike? Take a bus? I'm just curious.

“
To be honest, I was shocked. I remember you had always talked about wanting to leave. You even tried running away that one time. Remember? After school that one day. I was going to come with you. You know, if you would have asked me, I still would have come with you.” He bends slightly to catch my attention.

The first tendril of guilt wraps around my heart. I know he's not lying. If I had asked him to come, he would have. But I was in such a hurry that I couldn't chance getting caught. It felt like my only real opportunity to leave, and one wrong move would have ripped it away from me. I couldn't allow that to happen.

I take a deep breath before saying the words that I know need to be said for me to feel better. “I'm sorry, Alex. I truly am. I never meant to leave you like that.”

The mood shifts. A muscle in Alex's jaw twitches and he leans back. “Then why did you?”

I can't even look at him as I explain things. I don't want to see the hurt on his face. “I didn't want to take the chance of someone finding out I was leaving. If your parents had been home, or...I don't know. I was worried about so many things. My body was running on pure adrenaline. All I could think about was getting away. Nothing else mattered.”

“
Did you think I was going to slow you down or try to convince you not to go?”

“
No.” I furrow my brow. “I know you wouldn't have tried to convince me not to leave. I know you would have been there for me—done whatever I asked. I was just...selfish, I guess.”

He sighs. “It really hurt, you know, finding out you had gone without me. This probably isn't going to make you feel any better, but I think I was the only one who looked for you. Your parents had just assumed you had gone off with someone for a few nights. Part of me had hoped that was true, but as soon as I found out you had taken your college money, I knew you weren't coming back. Even after that, I had hoped you'd reach out to me. I thought that I meant that much to you, at least. I guess I was wrong.”

Empathy is kicking in full force. I can feel the pain radiating from him, and it makes me want to cry. I want to reach across the table and take his hands into mine, but I know it's the wrong move. He doesn't want me touching him right now. And he just seems distant on so many levels.

“
You were my world, Alex. My everything. Do you know how hard it was to leave you behind?”

“
You never even looked back, Ember,” anger seeps into his voice.

“
I was scared.”

“
Of what?” He looks at me incredulously.

“
Of something going wrong. Of being pulled back into that nightmare again. Do you have any idea how it feels to be woken up in the middle of the night by a bunch of strange guys because your brother promised them they could fuck you? Or having your face slammed into a glass door because your father came home drunk or angry? Or having to piss in your backyard because one of the bathrooms in your house is broken and the other is occupied by your mother who has locked herself in there all damn day because she's tweaking too hard and is scared of the imaginary gnomes lurking outside?” Tears sear down my cheeks as the memories come back to me like punches to the gut. “My life was hell, Alex. Hell! And if I had to sacrifice the one person who gave me a few hours of solace every day for a life of peace, then God dammit it, I don't regret it.