Unmatchable (25 page)

It's not until the doorbell rings a second time that I'm able to pull myself off of the sofa to answer it. My legs feel like spaghetti noodles as the weight of the situation makes me all kinds of unstable. I'm so busy trying to plan what I'm going to say next that I don't even glance out the peephole before I open the door.

The sickening feeling when I find Colton standing on the other side of it gnaws at my heart like it might snap in two. He's holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. The charming smile he's giving me would typically melt my heart. At that moment, though, he looks just like any other man. Any desire that I could have for him is tempered with panic.

“
Colton,” I practically cough out his name.

He sniffs the air. “Smells like pizza. Seems like you started eating without me.”

I block the door when he tries to step in. “I have company.”

“
Company?” He gives me a queer look.

To make matters worse, Alex appears in my peripheral vision. For a second, I feel doomed. There's no way this could possibly go well.

“
Hi. Judging by the flowers, you must be the boyfriend.” Alex gazes down at the gifts that Colton brought me. “I'm Alex, Ember's friend from a few years back.”

“
Friend from a few years back,” Colton repeats slowly as if his memory of everything we've talked about has been completely erased. Then it hits him. “Oh, the one that's here on business with her brother.”

“
One in the same.” Alex smiles pleasantly. “Anyway, I was just leaving. Sorry if you guys had dinner plans or something. I might have ruined them by bringing the pizza. There's still some left if you're hungry, though.” He gestures towards the kitchen.

“
Thanks.” A muscle in Colton's jaw twitches. If he's trying to hide that he's not happy, he's not doing a very good job of it.

Alex pulls his wallet out of his pocket and hands me a card. “If you change your mind about wanting to see your brother, there's the hotel we're staying at. We're rooming together, but I can always step out to give you some space. The room number is on the card.” He points at it.

“
Thanks.” I curl my fingers around the card, impressed at how well he's playing off what just happened.

Alex steps around Colton. I can see the silent battle of dominance going on between them as Colton refuses to give Alex space. There's no doubt which one of them is the alpha male.

Once Alex is out of sight, I expect the tension to dissipate between Colton and I but it doesn't. There's no kindness in his eyes as he gazes down at me. It's as if he feels betrayed. And maybe I have betrayed him in some way. Betrayed both him and myself into thinking that I have no feelings left for Alex.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

COLTON

How many shades of green can jealousy be? Because I'm seeing them all.

The way that Ember reacted when she opened the door to me tells me that this Alex guy isn't just a friend. There was definitely panic on her face when she saw me standing there. She's still panicking, and she's not doing a good job of covering it up.

I hope I'm just overanalyzing things. I need to give her the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps something shook her before I got here. That her reaction isn't purely based on the fact that I caught her with another man.

Caught her with another man.
The implication of those words makes me want to drop the wine and flowers and run after the guy to kick his ass.

“
You never told me your friend was a guy,” I can't hide the disdain in my voice.

“
I didn't think it mattered.” She immediately goes on the defense, crossing her arms over her chest.

“
There's nothing going on between you, is there?” I glance in the direction that he went.

“
I'm not a cheater, Colton, if that's what you're getting at.” She glares at me.

“
That wasn't the question.”

“
There's nothing going on between us.” She shakes her head, and I try to believe her. Try to let down my guard.

“
Then there's nothing for me to worry about.” I exhale, allowing the tension to leave me with my breath. If I hold onto this, it will ruin my night. Trust is a two-way street. If Ember says that nothing is going on between them, then I have to believe her. “May I come in?”

“
Of course.”

I hand her the flowers before walking past her to take the wine to the kitchen. She follows suit, looking over the flowers as she walks. It's a less impressive bouquet than I'd usually send her, something that I picked up on a quick trip to the grocery store. This visit was completely spontaneous. I just missed her so damn much that I decided I needed to see her again. It looks like I should have been less selfish and texted first.

“
Sorry if I interrupted hanging out with your friend.” I glance toward the door, trying to sound like I mean it.

“
It's fine.” She sighs, pulling a vase out from beneath the sink. “It was a blessing that you showed up, to be honest.”

“
Why is that?” I dig through the drawers in her kitchen for a corkscrew.

A twinge of discomfort attacks my chest, and I feel aggression bubbling beneath the surface from my possessiveness over her. I can't help but think that she's going to say something about him hitting on her. If she does, I'll be out that door in an instant to track him down.

“
Because we always just talk about the past and it makes me a bit uncomfortable.” She holds the vase under the faucet to fill it halfway with water.

My nerves calm slightly.
Get your shit together, Larsen.

“
Well, I'm glad I came too, then.” I push the corkscrew into the top of the bottle and begin to uncork it.

“
Why are you here anyway?” She quirks an eyebrow at me. Despite her words, she doesn't really sound happy to see me.

“
Because I missed you.” I pop the cork out of the bottle and rummage through the cabinets for two wine glasses.

“
We just saw each other this morning.”

“
I told you I can't get enough of you. Are you starting to get burnt out from my company?” I smirk while I pour the wine.

“
No.”

“
You don't sound very convincing.”

“
What could I do to convince you?” She turns to me.

“
I can think of a few things.” I offer her a glass.

“
Of course, you could. We didn't have sex last night.”

“
Or this morning.” I clink my glass against hers.

“
Or this morning.” She rolls her eyes. “So I bet you're jonesing for it.”

“
Maybe just a little.” I wrinkle my nose before taking a sip.

“
I knew that's why you came.” She tugs on the front of my shirt.

As I look down, I can see her nipples beaded beneath the fabric of her tank top. It's good to know that she's not repulsed by my presence. Maybe things are okay with us after all.

I wrap my arm around her waist and draw her against me before kissing her forehead. “I came because I like spending time with you. It doesn't matter to me if we have sex or not.”

“
Good, because I'm not really in the mood tonight.” She puts her hand on my chest but doesn't push me away.

While I am disappointed, I know that she's going through a lot. The fact that Alex was just here talking about her past probably took the wind out of her sails. I know first hand that dwelling on bad memories can kill a person's sex drive.

“
Tonight is all about you, Ember. I am your humble servant.”

She giggles. “Humble servant, huh? That sounds kind of kinky.”

“
It can be if you want it to be.”

“
We'll see.”

It doesn't lead to anything kinky. For the vast majority of the evening, we sit on the sofa and watch Netflix. Conversation is sparse. Ember looks lost in thought, and I can't help but worry that I'm losing her. This distance between us is driving me mad, but I can't force her to want to be closer to me. If it's meant to be, things will work themselves out in good time.

Before bed, I give her a back and foot massage. Once we finish off the bottle of wine, she seems a lot more relaxed. As I knead her muscles beneath my fingertips, I run into more than a handful of knots.

“
How long has it been since you've had a massage?” I ask.

“
Never.”

“
What do you mean never?” I raise an eyebrow.

“
It's a waste of money.”

“
Does it feel like a waste of money to you?”

“
It feels good, but I wouldn't spend money on it.”

“
What if I spent money on it for you?” I lean over and kiss her between the shoulder blades.

“
I wouldn't ask you to do that for me.”

“
You don't have to ask. I'm telling you that I'm going to do it for you. It will probably help while you're going through this stressful time with your brother.”

She turns, urging me to climb off of her. When she looks up at me, I can't place her expression. It's just blank.

“
I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather pass.”

“
Why?”

“
Because it makes me uncomfortable that you do all of these things for me, and I can't do anything for you in return.”

“
Your company is enough for me, Ember.” I take her hand and pull her into a sitting position.

“
I know that, and I understand that you have good intentions, but I can't change the way I feel.”

“
Have you tried?”

“
Have you tried to understand the way I feel?”

I smile at her. “One of the things that I love about you is that you don't want my money. It tells me that your feelings for me are genuine. That you're not with me because of what I can buy you.”

That seems to soften her a little. She scoots closer to me and rests her head against my chest. “It's true. I'm with you because you're the most tenaciously sweet pervert that I've ever met.”

“
Is that so?” I bring her hand up to my lips to kiss her fingertips.

“
That's so. I'm so lucky to have met you.” Even though she sounds sincere, there's a twinge of sadness to her tone.

***

Staying true to my word, we don't have sex that night either. I lie in her bed and hold her, stroking her hair in the darkness until she's fast asleep in my arms. The morning is met with the same awkwardness as the night before. We eat sugary cereal together and then I leave to let Ember get ready for work.

I'm a mess before I even get back to my house to change, my thoughts completely consumed by my interactions with Ember for these past few days. I know that she's pushing me away. I can feel it. And it hurts more than I ever imagined it could. Even worse because I can't figure out what I did wrong. If I keep seeing her, I might need to go to therapy too. The girl is tearing me apart with her hot and cold moods.

I spend a good portion of the day reading articles online about dating sexual abuse survivors, how people cope with sexual abuse and anything else that might give me some insight into how Ember is feeling. From what I'm reading, it seems like I'm doing everything right. The only thing left to do is give her space.

So I decide to do just that. I give her space. No phone calls. No texting. No surprise visits.

Monday comes and goes, and I don't hear a single peep from Ember. My urge to text her is great, but I stay true to my resolve. Tuesday passes as well without contact from her. I find myself looking at my phone like an obsessed freak. Every time I don't see her name whenever I get a new text, my heart aches. By Wednesday, I've had enough.

If she's going to cast me aside, then I at least deserve an explanation. I need to know what I did wrong.

There are no flowers when I show up on her doorstep Wednesday night. No bottle of wine to take the edge off. She doesn't want anything from me, and so I don't bring anything. Just me.

I ring the doorbell and stand there, trying to temper my anger and frustration. It's not like me to lash out, and I refuse to do it. At the forefront of my mind, I tell myself that there are a thousand reasons why I haven't heard from her these past few days. Jumping to conclusions and launching into an argument is not going to help me keep her.

It feels like an eternity waiting for her to come to the door. For several moments, I worry that she might not open it. That would definitely mean that she's done with me. Her car was parked in the complex parking lot, so I know she's home. If she's purposely avoiding me, then there's no point in me pursuing her any further.

Thankfully, she does open the door, though it's only a crack. She peeks out at me with bags under her eyes. Her hair is an unruly mess, but she's still beautiful. When she sniffles, relief rushes through me followed by concern.

“
Colton?” It sounds more like a question than my name.

“
I just came by to check on you. Are you alright?” I tilt my head to get a better look at her.

“
I'm sick.” She sniffles again.

“
Then I guess it's a good thing I got my cootie shot this year.” I smile.

“
I don't think I'm contagious. It's just a really bad cold.”

The nasally sound of her voice is confirmation that she's not lying. When she opens the door the rest of the way, I can see that her cheeks are pink, and her neck is a bit swollen.

“
When I didn't hear from you, I thought you had died,” I tease. “You should have told me you were sick. I would have come taken care of you.”

“
I didn't want to be a bother. Come in.” She steps aside for me to enter.

“
You're never a bother.” I walk into the living room. There's a box of tissues sitting on her coffee table and a trash can next to the sofa filled almost to the top with crumpled tissues.

“
Can I get you anything?” she asks as I take a seat.

“
I should be asking you that.”

“
I'm fine. It will pass in a few days. It's pretty normal for me to get a sinus infection once a year. It's been happening to me ever since I moved to Houston.” She sinks back into the couch beside me, keeping her gaze fixed on the television.

Tension quickly builds between us. She seems like she doesn't want company, and I doubt it has anything to do with her being sick.

“
How have things been going with you otherwise?” I try to relax, well knowing that I'm not going anywhere until I get the answers that I came for.

“
Nothing new to report, thank God.”

“
Nothing at all.” I stare straight at her.

“
Nothing at all.” She shakes her head.

“
Nothing new with us?” I bend slightly to catch her attention.

She still refuses to look at me. “Nothing new with us.”

I sigh, tired of playing games. “You haven't spoken to me in days, Ember.”