Unsettled (16 page)

“Good choice,” he complimented. “I’m leaning toward the Chocolate Chip Cookie Obsession.”

“Someone has a sweet tooth,” I commented. “I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about chocolate chip cookies that makes everything all right.”

He chuckled, “Agreed. I’ve always liked them. Don’t believe in dieting though. I just try to work off what I eat.”

“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” he said. He closed his menu and turned to look me in the eye. The shift of his tone caught me by surprise.

“Okay…” I replied, twiddling my fingers in my lap.

“What made you decide to accept my invitation for drinks?”
Why did you pursue me?
I wondered silently.

“Curiosity, I guess,” I replied weakly. That was the best answer I could come up with. I didn’t have a profound reason why I decided to step out on the tiny limb that could give way and descend me into an abyss—shattering my being in one fell swoop.

“Well I’m glad you accepted,” he said.

“Me too,” I answered.

“So where did you grow up?” I asked, deciding to choose a generic topic that would keep the mood of our outing light.

“Bethesda,” he responded. “What about you?”

“A tiny town in Southern California called San Marin—but I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.”

“You’re right—I haven’t,” he laughed quietly. I chuckled a little as I thought of my hometown. San Marin was typical suburbia really—tree-lined streets, average-sized homes, nothing too fancy. Not somewhere that a millionaire lived.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure the population has only increased by five since I moved away,” I joked.

His eyes twinkled as he laughed at my response. “Funny—but I’m sure it was nice growing up knowing your neighbors.”

“Yeah—the city does have a sense of community. If I ever have a family, I’d like my kids to grow up the same way.” For a fleeting moment, I thought back to my little baby girl.

“That’s cool—Bethesda was a fun place as a kid, but I wanted a change of pace as I got older,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s understandable,” I agreed. The hostess called Logan’s name and we followed her to our table near the window. The waitresses were bustling around the diner nonstop. We ordered immediately.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been out this late,” I commented.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to hang out like a normal person,” he said, placing his napkin in his lap. “As an entrepreneur failure is not an option—I am only as successful as the next deal I’m able to broker.” For some reason my heart wrenched at his comment. I wondered if that was how most people who’d garnered massive success felt. Just then our orders arrived.

“Don’t you enjoy what you do though?” I asked, blowing my hot chocolate. “How did you settle on pier construction? I mean it’s a pretty random field.”

“Yeah I enjoy it, but it can be overwhelming at times. It’s rare I get time to myself,” he said. “I hadn’t planned on becoming the CEO of a company or becoming wealthy; I just wanted to make a difference and pay my debt—” he finished.
Debt?

“So that just drove you to become an industrialist? A lot of people strive to get to your achievement status—especially at such a young age,” I said, taking a sip of my cocoa.

“Not exactly. Do you remember the 1988 San Francisco earthquake, the year of the World Series?” he asked, running his spoon through his vanilla ice cream.

“Vaguely,” I remarked, a little confused by his random question. “I was only six or so at the time of that tragedy.”

“My father’s parents were originally from the Bay Area, and naturally my grandfather was a huge SF Giants fan. My grandparents wanted our family to fly out there to watch the games, but my dad couldn’t get away from the office since he was in the beginning stages of opening his accounting firm. And Lauren, my little sister, was still a newborn so my mom didn’t want to take the trip either,” he said taking a gulp of water. “Between my brother Scott and I begging to go and my grandparents’ persistence, my parents agreed to put us on an unaccompanied minor flight.” Logan drew a deep breath.

“You don’t have to talk about this, you know. I was just trying to make conversation,” I said. His demeanor had changed since he began recounting his story.

“It’s fine. It was a long time ago,” he said. The closed half smile on his mouth told me differently. I noticed that the sparkle in his eyes from earlier had disappeared.

“We were headed to the game when the earthquake hit… I just remember feeling like we were on one of those bridges at the playground, and the kids wouldn’t stop jumping. The concrete above us gave way, and a large slab collapsed down onto my grandparents’ car.” I sucked in my breath unintentionally as Logan continued on.

“My grandparents didn’t survive the accident, and Scott’s leg ended up being lodged between the seats in the car. Emergency workers were able to get to Scott and cut him out of the car. His femur was shattered and he had to have his leg amputated at the knee.” For a fleeting moment a look of anguish crossed his facial features.

“That had to be a horrible experience,” I whispered. I was only six when the earthquake happened and I didn’t remember much about it aside from my dad being one of the linemen dispatched to the area to help re-establish power.

“Long story short, my parents ended up flying out to California and planning my grandparents’ funeral along with getting Scott into therapy and fitted for a prosthetic leg. I promised myself that since I came out unscathed I would perform to my fullest potential. I owe that to my grandparents and especially to Scott—he lives with the reminder of that event every day of his life. If Scott has the ability to get up every day and face the world after such a tragic accident, I figure my putting up with pretentious meetings is the least I can do. I named the construction company LSC Capital Construction, to pay homage to my grandparents, Lucas and Sheila Colton.”

“I had no idea…” I said dumbfounded. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Logan went through that day, when his world undeniably shifted. I never had to watch anyone pass away in front of me, especially not at such a young age! His words tore at my heart and my soul ached for him and what he’d been through. It was apparent that he had unnecessary cinder blocks of guilt firmly attached to his feet.

“Life curves in many directions,” he commented, finishing off his dessert. I stayed silent. All that I had just learned about Logan tumbled through my mind. Our waitress came to clear our plates and Logan requested the check.

When the waitress dropped off the check, I reached into my purse to get my wallet. I slid out my ATM card and placed it on the tray.

“What are you doing?” Logan asked.

“I think it’s called going dutch,” I offered. “You paid for the movie, I can pay for this.”

“Didn’t we go over this already?” Logan asked, amused. Logan reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, taking out a few bills.

“Hmm, let me think. I don’t recall” I lied. “Honestly, it’s fine.” Just then the waitress came and picked up the tab before Logan had a chance to switch the payment. I smiled as she walked away.

“See? Painless” I said, smirking.

We both buttoned up our coats and headed back out into the chilly April air. When we reached the sidewalk, I stepped forward, admiring the lit cherry blossom trees in the distance.

“That would make a great shot,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice out here at night,” Logan added, grabbing my hand. The contact of his skin to mine sent appealing shocks through my core. I felt as though we were the only two people in the city.

“Yeah—I’ll have to come—”

Before I knew what was happening, Logan turned me to him, and I stopped talking. Longing swept through me like a rising tide as he traced the outline of my face, gingerly. He tilted his head and leaned into me, pausing any thoughts of the trees in the distance. Logan softly planted his lips firmly over mine. The gentle pressure he applied to my lips coaxed me to open to him. He slid his tongue into my mouth and explored every crevice. I was eager to do the same. We were entwined together and I felt his hands playing in my hair, his fingers teasing my scalp and urging me to deepen our kiss. I slithered my arms underneath his jacket and inched my hands up his muscular back, stopping at his neck. His touch ignited a desire that flooded through me. I couldn’t recall ever being kissed so intensely. I hadn’t been kissed since Mike—and his sloppy, wet suctioning maneuvers were nothing to remember. My brain was already in cruise control when the nearby sound of a car door slamming pierced the bubble I had been floating in.

Nestled in his scent, I took deep breaths to steady my racing heart. His kiss was unexpected, but damn well worth it.

I released a quiet sigh at the warmth of his contact.

“Thank you,” I murmured after a few seconds.

“For what?” Logan asked.

“The impromptu taste test—your lips taste like chocolate,” I giggled, still securely locked in his arms.

“You like chocolate, don’t you?” he asked mischievously, searching my eyes.

“When it’s off your lips? Sure, why not,” I said, gracing him with my most devilish smirk.

Logan licked his lips and smiled. “Let’s get you home,” he said. He loosened his grip from around the back of my neck as we broke apart.

“That’s probably a good idea,” I agreed.

We walked side by side and I unsuccessfully tried to shake the lustful fog that being enraptured by him had caused in my head to no avail. I thought back to our dinner and how he’d told Alex that he was interested in me. I was caught up in a spell.
Who did I think I was kidding? I was caught up in him…and wanted more.

Logan was definitely a good kisser.

“WELL THANKS FOR INVITING
me out. I had a nice time—and I loved the movie,” I reiterated as we stood on my front stoop under the porch light. I searched for my house key in my bag.

We didn’t speak much on the ride home from the theater. We sat side by side in the car, but I felt like we were oceans apart. The heat that had emanated between us earlier had fizzled. I wondered if he regretted our kiss or opening up about his past. Those were the only logical explanations for his noticeably cooler temperament.

“I did as well. Thanks again for dinner. Brooklyn...about earlier…”

“Yeah?” I looked up at him expectantly waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I don’t…I can’t…nevermind.” Wait, w
hat? He can’t what?
I felt a sickening twinge in my stomach. His jaw twitched in the light. He seemed distressed and I was pretty sure I had an inkling about what he was trying to get at.

“I’m heading out of town tomorrow, but I’ll be back in a few days.” He hung his head and ran his hand through his hair.

“Oh…oh okay. Well have a safe trip,” I said. I tried to mask my disappointment as best I could. Over the last couple weeks I’d thought that we’d connected a little bit. I was clearly mistaken.

I turned from him to insert my key into the door. Unlike earlier when my body felt warm and tingly from his touch, I was now chilled as disappointment sank in. Earlier, I was stupidly excited at the prospect of exploring something new with Logan. Now, all I wanted to do was retreat back into my hermit shell.

“Good night Brooklyn.”

“Good night, Logan,” I said as I watched him walk back to his car, clicking the alarm to the SUV as he went.

WHEN I WALKED THROUGH
the door, I was instantly aggravated when I saw Damon and Jay sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Hey B. How was the movie?” Jay asked as I closed the door behind me.

“Good,” I said unenthusiastically. My movie experience had been great until Logan started acting squirrely.

“Hey Brooklyn,” Damon said.

“Damon,” I replied.

“Can we talk?” Damon asked, as I walked in front of the TV headed toward my room.

“Absolutely not. Good night, Jay” I said, effectively halting any prospect of having to converse with Damon privately. I continued walking toward my room and closed the door behind me.

I was surprised how tired I was when I finally made it to my room. I shed my outfit from the night and changed into my tattered sweatpants and my favorite oversized tee. I climbed into my bed—the one place in my room where I always felt, wanted, welcomed, and comforted.

As I stared into the darkness around me, my mind rewound. I thought of the night that I researched Logan on the Internet. All my insecurities about getting involved with him barreled to the forefront of my mind like an avalanche.

Logan was stinking, filthy rich and rubbed elbows with elitists, I was sure. I, on the other hand was just—
average, plain, and damaged
—my subconscious volunteered. The smart thing to do was not to pursue a situation where I’d likely wish that I hadn’t carelessly given the last remaining pieces of my tortured heart to a person who likely couldn’t reciprocate.

I believed that there was someone out there for everyone, and there was no way Logan could be mine.

My gut told me that was what he wanted to tell me on the porch.