Unsound: A Horizons Book (8 page)

“This doesn’t seem like an equal progression,” Julie voiced her thought.

“You just have to do it once,” Michelle encouraged, “it’s not scary after that.”

Julie didn’t respond, just walked closer to her doom, but I understood why she claimed that everyone told her that.

“I’m not gonna let you fall,” I said quietly to her as I offered her a hand up the platform. I tried to ignore my disappointment that she didn’t acknowledge my chivalrous action. I told myself she was just concentrating on getting up to the platform and didn’t hear me. 

“Come on Jules, we don’t have all day—Anthony’s parents are arriving soon, we don’t want to be here still waiting on you when they get here,” Jeff teased.

Julie

I stood up on the platform and looked down at the ground, which currently seemed very far away. I glanced at Michelle, Anthony and Jason, who were getting into formation. I looked at Jon and found his eyes looking back at me. He realized he was caught and quickly looked away, over to Marie. I looked over at her too. She wasn’t paying attention to me or moving into formation to catch me. She was looking at her nails and rolling her eyes, probably jealous of the unwanted attention I was getting.

I looked back down at the ground. The idea of falling off of this platform made me lightheaded. My vision started to tunnel, blurring black around the edges.

“Ok Julie,” Jeff started, as everyone gathered around in formation to catch me, “turn around, cross your arms across your chest, and keep your body tight, legs together when you fall backwards.”

Before I turned my back, I glanced at the ground again, seeing my dark shadow this time, looming below. I slowly turned around, and stepped back so my heels were against the edge of the platform. I opened my mouth to start the command chain, but then I froze. I started to feel lightheaded. Then it went black.

*  *  *

I felt myself on the forest floor. I could hear the crunch of the leaves below me.

“Julie? I think she’s coming to,” I heard Jeff say. I opened my eyes slowly, and was surprised to see Jon’s face swimming directly above me. I blinked and realized my head was in his lap. I looked to the left and saw Jeff.

“I’m sorry Julie, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” Jeff said, “Michelle, can you help her over to Mrs. Sanders?”

“Sure,” Michelle said, as Jon lifted me up from the ground with him and placed me on my feet. My eyes widened at the ease in which he lifted me.

“I’ll take her,” Jon looked at Jeff.

“Yeah, maybe that’s a better idea,” Jeff started, noticing Jon’s arm around my waist, holding me up.

“No,” I said, backing up an inch. Jon dropped his hand from my waist, rubbing it through his buzzed hair instead. Everyone looked at me. It was the first word I had said, “I’m fine; I don’t need to go to the nurse.”

“Julie, you fainted,” Jeff said, “You have to go.”

“No, I’m fine. I just… I don’t know. Got overwhelmed. Did I hit my head or anything?” I asked.

“No, Jon caught you—”

“I’m fine,” I said, taking another step back from the group, mostly trying to put distance between Jon and myself. I was humiliated. Everyone had to stop looking at me, “Please. I’m fine. Can we continue class and take the focus off of me? Thanks.”

“Ok, but you’re sitting out. I just want you to relax for a minute. And I still want you to go to the nurse after class,” Jeff told me.

I shrugged and walked over to a tree out of the way. I sat down, leaning my back against it.

I watched as Jon connected his carabiner to the ropes in order to climb the course. Jason also connected himself to help Jon belay from the ground.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see Marie walking closer to the group to cheer Jon on. I thought I saw a smirk playing on her lips. I wanted to smack any smug look off her face.

*  *  *

Right after class, Michelle got in the shuttle to the nursing home while the rest of us put our gear away in the shed. Everyone seemed to forget about my episode. It wasn’t a big deal. But I was still embarrassed. Being vulnerable in front of others was hard for me. I don’t think that would change even after ten years of therapy. Failing was also hard for me. Failing in front of other people was basically unbearable.

I was the last one remaining in the shed, slowly and carefully putting everything away as everyone else rushed around. I took my time so I didn’t have to make eye contact with anyone.

As I turned around to leave, I saw Marie lingering by the door, the smirk still on her face.

“What’s your problem, Princess?” I asked.

“I just didn’t take you as someone scared of something as stupid as heights,” Marie started her verbal attack.

“What should I be scared of? Calories?” I retorted, opening my eyes wide in mock fright. I reached around Marie for the door handle, but she pushed it back closed.

“Jon’s not going to fall for your games, Julie. So if that was planned—”

“Oh my! You figured me out,” I exclaimed in mock surprise, “I faked fainting just to get into Handsome’s pants. What ever will I do now that you know my secret?” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed for the door handle again and opened the door.

“So then you are that pathetic. Fainting because you looked down at your shadow?” Marie threw at me from behind. I was only a few steps away, but Marie made sure to say it loud and clear so the rest of the group, who were a few feet away at the picnic table, could hear.

I wheeled around; fire in my eyes, but spoke slowly and quietly, “don’t test me, Princess. I’ve been holding my own for a long time; I could hurt you without even breaking a sweat.”

Marie walked out of the shed, towards the group, “you’re just a lonely, slutty girl and someone like Jon would never care about a whore like you,” she said quietly to me as she passed.

That was the last straw, I lunged at Marie, who screamed and tried to run. I was faster, and I quickly tackled her, pinning her to the ground, face first.

Before any damage could be done, I was dragged off the crying girl. I knew instantly that it was Jon’s strong arms wrapped around my core.

“You stupid, prissy, little bitch,” I spat out. I tried to kick at her, but Anthony was pulling Marie up from the ground and Jason got in the middle in an attempt to keep us separated.

Marie didn’t say anything, she was crying, scared. Her cheek stung, so she touched it, feeling blood, which made her cry more into the waiting arms of Anthony.

“Julie, Marie. My office. Now,” everyone turned to look at Jeff, standing there, his face red with anger.

He stormed off, expecting us to follow. Jon’s grip had lessened on me when Jeff appeared, and I took the opportunity to launch at Marie again.

JONATHAN

I grabbed Julie around the waist and attempted to pull her back towards Jeff’s office. She was a lot stronger than she looked. I didn’t have another option, so with a struggle, I threw the angry girl over my shoulder and fireman carried her over to the main office.

By the time we reached the steps, she had given up screaming about Marie, and was pleading to be put down. So I did—a little harder than I probably should have.

“Calm down!” I yelled at her, “What the hell was that?”

“She had that coming, Jon. I don’t know what the hell her problem is! I haven’t done anything to her!  What the hell does she know with her sheltered, perfect life and her perfect little eating disorder and all her stupid money, whining about her parents—”

“Calm down!” I yelled again. I was confused, and pissed, and didn’t understand what had just happened. From what I saw, Julie attacked Marie, and I didn’t know why.

Julie glared up at me. I could see the fire behind her eyes and it was turning me on. Then I saw Anthony walking Marie up to the main cabin out of my peripheral vision and came back to my senses.

“Listen,” I said looking at Julie again, “Jeff is going to kill you—”

“So what,” Julie spat back quickly, crossing her arms over her chest. She climbed up to the next step in an attempt to be eye level with me, “just leave me alone, Jon. You don’t actually give a shit. Run off to the little princess and go be
her
knight in shining armor.
I
don’t need one.”

Julie turned and walked inside the building towards Jeff’s office. She was still so angry, she didn’t care what Jeff was going to do, and she didn’t care what I had to say.

Through the door I saw Julie pause to knock on his door before she entered and slowly closed the door behind her.

*  *  *

Tony had to get ready for his parents, so I waited with Marie outside. I sat on the steps and turned to look at her.

“What the hell is your problem?” I started with her with the same frustration I had for Julie. I was very confused. This was not the same shy girl I had been sneaking off with to make out in broom closets.

“What did I do?” Marie asked, brushing past me and walking towards the door, looking at her reflection in the glass to inspect her cheek.

Marie turned away from her reflection and walked down the steps to look at me, “of course you take her side. Leave me behind the moment someone like that comes in here.”

I laughed, caught off guard by the jealousy, “that’s what this is about? Maybe Julie’s right about you being crazy,” I looked up at Marie’s face and realized I hurt her feelings.

“Sorry,” I said quickly, “I didn’t mean that. I don’t want her like that. I mean, I don’t want her in any way. I don’t know how the hell you thought you could take her on in a fight. You should have known better,” I willed myself to stop stammering, but I didn’t know if I was lying to Marie or to myself. I couldn’t explain it, but I was definitely drawn to Julie since I saw her step out of that police cruiser.

Marie smiled and sat next to me. I felt bad because she obviously thought she knew me better than she did. She thought I was guarded, and that she could break through my walls. She was so naïve.

“You’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking egging her on. Her weight alone would have crushed me,” Marie said.

I rolled my eyes. Despite the sweetness she showed when she first got here, she was just like any another petty girl, “Uh, you have to go in there and tell Jeff what happened or she’s going to get in a lot of trouble for no reason,” I said as I stood. I extended my hand to pull her up.

“What if I don’t?” Marie said, tipping her head flirtatiously.
This really is a new side of her
.

“Listen, I’m sure she already told him what happened. It will look better for you if you just come clean and tell the truth,” I looked down at Marie who was pouting up at me. I leaned over and kissed her quickly. She looked too cute at that moment for me not to.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement and pulled quickly away from Marie. Julie was at the door. Her face was blank, showing no signs that she saw the kiss. I convinced myself that she hadn’t seen anything.

Julie

I wished I hadn’t seen that.

“He wants to talk to all of us together,” I said quickly, then turned and walked back into the building, not waiting to hold the door for either of them.

There were three chairs in front of Jeff’s desk, so I sat in the furthest. Jon took the middle to keep us girls apart. Marie lingered by the door for a moment.

“Marie, sit,” Jeff started. She sat. “I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that you two were fighting, or that no one seems to want to tell me what happened.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jon look over at me. I’m sure he was surprised I hadn’t ratted Marie out. I trained my gaze straight ahead—out the window.

“Fine. If no one wants to tell me what the hell is going on, I’m going to have to give you both punishment,” Jeff said.

“It was me,” Marie admitted, “I started it, it was my fault.” Everyone looked at her. She shrugged.

“Well,” Jeff said. He wasn’t expecting Marie to admit to anything since he already figured it was my fault. So unfair. He didn’t think she was capable of provoking me.

“Really, just punish me,” Marie said.

“Unfortunately, even if you did provoke Julie, you didn’t ask her to tackle you. Julie and Marie, this has been your first altercation. I trust it won’t happen again, so I won’t contact your parents this time. But I still have to punish both of you,” Jeff told them.

“Fine by me,” I said, I needed to get outside and smoke a cigarette, “can I leave now please? I’m sorry I tackled the little brat. It’s out of my system now. Can I just go back to the cabin? My head hurts.”

That did the trick. Jeff remembered that I had passed out earlier, “sure,” he said, “I’ll give you your assignment later. And Jon, you were only trying to break the fight up. You don’t need to stick around.”

I stood up, so did Jon. I still didn’t want to look at him. I thought about him kissing Marie. I tried telling myself that it made no sense, but I knew that was a lie. This actually explained quite a few things.