Unsound: A Horizons Book (11 page)

Then she saw us. She stood there, stunned for a moment, taking in the scene. Confused, she walked slowly closer to us. That’s when Julie saw the gun and screamed dropping her belongings on the forest floor.

I was closest and stepped up to her, pulling her back to my chest with one arm, covering her mouth with the other. I never took my eyes off the gun, but I felt her smooth flat stomach underneath my hand and felt the excitement rise in my chest and my pants despite the situation. I slid my hand down to find hers, whispering in her ear that it was okay.

I started to bring Julie behind me, to protect her and block her from view, but then I saw Tony out of the corner of my eye.

Thug Two was shamelessly checking Julie out and Tony took the opportunity to charge him. In the struggle, the gun went off. I immediately pulled Julie to the forest floor and covered her body with mine.

Tony managed to knock Thug Two out as Jay did work on Thug One. I think Jay was excited to get into a fight. I didn’t know he had it in him, but he managed to knock the guy out and beat him a little more for good measure.

Luckily, we didn’t have to wait long. The gunshot was heard from campus and Gary, the groundskeeper, came running into the clearing to see what was going on.

“Are you okay?” I asked Julie softly. I could see a light sweat in her hairline from her workout but her smell was intoxicating—perfume mixed with salty, sweet sweat. I dropped my head and our lips brushed for a moment.

“Uh huh,” she managed to gulp out as I pulled back. She was shaking.

I got up slowly and pulled her to stand next to me. I felt her trembling and put my arm around her waist.

Eventually we heard sirens in the distance.

Julie

Hours later, I laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I knew I was going to have nightmares again. 

I’ve had a gun pulled on me before, but this was different. This wasn’t used to scare me into conceding. That guy would have hurt me if he had to.

I didn’t want Jon to leave my side. I felt safe with him there with his arm around me. But once the police came, they separated everyone to get our statements. I still didn’t understand who those guys were and why they were there. I had mixed emotions about getting the whole truth. I wasn’t sure if knowing everything would help my impending nightmares or make them more real.

I wished that I were able to sleep next to Jon. There was just something about him that made me feel safe. He automatically protected me during the whole ordeal. He didn’t think, just acted. That kind of strength and complete lack of indecision amazed me. I could never be strong like that. In fact, I froze and screamed like a baby.

I couldn’t keep my mind away from Jon. How it felt to have his arms pulling me against him. How it felt to be pressed beneath him. How it felt to have his lips brush mine. I wanted to feel a lot more of that, without the imposing threat of some asshole wielding a gun.

The more I let Jon fill my head, the less I thought about the gun and finally I drifted off to sleep without the nightmares.

CHAPTER THREE

“You realize that our mistrust of the

future makes it hard to give up the past.”

Julie

With all the excitement in the woods, my fight with Marie was somewhat forgotten. But Jeff was chipper and excited to remind me Tuesday morning during breakfast.

I wasn't particularly stoked for solo dish duty, so I procrastinated. I wanted to get to the bottom of the disconnected number.

I walked up to the phone and tried again, just getting the same recording.

I hung up slowly and sat back in my chair.

"No one picking up?" Mindy asked. I jumped, startled. I hadn't seen her sitting up there, reading in an armchair.

"Jesus, I didn't see you," I said, holding my chest.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. So who you trying to call?" Mindy asked.

"How is that any of your business?" I asked her defensively.

"It's not, I was just making conversation. You look worried is all," Mindy responded calmly. She looked back at her book. She obviously was fine either way—being my friend or not didn’t affect her.

I ignored her and picked up the phone again. I tried a different number, this time someone answered.

Mindy could only hear my side of the conversation.

What do you mean? How? When did it happen? Who found her?

At the last question, I saw Mindy lift her head again and look at me. I turned my back to her as much as possible considering the phone chord. I could feel the tenseness in my shoulders and I was gripping the phone so hard, I'm sure my knuckles were turning white.

"Okay, thanks," my voice trailed off and I slowly hung the phone up.

"How old was she?" Mindy asked, startling me again. I had momentarily forgotten she was there although I felt her presence.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed again as I turned around, hand on my chest again. The episode in the woods definitely cranked up my nerves.

I looked at Mindy and she just looked back, searching my eyes as I searched hers. I let my wall slip a fraction, I wasn't sure what she was looking for, but I was willing to let her try.

Mindy

I could see anger and irritation masking the sadness in her eyes. Julie looked at me intently, searching for something. I stared blankly back at her. I had nothing to hide.

She didn't intimidate me, although I think that's what she wanted. "How old?" I asked again, although I already knew the answer. This poor girl had died young.

"Our age," Julie caved, falling back into her chair, "it was her birthday. I just wanted to say…." Julie trailed off again, lost in thought.

"Are you okay?" I asked, stupidly, not knowing what else to say. I'm sorry seemed pointless and I wasn't great at comforting others. I was too awkward for emotional connections.

"Why do you care?" Julie demanded, leaning forward in her chair again, resting her hands on her knees.

"I don't know," I said offhandedly. It was the truth, "I'm sure you're supposed to intimidate me. I'm sure that's what you want. You want to push everyone as far away from you as possible. Trust me, I get it. I'm in the same boat. People suck.

"But you don't intimidate me. Sorry. I'm not Marie," I laughed, "although that girl definitely scares easy. When you started for her I thought she was gonna piss herself."

Julie laughed a genuine laugh, and sat back in her chair.

As her laughter faded she looked off into the distance, "she was one of my roommates in L.A. Our other roommate, well… I had found her the night I got picked up by the cops. I don't know how long she had been dead for. I was a little fucked up when I found her, my reactions were a little slow. But I saw the needle. I knew she had overdosed. It was an accident.

"Kitty wasn't home yet – she was probably out with a client."

The wheels started to turn in my head: clients and girls named Kitty, three teenage girls living in an apartment. It didn't take long for me to piece together what Julie was admitting to me.

"I hadn't meant for it to spread. I just wanted to get rid of her i.d., some of her pictures. The drugs. I don't know why I didn't flush them. I thought it was a much better idea to toss it all into the trash can and throw in a match. I don't really know what happened. But the apartment quickly… or possibly slowly, who knows, went up in flames around me.

"But now Kitty, her real name was Charlotte. I don't really know what happened. But they found her dumped. Literally. They found her in a dumpster. Who does that? I wonder if they found Charlotte's i.d.," Julie looked up at the ceiling, head back on the chair in an attempt to keep the tears in.

"Looks like that fire was the smartest thing you've ever done," I commented. I saw a smile break slowly across her face and she tilted her head back down to look at me. Her wall went back up and her emotions were shut off. I wondered if that was something I could learn from this broken girl. I would love to have the ability to shut off all the emotions that were constantly flowing through me.

"It's all water… under the bridge," Julie said with a groan as she got up, "I have dish duty, thanks to Marie's outburst."

"What did she say to you anyway?" I asked, curious what that had been about.

"She called me a whore," Julie said, rolling her eyes with a shrug, "I guess I'm a little… sensitive about that."

"I'll walk down to the kitchen with you," I offered, changing the subject.

Julie just nodded and we walked down together. The cafeteria should have been empty considering the off-hour, but as I passed the doors, I noticed movement towards the back.

"Shh," I prodded Julie with my elbow as I pulled her to stop next to me.

Marie and Anthony, though they thought they were discreet, were too lost in their moment to notice anything except kissing each other.

*  *  *

Days passed, classes went on, but Julie and I now picked up on the looks, the smiles, and the extra tutoring sessions. Which right now, Marie and Anthony were having in their dark corner of the cafeteria.

We didn't tell anyone else, but when we got some time alone, which was often now that Michelle was in solitude on probation, we speculated on the affair. I had noticed that Jon didn't disappear anymore. I wondered what he thought, what he noticed.
Did he realize it had been a while since he had a make-out-sesh with Marie in the tool shed?

I was pondering this as Jeff walked in, followed by a tall, good-looking boy. He had dark brown hair and eyes that were looking around at us.

Jason, as he was sitting closest to him, took the liberties of all the introductions after Jeff quickly left to get ready for his date with Lena.

JONATHAN

“I’m Chris,” the new kid told us, “is he always that rushed?”

“Hot date,” Jason responded.

“How is that allowed?” Chris asked, “We can’t fool around but our superiors get to have extramarital affairs?”

“Hey if they’re happy, that can only make life better for us, right?” Jay said, “getting laid always helps my mood.”

“Yeah, if you consider your right hand getting laid,” Julie joked.

“I’d like you to know, I’m a lefty,” Jay said with a grin and wink, causing everyone to groan.

Chris chuckled and looked over at Julie, taking her in discretely from head to toe with his dark brown eyes. Julie had already looked back down at her book and didn’t notice. But I did.

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat.

“Well, this has been thrilling,” Chris said with a shrug, “I’m headed out for a smoke. See what kind of mischief I can get into.”

Chris turned and left the common room. Shortly thereafter, Michelle, Jason and Mindy followed suit and headed to their respective cabins to get ready for bed. At that point, a majority of the common room had gone to bed and I was very aware of Julie’s close proximity as she shifted over to me on the couch.

“All alone,” Julie commented, looking at me, “so, what do you want to do with me?”

“Shut you up,” I responded, rolling my eyes but not looking up from my book. I still felt some residual anger at the new kid, wondering who he thought he was.

“Oh, I see… you want me to be quiet? Okay, well I will try, but I can’t make any promises…. Especially if you’re as good as you look—”

“Bye,” I said, pushing myself off the couch.

“No, stop. I’m kidding. I can be serious, I mean it. Can’t we just hang out? I finished my homework hours ago, I’m bored.”

My reluctance was clear, so Julie stood up on the couch, placed her hands on my shoulders and forced me to sit back down. She even climbed onto my lap to keep me down.

“Now you’re forced to stay, you can’t get up!” she declared with a cute little head nod.

“Oh right, I’m stuck here under you, can’t possibly get out,” I deadpanned. When she wasn’t being pushy and making slutty comments, I found Julie really endearing.

"Nope, I have you locked down to this couch, sorry," she said with a smile. We looked at each other, eyes locked, and I knew she felt what I did. There was an electric pull that attracted me to her. Julie wrapped her hand around the back of my head and started lean in when I came to my senses.

I resisted and pulled away, "I can't, Julie. Marie has this idea…"
Why did I say that?
As far as I was concerned, Marie and I were long done. I guess I just wanted to have a talk with her about it first. It would make me feel less guilty.

"Right," Julie said, climbing off of my lap. I could see embarrassment flash across her face momentarily before the wall fell into place.

"Sorry, it just wouldn't—"

"Whatever," Julie cut me off, "you're acting as if you two are together but I know it's not what you really want."

"How do you know what I want?" I snapped.

"I'm not saying I know what you want. But I know what you don't want. And maybe the feeling is mutual. You're just too blind to see reality," Julie retorted.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Nothing," Julie said. She got up to walk outside, knowing that I would follow.

"What are you talking about?" I asked again.

"Jon, you're a smart boy, aren't you?" Julie lit a cigarette.

I took it out of her mouth and threw it, "you shouldn't smoke."

"Aw, honey, I didn't know you cared," Julie's voice dripped venom as she pulled another cigarette out of her pack, "how sweet," she mumbled as she lit up, daring me to waste another cigarette.

"Just tell me what you're talking about Julie."

Julie

“Why don’t you go check on the tutoring session and see for yourself. I have to go,” I turned and walked away from Jon. I knew that I shouldn’t have said anything, that I was just embarrassed and angry. It wasn’t my intention to cause problems, but I lashed out like a selfish brat.

I glanced over my shoulder and noticed Jon staring at me, his hand brushing through his hair in exasperation. I started to feel bad. I had to grow up and stop using anger to cover my vulnerability.

JONATHAN

I wasn’t about to go over to the cafeteria to spy on Marie and Anthony. I assumed that was what Julie was talking about. I was stunned for a moment, but I knew I wasn’t upset. It made sense. I mused for a moment and couldn’t remember the last time I had been alone with Marie. Before the shooting incident, which was a couple weeks ago at this point.

I was a little embarrassed and angry with myself.
Why did I think Marie was so hard up on me that I needed to let her down gently?
I was a little angry at Julie too, for the games she was playing.

But if something was going on between Marie and Tony, well… more power to the guy. He had been pining over her since the moment he met her. It was obvious to everyone but Marie. And considering I hadn’t missed our secret meetings enough to even notice… that spoke loudly to me.

That and the fact that I couldn’t get Julie out of my head since she was pressed beneath me after that gun went off, her scent filling my senses. That very vivid image kept haunting me since it happened. I shook the image free from my head and walked to bed knowing that I would only find Julie again in my unconscious world.

lena

I couldn’t remember the last date I had been on. Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was glad that Jeff agreed to low-key.
Dinner here was much less stressful,
I thought to myself as I popped the tray of pasta in the oven to melt the cheeses together. 

A quick glance at the clock told me that I had a few minutes before Jeff arrived. I poured a glass of white wine and walked back to my bedroom to look at myself in the mirror one last time. After countless options, I had settled on a pair of skinny jeans and a tight grey t-shirt. This way I looked casual, but knew the outfit was tight enough to show off my curves.

I applied another coat of mascara, and as I reached for the lip-gloss, the doorbell chimed.  All of a sudden I was a ball of nerves.
Why did I invite him here? To see my small house and all of my things?
What if he hates my taste or thinks my cooking sucks.