Untamed (Vampire Awakenings, Book 3) (33 page)

Concern for him blazed to the forefront, if
she didn't get him out of here soon, something horrible was going
to happen. He would hate himself if he lost control and killed
someone, and there would be no way for her to cover it up and keep
him safe if something bad happened. She knew that it was because of
her that he was so unstable and she had to do something to help
him,
now
.

Forgetting about trying to be polite about
their escape from the alcove, she threw an elbow into the back of a
girl too busy moaning about her wet bathing suit to notice her.
Apparently this ridiculous complaint was the worst thing in the
world, if her bitching was to be believed, but right now Emma was
willing to rip the thing off of her if it got the girl out of her
way. She elbowed her more vehemently again before lowering her
shoulder and shoving the girl aside. The girl cursed at her but
Emma didn't pause to apologize as she grabbed the door and pulled
it open.

Cold air blasted against her, her wet skin
immediately broke out into goose bumps as she stepped into the
entryway of the small mall. Normally, in her soaked condition she
wouldn't have entered the building, but it was the only way that
they were going to escape the crowd. A few people passing by shot
them dirty looks as water dripped from them in soft plops on the
stone floor. She didn't pay them any attention though as she
searched for somewhere that they could hide and regroup for a few
minutes. There was no way anyone was going to let them into one of
the stores and it was probably best to get Ethan completely away
from people.

Her feet squished on the floor as she moved
further into the building. Before they made it into the main
hallway, she spotted a solid wood door with a
do not enter
sign on it and grabbed hold of the
handle. She pushed it open and stepped into the small closet
crowded with mops, brooms, some feather dusters, and shelves of
bottles filled with cleaning supplies. Shutting the door of the
janitor's closet, she flicked on the light switch next to it and
pushed in the lock on the handle.

Ethan kept his back to her, his head was down
and his shoulders hunched forward. He flinched away from her when
she rested her fingers on his back. "Don't," he snarled.

Feeling as if she had been slapped, Emma's
hand fell back to her side. A sense of helplessness encased her as
she leaned against the door to watch him. She should be scared
after what she'd seen outside, she could sense the instability
within him but even though he'd been on the verge of destroying
those people out there, she felt no concern over her own safety
when it came to him.

"This is because of me, isn't it?" she
inquired.

"This is because of me, of what I am, even
before you I was a monster," Ethan told her.

She was taken aback by his words. "No you
weren't."

He turned on her so quickly that she didn't
even see him move before his hands were beside her head on the
door. Though she wasn't scared of him her breath still hitched in
as he lowered his face to the same height as hers. At some point in
time he had taken his glasses off to reveal the burning red eyes
hidden beneath them all day. Eyes that revealed his continued
spiral out of control.

"You don't know what I am Emma, what I am
capable of, or the
thoughts
I
have." He leaned closer to her, his nose and mouth practically
touched her neck as he inhaled deeply. "The things I want to do to
you Emma, if you knew what they were you would run screaming."

Perhaps she would, but she couldn't help but
feel oddly titillated by his words and his breath as it tickled her
neck and ear. She was a train wreck, she knew that, but it was
because of him that she had gone off the rails. Her palms pressed
against the door as he pulled away to look at her.

"I stayed away from humans because I knew
their blood and life force was a temptation I might not be able to
resist one day, and then I met you. You made it all better, with
you the unending clamoring for blood wasn't as loud and I found
that I could face the world again."

"Thoughts don't make you a monster Ethan,
actions do."

"If you knew my thoughts right now Emma, you
wouldn't be so certain of that."

"And what are they?" she whispered.

He leaned so close to her that their noses
nearly touched. "What I wouldn't give for just a taste of
you
."

Her breath caught in her chest, she bit on
her bottom lip as her heart raced with excitement and apprehension.
She was trapped in this tiny closet sized room, with a man that was
talking about drinking her blood, and instead of fleeing she found
herself saying words she'd never expected to say, "Taste me
then."

His eyes became a more vivid shade of red;
she knew that if there had been actual flames within his eyes, she
would have just been burned by them. It wasn't his eyes that would
hurt her though, but the fangs that had extended over his bottom
lip at her words. "If I'm what you need to help you be stable
again, and to face the world, then do it."

Ethan's jaw clenched; the scent of rain on
her skin, mixed in with the honeysuckle scent of her intensified as
she unwaveringly held his gaze. Those scents were even more
enticing than her words. His hand brushed the wet tendrils of hair
away from her neck to expose the vein running through there,
pulsing with life and begging for him to taste it. It was the vein
that he wanted the most, the one that would ease him and satisfy
him, but it would also just be the beginning of the end. If he did
this, there would never be any turning back for him.

"You don't know what you're asking for," he
said from between his clenched teeth. "I can't."

"It will help you..."

"It will
intensify
what I feel for you. If I ever taste you
that will be the end of me, it could only be
us
afterward."

Those words echoed in her mind and though the
sane part of her was saying this was all moving too fast, that this
was a commitment she wasn't ready for. A commitment such as this
took years of getting to know each other, of dating, meeting the
parents, and fights. Then if all of those things had been
withstood, and there was still love, a ring and the promise of
another fifty or so years were exchanged. There wasn't a bonding
ritual that would end her life and last for an eternity.

The insane part of her was screaming,
just do it
.

The prospect of spending forever with him
wasn't as frightening anymore though, it was intriguing and
exciting; it was something that she wanted as badly as he seemed to
want her blood right now. This magnificent, powerful man standing
before her loved her and he was offering to share his life with
her. He had absolutely no doubts about
her
; he was willing to do anything for her, even
die. When she had asked for space, he had stepped aside and risked
himself in order to make her happy. Before everything had been
revealed to her, she been falling in love with him, and now, after
all of this, she realized that she
was
in love with him.

Emma's heart raced, even with the cold air
caressing her skin, her body was on fire as the heat of him burned
against her. Weren't vampires supposed to be cold? Instead he had
the same effect on her as the summer sun on an August day. "Then
let it be us," she whispered.

"Emma," he groaned and for the first time
some of his anger and stress began to ease as his head bowed. "You
don't know what you're asking for."

"You said I can still see my parents."

"Yes, but it's your
death
."

She rested her hand against his cheek; the
stubble lining his jaw was rough against her palm as she leaned
forward to press a brief kiss against his lips. "And it's a whole
new life. Believe me I'm not thrilled about the prospect of having
my heart stop beating, but I am thrilled about
you
. You've given me time to figure all this out,
and what I've figured out is that I want
you
; I want to help you and to be a part of your
life. I thought you would be happy."

The look in his eyes made her realize that it
was too much for him to hope for right now and he didn't know how
to take her words. Taking hold of his cheeks with her hands, she
stared at him for a few seconds before pulling him closer and
kissing him again. At first he didn't respond to her but then his
lips eased against hers and his body relaxed.

A feeling of contentment slid through her as
she pressed closer against him. His hands slipped away from the
door and settled on her hips. The thin, wet material of her purple
cover-up pressed against her skin, but all she felt was the heat of
his hands burning into her flesh. There was no fear here; there was
only love and trust as his tongue slid over hers. She had just
handed herself over to this man and all she felt was a soul deep
certainty that it had been the truest decision of her life.

Ethan's heart raced, it was taking everything
he had not to tear the clothes from her body and bury himself
inside of her but he found that finally touching her helped to ease
the raging monster that had been shredding his insides. She was
everything to him and she was finally agreeing to be
his
. His hands slid over her silken
thighs as he pushed up the hem of her wet cover-up, his fingers
brushed against the edge of the bikini bottom hanging low on her
hips. His body was vibrating with need but he was well aware of the
fact that everything he desired from her, he couldn't do within
this small room, he didn't even want to try. She deserved better
than this and he was going to make sure that she had it.

A small mewl of protest escaped her when he
pulled his mouth away from hers. He caught her hands pressing
against his chest, lifted them above her head, and flattened them
against the door. Her breath came in rapid pants that caused her
breasts to push temptingly against him. A seductive smile curved
her mouth as she pressed her hips invitingly against his.

She would be the death of him, but he would
welcome that death if she was smiling at him like that. Unable to
resist her, he brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her with a
deliberate slowness that allowed him to savor in the honeyed taste
of her. Her hands jerked in his grasp but he didn't release her and
she didn't try to pull away as he left a trail of kisses across her
neck and down to her collarbone. His tongue swirled over her
rain-dampened skin as he tasted her. He could hear and feel the
rapid beat of her heart but he stayed away from the tempting vein
that beckoned to him.

"Ethan," she gasped when she felt the press
of his fangs against her flesh. The sensation of his fangs scraping
over her skin caused her to quiver with anticipation. That was when
she knew that she'd completely lost her mind, and that she didn't
care. His eyes were burning embers when they came back to hers, his
fangs clearly visible as he stared at her. "I want this."

He released her hands and seized her face in
between his palms; he stared at her as he waited for her to change
her mind, but she had no intention of doing that. When she didn't
tell him to stop he kissed her so ardently that he stole the breath
from her completely. She jerked a little when one of his fangs
pricked her lower lip but it wasn't an entirely unpleasant
sensation and he kissed away the sting of the bite.

A rumble of satisfaction escaped him as his
tongue licked up the trickle of blood that flowed into her mouth.
Blood that was as deliciously sweet and magnificent as he'd known
it would be. Even that small bit of blood caused strength to seep
through his system as it filled him in ways that no other's blood
could have. He almost bit down on her lip to get more but he knew
it would hurt her and though he would cause her future pain, he was
going to do everything he could to minimize it now.

Her fingers curled into his back when he
broke the kiss but before she could protest his heated mouth was on
her neck and his fangs were pressing against her skin. The breath
she'd just managed to take rushed out of her again when his fangs
sank deep into her flesh. Her body jerked against his as he took
possession of her vein. The sensation of his teeth piercing her
skin was like a pinprick that was gone almost as soon as she felt
it, and once it was gone there was only endless waves of delight as
he held her more firmly against him.

At first she thought that it was only her
pleasure by sustaining him, by being in his arms again, that she
was feeling. Then she realized that she was also experiencing
his
emotions. Her mind was becoming
overwhelmed with joy and a feeling of becoming one with each other.
She'd never realized she'd been searching for something in her
life, but she knew now that this was what she'd always been waiting
for her. She belonged here, with him, and as he fed from her she
realized that he felt it as strongly as she did. Tears of happiness
burned her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. The passion she'd been
experiencing was dampened by the sensation of completion that was
swelling within her. She couldn't stop crying as her fingers slid
through his hair to hold him closer and her head fell back against
the door to offer him better access to her vein.

Ethan clung to her as the monster inside of
him retreated and everything within him became centered upon this
woman in his arms and the gift that she was giving to him. The rest
of the world faded away as her blissful emotions took possession of
him. He'd grown up with his parent's close relationship, witnessed
what had unraveled between Isabelle and Stefan, but nothing could
have prepared him for the feelings unfurling within him now. It
took everything he had to pull away from her before he took too
much, not because he wanted more of her blood but because he never
wanted the connection to end.