Authors: Jaimie Roberts
“I had so man
y hands upon me I didn’t know which ones were which. They weren’t gentle, they made sure of that. Every touch, every pinch was agonising, and the pain etched in my face seemed to heighten their excitement.
“In the end, Jaden knelt beside me as I la
y there almost completely naked and exposed. He brandished a knife and told me that each one was going to cut me—brandish me, so that whenever I found a new boyfriend, it would reveal my first conquests to them. He said he was going to go first as he had taken so much energy with me to get me to this point. That he was owed that much, at least.”
I showed Seth the inside of m
y thigh. There were six distinct markings each in line, going down my leg.
“These are the lines that represent them. The one for each bo
y that was about to rape me.”
Seth closed his eyes again in anguish. When he opened them back up, a single tear dropped down his face. I tried to wipe away his tear, but he grabbed my hand.
“This isn’t about me, Angel. You have no reason to comfort me. It’s you that’s been through this, not me. I wish I could have known you back then. You would have never of had to go through all that—because you would have been with me.”
He kissed my thigh so tenderly that it was hard to keep focused on the story. I felt I was going to explode with tears. There was no doubt in my mind how much he cared for me.
Instead I took a deep breath, pulled my leg back into position and carried on.
“I was ver
y fortunate that night. I had Jack and David out looking for me. I’m so glad they were both so suspicious that night as I don’t know what would have happened if they hadn’t of turned up.”
Seth’s rigid bod
y had now relaxed. I knew I was hurting him by telling him this story. It was all too close to the mark for him after what had happened with his sister. I did wonder for a while if he would handle the story or not. I knew I had to tell him—I just didn’t know whether he would stay after he knew.
“The
y came in the barn, and when they saw me pinned down to the ground—all cut and half naked with my clothes all torn—they went ballistic. I felt ashamed that my two best friends had seen me in this state. I was crying and screaming from the pain, but the worst part about the whole ordeal was seeing their faces. I will never forget the look they gave me when they saw me on the ground. It was heartbreaking.
“The
y started screaming at them to get the fuck away from me. Of course a fight broke out, but there were six of them against three of us. We were all beaten to the ground, and that’s when Jaden decided to reward me this scar on my stomach—one he knows I’ll never get away from. It stares back at me every day—a testimony of what he did to me.
“The
y eventually picked up their stuff and went. I think they may have thought so much noise was made that they had better get going. We were left for dead. In fact, I would have died if it wasn’t for the fact the farmer was out and about in the field and noticed his barn door wide open. I should imagine he got the shock of his life when he saw us. I had lost so much blood by then that the hospital told me that if I had been left just another half an hour or so that would have been it for me. What didn’t help is the fact I have such a rare blood group that it was hard for them to find the right blood.
“To cut a long stor
y short, they saved my life, and now I’m here to tell the tale. I had to go to court and reveal my whole story to them again. Jack and David also had to take the stand. In the end, the attackers were sentenced to life for one count of Attempted Rape, one count of Attempted Murder, two counts of Grievous Bodily Harm, and three counts of Possession of an Illegal Substance.” I sighed closing my eyes as the memory of Jack and David being in hospital came washing over me.
“I have never been able to forgive m
yself for putting Jack and David in that position. If I had listened to them, I wouldn’t have gotten them in that fight that put them both in hospital. David had a collapsed lung and several cracked ribs, and Jack also had cracked ribs, a broken arm and a head fracture. It was devastating beyond belief.”
Seth grabbed both m
y hands and kissed them tenderly. “In the words of a very beautiful, wise lady I know: you can’t blame yourself for what happened. Jack and David love and care for you a great deal. They obviously don’t feel there is anything to forgive, so why put yourself through all that pain?”
I had to giggle a little when he said this. “I know. Practice what
you preach and all.”
He pulled m
y hands up to his lips again, as I watched in awe at this beautiful man. He was my everything now. No going back.
“
You see the thing is,” I began, not wanting to finish quite yet. “After what happened to me, I never trusted anyone ever again. I grew up thinking that the only way forward was to use men. Just like I felt I had been used. I was never going to let myself fall for anyone’s charms again. I wasn’t going to let anyone in—I was in control. I had the power and it felt great to be in that position. I wanted nothing more in life then to get what I wanted and be damned of the consequences. I became reckless and used men just for sex. That was all I needed. Just sex. I didn’t need love to get in the way, as it would only complicate matters—and I was doing fine—until I met you.” I smiled as cheekily as I could, and watched as his infectious grin appeared.
“
I managed to build a wall, put up a door, and bolt it shut. I knew what was ahead of me and could control everything and everyone around me. I felt safe. I felt secure. My walls and that bolted door were my protection. My life was predictable with a future I knew I could handle.
“
Then the day I met you everything changed. I didn’t feel safe anymore. I didn’t feel secure.”
Seth’s smile disappeared as my words sank in.
“Why not?”
“You knocked on my door.
I knew my life would never be the same again. One look was all it took—one glint in your eye and I knew I was yours. I have never been anyone’s before. I hated you for it. I still hate you for it.” I chuckled and swotted him gently for good measure.
“And now?”
he asked, smiling.
“Now the door is wide open.
You’ve not only opened my door, you’ve bulldozed your way through it. How am I ever going to get it shut again?”
He spun me around and I squealed as he held me to the floor. “
You’re never going to close that door again, my angel. That door’s mine now. I own it,” he said flicking my nose with his finger.
“
Yes, you do. It is yours to take. I’m giving it to you freely and I don’t want you to ever give it back.”
He kissed me gentl
y, caressing my face. He always had this special knack of making me feel like the most precious woman in the world. I didn’t flinch from the thought this time—I embraced it wholeheartedly.
He kissed each e
yelid, and then my nose, before going back to my lips. He pulled away for a little while, sighing contently.
“
You know, you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met. You’ve been through so much and yet you seem so strong, so together. I admire the hell out of you, Miss Bradshaw, and I’m head over heels in love with you.”
The giggling surfaced as he kissed m
y neck. “Keep talking like that, Mr Jacobs, and you just might get lucky tonight.” He pulled his head up to face me as he smiled. The smile soon faded as he looked me in the eyes.
“I don’t want
you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Angelina. I mean it. If you want to wait a little while longer, I’ll give you as long as it takes. You’re worth every single second, every single hour, every single day until we reach months, if it takes that long. I love you and that’s never going to change.”
M
y eyes bulged as I looked at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me right? I’ve waited too damn long for this moment. I’m not wasting another second longer. Make love to me, Seth.”
His smile widened. “Oh bab
y, when you say my name like that, how could I resist?”
His mouth was on mine within an instant, no hesitation, no holding back. His hands caressed m
y face tenderly as his mouth explored my lips, and then my neck. “Oh Seth,” I gasped, the feeling exquisite.
“Oh God, Angel.
You keep saying my name like that I’m going to come undone.” His mouth was on my skin again and it felt so good. I had never had this before. Never had such intimacy before sex. All I knew was straight in and straight out. No questions asked, no hanging around for more—just in and out.
With Seth it was different. He was taking his time, savouring m
y body—devouring it. I was his, and he now owned every part of me.
His kisses moved from across m
y neck toward my chest. He cupped my breast and squeezed my nipple. “Oh God,” I gasped, arching my back. I had never felt so turned on—never wanted someone so much in my life.
“Have I finall
y cracked your cookie, my angel?”
I gripped his head and held it to m
y chest, exploding with absolute love for this man. “Oh Seth,” I said breathlessly. “The crumbs are everywhere.”
He giggled into m
y chest and the feel of it tickled me a little. Even a little thing like that had me racing for more.
He pushed himself up a little and pulled his jumper off.
Oh my fucking God!
If I had seen this sooner, I would have been a goner. He had the most toned bronzed muscles and the silkiest skin I had ever seen. His pecks stood out a little,
yearning to be touched. The curves of his waist seemed to swim beautifully down to his hips where his jeans were now in the way. God, those jeans needed to be off, and quick smart.
He spied m
y heated expression and giggled. “See something you like, Angel?”
“I don’t have to answer that,” I breathed, unable to hold my lust for him. “I want to show
you instead.” Pushing myself up, I positioned my face in front of the buttons of his jeans. I couldn’t take it slow. I wanted them off, and quick about it. I unbuttoned each one before you can say “quick about it” and was yanking his jeans down past his waist.
“M
y, my, we are an eager beaver aren’t we?”
I shook m
y head, lust burning a hole into him. “Oh Seth, you have no idea.” I pulled his neck towards me and kissed him hard. The tension of wanting and needing this for far too long overflowing like a burst pipe.
As we were kissing, he somehow managed to get his jeans and boxers off, before placing himself back on top of me—where he belongs.
The tender touches and kisses have now been taken over by this carnal desire to have one another. It was always simmering—always on that tip where it turns from the tiny bubbles forming at the bottom, to full on boiling point at the surface. We were right where we needed to be.
I couldn’t help but explore his body. My hands at first were gentle and loving—stroking and caressing his back and his hips—but then the more he spreads his kisses over my body, the more animalistic I become, scratching and pinching at his skin. I almost wondered whether I’m hurting him, but the moans that escaped his lips told me otherwise. It seemed to spur me further.
“You’re so beautiful, Angel,” he whispered in my ear. “I can’t imagine a life without you in it. You mean the world to me.” He kissed the bottom of my neck and gently pulled the strap of my bra down over my shoulder. He carried on kissing and with one little tug, my breast was exposed. It was right there for him—heaving for his touch. My nipple rock hard awaiting his attention.
He soon gave it to me when his mouth was right there. He licked and sucked it until I was in oblivion. Who would have thought that such a tiny part of me being touched would set my whole body on fire? I was panting and breathless—the need for his touch so strong that it almost took my breath away. “Seth,” I cried, his name a seductive whisper on my tongue.
“Oh God, Angelina. You’re so fucking beautiful, so sexy—so mine.”
With another tug, he pulled the remaining bra strap down on the other side, and started his relentless torture on my other nipple. The first nipple was screaming ‘What about me?’, but then his fingers were there caressing and pinching it until I thought I wouldn’t be able to take anymore.
I arched myself up as he skipped his fingers around my waist and up towards my back. He unhooked my bra with one hand, awarding him a raised eyebrow from me.
“What can I say? I’m a natural at this,” he beamed.
I was about to reprimand him, when my bra was discarded and his mouth was back on my nipple. “Oh God, Seth, please,” I begged, not caring if it sounds like I am. I am wanton for him and I don’t give a damn who knows it.
“If you keep saying my name like that I’m not going to be able to contain myself.”
“Then why are you?” I asked, just wanting him inside me already.