Untouched: a Cedar Cove Novella (10 page)

Because the
alternative—life without him—hurts too much to even bear.

I stare out at the
ocean, all these questions racing in my mind. Soon I see, there’s
someone out in the ocean, a surfer. I can make out the pale strip of
his board as he sits, bobbing on the surface, waiting for a wave. But
the whole afternoon, he never takes one. I see him paddling
furiously, every time a swell comes through. He lines up his board
with the oncoming wave, gets into position, and then… just lets it
roll by.

I wonder what’s
holding him back. Fear, getting the best of him, before he can let
go. I know how he must feel. I always promised myself I wouldn’t be
like my parents: I’d love bravely, no matter what the cost. But
looking into my future, so many decisions to be made, I can see, how
sometimes it’s easier just to let the wave pass you by. You can
tell yourself it’s not the right one, that you’re playing it
safe, that it’s too much to take. And maybe, you’re right.

But you stay there,
bobbing on the surface. You never know what it’s like, to take
flight and soar, propelled on by something bigger than yourself.

I want that. I want
Emerson. And I don’t care how.

I feel the certainty
flood through me, as if there was ever any doubt. He’s all that
counts in the world to me. College, the future, it’s all just
details. There are other schools, other cities.

But there will never be
another him.

I find my phone, and
with shaking hands, I dial.

Voicemail.

“Emerson?” My voice
is trembling, but I don’t stop. I have to say it, it’s the only
thing I have left.

I take a breath and let
it spill out in a rush.

“I love you.”

I stop, hearing the
words out loud. It sounds so simple, but it means everything in the
world to me. I let out a self-conscious laugh, “I know, it’s
wrong to be saying that to your voicemail, but, you need to hear it.”
I swallow. “I want to be with you, Emerson. That’s all that
matters to me. We’ll figure out the rest together. Just, come to
me. I’ll be in my darkroom. I… I don’t want to be alone
anymore.”

I hang up, my heart
racing.

He could say no. He
could keep pushing me away. But somehow, I know that doesn’t
matter. I’m not giving up on him, not like everyone else in his
life. He thinks I’m going to leave because the rest of them always
do, but I won’t. I’m staying right here, as long as it takes.

I’ll make him see,
we’re all that matters now.

She loves me.

After everything. After
seeing my life laid bare, all the mess, and pain, and twisted shadows
that come with it, everything I’ve been ashamed of for so long. I
don’t deserve her, I know. She’s seen the worst of me: the brute
animal, the demons unleashed. She’s seen it all.

Still, she loves me.

There’s no choice,
not a moment of doubt. I don’t stop, even for red lights.

I carefully soak the
last photograph in the chemical bath. My hands are shaking, my whole
body wound tight with nervous anticipation. I can’t help but glance
at my watch again, struggling to make out the time in the dim
darkroom light.

Soon.

As soon as I hung up
from Emerson’s voicemail, I took a shower and changed: picking out
pretty underwear, and my favorite sundress; lip gloss, and a
ponytail. I felt like I was dressing for a date, or graduation, but
this is even bigger. I’m on the edge of something, the rest of my
life, right now.

Once he’s here,
there’ll be no going back.

I try and distract
myself with the photos. I lift the final print out of the liquid, and
pin it to the line to dry. It’s Emerson, the photo I took during
our perfect day together. He’s in the driver’s seat, lounging
back, one hand on the wheel. He’s grinning at me, so relaxed and
free, I can hardly believe he’s the same guy I saw pummeling that
dead-beat dealer, driving his fists into the other man’s face over
and over until I thought he’d leave him dead on the ground. My
heart broke for him, watching his mom leave, but even more, for the
look of grim resignation on Emerson’s face, the betrayal and hurt
he would never speak.

I vow to myself, to
never let him feel that way again. I can love him, and protect him
from the pain. We can heal each other.

I feel a sudden shiver,
and I know he’s here, even before the shed door opens and evening
light comes flooding in. “Close it, quick!” I cry.

Emerson steps inside
and slams it shut.“What’s wrong?”

“The photos,” I
check them, and let out a sigh of relief. “It’s OK, the chemicals
have set. You have to develop them in total dark,” I explain, “Or
else the paper gets exposed, and nothing prints.”

He comes closer to me
in the dark, and I catch my breath. The photos distracted me for a
moment, but now he’s right in front of me, and everything comes
flooding back. All my nerves, and hopes, the love swelling in my
chest.

And desire.

Emerson stops, a step
away from me. His body looms in the shadows, dark eyes glittering in
the red beam of the safety bulb. “What you said, in your message…”
he trails off, “Did you mean it?”

There’s a twist in
his voice, full of hope.

I close the distance
between us, and place both palms on his chest. I can feel his heart
racing through the fabric of his shirt, a wild rhythm that matches my
own.

“Yes.” I vow. I
look up into his eyes, and feel the sense of pure rightness wash over
me. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be. With him.

“I love you.” I say
it softly, tracing one hand up to touch his jaw. I run my fingers
over his lips, those lips that send me to heaven with the faintest
kiss. “I know it seems impossible, but, it’s the only thing
that’s real to me. I want you,” I add, my voice sounding calm and
sure despite the butterflies in my stomach. “I want everything.”

Emerson’s eyes flash
in recognition, but still, he doesn’t move.

“You’re sure?”
His voice is hoarse. “Because if we… You can’t take it back.”
His body is tight, and full of tension under my hands. All his power,
held back, strung out on the most delicate of wires, waiting to be
unleashed.

“I don’t want to
take it back,” I’m dizzy, inhaling the scent of him. My legs are
weak, just from being so close, but I need him to let go, to
surrender to the force that is so much bigger than the both of us.

I press closer against
him, and Emerson clenches his jaw. “I want to belong to you.” I
tell him, clear. “Always.”

I bring my face closer,
closer to his, until our lips are just inches apart.

“Take me.” I
breathe as my mouth finds his. “I’m yours.”

Emerson lets out a
tormented groan, and then his control is gone, all restraint lost as
he sweeps me into his arms, his lips crashing down on mine in a
searing kiss that shocks right through me.

He slams me up against
the cabinet, devouring me with his mouth, his body, his hands. I
clutch eagerly to him, overcome by my hunger, to know every part of
him; feel everything. He lifts me as if I weigh nothing, and I wrap
my legs tight around his waist. I kiss him back with everything I
have, already pulling his T-shirt over his head so my hands can roam
across the warm skin of his shoulders, his back, his chest. I slide
my hands over the smooth planes, marveling at the taut, hard muscles.
The beauty of him.

Emerson breaks the
kiss, yanking my dress straps down and raking his tongue across my
breasts. I gasp, the sensation rippling through me, a thick pull that
itches in my veins and pools with an ache between my thighs. I thrust
against him, reckless, wanton, loving the feel of his mouth closing
around my nipple, teasing and toying until I’m crying out for more.

Emerson lifts me away
from the wall, and we fall to the floor in a tangle of limbs and hot,
greedy kisses. I lick across his chest, savoring the taste of his
skin, and the way his whole body flinches under my mouth. He shoves
my dress down, yanking it off the whole way so I’m trapped beneath
him in just my lace bra and panties. Exposed.

He catches his breath,
looking down at me with a fierce tenderness in his gaze. “God,
you’re beautiful,” he breathes, and then he’s kissing me again,
hard and fast until there’s nothing left in my mind and all I can
feel is the tantalizing thrust of his body against mine and the
delicious sensation of his bare chest pressing against my breasts. He
tears off my bra, groaning into my mouth as his hand slides between
my thighs.

I cry out. I’m wet
for him, aching, and I sob with relief as his fingers find me,
rubbing gently, searching, teasing me until I’m bucking wildly in
his arms.

“Now,” I gasp,
pulling away to grip his face in both my hands. I stare at him,
panting and desperate for something I’ve never even known. “I
want all of you, I need to know…” I break off, helpless. There
are no words to explain how I feel, how this desire is consuming me,
and I’m lost in the glorious flames.

But I see it, in the
dark intensity of his eyes, Emerson feels it too. He rolls off me,
just for a moment, and pulls a condom from his pocket. Then he strips
off his jeans and underwear, returning to lie beside me, his body hot
against my skin. He kisses me again, tender, and slowly moves me into
position.

I lay beneath him, and
catch my breath. He settles between my thighs, the look on his face
so strained and focused, I can’t help but smile.

“What?” he
whispers, reaching to stroke some hair back from my face.

I smile up at him.
“You.” I whisper, suddenly shy. “It’s always you.”

A look comes over
Emerson I’ve never seen before. A quiet joy that takes my breath
away.

“I love you,” he
whispers, and I feel his body surge to meet mine. I gasp, taking him
into me, feeling the sharp ache and then, oh, the glorious fullness.
I stop, our eyes locked, something so precious and true passing
between us, I know my life will never be the same.

“I love you,”
Emerson breathes again. He starts to move, and I move with him,
moaning, lost in the fresh wave of sensation pulsing through me.
“It’s you, Jules. It’s always been you.”

He shifts, pulling me
closer, angling deeper, and I cry out in pleasure. The fever is
taking over me now, pulling me down, every thrust sending me closer
to the edge. Emerson is gasping, wild against me, and it’s all I
can do to hold on tight, answering his body’s every demand with my
own. The tide rises, building, every muscle in my body pulled tight
with desire, but somehow I can’t break, I can’t surrender.

“Don’t hold back,”
I gasp, writhing under his touch. “I want all of you. Everything
you are.”

Emerson’s eyes flash,
and then he’s slamming into me, harder, deeper, everything I need.
I rise up to meet him, sinking my nails into his back, throwing back
my head in abandon. I feel it come, closer, closer, and then
Emerson’s face changes and his body goes stiff, and I’m crying
out as the wave finally crashes over us, sending me spinning, broken,
into the depths of pure ecstasy.

I finally surface, limp
in his arms. Emerson is heavy on top of me, his delicious weight
pressing down. I take a shuddering breath, my heart racing. Pure gold
is shimmering in every cell of my body, an afterglow of peace and
breathless pleasure.

“Hey, baby.”
Emerson blinks his eyes open, and rolls off me. I open my mouth to
protest, but then he pulls me against him, spooning me so I’m
tucked, tight against his chest. I relax into his embrace, feeling
the race of his heartbeat, and his labored breath.

“Hey yourself.” I
sigh, resting my head back onto his shoulder. “That was…”

“Mind-blowing,
life-changing, fucking perfection?” Emerson finishes for me.

I laugh, twisting to
kiss him. I place my hand against his cheek, still dazed from the
storm of sensation. “If that’s what it’s like, how does anyone
get out of bed?” I tease.

Emerson grins. “It’s
not like that, not with anyone else.” he answers. “Not ever.”

“Oh,” I feel a glow
of pride, and snuggle closer. “Just us.”

“All you, baby.” He
kisses my sweaty forehead, and I lay back, yawning. “Will your mom
be looking for you?” he asks softly, tracing down my naked body.

I shiver under his
touch and shake my head. “She went to bed early, she’s still got
this flu.”

“So we’ve got all
night?” Emerson asks, smiling wide.

“We’ve got
forever.”

I laid there in her
arms until morning, feeling the softness of her body, pressed against
me, the heat of her skin against mine. I held her, safe in my arms,
and knew that now we’d found each other, nothing could break us
apart.

We would be together
forever, in love, just like this. We would make it work somehow. I
knew it with every atom in my body, every dream I’d hardly dared to
think. We belonged to each other now, our lives together were only
just beginning.

I was wrong.

THE
END… FOR NOW.

Emerson
and Juliet’s story continues in the USA Today Bestseller UNBROKEN.
Read on for more info and a look at Chapter One!

**AFTER
UNTOUCHED
….COMES
UNBROKEN
**

Emerson
and Juliet’s story continues in the USA TODAY Bestselling novel,
out now!