Untrusting (Troubled) (5 page)

Steve went directly in to check on
the shepherd.  I walk in on him holding the dog’s head and talking to
him.  He’s calling him Chief.  I say hello and he looks up.  He
gently put the dog’s head down and gets up.  “He’s looking better. 
He raised his head and I just held it for him for a minute.  I hope that
was okay.”

“He’s been showing signs of lifting
his head, so it’s okay.  I need to move him so his lungs don’t fill with
fluid, but I can’t do it alone.  I’m not sure I can do it all.  It’s
gonna hurt, but I can’t have him getting’ pneumonia from lack of
movement.  Can you help me?”  I step to the other side of the dog.

“I’ll get Bob to help if you’d
rather.  How do you want him moved?”  I explain I need to put a
splint on his ribs to keep the rib from shifting again before we try to sit him
up.  “Maybe, we can take him outside to do it, he may need to go to the
bathroom.”

Bob and Maria come out of the back
room and Steve gets Bob to help.  They move “Chief” outside on the board
after I give him a shot for pain and put the splint on him.  He perks up a
bit in the fresh air.  I hold his head as the guys bring his body to a
sitting position.  He sits there for a few minutes then gets up to move
around a bit and relieves himself.  He’s a bit clumsy with the body splint
on and his pain meds.  He comes back to the guys for a little gentle
praise. They help him back down on the board and carry him inside where I
remove the splint.  Chief licks my hand and I put my face down to hug
him.  Steve comes over to help me up and hands me a couple of
tissues.  I’m crying again, I guess.  I lean the top of my head against
his chest and he holds me ‘til I contain myself.

“I’m staying again tonight. 
Hope you don’t mind.” He says, softly.  “I’ve had a lot more sleep than
you have and I can check on Chief and Chaucee while you sleep.  You’re
exhausted.  How about some supper before you go to bed?”

“I need a shower and some clean
clothes.”  Just as I say it Mom and Dad walk in with an overnight bag.

“We’ll stay here while you get a
shower at Miss Lili’s and eat.  Is there anything that needs to be done
while you’re gone?”  I start to protest, but Mom holds up her hand with
her index finger up and wags it back and forth.  That means “don’t say a
word, and don’t bother to refuse, it wasn’t a question, but an order.”  I
just nod, that’s the only acceptable answer for that gesture.

“There’s nothing to do for about
two hours and I’ll be back by then.  Thanks, I love you guys.”  Steve
takes the bag from Dad and propels me toward the door, coming upon Maria and
Bob on the way.

“Hey, we’ll be at the drive inn for
dinner, if you want to join us.”  Bob says.  I look up at them and
they’re both beaming.  “We’re going after Shay and Maria wants to shower
and change from ‘Dog #5’ to…anything that smells better.”

Maria looks at him and asks “Are
you saying I smell like ‘dog’?” Maria’s pulling at her collar, trying to smell
her clothes.

He smiles at her and asks, “How
could you NOT smell like ‘dog’?  Luckily, I don’t mind, but over supper it
might be a different story.  Besides, you’ll want Shay to eat, won’t
you?  I’m just teasing.  Now let’s go, I’m starving and unless I miss
my guess, it’s going to be another hour before we eat.  Meet y’all at the
drive inn in about an hour.”  He pushes Maria out the front door and Steve
pushes me out behind them.  I hear Mom and Dad chuckling behind us.

Maria and I not only smell better,
but we feel better, after our showers.  Supper’s hot and, after the day we
put in, satisfying, not only because it was good but we didn’t have to cook it,
tired as we are.  Miss Lili’s with us, she’s put in a long day, too, for a
woman in her mid seventies.  She livens up the meal with tales of her day
with the dogs.

Shay’s happy to be out for supper
and insists Bob take him to the bathroom to wash his hands.  He’s never
been in a men’s room before and comes out with all sorts of tales.  Maria
tells him he can tell her on their way home.  He wants to tell her now,
but Bob tells him the men’s bathroom is like a secret club and he quiets down
and eats his supper.  Bob’s more attentive to Shay and Maria during supper
and we all notice.  But all of us at the table dote on Shay,
somewhat.  It’s like a family supper.  The guys pay for supper and
Bob takes Maria and Shay home, while we take Miss Lili home and return to the
office.

Mom and Dad took the dogs out while
we were gone, but they stay to talk about the puppies and don’t seem to be able
to stop.  They ask about fostering the fit animals out, but I explain what
the H.P. had told me, so they drop it.  It’s a good idea, but I can’t ‘til
I get the okay from the legal side.  We talk for a while and when they
leave, Steve sends me to get some sleep.  I check the animals and help
Steve feed Chaucee and go to bed.

Steve brought a little TV with him
and sits in the waiting room to watch it.  I hear him talking to someone and
then nothing.  I wake up later to go to the bathroom and find him asleep
in the cot.  Chief had moved somewhat to get more comfortable. 
Steve’s sitting up when I came back to go to bed.  He’s going to feed
Chaucee.  I tell him Chaucee’s a Scottie.  He says Grams thought she
might be and picked a name that might sound Scottish.  I laugh, “Well, if
you put a hard “Cha” on it, it might sound Scottish.”

He laughs and shrugs, “You know
Grams, she’ll say it however she wants to.”  He put her back in her kennel
and stands looking at her.  I ask him what he thinks of putting her in
with the mama that’s still nursing.  We talk about the switches from
bottle to nursing and the problems it might cause, but I tell him she’d be
getting natural nutrition from the mama dog for a while.  He wants to know
the difference between mother’s milk and the formula.  I tell him all the
same vitamins and nutrients are in the formula, but antibodies are in mother’s
milk.  He considers it, asks if the antibodies could be given to her in
some other way.  Not really is the only answer.  There are the normal
shots but there’s nothing to add to the formula that would add the antibodies
with the immunizing factors mother’s milk has.  I feel he doesn’t want to
give up the feedings.

“How soon would she be put with the
rest of the puppies?” he asks.  She needs to grow a little so she won’t be
trampled but in about two weeks, I answer.  “I’ll have to ask Grams. 
She’s the one to make the decision.  She loves Chaucee already and can’t
wait to take her and José home.  She knows about the wait and the H.P.,
but she wants those two ‘home’ soon than later.”

I admit I haven’t had time to talk
to Miss Lili about the dogs, but tell Steve I’ll be sure to make time. 
Steve says he’s going to keep tabs on the case with the H.P. and hopes to hurry
it along.  Grams, is upset about the whole situation, the injuries, the
deaths of the dogs and the driver.  Steve puts his arm around my shoulders
and steers me toward my cot.

He doesn’t wake me when he leaves
for the station, but calls when it’s time to feed Chaucee.  The second
time he calls Maria’s coming in the front door.  We start our day at seven
but don’t open ‘til eight thirty.  We let the dogs out for their run and
clean the kennels.  Then put them back inside, kennel doors open. 
Later that day the pregnant dog has her litter, eight more puppies and the
perfect foster mother for Chaucee, if it’s okay with Miss Lili.  I’ll ask
her first chance I get.  Then everyone can sleep.

Chief’s been moved twice today and
is doing well enough that he helped when we moved him the last time.  The
cast and the splint are troublesome for him but he’s getting the hang of
it.  He’s doing so well, I can go home tonight and not be concerned if I
didn’t have Chaucee to feed.  Bob and Steve arrive and I tell them the
news, but they don’t seem as happy about it as I thought they would be.

Miss Lili is with them and I speak
to her about Chaucee.  She likes the idea of fostering the puppy, less
work, more benefit.  She and I start working on getting “mama” to accept
her.  The mother dog knew the difference immediately and was a little put
off, but as soon as her babies started nursing she didn’t seem to notice
Chaucee.  We stay a while to see if mama was totally okay with Chaucee being
there.  There’s no sign of rejection, so we leave them as they are to go
to supper and check again about nine when the other dogs are let out.  I
can go home tonight.

Steve catches me at my truck, “I’m
kinda sorry I won’t be staying again tonight.  I was getting used to
sleeping with you…in the same room.  I kinda liked it.”  I look at
him but don’t say anything.  I’d been too tired to notice, but didn’t want
to say so.  He’s growing on me.  “I know you need to get some real sleep,
in your own bed.  So I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”  With that he
turns, gets in his truck with Miss Lili and drives off, and so do I.

My bed looks very good to me. 
Exhaustion takes over as soon as I step through the door.  I take a shower
and have some ice cream then go to bed.  The bed felt so good, I don’t
remember anything after getting comfortable, which took about two seconds.

I’m up at six and running
late.  Maria will be there before I am and will start taking care of the
dogs without me to help.  I rush to get to the office, missing
breakfast.  Maria and I arrive at the same time and I’m thankful.  We
start our work day by letting the dogs out and cleaning the kennels.  The
newborns are left alone except for Chaucee.  I check her and am reassured
she’s okay and put her back with her adopted family.  I go outside to
check on the dogs there and find they’ve settled down and I can get a look at
them today without being mobbed.

When Maria and Miss Lili had
started the charts they’d put a number on a collar that identified the dog with
the chart.  I notice most of the sprain injuries are doing very well since
I’d taken the bandages off yesterday, but one seems to be having more trouble
than the others.  Number four is limping with her rear swaying to the
side.  I take an x-ray, find her hip’s dislocated and manipulate it to
work it into place.  I wrap it, an unusual thing to do, so it’ll stay in
place during her normal movements.  She still has pain when she puts
weight on it, but she’s moving a little easier and steadier.  I give her a
mild shot for the pain.

I get through the morning
appointments, all routine.  Miss Lili comes in with lunch and puts the
food down on the desk, handing Maria something.  Maria tells me, after
lunch, it was a check to cover yesterday’s pharmacy and supply order of twenty
five hundred dollars.  I’m grateful, but upset.  I find Miss Lili and
talk to her about it.  She wants to help with the expenses and won’t take
no for an answer.  I decide to talk to Bob and Steve before I deposit
it.  In a way, I hope I can keep it and, yet, I don’t want to put Miss
Lili out.

Bob and Steve come in as we’re
putting the dogs out, again, and come out with us to play with the dogs. 
I watch them all to be sure I haven’t missed anything in my exams.  I
don’t see anything out of the ordinary so I go inside.  I check on the
newborns and Chaucee while mama’s outside taking a break.  I check each
one of them over.  Considering their prior existence, all the puppies are
healthy.  Mama got another bath this morning to be sure the puppies don’t
get infested with something and they can nurse from a clean abdomen.  Bob
comes in when he let mama in to be with her babies.

I corner him to talk to him about
Miss Lili’s check.  “Isn’t it good?” he asks.

“I don’t know.  I didn’t run
it directly to the bank.”  I resent his insinuation that I would, and come
to him about it afterward.  I explain to him that I don’t want to accept
that much money as a donation without knowing its okay.  Oh, not the
check, but that Miss Lili can afford the donation.  I don’t want to take
advantage of her.

Bob laughs, “Aunt Lili does as she
pleases and has the money to back it.  If she gave you a check to help
with the dogs, then she means to help.  Keep it.  Use it, just as she
said to.  She won’t take no for an answer and you’ll hurt her feelin’s if
you don’t.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you
and Steve about it.  I like Miss Lili and I don’t want to hurt her
feelin’s by suggestin’ something’s wrong with her, or the check.  But at
the same time I don’t want to cause her any problems, either.”

Steve came in during our
conversation and from behind me says, “I used to be concerned about her
donations and the amounts, but I was put in my place by her and her
banker.  Grams doesn’t have a money concern, and likes to contribute to
things she believes in.”  I turn to see Steve standing close behind me.
 So close I almost fall into him when I turn and he grabs me to stop my
fall.

 I get my balance with his
help, “Okay, it’s settled.  I just didn’t want anyone upset with me
because of it.”  They both say that would never happen.  They’re used
to Miss Lili doing these things and wouldn’t want it any other way.  I’m
convinced it’s okay.  Bob goes into the office to see Maria and I start
outside, but Steve stops me.

“You look like you had a good
night, more rested.  I’m glad number thirty one took Chaucee, even if I
did have to sleep alone.” He’s teasing me and smiling.  His smile spread
to his hazel eyes and caught my attention for a moment.  Then he put his
arm around my shoulders and starts toward the back door, “We’d better rescue
the dogs, Grams loves playin’ with them too much.  Has she seen Chaucee,
yet?”

“That was the second thing she
did.  The first was to come through the front door.  Then she checked
on José.”  We laugh.

“I believe she thinks of them as
her babies.  She has no living children, wasn’t able to carry them after
she got pregnant.  Sshh, she won’t like my telling that.”  We
continue across the grass to where Miss Lili is sitting, playing with the dogs. 
She’s a sight, white hair in a sea of multi-colored fur.  I can hear her
talking lovingly to them and laughing.  She has a sound mind, so the
donation stays here and she gets a receipt for tax deductions.  Steve
chuckles, “She’s having a great time and acting younger every day.  She
said the other day that sometimes a person needs a little shake up in the
routine they call living.  Seein’ her enjoyin’ herself so much, makes me
think she’s right, but then she usually is, and she’ll tell ya so.”  His smile
and the gleam in his eyes show his affection and respect for his
grandmother.  He pulls me closer, surprising me.  I’d forgotten he
still had his arm around my shoulders.

When we get to the pack of dogs,
Miss Lili asks for help standing and Steve helps her up.  I feel a chill,
in ninety plus degree heat, when he moves his arm.  He asks me and Miss
Lili out to supper before we let the dogs out at nine.  Miss Lili readily
agrees and, when I’m hesitant, she talks me into going with them.  Steve
seems a bit put out that I hadn’t agreed eagerly.  When Steve asks where
we want to go, Miss Lili suggests pizza and I agree.  Steve laughs and
calls the dogs to go in.  We let them get settled in their kennels before
we close their doors, clean the office and close for the day.

Maria has asked Bob over for
supper, rather than spoiling Shay by eating out too often.  So we go our
separate ways.  After supper, we drop Miss Lili off at home and Steve
takes me back to the office.  He helps me with the dogs and we say goodnight.

At home I take a shower and go to
bed, after Maria’s call.  Seems the night at home with Shay and Bob went
very well.  Bob even kissed her goodnight.  I fell asleep wondering
what it would be like to be kissed again.  It’s been about two years since
I’ve experienced affection, time flies when you’re busy.  Who am I
kidding, I’ve not been that busy.  I’ve become disinterested in the games
surrounding dating and relationships.  Disillusioned is more like it, I
guess.  Steve seems very nice, but is it a game with him, too?  Will
it hurt to find out?  With that I fall asleep.

I have two appointments this
morning.  Those done, I turn my attention to the newsletter.  It’s
ready to be distributed and the posters for this weekend are ready to go
out.  The newsletter is going together much faster now that it’s
organized.  Bob comes by and takes the posters to them put out, I take the
newsletters and the list of places to put them.

Steve didn’t come by today.  I
suspect I miss him.

Maria invites me over for supper
tonight, since I have to stay in town to let the dogs out at nine.  Shay’s
entertaining and talks about Bob, a lot.  After Shay’s put to bed, Maria
and I get a chance to talk.  She wants to know what the problem is between
Steve and me.  I didn’t know there was a problem.  She and Bob have
talked about me and my reluctant attitude toward Steve.  Maria says she
doesn’t understand the harm in being friendly.  I have to tell her I don’t
understand, either.  I like Steve, he’s a nice guy, but something’s holding
me back.  Maria says I’m about to lose a good thing.  Steve wants to
date me, but I’m acting like I don’t want to see him.

That’s when Maria reminds me
Steve’s fiancé left him, just short of the alter.  His ex broke up with
him a week before the wedding.  Her chance to join a band as a singer was
more important.  The last he’d heard of her, she was pregnant and married
to some cowboy in Arizona.  He’s not really been interested in anyone
since, dated a little, but nothing serious.  Sorta like what happened to
me.  That’s a little more information than Miss Lili had told us.

I ask Maria about her and
Bob.  She says she’s being cautious.  She has Shay to consider and
doesn’t want to rush things.  She likes Bob, very much, but she can’t take
a chance and rush into anything that might hurt Shay.  Unfortunately,
Shay’s already taken with him.  She doesn’t want to put Bob off, but
Shay’s enthusiasm is making it difficult for her to sort out her feelings.

I suggest maybe she already knows
it’s too late to protect Shay, and Bob might hurt him by leaving, or with his
attraction to her.  She admits that’s true, but she can’t have men roaming
through her and Shay’s lives like it was a main thoroughfare.  She’s dated
a little, but not in the last year.  She found the men were passing
through, on their way to someone else, or not wanting to start with a
toddler.  She mistrusts men for many reasons and so she takes it slow with
them.